Posted: 10/10/2005 8:54:40 PM EDT
A report coming out of the Far East recently revealed that former ARF-COM member, Imbroglio, has forsaken all his worldly possessions (including his 10-22 and his .38) and has moved from the states to Vietnam to join the Buddists.
Information has it that Imbroglio recently had an epiphany after a near-death experience where his Vespa scooter got ran off the road by a roaming band of motorcycle rowdies. Considering himself lucky to be alive, Imbroglio decided it was time to change the course of his life and become more spiritual-minded. It is reported that he gave away his trailer park home, sold his car and personal possessions, and bought a one-way ticket to North Vietnam were he is becoming a Buddist Monk.
Imbroglio's Monk-in-training education includes chanting, daily prayers, servicing the older monks, singing Buddist spirituals and tending the vegetable garden outside the gates of the temple.
Friends close to the source of this new story tell us that Imbroglio has gotten use to having his head shaved weekly as well as taking female hormones to stop the growth of body hair. They say he will soon become a 3rd degree Monk and achieve nirvanah so he can come back in his future life as a howler monkey.
The Dali Lama himself is to conduct the "ceremony of the robe". This is the Buddist ritual where the monk candidate strips down naked and runs through the street while chasing an alpaca that has his robe draped over it. If the monk applicant is unable to catch the alpaca and recover his robe then he is deemed unfit for the monkhood. It is said that Imbroglio has been running naked through the streets of Dimm lil knaads for several weeks in preparation for the event.
Further details of Imbroglio's spiritual pursuits to be updated as reports come in.
Good. Maybe he'll douse himself in gasoline and put himself out of our misery by lighting a match.