"I heard on the radio that there is a shelter set up in (insert name of town at least 20 miles away) and they have food, water and shelter. I'm out of food also but I'm leaving for there as soon as my son arrives back home"

It's a lot like the POS co worker that is always trying to borrow money from you. You just KNOW when you see them they are going to hit you up for $20. So the minute you see them you ask THEM to borrow a few dollars...

Hand painted sign by the gate "will trade firewood for food" next to a measely looking pile of firewood.

Deter as much as possible as first effort. Can't cap everyone you see....

You can do a helluva lot with a good printer, including those official flyers talking about that shelter setup, that you leave out in strategic places.

Yes.

It's always come down to distance as part of your defense for numerous reasons, some more obvious than others.

Physical barriers i.e, the fence, locked gate, etc. as well as everything  being posted.

There is ALWAYS the possibility that "law and order" will return at some point. You could very well be having to justify your actions to a court.

It's not the BS fantasy of shooting them and hanging them off telephone poles with "looters must die" signs on them. What sounds better in court if that did play out- "he walked right up to my house and I shot him in the face" or "Your honor he ignored the no trespassing signs everywhere, he cut the barbed wire, he climbed over my outer fence, he hurt one of my dogs, climbed over my other fence and then approached my house with a weapon."

What if you found out later it's one of the kids of a clan just a few miles away? Congrats you just started a mini war.

I submit that this is a fine line and needs some creative out of the box thinking, far past the rambo shoot all comers answer.

I'm basically in this boat.

Some thoughts on charity in a bad situation-

I wonder how many people that say they will help others in a bad situation are actually helping others NOW? Don't get butthurt and freak out, just think about it.
We worked with a homeless mission for several years, I enjoyed the hell out of it. We made and served food, distributed clothes, all that normal stuff. We purchased a ton of sleeping bags for most of these same folks as well. We got the "feel" of hundreds of homeless. Some were truly homeless, some were clearly cheap asses that showed up for a free meal  and some new clothes. A small percent, literally less than 20% were genuinely thankful. About 30% were what I would consider hostile, the other 50% couldn't give a damn. It was nothing for some to demand more food than others, 2 more jackets, etc. This is human nature folks, we are a fallen creature and despite all the secular humanist liberal drivel that man is inherently good, the truth is completely opposite that and that's proven out daily.

That last point is what I think a lot of these well meaning folks that "plan" to give charity in the PAW don't truly understand. And once the door is cracked open (giving a little bit) a bit on this sort of thing, the flood gates are open.

So, charity at your front door- terrible idea. Always has been, always will be. No OPSEC, security very tough when you truly look at it past the "I got a gun I haven't trained with in 10 years" Rambo fantasies.

How COULD you do this safely?

I covered some out of the box ideas about this on my radio show back in the 90's.  These include just simple things like leaving some food behind the nearest church in the middle of the night (you really don't want it traced back to you if your really concerned for security). Then the discussion goes like this-

"Hey man can you help me out with some food"
"I got nothing, I'll tell you where I go though, I've been going to Pine Hill Church, I've been getting food from there, they are good people, armed to the teeth but good people. Don't try to pull anything there, but they will help you, they helped me."

Again, bringing the subject back to 1. Them going somewhere else. 2. You ain't got nothing for them. 3. Your still "helping" them versus a flat out refusal which just becomes a justification to "we will get that $ucker back."  If your not woke up to the fact that's how people think, then all the more reason not to try to be the post apoc salvation army....

I agree, great post!!