I wouldn't worry too much about the muzzlebrake. Granted, some of them are loud, but you should be wearing protection for your ears (and eyes) regardless. The brake just redirects the noise, it doesn't actually make it any louder. And if for some reason you did have to fire it under emergency conditions without hearing protection, noise will be the last of your worries anyhow. With that said a brake protects the crown, keeps the barrel level when firing and just makes the rifle look 10 times better than with a bare muzzle.
If I were to buy an AR type carbine right now (and I am scrounging up for one slowly), my first choice would probably be a Rock River Arms M4. These seem well put together and in my opinion they are the best looking (postban) M4 on the market. I want the flat top and would really love to have an aimpoint red dot sitting on top of it. These do have a muzzlebrake but it is a great looking one and would probably not be too loud. Personally, if it isn't a Bushmaster brake, I don't find them too loud anyway.
Something else you might look at is the DPMS line of carbines. They have a Lo-Pro and Hi-Pro carbine as well as a CAR type rifle that uses A1 style sights and has a bare muzzle. For a 16" barreled carbine, I really don't see a need for adjustable sights that extend out to 800 meters anyway. Just doesn't make much sense. One of these might be what you are looking for. DPMS has a website. I am sorry I can't think of the URL off the top of my head, but do a search for it and you will probably find it easy. It may just simply be www.dpms.com...but I can't say for sure.
Anyway good luck and let us know what you settle on for yourself.....I mean your wife! LOL.