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Posted: 8/3/2005 5:46:05 AM EDT
The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the  
city's most successful lawyer.

So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.
The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even  
though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a  
penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your
community through the United Way?"

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also  
show  you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has
huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh... no, I didn't know that."
"Secondly," says the lawyer, "my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and  
confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off  

"Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died  in  
a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three
children one of whom is disabled and another has learning disabilities  
requiring an array of private tutors?"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, "I'm sorry, I had,
no idea"

And the lawyer says,
So... if I didn't give any money to them, what in the hell makes you think
I'd ever give any to you?"

[foghornleghorn]It's a joke, son!  A joke!  Get it?[/foghornleghorn]
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 5:59:31 AM EDT

Link Posted: 8/3/2005 6:07:54 AM EDT

There are few truer oxymorons than that (Lawyers Heart)
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 6:10:53 AM EDT
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 6:12:32 AM EDT
 A lawyers heart/soul is as dark as an apes ass at midnight.
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 6:18:13 AM EDT
An elderly lady entered a local lawyers office and requested that he draw up her will.  The lawyer agreed and stated that the fee would be $100.

After the lawyer completed the will, the elderly lady reached into her purse and handed the lawyer a $100 bill.  As she was leaving, the lawyer realized that the woman had mistakenly given him TWO $100 bills that were stuck together.

It was then that the lawyer experienced a burning ethical question. . .
Should he tell his partner?
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