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Posted: 6/23/2002 1:16:56 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/23/2002 1:25:57 AM EST by sfoo]
Rules of poetry thread: Titles to your masterpiece(s) are optional. One poem per post, please, for formatting and readability. Content should be related to or reference ar15.com, the board, or things about it. Poem must conform to either the limerick or haiku forms (if you don't know what those are, try google.com so you can figure it out). Limericks must rhyme, although some slurred pronunciations are allowed. See here for help: [url]http://www.gigglepoetry.com/poetryclass/limerickcontesthelp.cfm[/url] Haikus follow the 5-7-5 syllables format. Bonus points for including Ninja humor, making good clean fun of a major board personality or GoatBoy. Here's the first one: Post Whoring is meant for good fun To make light and amuse someone. It's often construed As selfish and rude, But only from Eric the Hun. There, that wasn't too bad. This poem is of course a limerick, and manages to include references to at least on board personality and a late breaking hobby of mine. I should really find someone else to have fun with their name before Eric finds out about this and starts to add to this thread. Heh.
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 1:20:15 AM EST
And now for a Haiku: The sweet sound of keys hammering out a message Another lame post. As you can see, this is a handy little example of haiku. 5, then 7, then 5 sylablles for the first, second, and third lines respectively. Plus the content is fresh and relevant to my current endeavours. [:)]
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 1:23:36 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 1:27:26 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/23/2002 1:29:40 AM EST by sfoo]
Your silly haiku Does nothing for me at all Don R should not sell! [:D]
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 1:31:30 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 1:33:23 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/23/2002 1:40:03 AM EST by sfoo]
One my way to making one K I've posted in night and in day It's silly I'll admit this poetry sh!t, To make a one thousand display. This is my last post, until I hit one thousand. I hope it will rock!
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 1:38:15 AM EST
Black and Green they wait Gleaming darkly in the safe Anticipation
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 2:16:45 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 4:05:24 AM EST
And now a Moderator's Haiku: Don't mess this post up! GoatBoy will ban you for life. Bye, Blaze-of-Glory...
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 4:14:08 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/23/2002 4:23:25 AM EST by realist]
Camaraderie is here I find myself thinking Grabbed me a beer The subject is plinking Their Black guns are Jamming They're willfully abusing Their Bolts are slamming It's Wolf ammo their using They've proudly saved cash On the range today Now into their stash The Smith gets his pay Keep using this ammunition The Gunsmiths need to eat When talking about malfunction This ammo won't be beat Realist [:)] edited for spelling [rolleyes]
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 4:22:17 AM EST
Alchemy Spectre Looks good in my gun locker range time paid off big!
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 6:56:05 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 7:01:51 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 7:26:58 AM EST
Roses are red Violets are blue Get the hell off my property or I will pop a cap in your ass
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 7:38:03 AM EST
Here's to me Here's to you. Should we e'er disagree, Screw you.
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 8:04:10 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/23/2002 9:36:56 AM EST by The_Macallan]
I don't do haiku. ~ Ode to SHTF ~ We all got a plan till the SHTF and our predictions are all wiped clean, When all we've assumed comes out wrong and we're doomed to learn the true depth of "unforseen". While you sit at the bench with a smug little stench and a subMOA to admire, Should the target you see become mobile and free and with glee return intense fire, Would you still have it in you to calmly continue with no rangermaster to call a 'cease fire' ? If such were the case, that for you mobs now chase, for a Reginald Denny reprise, Would your tack-driver aim be lean or be lame, while you're gasping and humpin' supplies. Would you curse every day that you fretted away stacking 30 round mags to the hips, Till you had so many clips of full metal tips, that to move half a mile took all day? Or would you dig in and chuckle and grin while the enemy plotted and planned, Then out of your den you storm gun in hand, but go down like Butch and The Kid? Be part of a group or a squad or a band of brothers you know like the back of your hand. Train as a team and stay lean and mean, to rally and defend your own land. Don't sweat what you choose you probably won't lose with ARs, AKs or FNs. Just take your best gun and be ready to run when to sh!t go your delicate plans. [:D]
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 11:48:55 AM EST
bunghole needs a date my right hand is getting tired oh, the agony
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 10:37:51 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/23/2002 11:47:17 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/23/2002 11:53:39 PM EST by Am-O-Tramp]
I just farted in my chair, it went up my back and through my hair, now it's time to say good bye, because now it's burning both my eyes. [:X*] Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. hehehe [:D]
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 12:01:59 AM EST
Sfoo the man post whore, Need I say much more! I read this thread, while at work - not in bed. 1000 post you'll make, I say "for heaven's sake". Why is he still up so late? He should be on a date! Social life real dead!!! When did last get head??? Not while posting here! Go away, have a beer!! Sfoo, is this what you do? Boy, i'm glad i'm not you!
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 9:01:11 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 11:58:48 AM EST
'Tis woman light in head light in heart so a man's joys start
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 12:03:05 PM EST
Saving for an AR I slipped and pissed in the jar The money is wet
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 12:12:29 PM EST
a jasmine flower in hell's bosom A touch of Hell. A touch of Heaven. ---Robert Wilson, Phillipines.
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 12:14:24 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 12:20:25 PM EST
From the testimony of WJC: ========================== Let me begin with The correct answer I don't know for sure But if you would like me To give an educated guess I will do that But I do not know for sure After I went through a presidential campaign In which the far right tried To convince the American people I had Committed murder Run drugs Slept in my mother's bed With four prostitutes And done numerous other things I had a high level of paranoia And from MSL: ============= Yes Our meeting started out with a fight So he sat down And we sat down And he lectured me . . . "First of all, it's illegal To threaten the President Of the United States And, second of all - " I mean, it was just And then I started crying Yes And at that point I noticed it And I kind of thought, oh This is dirty It needs to get cleaned And then I remembered That I had worn it The last time I saw the President And I believe it was At that point I thought to myself Oh, no
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 12:55:11 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 1:07:25 PM EST
UZI on the way must buy more ammo and mags ATF is slow.
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 1:22:03 PM EST
Here's one by my friend Bob Frenchu: Behold tomato Pierced by some fierce doggie teeth Pump Crossman and wait
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 1:31:04 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/24/2002 1:33:21 PM EST by The_Macallan]
Don't send in another to carry home lifeless remains to there rot from the field where I fell into sleep as I fought for my son to be free, no send them instead to deep bury the tip of my sword fire hot through the heart of our foe so he reap hellfury and vengence from me.
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 2:18:16 PM EST
He posted a scandalous topic And figured nobody could stop it but Babe of the Day Sorry, Steyr A Babe Of The Day was graphic Goatboy posted his warnings Others posted their yearnings They cussed and they fussed They covered those muffs But bad, the thread kept turning After a month of wrangling With teeth gnashing and banging Moderators said "We don't like the thread" "Post more, we will start banning!" And so the thread, deleted The arguments still, heated Goatboy was quite clear: "There is no porn here" "Really, it's just not needed." Although we ducked and we dodged The mods would not be dislodged "Post without posting" Lordtrader's hosting! For porn, just head to the Lodge!
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 2:34:34 PM EST
"Dr. Seuss", Autosear is here nor near: I can not shoot it here or there, I can not shoot it anywhere!!! I do not have an autosear, I swear I don't, Janet my dear. Do you have one in your gun? If you did would you have fun? No, no, I don't have one in my gun! No, no, I would have no fun! I'd be too afraid of getting caught, If this sear I'd bought, Of ending up in a prison cell with Bubba, Who when he looks at me might say "hubba, hubba" But wait I have a second thought, About the sear I haven't bought. It goes boom once for every pull. It has no auto and no full. One pull, one bang it all it does, if it did more, you'd call the Fuzz. To go full auto would be lewd. And if found out, boy I'd be screwed. Yes, yes, it might be fun. But from Aunt Tillie's Friends I'd have to run. Or else I might get a goosie, From the barrel of Lon Horiouchi! author unknown
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 2:46:14 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/24/2002 2:57:54 PM EST by ParaPyroPig]
Hot brass spinning bright Bare neckflesh sizzles and sears Feet jump - ouch ouch dance P5(ParaPyroPatheticPoetPig)[pyro][^][heavy]
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 3:31:01 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 3:37:20 PM EST
These jabs phase me not Your humor is funny though why not have fun here?
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 3:52:43 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 4:41:26 PM EST
Those who know me the least, call me an evil beast, and pass laws 'cause I look so darn mean. But those who knows me the best, keep me close to their chest, and have respect for me like a Marine. I'm hated and banned, by those with a plan, to eliminate your means to defend. But a Patriot's skill, and unwavering will, is my only true friend in the end. Though some call me clunky, at least I'm not junky, like a cheap chinese-commie knock-off. With iron-sight aim, you're sure to remain, above the best from that ole' kalashnikov. I spit thunder and fire, and I never tire, of those honeysweet full metal rounds. If I have the right sear, such music you'll hear, a barrage of a sweet thundering sound. I'll chew them all day, if that's what you say, and leave just an empty brass mound. The sproing of my spring, is a beautiful thing, as I kick out each empty hot case. The smell I emit, I'm sure you'll admit, brings a smile to your cheek-welded face. As you load up each mag, I just have to brag, 'cause I know what's about to take place. Make that soda can peel, Make those cantelope burst, Make that water jug shred, Make those metal plates ping. If you need me for real let me be the first to rip up a raghead like a VC "Dong-ding" When the time comes to crunch, I got enough punch, to make that little round twist and go yaw. Then what happens inside, is a hell of a ride, with a trail like a thrusting chainsaw. My brother - M4, goes clean through the door, and is great for a close-quarter battle. And uncle - 16, is a badass machine, when you switch him to full-auto rattle. I can't wait for the day, when we'll all go and play, like we used to before antis arrived. But until then, just don't forget when, we were free before being deprived.
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 6:35:25 PM EST
'Twas brillig, and Imbroglio Did gyre and gimble at a babe: She mimsied off sans folio And soon his raths outgrabe. "Beware the FBI, my son! The goons that shoot, the laws that catch! Beware the UN club, and shun The frumious black gun snatch!" He put his vorpal foil on head: Long time the manxome foe he sought -- So rested he by the Dumdum tree, And thought about the plot. And, as on kettle corn he munched, The FBI, with Carnivore, Went riffling through his data crunched, And burbled on for more! One, two! One, two! And so he scored A little Prozac snack! His mind restored, onto the board He went galumphing back. "And, will the shit soon hit the fan? Come stockpile arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Yahoo! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. 'Twas brillig, and Imbroglio Did gyre and gimble at a babe: She mimsied off sans folio And soon his raths outgrabe.
Link Posted: 6/24/2002 7:01:50 PM EST
This deserves special recognition in the "Adaption from other media" category. Beautiful.
Originally Posted By Renamed: 'Twas brillig, and Imbroglio Did gyre and gimble at a babe: She mimsied off sans folio And soon his raths outgrabe. "Beware the FBI, my son! The goons that shoot, the laws that catch! Beware the UN club, and shun The frumious black gun snatch!" He put his vorpal foil on head: Long time the manxome foe he sought -- So rested he by the Dumdum tree, And thought about the plot. And, as on kettle corn he munched, The FBI, with Carnivore, Went riffling through his data crunched, And burbled on for more! One, two! One, two! And so he scored A little Prozac snack! His mind restored, onto the board He went galumphing back. "And, will the shit soon hit the fan? Come stockpile arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Yahoo! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. 'Twas brillig, and Imbroglio Did gyre and gimble at a babe: She mimsied off sans folio And soon his raths outgrabe.
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Link Posted: 6/25/2002 6:56:24 AM EST
There was an inventor named Gene Who made the first AR15. But he happened to pass The tube for the gas Through the bolt, which will never be clean!
Link Posted: 6/25/2002 8:38:36 AM EST
Thirty-thirty rests shoulder Winchester model 94 Coyote! Hammer slowly falls.
Link Posted: 6/25/2002 9:00:27 AM EST
There is the wretchéd old lady, she carries the last name of Brady. I can't take her no more, hope she breaks down my door, then I send her some gifts from my bore.
Link Posted: 6/26/2002 3:53:06 PM EST
Here's another one (not mine) that I love: There was a young girl with a bust that aroused a French cavalier's lust She was then heard to say about midnight, "Touche! I didn't quite parry that thrust." [:D]
Link Posted: 6/27/2002 1:03:21 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/27/2002 1:15:42 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/27/2002 1:19:10 AM EST by sfoo]
Originally Posted By osprey21:
A limerick should have five lines. For example read some of mines. your lines are but four, but it's not a bore, So add one, or get charged some fine$. (I like what you have, though. what rhymes with -insky......hey....line #2 might be "while puffing a big Cubinsky")
Link Posted: 6/27/2002 1:39:16 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/27/2002 1:59:16 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/27/2002 7:00:35 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/27/2002 7:05:19 AM EST
Look at me! Look at me! I can spell "BTT" [:D]
Link Posted: 6/27/2002 7:18:59 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/27/2002 7:39:53 AM EST
Fans of the old M14 Still think that it's awfully keen: "The wood is so purty And the bore is a thirty -- It's the ultimate shooting machine!"
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