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1/25/2018 7:38:29 AM
Posted: 9/29/2001 9:43:56 AM EST
Cast of Characters: God the Almighty- as himself Jesus Christ - as himself St. Peter - as himself Mohammed - as himself Towelhead - choose any AKBAR from any AKBAR LAND A MUSLIM GOES TO HEAVEN and realizes the man at the gate is St. Peter not some Islamic (JIHAD GENIE) Guard type. The story begins: Towelhead falls to his knees kissing St. Peters' hand when he is told he has made it into the Divine Kingdom. Towelhead is told that, "a REAL God loves ALL good people regardless of faith - it is the humanity and willingness to help his fellow man is what God and religions are really all about". "Hmmm", says Towelhead (feeling relieved and rejuvenated) and asks St. Peter, "being that I was a Muslim on earth is there a chance I could meet Mohammed the Great Prophet I followed?" "Sure", said St. Peter he's in the Kingdom up the road a bit. Im sure you'll see him - just keep walking up the road." And with that Towelhead got his "handstamped" and began his trip up the road. Towelhead came upon a man sitting on a rock skipping stones in a stream. The man has a HUGE aura of light around him and Towelhead asks the man, "Are you Mohammed the great Islamic Prophet?" (remember Mohammed supposedly leapt into Heaven off a rock") "No, I am not Mohammed you dumb Towelhead", says the man on the rock, "It's me Jesus Christ. Anyway, welcome to heaven Towelhead. Your friend Mohammed is just a bit up the road." Towelhead was so overcome at the kindness and awesomeness of meeting Christ himself that he fell to his knees and began to cry and kissed the feet of Christ. "Knock it off", said Jesus. "You don't need to do that stuff here in heaven - just enjoy eternity and TRUE everlasting happiness." Towelhead finally composed himself and thanked Christ for his kindness and followed the directions towards meeting Mohammed. Towelhead sees a man sitting in a golden chair approaches and asks the man, "Excuse me Sir but are you Mohammed the Great Islamic Prophet?" The man replied, "HECK NO! You DUMB Towelhead. I am God -the Almighty himself and you can meet Mohammed if a few minutes but first come sit next to me and lets talk a bit." Towelhead is completely awestruck the fact he is talking to God the Father himself and being told the secrets of the Universe. After a few minutes God asks Towelhead if he would like something to drink. The awestruck Towelhead replied a resounding, "YES". I can't believe Im talking to God the Almighty he thought to himself. God immediately clapped his hands twice in front of him, snapped his fingers and beckons out in his best USMC D/I voice, "MOHAMMED GET THAT SMELLY CAMEL JOCKEY ASS OF YOURS IN GEAR AND GET US TWO ICE TEAS - PRONTO!" The End [PISSED] [FLAME]
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 10:32:22 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 11:22:12 AM EST
Specwar, You have yourself committed a great sin you have referred to Muslim as a towelh**d even tough they want to wipe us Christens and Hebrews off the face of the earth we must insult them, kill them yes but just don’t insult them. Plus it is not nice to insult an entire religion just because a few million of it’s faithful are homicidal nuts. So please in the future refrain from using derogatory terms in referring to these murdering terrorists, and you should really apologize to everyone you have hurt by your callousness. Respectfully your friendly Sniper.
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 11:27:36 AM EST
LOL!!!!!LOL!!!!!!![0j] [uzi]
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 11:32:13 AM EST
No direct meant insult to Good God Fearing Muslims. IM TALKING ABOUT THE A$$H@LES IN THE WORLD THAT STILL WANT TO TALK CRAP ABOUT HOW THE WTC CAN BE JUSTIFIED BY BEING PART OF THE VENGENCE SHOWN BY THEIR GOD. REAL MUSLIMS WOULDNT DO THIS KIND OF THING - NO TRUE GOD FEARING, HUMANITARIAN WOULD! Damn! We even got the PC crap on this site (Post Clinton Era spy?). They were right when they told Mulder, "Trust No One!"
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 1:13:53 PM EST
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