(oops, wrong forum - meant to post in General Discussion)
27 October 2002
An expert at the Washington DC based Vagina Policy Center For Possible Prostitution (VPC-FPP) has found proof that females working for the Violence Policy Center, are predominant gun-control propaganda group, could [bold] potentially [/bold] involve themselves some time in the future in Prostitution. Experts have found a link between prostitutes and the women of the VPC - that link is that they have the same anatomical equipment known to be used in such crimes as prostitution and other deviant sexual behavior: The easily concealable VAGINA, and the more deadly, DOUBLE HOOTERS (sometimes referred to as breasts.) Uncontrolled by laws and the government, these two items are nothing more than ticking timebombs waiting to go off. Remember men, every Vagina and every set of big (or small) tits "ARE AIMED AT YOU!"
Yes the female form is capable of seducing men to just about ANYTHING!!! Men have no resistance from this possible deadly hazard. Though no known photographs of Naomi Seligman, VPC spokesperson and employee, are available, experts have determined that her unlicensed and unlocked Vagina and not one but TWO breasts could entice & seduce the most vulnerable sexually interested males, teenage boys. The expert suggests that laws must be passed immediately to ensure the safety of male children from these possible female seductresses. It's a proven fact that women are 100% more likely than men to become pregnant out of wedlock thus contributing to the social decay of our utopian society. With easy access to the female form any horny male could become a victim or even a possible attacker. By locking up these "Saturday-Night Funzones", we could make a huge dent in the problems associated with male/female contact; among them VD, AIDS, Unplanned Pregnancy, Abortion, etc. The CDC (Center for Disease Control) has yet to comment on the subject but facts are facts: What do men want to get their hands on, yes Vaginas and Breasts. Right now their are literally millions of these on the streets right now and disaster is waiting to happen at any moment unless something is done.
Experts recommend that registration of females become mandatory in all 50 states. Safety chastity belts should immediately be placed on all females. Married men would have the only key to unlock their spouse thus preventing such horrible crimes as rape and adultery. Government would hold keys to all other females until said time they are legally married and have passed a Govt-approved safety and security test to prevent any accidental discharge and penetration by the male anatomy.
Experts and Opponents due agree however that a mandatory waiting period, prior to removing the Government approved Female Safety Lock (FSL)would be redundant anyway since most studies find women rarely put out until at least 14 days after meeting a male (except in the case of Prostitution.)
We urge all Americans, and women especially, LOCK UP YOUR VAGINAS!!!
This Parody is brought to you by the 1st Amendment of the United States Constitution which is included in the Bill of Rights. At least I'll tell you that I'm lying as opposed to the VPC who lies and says their "statistics" are facts. For more lies visit the VPC website at: http://www.vpc.org/