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Posted: 8/11/2011 4:26:41 PM EDT
Before I start, let me say that I realize this is quite possibly the worst place to ask for advice about relationships and insight into the female mind, but I'm a bit down in the dumps and getting hammered on scotch so what the hell.
I started at the gym a few months ago to try and get into shape and build some muscle. Due to my metabolism I am and always have been a scrawny lil bastige and nothing has been able to change that. Unfortunately I am also poor, and ugly as homemade soap.
Note: This is not an actual picture of me (I don't have chest hair) but it should give you a mental image to go by.



Anyways, at the gym there is this nice looking lady who recently went out of her way to introduce herself to me. I work out 5 days a week and see her there one or two days at most, but after speaking to me she always makes a point to wave and call me by name when I enter or leave. I spoke to her trainer about her one day while she was absent, and was told that she was single and a very sweet person. She also stated that she had recently dated one of the guys who works out there and that she ended up getting her heart broken, which I believe is a bit worse than suffering from garand thumb and being forced to listen to vanilla ice at the same time. My co-workers who work out with me constantly tell me that they think she likes me and I should ask her out. I figured that idea would go over like a turd in a punch bowl, but after a few weeks of working up the courage, I went for it. She said she would like that, and gave me her number.

I called her one evening and she was very honest and up front about being hurt recently and that she wanted to take things slowly. She also said that she would like to talk quite a bit and get to know each other better before we went out. I told her that was fine and we had a nice conversation with her laughing and seemingly having a good time and telling me that she was glad I had called. I called her again a week later and she did not answer, but I figured she was busy and I went about my business. A few days passed and I called her again with no answer, but she returned my call and we had another great conversation. A week later I called her again but she did not answer so I left a message. Almost a week passed and I heard nothing from her. Today I see her at the gym and as usual she goes out of her way to wave and call me by name. She later comes over to where I am working out and acknowledges that I called, and even tried to joke with me a bit. She also stopped back by as she left and told me goodbye and said she would see me at the gym tomorrow.

My question is what is the point in not answering or responding to the phone call but going out of her way to speak to me in person, and bringing up the fact that she got my message. Yes, this is gd, and yes I am drunk and overthinking this, but I'm just a dumb country boy with a powerful need to see a vagina, and I need some advice. Is she interested or no? Playing head games? Playing hard to get? Just being friendly? Crazy? Pool party?
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:28:05 PM EDT
[#1]
Rule 1.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:29:29 PM EDT
[#2]



Quoted:


Rule 1.


siihpapp?



 
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:29:42 PM EDT
[#3]
I take it the obligatory fake pic of myself isnt enough
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:29:52 PM EDT
[#4]
Need pics before advice can be given

ETA: pics of the GIRL, not "Sloth"

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:30:03 PM EDT
[#5]
She may not consciously realize it, but she is stringing you along to vindicate herself, to herself, after having been on the losing and end of a relationship.

Just my dos centavos
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:30:13 PM EDT
[#6]
Some people have a life outside the gym. Take it slow and easy. The pie will bake if it's meant to be.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:30:17 PM EDT
[#7]
She's interested in you, but not THAT interested.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:30:48 PM EDT
[#8]
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:30:59 PM EDT
[#9]



Quoted:


She may not consciously realize it, but she is stringing you along to vindicate herself, to herself, after having been on the losing and of a relationship.



Just my dos centavos


Yup.  There aren't many ways I see this going well for you.  



 
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:31:22 PM EDT
[#10]
First off, pics Bro! We need Pics!

Next, its a woman thing, well never understand it, just go with it.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:31:28 PM EDT
[#11]
It's her move.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:31:33 PM EDT
[#12]
ABC

Always Be Closing

Just ask her out. The phone crap is a waste of time. Nothing serious a casual dinner would be good.

How old are you both? I am guessing under 25.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:31:45 PM EDT
[#13]
Inski.  El Pageo uno.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:31:49 PM EDT
[#14]
Quoted:
Some people have a life outside the gym. Take it slow and easy. The pie will bake if it's meant to be.


Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:32:16 PM EDT
[#15]
Quoted:
She's interested in you, but not THAT interested.


Thats the impression I get as well. I may have to move on to plan B which involves a chloroformed rag and the phrase "lets not turn this rape into a murder"  
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:32:30 PM EDT
[#16]
Her phone is probably broken.  I'd just wait outside her house.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:32:35 PM EDT
[#17]
Quoted:
She may not consciously realize it, but she is stringing you along to vindicate herself, to herself, after having been on the losing and of a relationship.

Just my dos centavos


That sounds about right. She could quite possibly be doing it without realizing it.  

But......what the hell is wrong with Vanilla Ice?
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:33:24 PM EDT
[#18]
Start hitting on somebody else at the gym and she will probably fuck you on the eleptical.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:33:55 PM EDT
[#19]
I was expecting pics......

But either way, like the post above, I agree this is not going to end well.  The first clue was the "heart broken" comment.

Good luck.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:34:08 PM EDT
[#20]
Tell her straight-out that you enjoyed your time together would like to go out with her again.



The ball is then in her court.  If she doesn't step up - move on.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:34:11 PM EDT
[#21]
Quoted:
ABC

Always Be Closing

Just ask her out. The phone crap is a waste of time. Nothing serious a casual dinner would be good.

How old are you both? I am guessing under 25.


both are over 30 with me a few years older than she is.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:34:14 PM EDT
[#22]
You are on the "back burner" - you get to simmer while whatever pot she is boiling on the front burner is available, but she never knows when she will need:

...help moving.

...a flat tire or some other car trouble handled.

...a ride.

... a shoulder to cry on.

... a guy to complain to about how she "doesn't understand" the guy she is having sex with (not you...) and he is "driving her crazy".

...someone to buy her dinner, a movie, or both when "front pot guy" stands her up or is otherwise unavailable.

However, when the front pot is unavailable, she will give you a little attention.

I strongly recommend reading John Ross' "Ross In Range" articles on this very subject.  You can play this, but don't fall prey to "one-ism", and don't take any "shit tests".
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:34:16 PM EDT
[#23]





Quoted:


but I'm just a dumb country boy with a powerful need to see a vagina, and I need some advice.





LOL

 






Maybe you should not wait a week between each call.  A 2-3 days yeah.  But maybe she thinks you're not all that interested because you're waiting that long.







But don't take my word for it, because I am in a bit of a dry spell myself.




Oh yeah.  Phone games are a joke all together.  The phone is to make a date.  




ETA: Yeah, I agree with the whole 'she's stringing you along to vindicate herself' thing, too.  makes sense.

 
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:34:32 PM EDT
[#24]
Quoted:
Her phone is probably broken.  I'd just wait outside her house.


Preferably in the bushes.









Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:35:20 PM EDT
[#25]
Quoted:

being forced to listen to vanilla ice


YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:35:30 PM EDT
[#26]
Eject.



















Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:35:36 PM EDT
[#27]
Quoted:
Start hitting on somebody else at the gym and she will probably fuck you on the eleptical.


I would but the rest are all guys besides this wildebeest lookin woman, and I dont hate my daddy parts that bad... yet.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:35:36 PM EDT
[#28]

Sounds like you worked your way into the 'friend zone'.

4073

Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:35:50 PM EDT
[#29]
Quoted:
ABC

Always Be Closing

Just ask her out. The phone crap is a waste of time. Nothing serious a casual dinner would be good.

How old are you both? I am guessing under 25.


This. If you are thinking about what she's thinking, you are thinkin' with the wrong head. Ask yourself, WWKRD or What Would Keith Richards Do? He'd take a pull of whiskey and git 'er done.

If you don't get some closing skills, you are going to be relegated to the friend zone.

Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:36:28 PM EDT
[#30]


ask her to go on a date already ffs




Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:36:31 PM EDT
[#31]
If she was seriously interested in you, you'd almost have to beat her off with a stick.

Back way off emotionally. Women are like cats, ignore them and they might come around. Chase them and they'll run. Whatever you do, don't smell like desperation.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:36:51 PM EDT
[#32]
Quoted:

Quoted:
but I'm just a dumb country boy with a powerful need to see a vagina, and I need some advice.

LOL  

Maybe you should not wait a week between each call.  A 2-3 days yeah.  But maybe she thinks you're not all that interested because you're waiting that long.

But don't take my word for it, because I am in a bit of a dry spell myself.


hell, i've forgotten which arm its even under
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:37:03 PM EDT
[#33]
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:37:22 PM EDT
[#34]
Pretty simple really wrap up at the gym same time as her without making it obvious and invite her to get a smoothie or whatever you healthy people do after a workout. And don't wait a week between calls with a heart broken woman who tells you she wants to talk often. Woman play phone games you just have to be consistant and give them the attention they crave without smothering them. If you can't get some tail being the rebound guy I don't know priesthood maybe?
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:38:07 PM EDT
[#35]
Quoted:
If she was seriously interested in you, you'd almost have to beat her off with a stick.

Back way off emotionally. Women are like cats, ignore them and they might come around. Chase them and they'll run. Whatever you do, don't smell like desperation.


yash i thknin I might ignore her a lil and see how that goes
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:38:36 PM EDT
[#36]
You need to make a point of being seen by her talking to other possibly more attractive women while at the gym. Yep.
...And don't call her again. You may have missed your closing window for now but it may come back around so don't overthink it or bother worrying about it.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:39:35 PM EDT
[#37]
Quoted:
Pretty simple really wrap up at the gym same time as her without making it obvious and invite her to get a smoothie or whatever you healthy people do after a workout. And don't wait a week between calls with a heart broken woman who tells you she wants to talk often. Woman play phone games you just have to be consistant and give them the attention they crave without smothering them. If you can't get some tail being the rebound guy I don't know priesthood maybe?


This.

Coffee, a smoothie - whatever.

Invite her to go shooting.

Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:40:29 PM EDT
[#38]
Is the gym in west Texas?
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:41:47 PM EDT
[#39]
Quoted:
She's interested in you, but not THAT interested.


This. You will do until something better comes along.

Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:41:48 PM EDT
[#40]
Sounds like she is interested but is scared of getting hurt again.  One part of her says to go out w/ you and one part is saying don't do it, you'll get hurt again.  I would just come out and ask her waht's up.  Say something like, "I like talking to you and would like to go out with you sometime.  I know you just got out of a relationship and got hurt, so I understand you want to take things slowly, which is good for me too.  If you are interested, let's just go out for an early dinner and coffee or lunch, something easy just to get to know each other a little more."
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:42:25 PM EDT
[#41]
Quoted:
Is the gym in west Texas?


nah its in AR
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:42:36 PM EDT
[#42]
If she approached me, I'd tell her to fuck off.  Wouldn't acknowledge her, she had her chance, that chance is now over, adios bitch.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:42:52 PM EDT
[#43]
Maybe you should bake her a cake .. or some-sing ?


How to pick up sweet chicks

Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:42:58 PM EDT
[#44]
Gym girl is a hard pick up.

Not as hard as waitress pick up, but still a challenge.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:43:30 PM EDT
[#45]
Just rent.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:43:30 PM EDT
[#46]
Quoted:
If she approached me, I'd tell her to fuck off.  Wouldn't acknowledge her, she had her chance, that chance is now over, adios bitch.


I like your way of thinking, and wish to subscribe to your newsletter
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:43:40 PM EDT
[#47]
If you want to land this chick, LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY:

1) Do not seem interested in her. This makes you look desperate.

2) Do not call her anymore. Let her make some of the moves.

3) When she sees you at the gym, act completely normal and have another one of those conversations you've been having with her. Act like everything is the same as it's always been. Don't act all hurt or disappointed she hasn't been answering your phone calls.

4) She needs to chase you a bit. This will tell you if she's really interested in you.

5) She's still in love with the other guy. You're on the back burner. She's lonely and needs to feel attactive by getting the attention of other guys. She also is trying to make the other guy jealous and let him know that she can get someone else.



Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:43:43 PM EDT
[#48]
Dear Arfcom, Please splain women to me....





your faithful browser and member, Navok


Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:43:52 PM EDT
[#49]
Take a pass on her and start talking to the hottest girl in the gym. Anything less than the best is a felony.




Link Posted: 8/11/2011 4:44:05 PM EDT
[#50]
Relax, be cool, continue to call her about ONCE every 10 days



Sounds like she's still getting over whatever she had before and working it out with herself



keep doing what you're doing and continue to chase other pie...I mean women



She'll come around eventually, if not, whatever



My wife was like that when I first met her.  Showed up at a bar with some other woman on my arm (unplanned, I didn't know she was going to be there, I would have rather not been in that situation)



But her jealousy streak kicked in that night and she got off the fence
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