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9/23/2020 3:47:02 PM
Posted: 8/10/2004 12:38:48 PM EDT
Quantum Sleeper

Do you fear the outside world so much that you wish you could crawl back into your mommy's womb. If yes, then the Quantum Sleeper is for you. This bed folds up into a fire-resistant coffin-like box to keep bad people and bad things away.

The bullet proof polycarbonate barrier is designed to stop bullet penetration, blows from impact, forced entry and provide a sealed temporary safe room and environment from burglars, terrorist or harmful gasses and also provide protection from the destructive forces of tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes and floods. The unit can also be fitted with defensive devices customized to the requests of the purchasers such as tear gas spray, robotic arms, or projectile weaponry. It is designed to enable the person(s) inside the unit to see out and prevent those outside from seeing in.


Link Posted: 8/10/2004 12:39:58 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 12:40:37 PM EDT
I always knew coffins were safe...
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 12:41:09 PM EDT
wow.

crazy bastages
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 12:42:18 PM EDT
does it have a mini fridge for my beer?
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 12:43:55 PM EDT
I can't figure out if it's a joke or not!
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 12:48:10 PM EDT
Wow, just fuckin wow.
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 12:48:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SNorman:
I can't figure out if it's a joke or not!



Not a joke, I have seen this kinda thing.  (well this site might be a joke, but 'safe' beds are big int he home security thing right now).
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 12:50:03 PM EDT
Does it come with a tape recording that plays "Don't hurt me" "Don't hurt me" "Don't hurt me" "Don't hurt me" "Don't hurt me" "Don't hurt me" ?


Yikes.
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 12:54:34 PM EDT
It doesn't say anything about being Fire Resistant
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 12:55:54 PM EDT

Originally Posted By M10KEN:
It doesn't say anything about being Fire Resistant



They be fire resistant.  At least for a while.
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 12:57:58 PM EDT
According to the web site, the "estimated price" on the "quantum sleeper" is $160,000 "depending on features".  ROFLMAO!  $160K!
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 12:58:59 PM EDT
I just glanced at it, does it have a pisser or shitter? If not, just padlock the liberal pussies in there to rot in their own filth!
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 5:39:00 PM EDT

he 1.25” thick plating is constructed of laminated sheets and is capable of stopping a bullet from a hand gun up to a 57 magnum caliber. This material is impact resistance and will actually become harder in the strike area when struck by a hard object. This material has a tensile strength of 9,000 psi with a Specific Gravity of 1.2. The plates for the canopy and leg cover are fabricate as separate plates and then welded together to make one solid piece. The 1.25” plating weighs 8.1 lbs/ft 2 . The head cover plates total weight for a queen sized mattress is approximately 360lbs and the leg cover total weight is approximately 600lbs. Total weight of all the polycarbonate plastic plating to be used for a queen sized mattress is approximately 1658lbs.




I guess there's now a market for my 58magnum wildcat round!

With the weight of that overhead cover and the crappy leverag angles the actuators have, I'd guess you could stop it from opening with duct tape.
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 5:58:08 PM EDT
"Hey, you out there! Can you hear me?  Can we talk about this?  I understand your frustration and your need to strike out at someone you think has hurt you.  But I am not the one you should be mad at.  President Bush is to blame for your condition.  Are you listening?  Can you hear me out there?

"Let's talk calmly about this.  I am sure you are a reasonable person?  Is that water I hear running?  There is some bottled water in the fridge if you need to have a drink and calm down.  Listen, we are Kerry voters in here.  We know that you don't deserve the socio-economic mess you are in.  The tax cuts hurt you, didn't they?  Well, we were against them, and the illegal war in Iraq................That sounds like a drill...............Are you drilling on something?

"Now we would like to come out and discuss this.  I am sure we can come to an agreement.  I have some money I can give you so you can get back on your feet.  If you want us to come out and talk just knock on the lid of our bed and we will come out.............Okay!  Okay!  Here we come."

"Oh, I see you have been in the kitchen.  Would you please put those knives down?  Did I mention that I think that the War on Drugs is a terrible assault on your personal liberties and especially on you people of color?  Uh, don't do that....Stop!  Did I tell you how bad we felt about Ray Charles dying and not getting noticed because of President Reagan?  

"OUCH!  STOP!  AAAUUUGGHHH!"
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 6:44:34 PM EDT
Mount an engine, a pair of tracks, and an M-60 on it and it might work!
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 6:48:47 PM EDT
..........and it comes with a 800 # straight to 'BIG BROTHER'.              
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 6:49:21 PM EDT
Pathetic!! I'd drill a hole in it cause it's easy to drill thru polycarb and fill it with a mixture of oxygen and methane and light the thing up to see if it can contain a explosion.
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 6:49:28 PM EDT
Make it airtight and OUR problems are solved.
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 6:51:24 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Phil_in_Seattle:

he 1.25” thick plating is constructed of laminated sheets and is capable of stopping a bullet from a hand gun up to a 57 magnum caliber. This material is impact resistance and will actually become harder in the strike area when struck by a hard object. This material has a tensile strength of 9,000 psi with a Specific Gravity of 1.2. The plates for the canopy and leg cover are fabricate as separate plates and then welded together to make one solid piece. The 1.25” plating weighs 8.1 lbs/ft 2 . The head cover plates total weight for a queen sized mattress is approximately 360lbs and the leg cover total weight is approximately 600lbs. Total weight of all the polycarbonate plastic plating to be used for a queen sized mattress is approximately 1658lbs.




I guess there's now a market for my 58magnum wildcat round!

With the weight of that overhead cover and the crappy leverag angles the actuators have, I'd guess you could stop it from opening with duct tape.



Heheh I was thinking along the same lines.  I guess it could double as your coffin.
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 6:57:14 PM EDT
Not a good place to be in, if you suddenly discover you're claustrophobic!
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 6:57:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SNorman:

Originally Posted By Phil_in_Seattle:

he 1.25” thick plating is constructed of laminated sheets and is capable of stopping a bullet from a hand gun up to a 57 magnum caliber. This material is impact resistance and will actually become harder in the strike area when struck by a hard object. This material has a tensile strength of 9,000 psi with a Specific Gravity of 1.2. The plates for the canopy and leg cover are fabricate as separate plates and then welded together to make one solid piece. The 1.25” plating weighs 8.1 lbs/ft 2 . The head cover plates total weight for a queen sized mattress is approximately 360lbs and the leg cover total weight is approximately 600lbs. Total weight of all the polycarbonate plastic plating to be used for a queen sized mattress is approximately 1658lbs.




I guess there's now a market for my 58magnum wildcat round!

With the weight of that overhead cover and the crappy leverag angles the actuators have, I'd guess you could stop it from opening with duct tape.



Heheh I was thinking along the same lines.  I guess it could double as your coffin.



With enough duct tape you can do anything.
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 7:02:22 PM EDT
Ya know, the cops in Colorado got into a concrete & steel armored bulldozer without a problem.
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 7:08:37 PM EDT

Originally Posted By captainpooby:
Make it airtight and OUR problems are solved.



From the way the add describes it, it IS airtight.


The bullet proof polycarbonate barrier is designed to stop bullet penetration, blows from impact, forced entry and provide a sealed temporary safe room and environment from burglars, terrorist or harmful gasses and also provide protection from the destructive forces of tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes and floods. The unit can also be fitted with defensive devices customized to the requests of the purchasers such as tear gas spray, robotic arms, or projectile weaponry. It is designed to enable the person(s) inside the unit to see out and prevent those outside from seeing in.
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 7:14:54 PM EDT
I'll pass. I tend to get leg cramps when I stretch my legs hard in my sleep.
Link Posted: 8/10/2004 7:33:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By twonami:
Pathetic!! I'd drill a hole in it cause it's easy to drill thru polycarb and fill it with a mixture of oxygen and acetylene and light the thing up to see if it can contain a explosion.

 

fixed it for ya


I wonder if that bed comes with the magic fingers and velvet hand/leg restraints option



Link Posted: 8/10/2004 7:33:37 PM EDT

Originally Posted By CS223:
Ya know, the cops in Colorado got into a concrete & steel armored bulldozer without a problem.



Uhhh, yeah, after it had flattened half the town....
Link Posted: 8/11/2004 12:19:12 AM EDT
If I had the cash I might buy one.


Then again, my 'custom defensive devices' would probably involve Class III firearms and grazing fire, so take that for what it's worth.
Link Posted: 8/11/2004 12:24:24 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/11/2004 12:29:37 AM EDT by Skammy]

Originally Posted By jtb33:
According to the web site, the "estimated price" on the "quantum sleeper" is $160,000 "depending on features".  ROFLMAO!  $160K!



Uh, dont you think you could just make a safe room for that price?..

The part about the hurricane is funny don't forget to bolt it down!
Link Posted: 8/11/2004 12:24:54 AM EDT
For that it should block out unwelcome light, along with the sound from the phone and jehovia witnesses at your door.
Link Posted: 8/11/2004 12:45:16 AM EDT
Whats to stop someone from just stealing the whole thing while the guy is in it?
Link Posted: 8/11/2004 1:04:55 AM EDT
Just be sure not to eat any bean burritos, broccoli or drink very much beer before sealing yourself in.
Link Posted: 8/11/2004 1:10:32 AM EDT
That will never sell!!!   There isn't enough room inside to "DO IT" while you wait out the misfortunate turn of events!
Link Posted: 8/11/2004 1:43:22 AM EDT
Duct tape, sheet of plastic, vaccuum cleaner. Threat from home owner eliminated.
Link Posted: 8/11/2004 1:52:37 AM EDT

Originally Posted By GC456:
That will never sell!!!   There isn't enough room inside to "DO IT" while you wait out the misfortunate turn of events!


is 'misfortunate' even a word?
Link Posted: 8/11/2004 2:44:29 AM EDT
I can't wait to see the news report about the fire department having to rescue a couple locked in their beds! Or better yet the tragic death of someone who somehow doesn't get enough air and suffocates in one of those things. Brings new light to the term "curl up and die."
Link Posted: 8/11/2004 4:10:45 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/11/2004 4:12:21 AM EDT by rbielak]

Originally Posted By 1Andy2:

Originally Posted By GC456:
That will never sell!!!   There isn't enough room inside to "DO IT" while you wait out the misfortunate turn of events!


is 'misfortunate' even a word?


Yes, it is.

BTW: we all need to write this asshat jwalling@qsleeper.com and tell him what a vag moron he is for selling this crap ...
Link Posted: 8/11/2004 4:15:54 AM EDT
Fireproof... HA!!

Some poor bastard trapped in that thing would sit there and slowly roast like a Thanksgiving turkey.
Link Posted: 8/11/2004 4:16:33 AM EDT
Where the slot for the quater to put in for the "Magic Fingers"?
Link Posted: 8/11/2004 5:05:59 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Skammy:

Originally Posted By jtb33:
According to the web site, the "estimated price" on the "quantum sleeper" is $160,000 "depending on features".  ROFLMAO!  $160K!



Uh, dont you think you could just make a safe room for that price?..

The part about the hurricane is funny don't forget to bolt it down!



A 'good' (read adequate, not overly comfortable) safe room starts at about 750k.
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