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Posted: 3/26/2009 7:28:35 PM EDT
What with all the doom and gloom around here these days, I figured since I was going to fire up the stove to make dinner I'd throw some levity into GD:

I present, for your entertainment, education, and edification...


RAGIN_CAJUN'S CALAMARI PASTA or "Did I just fire a squid round?"

First you need all your stuff:
calamari, tubes and tentacles cut sliced into rings
garlic, tomatoes, crushed red pepper
chopped parsley, lemon juice
and of course some pasta, specifically penne in this case.







Hmm, wonder what to do with this whole slab of Black Forest Bacon (it's so fucking good it's capitalized)..







I know; wrap it around the sea scallop that accidentally ended up in the bag of calamari!






May as well dress it up with some cane sugar and cock sauce...






Start cooking the penne (I don't need to explain this, right? Directions are on the bag!)






Put a bunch of olive oil in a skillet, heat it up pretty good, and start cooking the tomato/garlic/pepper stuff. As soon as your house starts to smell like garlic, toss in the calamari. A word about cooking squid; if you try to cook it over medium heat, it'll take on the consistency of a Goodyear. Slow works but in this case turn on the afterburners and cook the hell out of it. Shouldn't take more than a couple of minutes.






After the squiddies turn opaque, mix in the lemon juice and let it simmer on low/med for a few to reduce the sauce. When it's where it needs to be, stir in the parsley and then the strained penne. Throw the whole thing in a bowl and mix.






Don't forget that scallop in the broiler!







Top individual plates with leftover parsley and some fresh grated parmesan (only welfare fucks use the canned stuff). Serve with Pokka jasmine green tea and 9mm NATO ammunition.






For the obligatory ARFcom hardware section, a G26 with G18 mag, Buck/Strider knife, Lazy Magnolia Southern Pecan Ale (to be consumed after I finish studying for my F!@#$%G chemistry exam), and the bottom edge of an sealed vinyl LP of Pantera's masterpiece "FAR BEYOND DRIVEN".






ZOMG!! PURE FUCKING WIN!!






Game over, man! Game over!


Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:30:36 PM EDT
I want a G26 just to stick a 33 round mag in.

Oh, and 9/10.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:31:24 PM EDT
10! 10!! FRICKING 10!!!!!!!!!
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:34:26 PM EDT
10/10

Excellent choice on the beer. Good call.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:36:39 PM EDT
10/10

For not being steak and a potato, and for looking delicious.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:36:45 PM EDT
Good presentation!
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:37:38 PM EDT
Originally Posted By PUBBOY:
10/10

Excellent choice on the beer. Good call.


Gotta confess, I've never tried it. It was recommended to me at the store. When I quit screwing around on ARF and learn how to distinguish oxidation from reduction reactions I'm gonna find out what it's like
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:39:53 PM EDT
Fancy-ass meal with unusual ingredients and wonderful presentation plate... put forth to the world on a brown paper bag?


- BG
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:40:17 PM EDT
So much win in one thread.

Good job.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:40:54 PM EDT
10/10 from me.

Quote Mrs. Cyoung standing over my shoulder - "That's not a manly oven mitt!!!"

Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:40:55 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/26/2009 7:41:31 PM EDT by Ragin_Cajun]
Originally Posted By BUCC_Guy:
Fancy-ass meal with unusual ingredients and wonderful presentation plate... put forth to the world on a brown paper bag?


- BG


Err...YES.

Originally Posted By cyoung:
10/10 from me.

Quote Mrs. Cyoung standing over my shoulder - "That's not a manly oven mitt!!!"



hand-me down
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:41:45 PM EDT
10/10
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:42:24 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:42:58 PM EDT
This is the most 10 out of 10 dinner pic ever.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:44:21 PM EDT
WHERE'S THE FRACKING NAPKIN.


10/10 Looks delish, and i am not a sea food fan, but i would most likely eat that
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:46:02 PM EDT
Pure win.... Also interested in the source of the adult beverage.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:46:26 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/26/2009 7:46:42 PM EDT by Ragin_Cajun]
Originally Posted By brouhaha:
Where does one find this beer?


Whole Foods
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:53:58 PM EDT
Originally Posted By 70satvert:
Oh, and 9/10.


Originally Posted By mjohn3006:
10! 10!! FRICKING 10!!!!!!!!!


Originally Posted By PUBBOY:
10/10[/img]


Originally Posted By numberofthebeast:
10/10


Originally Posted By cyoung:
10/10 from me.


Originally Posted By 1776-1865_RIP:
10/10 [img]http://www.ar15.com/images/smilies/anim_beer.gif[/img]


Originally Posted By CanteTinza:
This is the most 10 out of 10 dinner pic ever.


Originally Posted By Papi4baby:10/10 Looks delish, and i am not a sea food fan, but i would most likely eat that [img]http://www.ar15.com/images/smilies/smiley_smartass.gif[/img]


Shit! Did I just demote myself from rifleman to cook?

Seriously, thanks you all. If I ever run out of ammo after the zombie apocalypse and y'all are wondering whether to let me in the compound, remember these pics!







Link Posted: 3/26/2009 7:57:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/26/2009 7:58:30 PM EDT by GUNSFORHIRE]
Squid=Bait...

Where is the fish?

10/10...I'd hit eat it!
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:00:00 PM EDT
I was going to take a point off for no wine in the calamari sauce, but then I saw the pics.

10/10 I'd eat it...infinite times.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:03:59 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/26/2009 9:04:14 PM EDT by furioso2112]
great meal, nice innovation on the approach; poor pic quality, paper bag placemat? no AR...nice 33rd, 1st Ive seen in a dinner pic; whole foods delights, but plastic ingredient bowls (?) and canned tea? outstanding kitchen setup you have there.

8/10...I know you can do better and hope to see it.
Link Posted: 3/27/2009 10:20:16 PM EDT
Magnolia? Keep your money in Louisiana and drink Abita Pecan Harvest.
Link Posted: 3/27/2009 10:37:18 PM EDT
10...great job.

What a fantastic way to effectively broil the scallop! Was the bacon crispy enough?
I usually cook my bacon a little first, then wrap the scallop in it so it is crispy enough.
Link Posted: 3/27/2009 10:44:26 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Intimdtr77:
10...great job.

What a fantastic way to effectively broil the scallop! Was the bacon crispy enough?
I usually cook my bacon a little first, then wrap the scallop in it so it is crispy enough.


Worked like a charm; the interior wrap of the bacon wasn't crunchy but it was cooked nonetheless and delicioso!

I ended up frying the rest of the calamari and eating with some marinara sauce from IITony's (a Bucktown institution; some of the best damn Italian food in NOLA!). I think it was even better than the pasta

I'll give a range report on the beer tomorrow; never drank one last night and ended up with a Warsteiner in hand this evening. To whoever was saying "buy Abita", that's kind of like telling me "you should really try eating crawfish sometime" YES, I know Abita. I GREW UP on the stuff. It's good; I just felt like something different.
Link Posted: 3/27/2009 10:54:25 PM EDT
Best in a while.

10
Link Posted: 3/27/2009 11:14:58 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/27/2009 11:18:03 PM EDT by weptek911]
I've never been a calimari fan, but that looks damn good.

10/10 - Presentation is excellent. I like the shopping bag as a placemat. Nice touch.
Link Posted: 3/27/2009 11:32:00 PM EDT
9/10

The pistol need to be properly orientated.

Grip away from plate.
Link Posted: 3/27/2009 11:35:45 PM EDT
I've gotta go with the crowd on this one,

10/10

no doubt. Well done, sir. Well done.
Link Posted: 3/28/2009 8:37:23 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Ragin_Cajun:
Originally Posted By Intimdtr77:
10...great job.

What a fantastic way to effectively broil the scallop! Was the bacon crispy enough?
I usually cook my bacon a little first, then wrap the scallop in it so it is crispy enough.


Worked like a charm; the interior wrap of the bacon wasn't crunchy but it was cooked nonetheless and delicioso!

I ended up frying the rest of the calamari and eating with some marinara sauce from IITony's (a Bucktown institution; some of the best damn Italian food in NOLA!). I think it was even better than the pasta

I'll give a range report on the beer tomorrow; never drank one last night and ended up with a Warsteiner in hand this evening. To whoever was saying "buy Abita", that's kind of like telling me "you should really try eating crawfish sometime" YES, I know Abita. I GREW UP on the stuff. It's good; I just felt like something different.


I'm from Mandeville and I'm getting a kick out of this thread.

When it comes to a choice between Abita Pecan Harvest and Magnolia I'll always choose the cheaper one.

Link Posted: 3/28/2009 8:41:36 AM EDT
I wasn't aware you pack that much WIN in one post. 20/10. Now I'm fuckin' hungry, asshole.
Link Posted: 3/28/2009 8:41:57 AM EDT
9/10.

Looks very good, however docked 1 point because squids scare me.
Link Posted: 3/28/2009 8:42:02 AM EDT
10/10 easy.
Link Posted: 3/28/2009 8:43:10 AM EDT
I rarely chime in on these, but that looks like some serious asskickery. 10/10
Link Posted: 3/28/2009 8:43:44 AM EDT
Originally Posted By DarkCharisma:
9/10.

Looks very good, however docked 1 point because squids scare me.


Say goodbye to your apex predator card.
Link Posted: 3/28/2009 8:45:19 AM EDT
Very nice!
10/10
Link Posted: 3/28/2009 8:48:25 AM EDT
10/10

I fuggin hungry now.

Link Posted: 3/28/2009 8:49:59 AM EDT
Very well done sir.

10/10...........
Link Posted: 3/28/2009 8:51:49 AM EDT
9/10 Square plate?
Link Posted: 3/28/2009 8:52:46 AM EDT
There was WIN everywhere...
Link Posted: 3/28/2009 8:53:32 AM EDT
......and the Glock is spent.........

well done.

10/10
Link Posted: 3/28/2009 8:54:13 AM EDT
9.5 / 10

Glock 26 although it was empty was pointing in your direction.......
Link Posted: 3/28/2009 8:54:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/28/2009 8:55:11 AM EDT by DarkCharisma]
Originally Posted By jarlragnar:
Originally Posted By DarkCharisma:
9/10.

Looks very good, however docked 1 point because squids scare me.


Say goodbye to your apex predator card.


I'll keep my apex predator card on land, but gladly hand it over in the water.
Source of squid fears
Link Posted: 3/28/2009 10:35:26 AM EDT
Excellant. Looks right tasty. I wonder why I ever moved from far southwest La. (like Port Arthur!) 10. WJ
Link Posted: 3/28/2009 10:37:33 AM EDT
I'm spent.....................
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