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Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:07:36 AM EDT
[#1]
Son# 2's AR is sitting in the Sherriff's safe right now, Goddammit.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:08:07 AM EDT
[#2]
Lawyer up, but I think you're good to go (federally, posession) until there's an actual hearing / permanent order.  

https://www.atf.gov/resource-center/docs/protection-orders-and-federal-firearms-prohibitions-atf-i-33102/download
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:10:47 AM EDT
[#3]
I have kids and as soon as they turned 18 . I ended all contact with my ex's.  I was asked about the first one I have no idea where she lives and don't care.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:11:17 AM EDT
[#4]
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Quoted:
How the fuck was she able to get a restraining order granted against someone thousands of miles away!!??
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shes bluffing/lying......
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:12:16 AM EDT
[#5]
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Quoted:
shes bluffing/lying......
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Quoted:
Quoted:
How the fuck was she able to get a restraining order granted against someone thousands of miles away!!??
shes bluffing/lying......
The judge didn't ask for some fucking proof........documentary evidence for god's sake!!??
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:19:36 AM EDT
[#6]
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Quoted:



Sober yes. Last time I got angry (but no threats) was 3 months ago. I sent nothing to her current emails that was not well thought and calm
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Don't listen very well do ya?   

Sorry to be harsh man, but if she is that crazy you need to do as many on here have said and 

STOP ALL CONTACT IMMEDIATELY AND FOREVER

I don't know how to be more plain than that, but dude... you need to stop talking (and calling, and emailing, and texting, and facebooking, etc etc) to this woman immediately and forever.    

If you are not willing and able to do that, you will get jerked around by her for as long as y'all both shall live.  Move on....   

Good luck.   
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:21:26 AM EDT
[#7]
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Quoted:


SHouldnt she be happy that you are stocking her (with groceries and various sundries i presume?)
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Quoted:
Quoted:
First, yes once I get the order I will have lawyer and should easily get her lies recinded.

Long/short. Got in huge fight 3+ months ago, said mean things (no threats) then cut ALL contact. Happy 3 months:)

Cut to last week, she emailed me saying I am responsible for paying some bills ???? (Divorced 4 years)
I tell her nope, she gets upset and sends 2 more emails threatening suing me. I didn't reply.

2 days later, says she's getting restraining order using stuff I said 3 months ago plus a couple lies about me contacting her by phone recently and also that I have been stocking her despite her living all the way across the country.

Her emails clearly state she's upset that I'm not going to give her the money so I think this is  easily beatable in court. I hope.

However what happens when I first get the order? She stated that because we were married this is going to be some kind of domestic violence thing, there was no domestic violence in the relationship.  

Will this order affect me until I can get it voided?  Does it affect my guns until I can see the judge? I've looked online but I get two different answers.

Should I get a restraining order against her immediately?


SHouldnt she be happy that you are stocking her (with groceries and various sundries i presume?)
Despite the serious nature of the conversation, I was ready to post the same thing.  Funny how that works sometimes.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:25:34 AM EDT
[#8]
Get lawyer.  Cease all contact with her, since there are NO KIDS.

And what is the rest of the story...Contact after 4 years with no kids?  
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:25:51 AM EDT
[#9]
OP. Cut all fucking communicaion. Remove this bullshit from your life and move on.

4 years later and still talking? Remove her contact info from your phone and computer and just fucking stop.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:28:36 AM EDT
[#10]
How much money do you have?

If you have around $30,000 I would use that money towards a law firm that has no problem billing you by the hour.

Then I would make sure they send a message that making up a bogus restraining order is not tolerated.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:29:18 AM EDT
[#11]
You can't fix stupid.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:30:47 AM EDT
[#12]
Restraining order is not valid until served. If the officer can't find you to serve it it will eventually die and you will be gtg. Save her threats and document her lies as best you can. Sell you gun collection to someone you trust to sell them back if you win your case in the end.

Judges can do whatever they want. Judge can choose to believe her despite evidence. I worked with a guy (LEO). He had RO against the ex who filed to have it lifted. The judge allowed some shennanigans and the lifted the order and flipped onto him. He sat for months until the judge finally agreed to lift he order so he could go back to work but refused to return his gun collection....?

So he could have his gun to work but he could not have the rest of his shit... He eventually lost it all because he had to file bank ruptcy and the lawyers ended up calling buddies to come buy his shit at auction... It was complete BS
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:31:36 AM EDT
[#13]
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Quoted:
Get lawyer.  Cease all contact with her, since there are NO KIDS.

And what is the rest of the story...Contact after 4 years with no kids?  
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She has a son (not mine) that means the world to me.

I am done with it now 100% though
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:32:26 AM EDT
[#14]
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Quoted:
She has a son (not mine) that means the world to me.

I am done with it now 100% though
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Get lawyer.  Cease all contact with her, since there are NO KIDS.

And what is the rest of the story...Contact after 4 years with no kids?  
She has a son (not mine) that means the world to me.

I am done with it now 100% though
How old is he?
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:35:01 AM EDT
[#15]
Dude, you don't have kids with her, you've been divorced 4 years, and you live across the country?  

Holy fuck. Just Stop communicating with her.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:36:00 AM EDT
[#16]
Pics?
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 11:45:14 AM EDT
[#17]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Pics?
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Well I do have....
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 12:07:52 PM EDT
[#18]
Was a police report created the last time you had contact with her?

If so, do you have a copy and what does it say?
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 12:33:55 PM EDT
[#19]
Quoted:
First, yes once I get the order I will have lawyer and should easily get her lies recinded.

Long/short. Got in huge fight 3+ months ago, said mean things (no threats) then cut ALL contact. Happy 3 months:)

Cut to last week, she emailed me saying I am responsible for paying some bills ???? (Divorced 4 years)
I tell her nope, she gets upset and sends 2 more emails threatening suing me. I didn't reply.

2 days later, says she's getting restraining order using stuff I said 3 months ago plus a couple lies about me contacting her by phone recently and also that I have been stocking her despite her living all the way across the country.

Her emails clearly state she's upset that I'm not going to give her the money so I think this is  easily beatable in court. I hope.

However what happens when I first get the order? She stated that because we were married this is going to be some kind of domestic violence thing, there was no domestic violence in the relationship.  

Will this order affect me until I can get it voided?  Does it affect my guns until I can see the judge? I've looked online but I get two different answers.

Should I get a restraining order against her immediately?
View Quote



1.  If you have no children with her, why do you have ANY contact with her post-divorce?  I don't even know what state my ex-wife lives in, and haven't for 18 years.

2.  Why would there be ANY outstanding bills 4 years outside of the divorce that wasn't addressed in the divorce?  It should have been cut and dry as to who is responsible for what.  Unless you have to pay alimony and aren't paying it.

3.  She SAID she was filing a restraining order.  Saying and doing are two different things.  And being presented with one is even a bigger thing.  She said that to scare you.  Until you are LEGALLY presented with one, there is no restraining order.  It should come from official channels or it didn't happen.

Now, that said....

The INSTANT a person threatens me with ANYTHING whether they actually go through with it or not is the instant that ALL communication, contact, involvement ends.

She should be dead to you.  Don't respond to calls.  Don't respond to e-mails. Don't respond to texts.  Block her number.  Restraining order?  She just got it-- legal or not.  No communication.  I no longer am a factor in her life.    If there is a LEGITIMATE reason for her to contact you, it should be handled by your attorney from this point out.  If she has some small-complaint, ignore it.  I won't rack up $100s in legal costs because she is trying to muscle me.  If it isn't addressed in the divorce, she has no standing.

And as for the stuff you said 3 months ago.  NEVER put anything into writing (text, e-mail, public forum, etc.) that you will not like hearing read by a prosecuting attorney in a trial against you.

Hell, as far as I am concerned, she just did you a favor.


ETA:

I see now that SHE has a son that means the world to you.  She didn't, by chance, get you to adopt the son and is not milking you for child support, is she?

Is the son the reason for continued contact?

I hate to break it to you, but if he is hers and you didn't adopt, it is her kid and you will be in her life only on her terms.  I'd say -- especially if he is young-- it would be better to cut the strings and let him move on with whoever she brings into his life.  That would be her right, after all.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 12:36:22 PM EDT
[#20]
In before OP learns a shitty lesson .
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 12:36:42 PM EDT
[#21]
My ex pulled a similar stunt on me after we separated, but she was trying to keep my kid from me. I just put everything but my carry gun at my dads and continued with life. The court date came, I went in without a lawyer, and the order was dropped because it was so bogus. Bitches be tripping. And you're tripping even harder because all you had to do was not reply.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 12:43:53 PM EDT
[#22]
Divorced for four years, got into a "big fight" three months ago.....Sorry, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 12:44:49 PM EDT
[#23]
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Quoted:
Divorced for four years, got into a "big fight" three months ago.....Sorry, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
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Link Posted: 8/13/2017 12:47:48 PM EDT
[#24]
Get lawyer.

Do not meet in person, especially anywhere that isn't a public place.

Get cheap body cam from Amazon in case she shows up where you are.

Keep all communication to documentable formats, like email. No phone calls. Try not to communicate period, unless through lawyer.

Based on my experience all advice will be ignored.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 12:47:58 PM EDT
[#25]
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Quoted:
How the fuck was she able to get a restraining order granted against someone thousands of miles away!!??
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She has a vagina and probably squeezed out some crocodile tears.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 12:49:04 PM EDT
[#26]
Yep.  Get lawyer.  Disprove the cunt.  Never speak with her again.  Block her number, get new e-mail.  If she does get through, hang up and document.  

You've been divorced for 4 years.  After my divorce, my ex contacted me once.  That's it.  Period.  If she tried to call again, I would not speak with her even though we parted on amicable terms.

Same with any of my exes (not marriages).  I want nothing to do with them.  Ever again.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 12:58:33 PM EDT
[#27]
No order is valid until you have been served. Once that happens you should give guns to someone else. Hire an attorney yesterday. Have absolutely zero contact with her. No phone. No email. If you see her run like hell the other way and don't stop until you're in the next zip code. 

If there is a valid order in place you will be arrested for violating a court order if you have contact with her even if she initiates it. 

Get your attorney to show up at the hearing on the order to dispute it. 
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:03:46 PM EDT
[#28]
Quoted:
First, yes once I get the order I will have lawyer and should easily get her lies recinded.

Long/short. Got in huge fight 3+ months ago, said mean things (no threats) then cut ALL contact. Happy 3 months:)

Cut to last week, she emailed me saying I am responsible for paying some bills ???? (Divorced 4 years)
I tell her nope, she gets upset and sends 2 more emails threatening suing me. I didn't reply.

2 days later, says she's getting restraining order using stuff I said 3 months ago plus a couple lies about me contacting her by phone recently and also that I have been stocking her despite her living all the way across the country.

Her emails clearly state she's upset that I'm not going to give her the money so I think this is  easily beatable in court. I hope.

However what happens when I first get the order? She stated that because we were married this is going to be some kind of domestic violence thing, there was no domestic violence in the relationship.  

Will this order affect me until I can get it voided?  Does it affect my guns until I can see the judge? I've looked online but I get two different answers.

Should I get a restraining order against her immediately?
View Quote


You've been "stocking her"?  Dude...what you do in the bedroom with stockings is your own business.

Seriously though...if you get served; serve the ball back into her court immediately.  Don't fuck around.

If it's good for the goose---good for the gander.  If she's out there making up lies on legal paperwork; it would only be
fair to visit your local magistrate, make similar claims and have her arrested for violating the protective order as well as trespassing,
threats to kill, etc.

I mean--good for the goose, good for the gander, right?   Being totally defensive will cost you nothing but money and your civil rights.
Level the playing field.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:09:07 PM EDT
[#29]
What does "stocking" her mean?

You pay her bills?  You buy her food?

WTF man.

It's the kid, isn't it?  She has you where she waits you and had to put on more pressure to keep you in line.

You are going to have to make some really tough emotional choices, OP.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:10:34 PM EDT
[#30]
There's a HUGE difference between a restraining order and a protective order. A protective order will cost you your guns as long as it stands. Protective orders generally require a hearing, restraining orders can be done with a letter to the court.

Get a lawyer, read the order, follow it to the 'T'.

Not a lawyer, but you should move to make the restraining order apply to both of you.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:14:28 PM EDT
[#31]
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Quoted:
In most states guns are a no no. You should cut contact with her except in writing and control your temper. Keep all dealings at a business level.  Also you need a good lawyer.
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If you CCW, thatll be revoked if the PO stands.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:14:37 PM EDT
[#32]
OP, why have you not filed for divorce before now? 

Grow up, lawyer up. 
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:17:53 PM EDT
[#33]
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Quoted:
OP, why have you not filed for divorce before now? 

Grow up, lawyer up. 
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Quoted:
OP, why have you not filed for divorce before now? 

Grow up, lawyer up. 
According to the OP, he is already divorced.

Cut to last week, she emailed me saying I am responsible for paying some bills ???? (Divorced 4 years)
This should have already been a distant memory.  I suspect his relationship with her child is the reason this is ongoing, but he hasn't said.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:21:23 PM EDT
[#34]
Stop all contact. if she obtains a domestic violence restraining order you will be prohibited from possessing (or owning) firearms and ammunition in most states. in my state you have 24 hours to surrender the guns to Law Enforcement or sell them to an FFL then must present proof to the court at your first hearing.

in states that allow face to face sales you have more options.

Do not go it alone. if served you need to lawyer up.  Good luck.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:22:35 PM EDT
[#35]
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Quoted:


No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot
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No kids? WTF! No contact, ever again, except though lawyers. Damn dude.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:23:03 PM EDT
[#36]
You need to get one against her after speaking to a lawyer
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:24:39 PM EDT
[#37]
Also get a audio recording app for your phone
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:28:08 PM EDT
[#38]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
How the fuck was she able to get a restraining order granted against someone thousands of miles away!!??
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People have things called email, telephones, text messaging and snail mail they use to threaten and harass. Restraining orders can prohibit all contact not just in person contact.

The biggest issue with restraining orders is they deprive you a a civil right immediately and BEFORE you have had a chance to defend yourself in court. No Ex parte hearing should result in the deprivation of a civil right. But that's the way the system works against men.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:30:39 PM EDT
[#39]
I'd like to hear her version of what's going on.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:31:26 PM EDT
[#40]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
shes bluffing/lying......
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
How the fuck was she able to get a restraining order granted against someone thousands of miles away!!??
shes bluffing/lying......
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:31:54 PM EDT
[#41]
... if you didn't harm her physically, get a good attorney - she may try to fuck your life up with lies, deceit and vagina
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:32:59 PM EDT
[#42]
What is this "stocking" thing, OP? The sheer kind, or the sock kind?
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:33:22 PM EDT
[#43]
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:34:08 PM EDT
[#44]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Here's what's actually going on:
Ex-wife is in need of money. Ex-wife is using a threat to extort money from OP.
To OP: Look, dummy, she's an EX-wife for a reason. Stop dicking around and put her in the rear view. There isn't a restraining order, nor is there going to be one. Please understand that for an "order of protection" to be issued there has to be a threat or a possibility of violence involved.
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with your name and address, and a willingness to lie, i could have a domestic violence restraining order against you by noon tomorrow. anyone can obtain a DV R/O against anyone ex parte.

I met cammobunker on grindr. I told him he wasn't my type but he won't stop showing up at my house and begging for the minivan. he rings the doorbell, knocks on the door and looks in my blinds. He shows up multiple times every day and often in the middle of the night. I'm unable to sleep because I'm afraid he will break in. He says he loves me and does want to live in a world without me. He left a copy of Romeo and Juliette on my doorstep and said the ending makes him think of us.

Judge: order granted.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:35:08 PM EDT
[#45]
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Quoted:
Also get a audio recording app for your phone
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Careful with that, AZ might be one party consent, but the state she resides in may not.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:36:05 PM EDT
[#46]
They came and took my buddy's guns, he got them all back, I think it took about a year if I remember correctly.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:36:05 PM EDT
[#47]
As other folks have noted there is a difference between an RO and a DVRO.  If she can prove the DVRO then the guns have to go.  But having just been through this regarding my GF's crazy ex, it's not as easy as some folks think.

The judge she worked with required evidence...  I know, shocking.  But her written statement was not enough for even a temporary RO (without any police reports, photographs, etc).  Believe it or not, judges are familiar with the concept of a crazy ex doing this to be vindictive and word of mouth is not enough; unless, I'm guessing, there is some pretty compelling statement.  And even then it will be a temporary RO pending evidence.  Fortunately she had plenty of evidence, most of which was supplied by her ex! (The photos and texts he would send her while he was stalking her, photos of her car in front of my house sent from his phone and so on.  And phone records corroborating that a picture was actually sent at such and such a time)  So it was pretty airtight.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:38:22 PM EDT
[#48]
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Quoted:
The judge didn't ask for some fucking proof........documentary evidence for god's sake!!??
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its not needed. your documentary evidence is the petitioners affidavit.

A chick got a restraining order against a guy who was showing up at her house a couple times a day knocking on the door, looking in the windows and asking for her boyfriend, who she said no longer lived there.





The guy was an on duty cop trying to serve an arrest warrant on her boyfriend. The judge issued the restraining order Ex parte and the cop couldn't possess a firearm or ammunition until the TRO hearing. a neighboring police agency even went to his parents house to collect "his" guns per the judgers orders of own or possess no firearms.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 1:49:23 PM EDT
[#49]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Lawyer up!    SOMEONE got into her ear and here comes the bullshit!
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Link Posted: 8/13/2017 2:18:12 PM EDT
[#50]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I bet we're only getting half the story here.......
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Not really, if I posted her emails here. The first two saying I owe her money and she's going to take me to court and she's going to make me pay  by using the insults I said three months ago against me.
The 3rd email was her saying whatever, forget about it, she's just not gonna deal with me anymore.
I'm guessing because I gave no response after emails two and three that made her really mad, leaving the fourth email, Her threats of a for sure protection order and lies about stuff I did not do to obviously "show" the court she's a victim.
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