Actual Exchanges Between Pilots And Control Towers.

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Actual Exchanges Between Pilots And Control Towers.

Posted: 11/27/2014 10:16:25 AM EDT

http://www.tickld.com/x/actual-exchanges-between-pilots-and-control-towers

Posted: 11/27/2014 10:21:07 AM EDT

[#1]

I'm smiling

Posted: 11/27/2014 10:23:31 AM EDT

[#2]

If I want to hear that, all I need to do is take the elevator upstairs.

Posted: 11/27/2014 10:26:55 AM EDT

[#3]

This is older than the internet . Eastern Airlines folded in 1991

Posted: 11/27/2014 10:30:18 AM EDT

[#4]

Quote History

Quoted:
If I want to hear that, all I need to do is take the elevator upstairs.

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I would just need to go downstairs to COMM maintenance area and temp mod a position. The novelty wears off quickly.

Posted: 11/27/2014 10:32:43 AM EDT

[#5]

LOL at " because You lost the bloody War" thanks for sharing OP!

Posted: 11/27/2014 10:33:24 AM EDT

[#6]

What's a United 727 doing in London?

Posted: 11/27/2014 10:37:29 AM EDT

[#7]

Oldy but goody

Posted: 11/27/2014 10:37:48 AM EDT

[#8]

Having a father and brother who were airline pilots and have both passed away, I never tire of this stuff. Sure, you posted an old list of funnies, but I enjoyed them!

Posted: 11/27/2014 10:40:24 AM EDT

[#9]

Best on I've ever hear of:

Weather was getting bad and everyone was in a rush to get in before the storm.

Tower: Jet Blue 243 (what ever the flight number was) cleared visual approach made best speed.

Jet blue 243: cleared visual we'll be balls to the wall

Tower: American 1341 cleared contact approach follow Jet blue

American 1341 (female pilot) roger follow American cleared contact. We can't go balls to the wall but we'll go wide open.

Jet Blue pilot comes back on channel: Is American hiring?

Posted: 11/27/2014 11:09:31 AM EDT

[#10]

Now if the FAA would stop screwing around and un-"fix" their hiring system, there might be enough controllers to have more of these moments.

Posted: 11/27/2014 11:18:44 AM EDT

[#11]

Pilots are good people.

We're some of the angriest, raunchiest, egotistical, selfish, snappiest, wannabe alpha males on the planet.

Again, we're good people

Posted: 11/27/2014 11:20:53 AM EDT

[#12]

Thanks for the laughs OP.

"Twice, but I didn't land".....

Posted: 11/27/2014 11:24:17 AM EDT

[#13]

Quote History

Quoted:
Pilots are good people.

We're some of the angriest, raunchiest, egotistical, selfish, snappiest, wannabe alpha males on the planet.

Again, we're good people

View Quote

Strange people that talk about women when they are around planes and planes when they are around women.

Posted: 11/27/2014 11:29:28 AM EDT

[#14]

Quote History

Quoted:
Pilots are good people.

We're some of the angriest, raunchiest, egotistical, selfish, snappiest, wannabe alpha males on the planet.

Again, we're good people

View Quote

Good to see you're still around!

Posted: 11/27/2014 11:34:06 AM EDT

[#15]

Quote History

Quoted:

Good to see you're still around!

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Pilots are good people.

We're some of the angriest, raunchiest, egotistical, selfish, snappiest, wannabe alpha males on the planet.

Again, we're good people

Good to see you're still around!

Yeah, buddy!

Good to see you as well.
New airline, same bullshit. But the sky is blue and the future is bright.

Posted: 11/27/2014 11:35:51 AM EDT

[#16]

I'm always surprised that plane people are gun people and usually gun people are plane people.

Posted: 11/27/2014 11:49:30 AM EDT

[#17]

On Youtube you can search for "funny ATC" and hear some of the better recordings of real radio traffic.

Posted: 11/27/2014 11:52:09 AM EDT

[#18]

How do you know when you are on a date with a pilot?

Halfway through the date he says "Enough about flying, let's talk about me".

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Posted: 11/27/2014 12:06:10 PM EDT

[#19]

Quote History

Quoted:
How do you know when you are on a date with a pilot?

Halfway through the date he says "Enough about flying, let's talk about me".

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

View Quote

Q: How many pilots does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One...he just holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

Posted: 11/27/2014 12:07:03 PM EDT

[#20]

What do you call a pregnant flight attendant?

Pilot error.

Whats the difference between an engine and a pilot?

The engine quits whining at the gate.

Posted: 11/27/2014 12:09:21 PM EDT

[#21]

Quote History

Quoted:

Q: How many pilots does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One...he just holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
How do you know when you are on a date with a pilot?

Halfway through the date he says "Enough about flying, let's talk about me".

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Q: How many pilots does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One...he just holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

Change a light bulb? Just call in code 2 and have the crew chief fix it.

Posted: 11/27/2014 12:25:02 PM EDT

[#22]

Dang it! Hit Reply instead of Quote.

Posted: 11/27/2014 12:26:13 PM EDT

[#23]

Quote History

Quoted:

Pilots are good people.

We're some of the angriest, raunchiest, egotistical, selfish, snappiest, wannabe alpha males on the planet.

Again, we're good people

View Quote

So, you knew my dad!

I recall things were his way or the wrong way. Truth is though, I can't remember him steering me wrong.

Posted: 11/27/2014 1:01:52 PM EDT

[#24]

How does a pilot's wife prepare for sex?

She drops him off at the airport.

I was a ramp supervisor for an airline while in college. A secondary duty was running the deice pads so I was driving back and forth to deal with issues on both. I was simultaneously listening to the ramp and A-G radios.

This exchange was one of the best I can remember...

New guy is communicating with the pilot to collect info for their log. He goes off script and instead of saying, "Deicer to the flight deck (PC bullshit)", he says, "Deicer to the cockpit."

A female voice very calmly responds, "Young man this is an all female crew tonight. We're a box office, not a cockpit."

I almost wrecked the SUV I was driving I laughed so hard.

Posted: 11/27/2014 1:30:38 PM EDT

[#25]

OP, do you know how old this shit is? TWA went out of business in 2001. Both Pan Am and Eastern went bankrupt in 1991. The pilot who claimed to have flown over Frankfurt in 1944 would have hit retirement age in 1986.

Posted: 11/27/2014 1:44:10 PM EDT

[#26]

Quote History

Quoted:
Thanks for the laughs OP.

"Twice, but I didn't land".....

View Quote

Posted: 11/27/2014 1:50:29 PM EDT

[#27]

Quote History

Quoted:

I'm always surprised that plane people are gun people and usually gun people are plane people.

View Quote

Machines are cool.

Posted: 11/27/2014 1:55:57 PM EDT

[#28]

That's great. Got the little Fokker in sight!!

Posted: 11/27/2014 2:03:04 PM EDT

[#29]

Quote History

Quoted:

Thanks for the laughs OP.

"Twice, but I didn't land".....

View Quote

This. I was rolling.

Posted: 11/27/2014 2:15:27 PM EDT

[#30]

Quote History

Quoted:

OP, do you know how old this shit is? TWA went out of business in 2001. Both Pan Am and Eastern went bankrupt in 1991. The pilot who claimed to have flown over Frankfurt in 1944 would have hit retirement age in 1986.

View Quote

And? I've been on this site sine 2002 and haven't seen it before.

Posted: 11/27/2014 2:15:57 PM EDT

[#31]

This one made me smile:

Posted: 11/28/2014 1:21:09 AM EDT

[#32]

The first one isn't from a control tower. Towers don't control airspace at FL350.

It's clearly from an ARTCC.

Posted: 11/28/2014 1:41:28 AM EDT

[#33]

The best one is the collection of logbook write ups.

It makes me laugh every time.

Someone here may know where it is.

Posted: 11/28/2014 3:09:48 AM EDT

[#34]

Quote History

Er Quoted:

OP, do you know how old this shit is? TWA went out of business in 2001. Both Pan Am and Eastern went bankrupt in 1991. The pilot who claimed to have flown over Frankfurt in 1944 would have hit retirement age in 1986.

View Quote

Yep!

An oldy moldy that's been around the block a few times over the years!

First time I ever read it, it was on a printed page.