I don't want to bother anyone with my problems. I know that you all have enough in your own lives to deal with. There's no guilt in in hitting the back button.

Most nights I can't sleep because my mind won't stop tormenting me for my past. During the day I think about the present and what little there is. And I can't see a future. I try not to think about the darker thoughts but they slip in. Often.

I don't ask for help. Nobody in my life cares, or is willing/able to help. It's... Complicated. Yet I see how simple it is. But what can I do. I don't even know why I'm posting this. I probably shouldn't. I learned the more I reach out the harder I'm turned away and the worse it gets. So I've closed off. I haven't talked to more than one person the past couple of months and that's part of the issue.

I don't know. Maybe I just need someone to hear me. Maybe I need an outside perspective. I know I need help, but all the help that I would need, the type of help.. It's unrealistic to expect that from anyone.

Where are you at? Are you .mil or a veteran?

IM sent

PM sent.

Ignore the location, I am in AK.

As a pastor, a big part of my job is listening to folks and being a "dead end" for information, giving them a chance to get stuff off their chest.  And sometimes I can point them to someone who can help them better than I can.  Shoot me a PM if you'd like to talk.  I'm just putting this out here in an open forum post so others know I'm available to listen.

No bother at all.

You .mil, now or formerly?  If so, I have contacts that can, and will help. No BS, just help.

IM me if you'd like, and I'll pass on the contact info.

Southeast here. I can get any time off and fly all over the area... Meet for lunch or whatever. I'm available just respond.

Hit one of us up OP..or all of us..we can help...

Hey man, PM me your number and we can text or hang out.

Likewise. I'm out of the state most of the time for work but my phone always works.