Forget kits and lowers - start with the barrel.
The barrel is the single most important component and will determine how well your rifle shoots and functions. It also has more to do with handling and balance than anything else.
For your first build I [b]strongly[/b] recommend a chrome-lined barrel from either Colt or Bushmaster. Otherwise when you're done, you may end up spending a lot more time trying to get it to work than you do shooting it. Also, buying the bolt at the same time from the same place as the barrel will save you some grief. Forget H-BARs, they're just to damn nose heavy. I'm partial to M4geries because I shoot just as well with a 14.5" and a 20", and I like the way they handle.
After that, it really doesn't matter. Upper, lower, buffer tube, hammer, selector, pins springs, who cares? It's all just parts. And they're easily replaced. But start out with a funky barrel and your AR will [b]never[/b] work right.