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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 1/27/2006 7:42:12 PM EDT
10. Jack doesn't sleep. He waits.
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 7:43:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By AyeGuy:
10. Jack doesn't sleep. He waits for his gay lover to make sweet love to him from behind

Link Posted: 1/27/2006 7:45:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By AyeGuy:
10. Jack doesn't sleep. He waits.


9. You don't know Jack.
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 7:45:12 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/27/2006 7:45:40 PM EDT by Roland_O_Gilead]
8) Jack only has a Y chromosome because it killed the other 22.
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 7:46:24 PM EDT
7) Jack could kick Chuck's ass.
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 7:48:19 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/27/2006 7:48:40 PM EDT by AyeGuy]
6) Jack counted to Infinity. Twice.
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 7:55:06 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/27/2006 7:55:56 PM EDT by BigWorm55]
5) Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 8:09:05 PM EDT
bump for last 5
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 8:13:12 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/27/2006 8:13:31 PM EDT by sling_blade]
4) Jack's dick is so big, when he cums, clowns climb out of it.

Link Posted: 1/27/2006 8:18:17 PM EDT
3) Is Chuck Norris’ Illegitimate son.
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 8:19:00 PM EDT

Originally Posted By sling_blade:
4) Jack's dick is so big, when he cums, clowns climb out of it.




Link Posted: 1/27/2006 8:23:27 PM EDT
He is a fictional TV character.... Its true!!! Fictional....
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 8:29:33 PM EDT

Originally Posted By gmtmaster:
He is a fictional TV character.... Its true!!! Fictional....



quite true, but it would seem that many of the members here get happy where they pee when they hear the name jack bauer
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 8:30:29 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/27/2006 8:31:49 PM EDT by pcsutton]
Originally Posted By gmtmaster:
He is a fictional TV character.... Its true!!! Fictional....[/quot

Link Posted: 1/27/2006 8:48:49 PM EDT
2. Jack's gun is so big, if he shoots you in the arm, you lose a leg too!!!
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 8:50:26 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/27/2006 8:51:00 PM EDT by VoodooChile]
Apparently Jack doesn't like to be photographed
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 8:51:19 PM EDT
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland.
Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
Every time you maturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not beacuase you masurbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it.
The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.
It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.
No man has ever used the phrase, "Jack Bauer is a pussy" in a sentence and lived to tel-
Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
The real reason the Army ditched the Army of One campaign? Jack Bauer sued for copy right infringement.
If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is you... well amigo, you're fucked.
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 8:54:04 PM EDT
Frank Castle could whoop all their asses!
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 9:02:44 PM EDT
Bull shit Frank Castle would be whistling out of his peehole by the time Jack is done with him.
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