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Posted: 1/1/2005 6:25:59 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/1/2005 7:09:57 PM EDT by bblake00]
Push the help me I can’t get up button (AKA I'm getting my ass handed to me) on the radio.

1. Now the thing is when you push it you can not respond on the radio stating it was accidental.

2. The volume also has to be turned all the way down so that you can not here dispatch calling you.

3. Do this while sitting in the station house shitter while your supposes to be in the cell block watching the empty house.

Now I thought it was pretty funny even though it was an accident and I didn’t mean to do it. But the rest of the boys didn’t see the light. Well not yet any way. What a way to clear out a district.

ETA: Add your own.
Link Posted: 1/1/2005 6:40:27 PM EDT

What are the other 100 ways?

Link Posted: 1/1/2005 6:56:06 PM EDT
I think we can think of them together.

We are a mind of one after all.

I saw the food table knocked over once.
Link Posted: 1/1/2005 10:58:30 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/1/2005 10:59:19 PM EDT by Wildcat78]
Getting on the radio at 13 after , instead of waiting until 20 after when we're officially marked 10-8 for taking calls, if the roll call briefing is short that day.

Oh yeah, the guys on your shift will love you if they have to start taking calls early.
Link Posted: 1/2/2005 1:25:44 PM EDT
Making all your transmissions in rhymes.
"Always friendly, never shy. 23 is on the fly. 10-8, 10-19 6."
Link Posted: 1/2/2005 4:33:39 PM EDT
Check out with a "assist motorist" about 30 minutes before the shift ends..............................


Link Posted: 1/2/2005 6:05:11 PM EDT
I used to do this when I was working with a shitload of lazy slugs in my old district:

Become the "field dispatcher," giving suggestions to HQ about who should go where; "Ma'am, why don't you hold this 62c for 511, he's right around the corner on that 103, he can grab it when he's done, I'll handle the 56 over here by me." For added fun, call dispatch on the cell and give a rundown of who ain't doin' shit and is dodging calls. At least until they stop letting you talk to dispatch!
Link Posted: 1/2/2005 7:46:21 PM EDT
Speak in a Dudley Do-Right voice...
Make copies of the summer vacation pick list with the Sergeant's (or FNG's) name on every shift... whether he picked that day or not...
Ask co-worker "X" to switch shifts with you. When you file the trade sheet, and "discover" adequate staffing on his shift, burn a V-day (vacation) and stay home instead, while he works his day for you.

And yes, this is completely legal under FLSA, and allowed under most collective bargaining agreements...

Don't ask.
Change the following on the portable / mobile radios:

Scan list
Priority channel
PL tone (alternate - disable PL squelch)
Identifier number
Alert tone
KY on any of the following:
Door handles (inside or out)
Steering wheel
Gas fill cap
Rear view mirrors
Paint a "happy face" on the spit shield...
Hang a "WARNING - VICIOUS ANIMAL" sign on the cage so the friendly folks in the back can read it
Substitute the 30A fuse for the tail & brake lights with a 10A, then act surprised when they replace it with another 10A and it blows...
Link Posted: 1/3/2005 8:12:50 AM EDT
Damn, I could go on all day... (Mostly inspired by one stellar ossifer here)

1. Running code all the way up to your burg in progress.

2. Stopping the stolen van before backup arrives, initiating a pursuit

3. Doing a vehicle stop enroute to backup another officer on a hot domestic.

4. Running "pending calls" on the moblie, seeing paper pending in your beat, then initiating a tow or other nonsense (dodging calls)

5. Being lazy and clearing a call "ncd" only to have the next shift/officer have to play cleanup

6. logging "reports" while calls are pending

7. Jumping a "10-8 short" call in another beat to avoid a paper call in yours

8. not stepping up to the plate on EOW calls for your partner on his "friday"

9. Waiting until EOW to go Code7 when nobody has eaten yet

10. Calling in sick on holidays or other crunch times because you didn't have the seniority to get the time off in advance. (usually a skeleton crew already)

These are off the top of my head.

Link Posted: 1/10/2005 6:02:36 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/10/2005 6:03:08 PM EDT by DOFCOD]
I'm in CID...the best way to piss someone off is eating a Mexican buffet and then "cropdusting" the office 1-2 hours later.....
Link Posted: 1/11/2005 3:46:27 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DOFCOD:
I'm in CID...the best way to piss someone off is eating a Mexican buffet and then "cropdusting" the office 1-2 hours later.....hr

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