My Grandma just sent me this (I guess she knows me pretty good after all)
13 REASONS WHY A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN:
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You can buy a silencer for a handgun.
You can trade a .44 for two .22's.
You can have a handgun at home and another for the road.
If you admire a friend's handgun and tell him so, he will be impressed
and let you try a few rounds with it.
Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.
Your handgun will stay with you even if you are out of ammo.
A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
Handguns function normally every day of the month.
A handgun won't ask, "Do these grips make me look fat?"
A handgun does not mind if you go to sleep after you're done using it.
You can have more than one handgun living in the same house without
having problems.
A handgun doesn't care how big your trigger finger is.
A handgun won't tell all of its friends if you are a "little fast on the
trigger"...