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Posted: 11/14/2001 6:59:02 AM EDT
To all - get out your notebooks, and learn from The Master. THIS is how you flame. [:D] [b]Garandman, your incessant posting of sanctimonious bullshit and self righteous nonsense proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that indeed sometimes the slowest sperm does fertilize the egg... While you may fancy yourself some sort of a “Christian”, I am sure Christ would gleefully leap off the nearest bridge in order to disassociate himself with your holier-than-thou crap. All I can think of when my eyes are burned with the continual lack of quality content of your posts, bible thumping horseshit, and moderator ass-kissing is that another 4 minutes of my life could be potentially wasted should I make the mistake to read whatever you have written. You have dirty clothes, BO, bad breath, and I am quite confident that should one open your top dresser drawer, it would contain skid marked underwear. Your children will grow to be nothing more then felons or beggars due to their genetic lineage. Likely, even your car is a smog machine, and pollutes the earth like you pollute this site. You are a festering infected boil on the ass of gun ownership, and Christianity; with the apparent intelligence of an autistic gnat with downs syndrome. You are the type of weenie that causes people of mutilate themselves, trying to escape the emotional pain that people as worthless as you even exist. Knowing that you are a gun owner, I am strongly leaning towards supporting testing for firearms. The fact that a man who can’t even grasp the insane hypocrisy that exists in your constant barrage of self-sainthood is allowed to own a habiliment of destruction is a fucking social calamity, and needs to be stopped. You cry like a woman, and you have a night-light to fend off boogie men. You dress in drag, and you listen to ABBA. I am guessing that early in life, Hitler encountered the Jewish version of “Garandman”, thus explaining his future actions. I wish you nothing less then painful pancreatic cancer. Stones in your shoes on long walks, and blisters on your ass as you sit down to shit. Sleepless nights, broken hearts, hurricane damage to your home, sadness, pain, misery, “Out of the Closet” outspoken homosexual children, traffic tickets, loss of loved ones, felony convictions for crimes you didn’t commit, weight gain, stubbed toes, sprained limbs, damage to the transmission of your car on the ONE DAY you really needed it, always having “something in your eye”, having to smell other peoples farts in elevators, long waits at traffic lights, getting laid off from your job, medical bills, having a squib load, then firing a round after it, holes in your socks, underwear that’s too tight, sexual impotence, limb amputation, or any other possible iniquitous event that could harm you as bad as your mere presence harms humanity as a whole. I believe elimination of inutile cocksuckers such as you could bring everyone on this planed of differing views together, for the sole purpose of your eradication. You are living proof that humans can impregnate rodents. I fucking hate you. McUZI[/b]
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:03:29 AM EDT
That's quality.
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:06:50 AM EDT
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:07:51 AM EDT
That was impressive. Av.
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:09:13 AM EDT
Wow!! Do you think Mc would mind it I borrowed a few lines? That being said.... Garandman..while I do not agree with half,,,no sorry 75%,,oops I man 99% of what you say. You do tend to do it with class! ( discounting your Nazi post the other day). And I will defend your right to say it. McUzi on the other hand.....well you know!!
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:12:13 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/14/2001 7:06:12 AM EDT by WolfAmongSheep]
Hey, whats wrong with ABBA??? They were the shit back in the day... [:(]
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:12:46 AM EDT
Or this... You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour p!ss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly. You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. (continued...)
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:13:45 AM EDT
(continued...) You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. (continued...)
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:14:29 AM EDT
and lastly... Your attempt at constructing a creative post was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you. (source long lost...) [:)]
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:14:58 AM EDT
I have to say...wow, that was good! I needed that laugh. I am not feeling the love here...
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:18:01 AM EDT
So the issue is what?
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:19:52 AM EDT
I knew there was a reason I like McUzi. McUzi Rulez.
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:22:15 AM EDT
Now [b]this[/b] is a thread that deserves to be thumbtacked!! [:D]
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:22:40 AM EDT
AMEN [bounce] [bounce] [bounce]
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:24:18 AM EDT
Halfway through the rant I thought "man this sounds like McUZI!" When I read to the bottom, there it is!! That's my boy, McUZI!! bandit idaho-ar15
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:30:41 AM EDT
Damn it would have taken my poor pitiful little brain years to come up with anything close to that.
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:43:55 AM EDT
Oh man - I'm in tears. Saving Mc's and Scott's posts to my hard drive permanently.
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 7:45:10 AM EDT
Reminds me of an old advertising slogan, "when you care enough to send the very best..." I've read many flames on Usenet over the past 15 years, and while there are some very good and experienced flamers there, the above ranks with the best of them. Impressive. It met several of the alt.flame standard types of flames. A few of them are: The Kindergarten Flame - probably the most common type of flame in a.f. Usually filled with profanity, spelling errors and unfocussed, ad hominem raving. This type is usually overused by sophomoric newbies and certain elder members of a.f. who should know better. The Terminal Flame - patronizing response to a Kindergarten flame. (i.e. "Someone must have left their terminal unattended." etc.) The IKYABWAI - "I know you are but what am I." Very common in a.f. Usually signals the end of a specific flame segment. The ALLCAPS Flame - sometimes profane - sometimes just pissed-off BUT ALWAYS REALLY LOUD!!! CAPSLOCK Flame - the rebuttal to an ALL CAPS flame. (i.e. "S'matter, your CAPSLOCK key broken?" etc.) The Fiction Flame - a story featuring an a.f. denizen/victim that is usually deprecatory. Can take the form of screenplay, dialogue, short story, pornography, splatter or genre fiction (i.e. science, fiction, detective, romance, self-help etc.). The Walt Whitman Flame - a derisive limerick or poem that creatively lampoons a victim. The Rocket Scientist Flame - implies intellectual superiority over another flamer. May include calls to answer a specific mathematical equation - or questions the academic credentials of a specific victim. (Used mostly by the graduate students.) The "I've Been Published" Flame - poor cousin to the Rocket Scientist Flame The Spelling Flame - points out various spelling errors. (Considered to be the lowest form of flaming to those who can't spell.) The Tired Flame - "Yawn." The zzzzZZZZ Flame - suggests that the victim's posts are boring or are having no effect on a flamer. One step further than the "Yawn". The Bicycle Flame - any flame with the word "back-pedal" in it. and, so on...z
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 8:34:32 AM EDT
McUzi is waaaaaayyyyyyy too illiterate to have written that alone- I'm guessing his mom did most of the work.
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 8:48:38 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/14/2001 8:41:30 AM EDT by Sukebe]
Garandman, I think McUzi is sweet on you. That stuff sounds just like the birthday cards that I get from my wife![kill]
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 9:04:03 AM EDT
Wow!....Did somebody pissed someone off? [:0]
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 9:29:58 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Avalon01: That was impressive. Av.
View Quote
My thoughts exactly. I need to memorize some of this so I can use it later. Think McUzi would mind? Or would I incur the same wrath garandman received?
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 9:32:34 AM EDT
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 9:36:42 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Sukebe: Garandman, I think McUzi is sweet on you. That stuff sounds just like the birthday cards that I get from my wife![kill]
View Quote
Must be nice...my wife just scrawls it on notebook paper[:D]
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 9:37:02 AM EDT
I wonder it the author writes wedding vowes. They would be sweeeeeeet!
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 9:37:58 AM EDT
And THIS is why we should FREE MCUZI!
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 9:38:27 AM EDT
Reminds me of a greeting card I saw. The card says "I love you today more than I loved you yesterday" on the cover. On the inside, it says "I could barely stand you yesterday." Don't worry Garandman, McUzi will probably love you more tomorrow. [:D]
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 9:38:33 AM EDT
Now that is some funny material!
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 9:49:05 AM EDT
That's Hilarious!!! I have no idea what most of that British stuff meant, but it sure sounded good! :)
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 9:50:22 AM EDT
DAMN! Now THAT was a great flame. Scott's was within an RCH of being as good...but it appears to be (With all due respect here...!) pre-prepared for use in circumstances such as these. What can I say but what a piece of work by McUZI! Thank you Garandman for the opportunity to see a master in operation. Whether we agree or not with the content, that is a masterpiece of flameology, and certainly one for the history books. Since Old 'Uz didn't copyright it...it's ours to plagiarize as we see fit! McUZI, my hat is off to you...that is truly a masterful piece of artistic prose. Well done! [grenade] [:D][beer][:D]
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 9:54:34 AM EDT
Mc F**cking Beautiful...[flame]
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 10:00:27 AM EDT
Has the pool started for how long this screen name will last?[IMG]http://www.theunholytrinity.org/cracks_smileys/contrib/aahmed/biggrin.gif[/IMG]
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 10:19:58 AM EDT
damn i need to save a copy of that for future use
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 10:23:17 AM EDT
It brought tears to my eyes... (from laughter [:D]) Hey SteyrAUG -- Remember these? [img]web-comm.com/ar15/mc3.jpg[/img] [img]web-comm.com/ar15/mc7.jpg[/img]
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 10:26:25 AM EDT
If I hated someone that much, it wouldn't be worth my time to say/type all of that to them. Tyler
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 11:42:25 AM EDT
Well...Hmmmm...I concur wholeheartedly.
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 11:44:18 AM EDT
literally---LMAO ! FRIGGN HILLARIOUS.
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 1:17:36 PM EDT
Free Mcuzi!
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 1:17:57 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/14/2001 1:19:36 PM EDT by garandman]
Originally Posted By McUzi: ....the ass of gun ownership McUZI[/b]
View Quote
Funny part is, that that clever little phrase that McUzi turned (quoted above) was pretty much how I've always thought of him. [}:D] But to think that I am his own personal "festering infected boil"......what can I say???? I am honored. [:I] BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [:D]
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 1:57:05 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 2:12:01 PM EDT
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! McUzi has outdone himself. Bravo!
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 2:19:37 PM EDT
he's a criminal genius [:D] i wonder if McUzi is really just an insecure fellow who had most all of that stuff happen to him? that what i call "poetic injustice"
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 2:29:56 PM EDT
2 comments: 1. I like ABBA (they are way before my time) 2. Mc UZI....you rule!!!!
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 2:32:53 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 2:34:14 PM EDT
I think Mcuzi is my ex-wife's attorney!Damn...the part about having underwear too tight! That was the bomb...it did it for me.[B)] [b][blue]NAKED[/blue][/b]
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 2:36:47 PM EDT
Wow! I was hungry before I read that post, but it satisfied my appetite.
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 3:00:37 PM EDT
That reminded me of a "poem" I'd heard long ago. Nag nag you filthy hag you greasey grimey slut. Between those thighs green fungus lies and bugs crawl out your butt. Before I'd climb those festered tits I'd suck the ass of a dead man and die of the dribbling shits. ColtShorty GOA KABA COA JPFO SAF NRA "I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I require the same from them."
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 3:38:41 PM EDT
ColtShorty, I've been at work for about 20 hours straight now, and things were just bluring together a little. I noticed the poem combined with your quote was pretty amusing. Here it is (excuse the language): I won't be wronged Nag nag you filthy hag I won't be insulted you greasey grimey slut. and I won't be laid a hand on. Between those thighs green fungus I don't do lies and bugs crawl out your butt. these things to other people Before I'd climb those festered tits and I require I'd suck the ass of a dead the same from them. man and die of the dribbling shits.
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 5:46:38 PM EDT
That is freakin hilarious!!! [:o)][:o)] 20hrs straight at work & you can come up with this?? I don't know if I should be impressed or feel sorry for you. Or both. ColtShorty GOA KABA COA JPFO SAF NRA "I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I require the same from them."
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 6:42:03 PM EDT
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless piece of filth. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly. You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oink artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
Link Posted: 11/14/2001 6:43:01 PM EDT
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us normal people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are challenged persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your posts. It just wouldn't have been right. Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you. Bulldog OUT
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