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Posted: 8/17/2005 8:41:07 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/22/2005 1:30:16 PM EDT by roboman]
Try to keep the laughter and jokes to a minimum but I was wondering about colon cleansing product, their use, and what not.

I've (unfortunately) seen pictures of what comes out of a cleaned colon and what's been trapped up inside and it gave me the initiative to want to clean myself out. I don't want to get anything put in through my "exit" so to speak and would prefer to drink something.

Someone recommended FLEET on here a while back. I was curious about how it or similar products work. Do you just drink it and what happens next? Do you basically crap your life away for the next week? Is it a one-day or less process? Painful? Etc.

Thanks.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:42:13 PM EDT
uh..


bleach + turkey baster?
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:42:58 PM EDT
those pictures are fake


eat a shitload of undigestable fiber and clay and one of those beasts will come out of your ass too

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:43:12 PM EDT
honestly I think those pics and testimonials are a load of doo-doo.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:45:02 PM EDT
HOw bad are the pics?

What about eating a bunch of bran cereal? I made that mistake once...



....ONCE!
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:45:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DrFrige:
HOw bad are the pics?

What about eating a bunch of bran cereal? I made that mistake once...



....ONCE!



Kinda looks like large brownish/grey chunks of death. Horrible looking.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:47:03 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SirDrinksAlot:
uh..


bleach + turkey baster?





I just don't want to get cancer later in life, y'know?
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:48:03 PM EDT

Originally Posted By roboman:

Originally Posted By SirDrinksAlot:
uh..


bleach + turkey baster?





I just don't want to get cancer later in life, y'know?




pff, you want a clean colon, you don't want cancer, you want to make lots of $$$


You can't have it all man
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:48:10 PM EDT
I just do Citrucel (the powder) twice daily, seems to keep things in balance and moving quite well.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:49:03 PM EDT
Two words.........Bore Snake!
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:50:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SirDrinksAlot:

Originally Posted By roboman:

Originally Posted By SirDrinksAlot:
uh..


bleach + turkey baster?





I just don't want to get cancer later in life, y'know?




pff, you want a clean colon, you don't want cancer, you want to make lots of $$$


You can't have it all man



Well, you did say the $$ won't mean shit if I'm not around to enjoy it
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:51:13 PM EDT
metamucil for a month will keep your butt bore clean.
a good healthy dump is when you wipe your ass and there is no residue on the tissue paper
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:51:24 PM EDT
My little nephew ate couple of prunes at my house.
I told him they were giant raisins
You should have seen what came out of the little kid for next few hours

I say go eat a bag of prunes and your colon will be flushed out.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:53:23 PM EDT
Do you have a garden hose?

Use your imagination.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:56:44 PM EDT
So much for being serious . Can't say I expected it to actually be that way though
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:57:40 PM EDT
I dont think the fleet will do the trick. You need something to encourage what ever it is you're trying to get out - out. The best thing is Epsom salt [2 TBLS per 8 oz glass of water] Lemon Juice [concentrate] and Olive Oil. Drink it until you want to , stop then drink some more. Lay down and Voila, you'll feel like shit for a while but have a clean colan.

Patty
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:59:07 PM EDT
Ask a doctor that uses a buttscope or colonoscope or whatever it is called.. there is nothing trapped up your ass like what those salesmen will tell you
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 9:00:13 PM EDT
it's the only way to be sure.......

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:10:30 PM EDT

Fleet Test Prep kit. The kind with the Phospho-Soda and some other stuff in it.

I had a medical procedure done...had to use that stuff to prep. There are three components--the phospho-soda, two little pills, and one suppository. Thankfully, I was only supposed to drink the soda, the pills and suppository weren't necessary. I think I recall I was allowed to mix it with something, ginger-ale or lemon-lime soda, something like that.

That phospho-soda is very good at what it does.

Jim
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:11:34 PM EDT
Robo I worry about you.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:12:44 PM EDT
Have dinner at my sister's house.
If your colon isn't clean after that, you damn well better see a proctologist!
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:19:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By roboman:
Try to keep the laughter and jokes to a minimum but I was wondering about colon cleansing product, their use, and what not.

I've (unfortunately) seen pictures of what comes out of a cleaned colon and what's been trapped up inside and it gave me the initiative to want to clean myself out. I don't want to get anything put in through my "exit" so to speak and would prefer to drink something.

Someone recommended FLEET on here a while back. I was curious about how it or similar products work. Do you just drink it and what happens next? Do you basically crap your life away for the next week? Is it a one-day or less process? Painful? Etc.

Thanks.



is this your website here ?
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:22:11 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:23:43 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 10:25:32 PM EDT by EPOCH96]
Here's a link to a website about a guy that decided to order one of that Colon Cleaning products and docuement the results...

Colon Cleaning WARNING SEVERAL TURD PICS
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:29:43 PM EDT
Let me be the first to suggest tannerite. That, and a good psychiatric examination.

Obsession with what's up your ass is NOT a good sign, no matter how you look at it.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:44:27 PM EDT
Seems like if this were true, then Katie Couric's butt scope woulda shown some debris.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:48:21 PM EDT
Fleet is just a laxative (I use the term “just’ with caution since, in larger quantities, Fleet can turn you into a human fire hose!!).

To my mind, putting chemicals into your colon is probably a good way to cause colon cancer!

Talk to your doctor – if cancer is a concern for you, think about getting a colonoscopy to check things out. However, depending on your age, getting your insurance company to pay for it may be a problem.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:55:17 PM EDT
If you're going for the colonoscopy, they'll give you six liters of a pineapple-flavored solution (contains stuff like potassium sulfate) named "GoLytely" -- a name which indicates it'll make you "go' and that it's made out of gentle electrolytes. You simply drink three cups an hour and let Nature take her course. It's really delicious, and even after the 4th liter, you'll want more!
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 11:09:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By another_shooter:
If you're going for the colonoscopy, they'll give you six liters of a pineapple-flavored solution (contains stuff like potassium sulfate) named "GoLytely" -- a name which indicates it'll make you "go' and that it's made out of gentle electrolytes. You simply drink three cups an hour and let Nature take her course. It's really delicious, and even after the 4th liter, you'll want more!



That's just one of the options. The Fleet prep kits are another.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 11:22:25 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 11:57:40 PM EDT by guardian855]
Just drink metalmucil twice a day, seriously.

That's what a colon doctor told me after I went for a screening (I'm only 28 but my dad was just diagnosed with colon cancer so it made me jittery)

ETA:Also, eat a salad with dinner. The fiber will be helpfull.

Most of the colon cleansers are crap (pun not intended). A lot of myths and plain deceptions when they advertise these things.

Stuff doesn't get stuck in the colon for years, if it does it's called an obstruction and a big hint that you have one is intense abdominal pain and bleeding from the rectum.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 11:22:46 PM EDT
Just eat a bowl of Fiber One every morning. I think the box suggests 1/2 cup a day. If you're like me, your bowels will laugh at 1/2 a cup.

I try to eat 1-1 1/2 cups of Fiber One at a time. Really helps me stay regular. But then again, I can eat prunes like there is no tomorrow and have zero side effects.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 11:39:05 PM EDT
I understand that gerbils do a bang up job
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 5:08:12 AM EDT
Get enough fiber in your diet, and things will resolve themselves. Aim for 30grams at least. Recomended levels are 25g for adults, as I recall. Remove processed flour from your diet, and eat healthier...
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 7:08:09 AM EDT
My friend dared me to drink one of the 2 liter size bottles of prune juice. I downed it all in about one hour. As I took the last sip, I thought I had to fart. Ended up shitting my pants. Luckily I was at home. I spent the next hour running back and forth to the toilet. I honestly can say that everything inside of me was out. Drink plenty of water afterwords or you'll get dehydrated.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 7:14:33 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/18/2005 7:15:20 AM EDT by DevL]
If you are concerned with colon cancer eat red things.

<­BR>





Thats not a joke. Lycopene is the red pigment in vegetables and is a phytochemical that is known to prevent colon cancer. Processing does not matter. Tomato paste, strawberries, ketchup all have lycopene in them.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 7:16:12 AM EDT
Try Metamucil. It's a lot less traumatic than the Fleet saline laxative.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 7:18:55 AM EDT

Originally Posted By 82ndAbn:

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
Robo I worry about you.



+1



+2
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 7:34:47 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/18/2005 7:35:47 AM EDT by PBIR]
Perhaps it's just me, but two cups of black coffee turns my bowels into a bullet train. I have nail marks on the inside of my small bowels from where fecal matter tried in vain to outlast the java induced tsunami. 5 minutes after cup two it's time for the penguin walk. I use it as a bake timer for the coffee cake.

I believe no ass-plaque could survive such an assault.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 7:44:07 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Red_Beard:
those pictures are fake


eat a shitload of undigestable fiber and clay and one of those beasts will come out of your ass too




THIS IS THE CASE!! This thread has been gone over to death a few months ago. YOU DO NOT HAVE 5 YEAR OLD CRAP STUCK IN YOUR ASS. This is (pardon the pun) a load of shit from people that want to make money BY FREAKING YOU OUT by showing you SCARY pictures. Do not fall for it. If you had that kind of stuff stuck in your colon PERISTALISIS would NOT function and you would not shit at all. The people that are putting this stuff forward are HIPPIES, and when do HIPPIES know ANYTHING about real medicine or science. (and if they have a real DOKTOR recommending it, is he making a buck?)
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 9:25:44 AM EDT

Originally Posted By roboman:

Originally Posted By SirDrinksAlot:
uh..


bleach + turkey baster?





I just don't want to get cancer later in life, y'know?



Everyone's worry.

Eat a healthy diet loaded with fruit/veggies
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 9:32:03 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/18/2005 9:35:08 AM EDT by LWilde]
Don't do any of that crazy shit. Go see a gastroenterologist if you are having GI problems or have some questions.

Basically if you drink lots of water and eat a well rounded diet with lots of fiber and green leafies, you should be fine.

I ignored my own advice as a young man...and paid dearly with two colorectal surgeries. Trust me...YOU DON'T WANT THAT!!!

After you reach 50 get a colonoscopy! Colon cancer is not how you want to check out.

Forget that other quackery though...
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 9:47:11 AM EDT

And if you have a history of colon cancer in your family, start those colonoscopies ealier--like at 35-40.

They can snip pre-cancerous polyps during a colonoscopy, which beats the hell out of finding the tumor after it gets big enough that you have bowel problems.

Jim
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 9:51:07 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/18/2005 9:52:29 AM EDT by California_Kid]
What LWilde said!

I keep hearing the If-It's-"Alternative"-It-Must-Be-Good/Meat-Is-Bad-For-You crowd saying it takes weeks or months for stuff to clear out of your colon. They're veganism-addled brains are struggling to find reinforcement. Ignore them.


Originally Posted By KS_Physicist:
And if you have a history of colon cancer in your family, start those colonoscopies ealier--like at 35-40.

They can snip pre-cancerous polyps during a colonoscopy, which beats the hell out of finding the tumor after it gets big enough that you have bowel problems.



A big stayin' alive +1 on that. I have a bad family history of colon cancer and do not regret starting colonoscopies at 40. It was the right thing to do.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 10:03:41 AM EDT

Originally Posted By roboman:
Try to keep the laughter and jokes to a minimum but I was wondering about colon cleansing product, their use, and what not.

I've (unfortunately) seen pictures of what comes out of a cleaned colon and what's been trapped up inside and it gave me the initiative to want to clean myself out. I don't want to get anything put in through my "exit" so to speak and would prefer to drink something.

Someone recommended FLEET on here a while back. I was curious about how it or similar products work. Do you just drink it and what happens next? Do you basically crap your life away for the next week? Is it a one-day or less process? Painful? Etc.

Thanks.



Just eat right and stay hydrated.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 10:04:54 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Planerench:
Two words.........Bore Snake!



You just make Dr Pepper shoot out of my nose. thanks
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 10:05:49 AM EDT
Important tip:

NEVER take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 10:10:12 AM EDT
The trick to a clean colon is to pay a hooker to give you the enema.

Then you won't feel like a fag.

Link Posted: 8/18/2005 10:16:04 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SteyrAUG:
The trick to a clean colon is to pay a hooker to give you the enema.

Then you won't feel like a fag.




No, but you'll feel like you paid a hooker to stick something in your ass.

Wait, male or female hooker? And why wouldn't you feel like a fag?
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 10:16:44 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SteyrAUG:
The trick to a clean colon is to pay a hooker to give you the enema.

Then you won't feel like a fag.



Link Posted: 8/18/2005 10:18:14 AM EDT

Originally Posted By yobo:
My little nephew ate couple of prunes at my house.
I told him they were giant raisins
You should have seen what came out of the little kid for next few hours

I say go eat a bag of prunes and your colon will be flushed out.



When I was 8 or 9 we went to my grand parents vacation shack up in the NE AL mountains. Walked down to a little store and my bro got some nasty looking peppermint sticks. Grossed me out so I bought a box of prunes and ate them on the walk home. When my grandfather saw what I had done he said, "I wouldn't stray too far off for awhile ir I were you."
I think I'm still cleaned out after all these years.

Just eat a lot of fiber- fruits, vegetables, cereals. Drink a couple-three of qts of H2O a day. Keep away from processed food as much as you can. God already designed a system that works, if you work with it.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 10:36:44 AM EDT
More information here. Read and learn: www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/gastro.html
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