Posted: 5/20/2002 1:06:51 PM EST
Over the weekend, I was downstairs and heard my wife hollar down the stairs,..."what the hell is all this?!" I go upstairs and she is looking at stacks of brown tubs and green crates
(10k+ rounds) of 223 stacked in my closet. I explained one can ever have too much ammo and that I buy it when I find a good bargain just like she does when she goes shopping. To her credit, my wife could care less what I spend on my guns , ammo etc but she thinks I'm having some kind of crisis. Anybody have any good comebacks to explain the stash?
Tell her "Get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!!"
"I was going to suprise you!"
No. Wait. That may be misconstrued.
Ask her to explain her shoe, make-up, tampon collection and you will gladly explain the ammo.
oh man, i'm rollin' on the floor.
My wife asked me once how come I have so much ammo. I told her it wouldn't last the weekend shooting and I'll probably have to get more. It was the truth. Of course I don't have anything close to Birdys 10k rounds.
The hard part for me is explaining why I keep loading up my truck with the same black rifle.
Tell her the truth. You have it for several reasons.
You buy it in bulk when the price is right.
What you have will last five years or less(?).
If they restrict purchasing or place a tax on ammo, you're stocked up for a while.
If Night of the Living Dead comes to your neighborhood, you're prepared.
My wife is usually bugging me to get more ammo. I just look at her and say "If you say so, babe". On the other hand, if I had ten cases stashed, she would probably think that was enough.
i am approaching 10k........
but my wife says do WE have enuff yet ??
Yeah that's it! *Wide eyed* Oh that stuff? I bought THAT a long time ago!
How about "That's a bunch of tree-hugging hippie crap!"
Use the Jedi mind trick.
There is no ammuniton here....
Thats not a new gun....
You want to bake cookies it that outfit from Victoria's Secret....
You like porn....
If it is yours, tell her, "It's mine...like the cars, the houses, the boats, the lake homes, and every other damn thing around here!".
That is, unless it's not, or you're riding the gravy train and she is supporting you. In that case, break out the "OJ is Okay" T-shirt and ask her, "What did you say?".
tell her that you have "big plans" and then mumble something about "filthy space aliens" as you slowly back away.
then start sleeping on the roof with your rifle and a bunch of ammo boxes and 7 boxes of lucky charms.
this should allay any concerns she might have.
No need to explain, just trade her in for more ammo!
My Mom-outlaw asked me that once, and I replied there are two things that a man cannot ever get too much of, and ammo is one of them. She asked what was the other. I told her, and she never said anything about my firearms or ammo again.
I always explain ANYTHING gun related like this....
Today you buy a pair of shoes for $100.00. Tonite they are worth $5.00. Loss=$95.00
Today I bought a _ _ _ _ _ for XXX.XX. Tommorrow it will be worth XXX.XX + 10%. I can NEVER lose money UNLESS I wait to buy whatever it is. No Loss, ONLY gain!
This only works IF she understands deductive logic and reasoning...
Damn, I must not have enough ammo, my wife hasn't noticed and it takes up one whole corner of the basement.
Tell her that you were going to go to the titty bar but decided to buy some ammo instead.
When she found out that I only had a few thousand rounds after 9-11, my wife made me buy more ammo.
I guess they can't all have that country girl practical streak.
You mentioned brown tubs. I hope it's the good South african military .223. That stuff is the bomb! We had about 59,000 rounds in stock on Friday when I left work, and when I went in today we had 4-5 2700 round tubs left. That stuff works great, especially in our machineguns. I wish I had the extra $$ to stash some away.
My wife suggests that you tell her they were "buy one, get one free". The price is not important, it's the free one!
The stock reply always works (usually heard emenating from a female)...
What?, That?.. I ve had that for "X" years, you remember me moving it from the _______ the last time we ______. You don't? Well I'm certain that you should, I'm almost positive you were there. You weren't? Well I was, and I've had it that long. Say did you hear what happened to the kids today? etc.
My wife says we don't have enough guns or ammo for them. Eat your heart out boys! . Actually, today while we were driving to meet her mother for lunch, she said "I'm really glad your back into the gun thing again. I was getting worried you'd be spending all our money on your car."
God Bless Texas
My wife does not complain about an ammo purchase. She usually asks (when seeing a new case) Did you just get that? I tell her the truth and say....yes.
She is now wanting me to get her an AR. So, I am going to...that just gives me another reason to buy more ammo!
"My love. It is my responsibility to care for and watch over this family. In a time of crisis like this- a time of terrorism, the threat of nuclear attacks (of both the fusion and fallout variety) and economic hardship that means assuming the possibility of the worst. I suppose other alpha males might not consider ammunition stores a proper exercise in protection for their family. Personally, I can't imagine sacrificing ANY provision of preparedness- no matter what the cost!- to keep you safe. That's why I have been FORCED to stockpile all this ammunition. I hoped not to have to have you discover the lengths to which I have gone to secure the safety of this family. I had hoped not to alert you to the severity of my concern- I certainly didn't want to worry you. *deep sigh* I can move it all if it upsets you...?"
Huh(scratching your head), I wondered where I put that 10000 rounds. I bought that along time ago and was wondering about it the other day. Thanks for finding that for me
My wife encourages me to buy ammo and guns. Today I was at Sportsmans Warehouse and my wife saw the 9-11 engraved 10-22 and said, "Honey, you should buy one of these". I would have taken her up on it if I didnt have a Mil-Spec Operator 1911, and Rem700 Sendero on layaway. Then to the bushmaster varminter caught my eye. Ohhh yeah and I have the AR-50 savings going to
that was an artfully wrytten, well thot out note..., plus being one of the greatest lines of bullshyt i ever read.., but it is rather convincing !!!!!!
Naturally the best answer to dealing with a female comes from a female. That was great tatjana. That's the route I would go!
Tell her that you are either going to have a girlfriend or a stash of ammo, and she can pick which one.
Doesn't sound like you have enough ammo yet to worry about explaining it.
When your wife asks you to move the ammo stash so that she can vacuum the living room, then you might need to worry.
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