You have to read it out loud.

A bear goes into a bar. He sit's down, and the bartender says "what'll you have". The bear says "I'll have a pint of guinness ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... and a shot of whisky."

The bartender says "ok, but why the big pause?"

And another.

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

Danny

HA HA HA HA

HA HA HA HA

My mom sent me this:

Three black ladies were preparing for their first
   plane flight. The first lady said, "I don't know
bout y'all, but I'm gonna wear me some hot pink
panties on dis flight."

 "Why you gonna wear dat?" the other two asked.

 The first replied, "Cause, if dat plane goes down
and I'm out dere laying butt-up in a corn field, dey
gonna find me first."

 The second lady says, "Well, I'm gonna wear me
some fluorescent orange panties."

 "Why you gonna wear dem?" the others asked.

 The second lady answered: "Cause if dat plane goes
down and I'm floating butt-up in the ocean, dey can
see me first."

 The third old lady says, "Well, I'm not going to
wear any panties at all."

 "What, no panties?!" the others said in disbelief.


 "Dat's right," says the third lady. "I'm not
wearing any panties, cause if dat plane goes down,
the first thing they always looks for is da black
box."