Some of my favorites from working the counter next to the hood in no particular order:

"How many time it shoot?"

"You got dat nine that shoot Lil" "K" Bullets?"

"Can I axe you a question?"

"Ya'll got dat clip for dat Hi-Point?"

"Ya'll sell gunz?"

"Ya'll sell sell laser bullets?"


ETA:
I once asked a guy at a counter to see the "Galil AR".

He scratched his head and handed me an Olympic Plinkster

 
Wut?

What the fuck are lil k bullets?

Lil' Kim is apparently not only still alive, but has her own ammo manufacturing brand?

Lil K bullets?

If someone axed me for a clip for a High Point, I'd sell it to him. Usually I was axed for a clip for a nine millimeter.

I have a 9mm clip




I don't know if dey be lil k bullets tho

That was always in reference to FN 5.7 handguns.

Because you know, Dat 5.7 round look like little  "K" (AK) boolits.

And I've also been asked that like 800 bazillion times.

Eta: "Ya'll got dat clip for dat  tree eighty?"

"I needs Boolits for dis'"

And a cheap POS 6mm blank pistol is produced from the Bra..

That was awkward.
How do ya tell a gal, that her boyfriend gave her a blank pistol for protection, and he just testified against his supplier, to get less time in Jackson.

I've had this happen no less then four fimes.

EtA: I shit you not.

Another one

I was at academy looking at a 10/22 takedown, and some guy that looked like he crawled out of the hood, and asked to see "the cheapest fo-fie yew got", and the guy woking the counter hands him a beat up Taurus semi auto (adter checking his DL)


The banger looks it over for a second, and freaks out, saying "MAN, WATCHU GIMME DIS FOE? I ANT WANT NO HIGH END GAT, I WANT DA CHEAP ONE!"


he left and everyone burst out laughing

Fixed.


So, wey da choppas is? Gots one fo sale?

I would'be been right there, on the floor rolling with you guys!

Jamaican dude comes in looking for: "anything that busts mad hot shots of fire."

I asked a  sales droid behind the counter to see a "Henry AR-7".

Droid: "Henry doesn't make AR15s".
Me: "I didn't ask for an AR15"
Droid: "I told you, Henry does not make an AR15"
Me: "Is there a grown up around I can talk to"?
*THAT* really seemed to upset him. He had to be in his late 60s...
So another sales droid comes over...
Droid2: "Can I help you with something"?
Me: "Can I see a Henry AR-7"?
Droid2 "Sure, here ya go. Fun little guns. I have two of 'em"
Me: "Why couldn't the other droid do this"?
Droid2 "Aw, he's an old timer. If its not 'Remwinberg' he doesn't know what to do".

From Friday. Customer brings in their Ruger LC9. They say they just bought it, took it to the range and it won't work. Think I found the problem.






Had a guy during the .22 panic buy a bunch of .22 cal projectiles and was livid his 10/22 couldn't use them


Another guy talking about how he used a Kimber1911 in Nam as a tunnel rat. Wouldn't shut up about it so I just tuned him out. He actually ended up buying a Kimber, and while copying his drivers license down I noticed he was born in 1969. Must have been great in the tunnels being a child at the time.

There is this gigantic, morbidly obese guy who comes in all the time. If it was tier one he was it. He was telling me one day how he was at the range and. One of the local SWAT teams was having sniper practice with their 8 man sniper team while he was there, and how they all fell in love with his Salvage .338 Lapua, and were hitting rocks at 2200 yards standing "all day long". Soon as he left I texted my friend, who happens to be the sniper team leader for that department. He was really confused since they are just a 2 man sniper team.

We had shelves of Sierra, Hornady, Speer, and Barnes bullets behind the counter, right above the ammunition. People constantly asked for bullets for a thirty-oh-six and got mad at me when I asked them if they wanted bullets of loaded ammunition.

The ones who were the most assholish about it inevitably wanted loaded ammunition.

I literally just had these guys in an hour ago wanting something with banana clips for under $300




 

I don't have any idea what you are talking about.







"Ya'll got dem infa-red beamz?"

"Ya'll got dem street sweepers?"

This thread needs

Youz gots da clip fo my gat? its a nien, yo

Me: "OK, we have the caliber narrowed down, now what kind of firearm is it?"

Urban yute: "uhhhhhhhh...........Chrome."

Me:

This exact "conversation" has occurred countless times.

Gotsta give homeslice some credit.
He knows sooner or later, that she will find out about him banging' her friends, and giving her a loaded pistol, will just result in him getting capped.

Sorry, can't make this a tl:dr.

I'll just say I work at a chain sporting goods store that may have been mentioned already. Had a guy come in once. He seemed off....... I refused to sell him a gun because it didn't seem right. The manager made someone else sell him the gun. He bought a Remington 870 defense gun and I think it was a Ruger 10/22(or similar).

As he's filling out the paperwork, he gets to the adjudicated mentally defective question. He tells the other associate that he has been diagnosed as bipolar and wants to know how to answer the question. The other associate tells him that he can't tell him how to answer and he had to do it to the best of his ability on his own. Mind you, myself and the store manager and one other person are observing this. Do the guy answers no and passes the bg check. He buys the guns and leaves.

A month or two goes by and a woman comes in and I'm behind the counter with the same store manager from earlier. She's telling me how her husband had purchased a rifle and a shotgun from us without her knowing and she discovered that he had planned to shoot her with one and himself with another. They got in an argument and she threw a hammer at him. She shows me a receipt and starts asking questions about a handgun being purchased with them. After looking at the receipt, I tell her no, he had not purchased a handgun from us. She tells me he says he bought one and has it hidden in their house. After she left, I connected the dots.

Another few months goes by and we get a phone call from a lady asking about returning two guns that her husband had purchased to raffle off for charity. We have a no return policy but could make exceptions. I overhear the managers discussing it and the last name just sounds familiar. Then it hit me. She was trying to return the two guns he had purchased. Obviously we denied that return.