Missouri definitely has humidity during the summer and so does Kentucky. It sounds like the desert would suit better if you are trying to avoid humidity.

Our farm is up north of Fort Leonard Wood, not too far from Lake of the Ozarks. I love it here but I will say it gets a little humid in the summer. Plenty of hills and deer.

We have some friends that retired in eastern Oklahoma, beautiful place on a lake. Not at all what I thought of when I heard Oklahoma, there are even some hills. I'm not going to try and steer you clear of MO but that might be somewhere to look as well. Hasn't ever been too humid when I'm visiting and it's a little closer to TX.

And then there is AR. I've only visited a few times and drove through a small part of it but I'd like to see more of it. Seemed like some really pretty areas with more of the hilly (maybe even mountains) terrain down south there.

I grew up in AK so I may be biased about the heat and humidity. We'll see what the other have to say.

We have a lot of humidity. Deer hunting is good though!

Wife and I are from Nebraska but we get to the Table Rock lake area a couple times a year; spring and summer normally with a fall trip every now and then.
We think NE is humid until we get to MO; then we know what humidity really is.

With that said we LOVE the Ozarks area of MO!!

LOVE Missouri, as my wife and I escaped Ill-noise about nine months ago. BUT like Ill-noise...it is HUMID! Missouri's Conservation Areas are top notch with many of them having gun ranges also with great hunting and fishing opportunities and beautiful hills and hollers.

Yeah, you're not escaping any humidity in MO or KY, and if you move to TX, it's flat unless you live on the east side of the state, where, once again, it's humid.

You're going to need a concession on one of your requirements.

*ETA*, as long as you stay out of KC, MO or STL, MO, there's not many liberals...

You can't avoid the heat and humidity during summer.  I live in the SW part of the state and it is beautiful, with lots of recreation opportunities.  Northwest Arkansas and Eastern Oklahoma are beautiful too.
Anywhere south of Interstate 44 (and a good chunk of anything South of Hwy 50) should have lots of hills and woods.  As mentioned, Missouri's conservation areas are top notch.

I love that area, and have been going there since the 60s. If you can't get that house you want, I hope you find another that you like just as well. (If you go that way).

Deer hunting is great, and even better than that in some areas. However, you will not escape the humidity (and lots of it), and we still get out fair share of tornadoes as well.

South central Missouri would be my pick, but if you head a little further south, land is a little cheaper in NW Arkansas. Also, more hills and outdoor stuff to do in general. There are some active long range shooting clubs in the area too....... if you find yourself down there, stop by a store in Cabool, MO. Excellent small town USA reloading store.

As far as lake houses........ stand by for some fire sales from people losing money due to the Kung Flu.

KC is the best side of the state. That is all

I love table rock, the only issues I could see you having is Branson is a tourist trap essentially. Lots of out of towners in the summer months.

The humidity is an issue. You can see it like a haze hovering over downtown on really bad days.

Tornados happen. Not like OK or that God awful state Kansas , but we get them.

Hunting is ok in that area, we are about to open an Elk season and a Black Bear season!

KC is best side
CWFO goes on right in the middle.
Basement, cellar, or tornado safe, and you should be good.
Good luck, there probably will be some deals to be had.


Our sincerest condolences, truly sorry for your loss.

Unfortunitly Ed, Missouri is nothing but humid in summer and we do get our fair share of tornadoes. Some areas are tornado hot spots like Joplin, Springfield, Carthridge, and areas just north of Kansas City.

If you want to stay a bit cooler, I'd look somewhere near lake areas where the water helps give a tendency to cool the air some, like Warsaw, Clinton, or Table Rock.

You'll find some hills, some mountain cliffs, but also some of the best fishing and hunting in the region on conservation lands.

Men with good taste move to missouri.

I’ve live in both MO and KY. I thought 100% humidity was just a joke until I moved to KY. No.  It is not.  Missouri can be tough some days but KY was down right sweltering.

I’ve lived in just about every part of MO and have enjoyed it all. Check out the Rolla/Salem area and the SW portion of the state. Seems like they’d be the best fits for your criteria.

I think you'll like Missouri. I moved here from Hellinois about a year ago

FYI, Lake of the Ozarks is starting to resemble Miami Vice with lots of big cigarette boats and 70 foot cabin cruisers. Don't buy a house on the main channel, the waves/wakes will destroy your dock in short order. Buy in a deep cove instead. Probably applies for any big lake in the state honestly. Mile Markers 0-35 (out of 92 miles) is the busy part of the lake with lots of big boat traffic. I wouldn't recommend a jet ski from MM 0-15.

You don't want to try and go out on the roads during Memorial Day, 4th of July, or Labor Day due to the insane number of trailered boats and campers on the roads. Lots of people find out the expensive way that the police are eagle eyed and know that one's boat is wider than 8ft 6 inches too.

Another issue with LOZ is that no lighting for driving is allowed on boats after dark.
None! Not even a handheld spotlight.
Blew my mind when I heard about this law after a church friend who had been a lake resident for 15+ years crashed his cigarette boat into a cliff and died in foggy conditions one night. (Personally I think if you can afford a $100,000+ boat, a PVS-14 night vision device would be a no brainer).

And if a house temps you on LoZ, remember that Ameren MO power company owns up to the 665 ft water line(cause its their lake to run the hydro-electric dam). So your boat dock isn't really on your property.

Roads in the Ozarks are not in a grid pattern and look more like the human body's circulatory system. Wide road shoulders to change a tire are a luxury in some areas.

Humidity is an issue with all the trees. I always add 10% to the forecasted/displayed humidity numbers because its always from a weather station at an airport out in the open. But then again, I'm surrounded by trees, and the breeze doesn't blow through my place.

As a New Yorker, realize that venomous snakes live in Missouri (Timber Rattlers and Copperheads) and you need to be vigilant when working outside. Ticks, I'm sure your familiar with.

Great gun laws, probably the best in the several states I've lived in. Night and day different from IL.

I'm a shitty salesman, but always give it straight.

My condolences for your loss.

The posters above pretty much covered it.  Per your criteria, stay away from KC, STL and Columbia to stay away from people.  For hills and rough terrain, south of 44 is best, south of 50 is good, south of 70 ain't bad.  For deer, generally, the biggest bucks are north of 70 in the flat crop ground, but there are good numbers across the state.  

Make a visit in July to see what your wife thinks of the humidity.  It gets humid as hell.  I'm used to it, but there is usually a week or two per summer that it borders on unbearable.  Tornadoes are a possibility, but I'd say that's the case anywhere from TX to OH.

Good luck with your search, and my condolences for your loss.

ETA: Been in Central MO my entire life and I love it here.

Wow a real ARFCOM Celebrity checking in on Missouri!!!

-summer gets stupid humid
-tornadoes primarily on the western side of the state (closer to Kansas)
-plenty of contour (non-flat terrain) throughout the southern half of the state.
-plenty of deer hunting/wildlife throughout the state.  Monster bucks are more up central/north I'd say.
-great fishing throughout the state.

Relatively low cost of living and great gun laws.  

Hit us up with any other questions. Good luck

Now you're talking my language. I love snakes!

Any state below Mason-Dixon line basically  is gonna have "hot" snakes if she brings up the topic again. My neighbor caught 2 copperheads in his metal pole barn yesterday  under a sheet of plywood, braided longways together "in flagrante delicto". 1 shovel = 2 dead snakes. Easy peasy.

Be aware that when *most* people see a snake near water they say it's a Cottonmouth/Water Moccassin (two names for the same snake), and anywhere else it's a Copperhead. Color/shape/size/facts rarely figure into it.

(Not aimed at the above post; just general info).

I was changing a starter on a pickup last week and had a small one moving along the driveway while I was laying on my back under the truck!

Snakes are protected in Missouri.....MDC is a good source for info if you want specifics on species.

Lay of the land . . . I'm going to assume we're not talking Kansas City or St. Louis

Southern Missouri is the Ozarks (with a bit of prairie nibbling in on the southwest side). The Ozarks are hilly, wooded and rugged. It's full of rednecks, hillbillies, meth heads, ex-hippies, timber men, ticks, chiggers, dope growers and lots of other good folks. Hunting opportunities abound. A huge section of southern Missouri has been gobbled up by the National Forest because the land was overcut and near worthless 100 years ago. It's mostly all grown back now and provides some of the densest most remote woods you can find in the central United States. There are also a bunch of clear-running, spring-fed streams and "floating" attracts huge numbers of tourists (mostly on weekends). Generally, people in the Ozarks are poor and struggle to get by. You see a bunch of run down houses and trailers with junk cars in the "yard." It's not all like that, but there's a lot that is. If that doesn't appeal to you, look elsewhere. The last thing the Ozarks needs is somebody coming in from out of state to tell them how things should be done. It's also the Bible Belt and folks take religion pretty seriously.

In Southern Missouri, the major pockets of civilization are Springfield, Rolla, West Plains, Poplar Bluff, Cape Girardeau and to a lesser extent Farmington/Fredericktown and Lebanan. There's a large military base near Waynesville. These are the places where you're likely to find a hospital that can address your wife's health care needs. Otherwise, many counties lack for medical clinics, much less hospitals.

For easy access to Texas, the Springfield area may be your best bet. You can be as rural as you want, or live in the big city. Good health care. An airport. Right on the Interstate and on the way to Texas. Joplin would be closer to Texas but the land around it is not nearly as interesting.

The Lakes -- Missouri is home to several large tourism lakes, the most famous being the Lake of the Ozarks (the Netflix TV series was not actually filmed here.) THere are other large lakes around Warsaw and . . . drum roll . . . BRANSON. We get shit tons of retirees in these areas. "The Lake" (of the Ozarks) and Branson offer all the shopping and restaurants you can stand. Decent health care available in both places (by the way, you might also want to look at Bella Vista/Bentonville Arkansas). . .  .All kidding aside, you might take a serious look at the Branson area. There's lots of really rugged land nearby, but Springfield is only 40 minutes away, you'd never lack for entertainment and you'd be well on your way to Texas. You can't hardly find a drink there, though, so there's that, too . . .

The Bootheel is delta country, more like Mississippi than Missouri really. Folks down there associate themselves with Arkansas or Memphis as much as any place in Missouri. That's probably not what you're thinking of.

North Missouri is rolling hills. Pasture ground mostly, with some row cropping. Some folks find it boring but it has its charms. Not a lot of bigger towns -- Macon, Kirksville, Hannibal, Chillicothe -- you'd have Walmart and that's about it. Most folks end up driving quite a ways to get to serious health care.

Central Missouri -- specifically Columbia ( but also Jefferson City and to a lesser extent Fulton and Boonville)  -- offer lots of modern amenities, with very good hospitals in Columbia and OK ones in Jeff. If you want more of a city feel with lots of entertainment options, Columbia would be good to look at. College town with strong college sports programs. There's an airport, but most folks drive two hours to either KC or St. Louis to catch a flight. ETA: Central MO has some strategic advantages. Interstate 70 provides lots of get-gone access. As the dividing line between Ozarks to the south and the glaciated plains to the north there's quite a diversity of land. There are hidden pockets in the Kingdom of Callaway where you get really lost. Just a <hour hop to the Lake of the Ozarks.

Politics are strictly divided between the cities and the rest of the state. All of the Democrats (except for a few ex hippies back in the woods) live in Kansas City, St. Louis and Columbia. The rural areas are Trump country and unquestionably so. Coincidentally, all of the "culture" is in the cities, too. If you want museums, theaters, etc. you've got to go to town (well, Branson . . . ) Springfield also has a pretty strong left-leaning community but they're generally overpowered by the Bible beaters.
ETA: State Government (Capital is Jefferson City) is super majority Republican. About 40 percent of the state budget goes to social services, primarily Medicaid. We're one of like 9 states that have not expanded Medicaid. Taxes are low, but we do have local personal property taxes. Sales taxes run 7-8 percent in most communities. We pay 1/10 of 1 percent sales tax toward conservation and another 1/10 of one percent for state parks. It shows, those two departments are always flush with cash. Everything else in state government scrapes by.

WEATHER in a word, SUCKS. We have two weeks of spring, two weeks of fall and the rest can be either dreary or miserable. We don't get a lot of snow and what snow we get doesn't last. It does it cold and stay cold, though. Ice happens. Summers are brutal. Hot. Humid. Persistent. Summers suck. The ticks are fierce. Did I mention that summer sucks?

Hunting and fishing? You'd be hard pressed to find any better anywhere. Our Conservation Department is one of the best in the nation (despite what the poachers say). ETA: Deer, turkey most popular. Small game (rabbit, squirrel), Some bird hunting mostly in the north part of the state, Waterfowl (Missouri is along the flyway), Coyote and other predators . . . Stuff you can kill in Missouri: https://huntfish.mdc.mo.gov/hunting-trapping/species Lots of fishing opportunities. We have big lakes and small streams, farm ponds. Big rivers (hardly get used at all), trout fishing in southern MO . . . Stuff that swims . . . that you're allowed to get: https://huntfish.mdc.mo.gov/fishing/species

We, essentially, have no gun laws other than federal law. We issue CCW permits but you can carry most places without a permit. No waiting periods or permits to purchase. No assault weapon bans or magazine limits. Machine guns and suppressors are fine if you pay the feds their tax. Castle doctrine. The RKBA is specifically enshrined as an inalienable right in the state constitution. Home of Midway USA, Bass Pro Shops, Sierra Bullets and probably a few others.

ETA: Did I mention wine? As a New Yorker, you might be surprised to learn that we produce some decent wine here. Really . . . No, really . . . Lots of cool wineries, some with fascinating pre-prohibition history, too. Little Germany along the Missouri. Norton is a thing: https://missouriwine.org/

ETA: Finally, I used to drive to Dallas fairly regularly. It's 10 hours from Jefferson City if you get on it and don't stop much. Springfield is 2.5 from Jeff, so do the math -- about 7-8 hours from Springfield to Dallas.

Live in NE Missouri and love it. Columbia has outgrown its pants so to speak. My brother and his wife graduated from Columbia University about thirty years ago. It was a great town then...but...my nephew and a niece have graduated or are attending now; Because of its growth they have some serious issues  with gangs. I would steer clear of living in the city limits of Columbia although it has great shopping of every type and form. Think MidwayUSA and CMMG and Bass Pro Shop are there/close-by among others. My wife and I live just inside the city limits of one of the small towns in NE Missouri mentioned above...it is a fantastic place to live. Can't speak for the other larger cities such as Jeff City, Springfield and such. Of course St. Louis and KC are fun to visit and simply leave it at that.

Our resident snake charmer speaks truth . . .

As an aside, a young lady I know manages an upscale apartment complex in Columbia. They have a serious copperhead infiltration. They're all over the place and can't get rid of them . . . oh well, just something else to enjoy with the landscaping.

Missouri definitely gets tornadoes. One hit my town last year, in fact. But not as many as Oklahoma, Kansas or Texas.

Bravo!!!!!

Only point to disagree with you is the "two weeks of Spring and Fall". Its highly subjective.

I love 50-60 degree weather. Wish it never got over 65 so I could work outside all day in coveralls and a long sleeve shirt and not break a heavy sweat. So far I've been enjoying this couple of months of mild temps. Great sleeping weather , I only fire up the heater/woodstove if its gonna dip below 49 inside overnight.

I took my run-about boat out last fall when it was in the high 40s. Had my Gore-tex on, that spray was a bit nippy.

North West Mo has monster deer and turkey. Decent pheasant hunting isnt to far away either. I have several very good real estate agents if you need contact info. I'd be glad to show you around if you get out this way. We are also very close to KCI airport which comes in handy. We have beautiful flat and rolling hills out here...Good luck bro

Fair comment. I probably should have said we have two weeks each of GLORIOUS spring and fall. The rest is hit or miss. Some years winter means three months of gray, damp 40s, other years it's sunny and 20 degrees for weeks on end. Spring can stay cold forever or (like this year) start out really nice and then turn cold. It's a cliche but, if you don't like the weather, wait a day. It will change. . . . Except summer. Summer always sucks (but last year wasn't bad, as I recall).

Never can tell. I shot skeet in shirt sleeves the day after Christmas. Last week it was 80+ degrees on Wednesday and near 30 by weekend.

I always thought we had it better in the tornado department than our neighbors, but I'd never seen it mapped out.  Cool map.

Hi Ed,
Sorry for your loss.  

I retired in 2017 from a job in Chicago.  We decided to move to a location away from SNOW.  Florida was out(personal reasons), Texas was too hot, didn't want to go West.  A friend retired 2 years before me and started at the Northwest corner of Missouri and moved South until they found something they like.  They settled in Pineville.  Lots of hills and dirt roads.  We checked out his area and moved a little east of him.  We live in a small town of 2200 people.  We are 50 minutes from Springfield, 1 hour West of Branson.

We are out of town and in farm country(Level and 1500').  Our neighbors are horses, cows, sheep, and some chickens.  It gets hot and humid but not unbearable.  We lived in Chicago area for many years and it's brutal there.  We had 4 snowfalls this year, all gone by Noon.  Love it!!!!!!!!!!!
We live on 5.4 acres, 3 bed/2 bath, ranch with 2 car attached garage, taxes under $1000.00 and Personal Property taxes under $500.00.  We purchased the property for under $125,000.00.  We have enough property to shoot in backyard.

The folks down are very pleasant to deal with and have most amenities of country living.  I keep my grass short, so snakes hardly ever are around.  Wife and I have a 50'x50' garden and I saw 1 garderner snake last year.  We grew tomatoes, beans, carrots, lettuce, squash, watermelon, cantaloupe, peppers, grapes and dill.  Our porch garden has basel, parsley, oregano, and rosemary.  

We love the area and haven't missed the big cities or the snow.  Good Luck with your quest to find a place to settle down.

JJKrzos

Garter Snake. Just sayin'.

I moved down to SW MO around 16 years ago from Chicago area.  Best thing that ever happened to me.

Food's OK, but it ain't Chicago style.  Coming from NY you'll probably end up having a similar opinion.  I sure do miss italian beefs and vienna beef hotdogs.

The hunting and fishing are pretty awesome.  I do most of my hunting/fishing around Lake of the Ozarks as it is my preferred area for deer and crappie, but there are many other places to go in MO.  You mentioned Table Rock Lake as a potential spot, I don't think you'd be let down at all in that area.  Nice lake for fishing, plenty of places to hunt around there, and if you're in to the tourist trap stuff Branson has to offer you'd be nearby and you'd even get a discount at most of those places for being a resident.  With all us arfcommers scattered around here I don't think you'll have a problem at all catching fish and bagging deer.

Won't find any mountains in this area, but the Ozarks in general are full of hilly terrain.  Even after being here for 16 years I always forget about this until I'm heading southbound on 65 towards Arkansas and get an awesome view of the terrain as I get to the Branson area.

We do have our storm seasons here and Missouri is in 'tornado alley' but fwiw we don't get them nearly as often as some other states, in 16 years there have been two low rating tornados in my AO outside of city limits.  Summer weather isn't scorching, but we have our share of 80-90F days where the humidity can get a tad thick if it rained recently.  Winters are mild compared to back home in IL.  I think I've maybe seen just a couple days of sub-zero temps in my time here, and maybe a total of 2ft of snow in that same timeframe.  We have had some winter ice storms, one was pretty bad and I think that was the winter of 05-06 if memory serves me correctly.  That one did some damage.

Overall MO is very gun friendly.  Probably some of the most relaxed gun laws in the country.

Won't really deal with any democrats or liberals outside of STL or KCMO.  Occasionally I'll see a bernie bumper sticker on a car around my small/medium sized town, but for the most part the atmosphere around here is a very relaxed and conservative one.

A few notable perks if you choose SW MO area...Bass Pro Shops in Springfield, and a cool little pub in Springfield owned by an arfcommer.

Another thing about the lakes, I've often heard that LOZ is very polluted from the surrounding houses. I have no idea how true it is, but that's something that's said sometimes. I know plenty of people who regularly eat fish out of that lake though.

Ed,  I grew up downstate and lived upstate for many years and have lived in Mo for past 15, so I can give you lots of help.
It’s hot In the summer, but we have lots of deer and great hunting.  

 Lots of land for slate if you want to buy.    How close do you want to be to real airport ?   Or will you drive to TX ?

Mamas have a way of getting what mamas want . . .

Condolences and good luck wherever you land... funny I have family in Cortland NY.  It reminds me a lot of southern MO just with much colder temps.  Same small town rural feel surrounded by beautiful scenery.  

If you end up in Texas you'll be leaving some amazing fishery action we have here...

As Oklahoma has toll roads on the major Interstate routes across their state, and they have reciprocy with Kansas and TX toll passes, I recommend the KTag (kansas) pass. It is not a bulky transponder but a small RFID type sticker that goes on your windshield (I used clear packing tape and swapped it between vehicles)
After comparing the 3 states, KTAG was the least hassle, no expense or deposit required, and had the most flexibility IMHO. YMMV. Texas has seperate toll road systems with unique rules last time I checked, always subject to change. So I recommend research before ordering a toll pass.

Sadly the EZ-Pass network of toll passes that work in about every state East of the Mississippi River do not work in KS, OK, or TX.

Texas is a different level of hot and humid. Triple digits are rare in Missouri, not so in TX.

Sir: my condolences on your loss.
I can only add that it is about 10 hours from Overland Park KS to my house in deep east Tx near Crockett.
I drive /drove kc area (parents/family) to my area monthly  for last 15 years or so.

Sr, Also condolences for your loss.

Good luck on your search!