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Posted: 1/31/2002 9:43:44 AM EDT
1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours. 5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. 6. You should not confuse your career with your life. 7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. 9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 10. Never lick a steak knife. 11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie. 12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip. 13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven. 16. "The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. 17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. 18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
Link Posted: 1/31/2002 9:49:30 AM EDT
If you can keep your head while those about you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.
Link Posted: 1/31/2002 9:54:52 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/31/2002 10:00:44 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 1GUNRUNNER: 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
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Does this go with your 'You may be a gun nut if...' post?
Link Posted: 1/31/2002 10:13:08 AM EDT
You'll never see a site that won't look better looking back.
Link Posted: 1/31/2002 11:08:47 AM EDT
Trust, but verify.
Link Posted: 1/31/2002 6:54:34 PM EDT
"Once is accident, twice is conspiracy," said in a thick, Russian accent.
Link Posted: 1/31/2002 6:58:49 PM EDT
I like #3. Ilove my hobby! UH-OHH...[shock]
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