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1/25/2018 7:38:29 AM
Posted: 9/19/2001 6:31:10 PM EST
Rec'd by email today...thought I'd share. "Good evening my fellow Americans. First, I want to pass on my condolences to the people of New York and all Americans that are hurting in this tragic time. You can rest assured that anything and everything that can be done to assure the safety of our country will be done. This is the greatest country in the world and we will get through this trying time. Now is the time for all people to set aside our petty differences and show the world that no one or nothing can destroy the fortitude of the American people. To the people responsible for today's tragedy, I say this: Are you fucking kidding me? Are the turbans on your heads wrapped too tight? Have you gone too long without a bath? Do you not know who you are fucking with? Americans are so hungry to kill, that we shoot at each other every day. We will relish that opportunity for new targets for our aggression. Have you forgotten history? What happened to the last people that started fucking around with us? Remember the little yellow bastards over in Japan? We slapped them all over the Pacific and roasted about 2 million of them in their own back yard. That's what we in America call a big ass barbecue. Ever seen Texas on a map? Ever wonder why it's so big? Because we wanted it that way, Mexico started jacking around with the Alamo and now they cut our lawns. England? We sent them packing. Ask your buddy Saddam about fucking with the good 'ole USA. The only reason he got away the first time is because it's too hard to shoot someone when you're doubled over laughing at them. Our soldiers aren't trained to laugh and shoot at the same time. Now he couldn't stop a pack of cub scouts from taking over his shitty little country. Trust us, Afghanistan will end up a giant kitty litter box. Go ahead and try to hide, Bin Laden. There's not a hole deep enough or a mountain high enough that's going to keep your came! l riding asses safe. We will bomb every inch of the country that harbors him, his camps and any place that looks and even smells like he was there. Hell, we might even drop a few bombs on people that have pissed us off in the past. This is America. We kick ass. This is what we do. Go ahead and laugh now, but the Tomahawks are coming and we will smoke your sorry asses. God bless America! "
Link Posted: 9/19/2001 6:36:31 PM EST
ROFLMAO!! I almost peed my pants.
Link Posted: 9/19/2001 10:18:44 PM EST
Nice, had to read it with a Texas twang for full effect. Good point too. We are the biggest, not because we are the nicest. We are the Baddest, always have been.
Link Posted: 9/19/2001 11:27:23 PM EST
Man, I just about fell out of my chair too! BoR is right. It takes Bush's Texas twang to perfect it.
Link Posted: 9/19/2001 11:31:36 PM EST
We have a winner!!! That is definitely in the top ten list of funniest things I have ever read on this board!! [:o)][:o)][:o)][:o)][:o)][:o)] sgtar15
Link Posted: 9/20/2001 7:53:58 AM EST
My favorite part was "Why is Texas so big?!?! BECAUSE WE WANTED IT THAT WAY...now they are cutting our lawns." I about died laughing. As the UT chant says, "Texas Fight, Texas Fight, Go Texas Fight!"
Link Posted: 9/20/2001 7:59:08 AM EST
Funny shit.
Link Posted: 9/20/2001 8:07:03 AM EST
Originally Posted By sgtar15: We have a winner!!! That is definitely in the top ten list of funniest things I have ever read on this board!! [:o)][:o)][:o)][:o)][:o)][:o)] sgtar15
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I gotta agree, lmao
Link Posted: 9/20/2001 8:15:44 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/20/2001 8:41:20 AM EST
ROTFLMAO I'm in laughing convulsions here. My sides ache. Oh crap. I gotta' change my drawers now.
Link Posted: 9/20/2001 8:58:21 AM EST
Definately a good one......I'd give it 4 thumbs up but I only have 2. You know it's good when you have to wait to stop shaking in laughter to type. Mind if I share this with some people?
Link Posted: 9/20/2001 9:19:54 AM EST
I wish that is what had been said.....it was soooooo great.
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