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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:29:36 PM EDT
January 16, 2021
Chinese Premier Xi JInping was found uncounscious at his home in Shanghai today by Party Members.  Initial speculation he was just sleeping was immediately overcome by the large amount of blood that was evident on and around his bedding.  Xi was taken to Hospital and given hydration and blood transfusions to make up for the unexplained blood loss. Initial investigations revealed no evident bleeding and no trauma. Upon waking up, Xi was able to explain the occurrence to Doctors and curious reporters from the China News Network.  "I was watching CNN in the United States, and noticed that Biden had deployed 25,000 troops to defend his inauguration. This is 10 times more troops than we ever felt necessary even here in the Motherland. The flogging and crackdowns by the surveillance state of the Americans were worthy of our treatment of the Uighurs."  "Watching America almost instantly descent into a petty dictatorship police state, with 74 million Americans on the way to the Death Camps was too much for me. I began to orgasm. For the first few minutes, it was just semen. Then it was a clear liquid. But after 2 hours, it started to become blood. I attempted to summon help, but the wracking orgasms prevented my iPhones Facial Recognition from getting a good enough image to unlock."  Doctors expect Xi Jinping to make a full recovery Xi has already promised to send Biden, Harris, and Pelosi personal ovens that they can shovel Trump supporters into from the comfort of their own offices, in the Chinese Tradition.  this post is satire...I hope. |
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:32:46 PM EDT
[#1]
"this post is satire...I hope."
Oh gee, you fuckin think |
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:32:50 PM EDT
[#2]
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:33:56 PM EDT
[#3]
Vurt da Furk
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:34:51 PM EDT
[#4]
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:35:05 PM EDT
[#5]
His bedroom looks the same as mine
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:36:22 PM EDT
[#6]
Well...maybe it is happening, after all.
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:36:37 PM EDT
[#7]
Die, you fuck.
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:37:12 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: "this post is satire...I hope." Oh gee, you fuckin think Naaaa, couldn't be. Just roll with it.
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:37:15 PM EDT
[#9]
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:38:16 PM EDT
[#10]
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:40:25 PM EDT
[#11]
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:45:42 PM EDT
[#12]
Almost had me there, really.
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:46:37 PM EDT
[#13]
Even if true it wouldn’t matter, another murdering commie would fill his position.
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:47:27 PM EDT
[#14]
   
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:47:44 PM EDT
[#15]
Not the time for shit like this
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:49:11 PM EDT
[#16]
WHO?
well BYE |
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:49:59 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Not the time for shit like this a little gallows humor is good at a time like this. |
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:50:43 PM EDT
[#18]
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:53:13 PM EDT
[#19]
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:56:11 PM EDT
[#20]
Really, you expect someone with an IQ over 20 to believe the Chinese leader sleeps in that shit bedroom?
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:58:14 PM EDT
[#21]
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Posted: 1/16/2021 6:58:58 PM EDT
[#22]
Stupid
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:00:42 PM EDT
[#23]
So....it finally escaped the Antarctic?
????? |
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:01:33 PM EDT
[#24]
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:02:56 PM EDT
[#25]
Slightly entertaining.
No. I got nothin' better. |
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:10:43 PM EDT
[#26]
Click bait should be a ban-able offense!
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:13:16 PM EDT
[#27]
I'll allow it !
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:19:22 PM EDT
[#28]
At first I this was going to be a parody Andrew Gillum being found unconscious with a gay male hooker.
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:32:30 PM EDT
[#29]
He killed his hooker.
I figured he caught his own engineered virus |
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:34:46 PM EDT
[#30]
You mothereffer...
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:35:30 PM EDT
[#31]
Rated troll
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:37:11 PM EDT
[#32]
This should make the Q folks weekend
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:37:34 PM EDT
[#33]
Gay gangbang gone wrong?
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:37:45 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: 
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:37:47 PM EDT
[#35]
BAN.
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:38:13 PM EDT
[#36]
The OP should be banned for posting fake shit.
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:42:37 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryThis is George Clooney’s acting at it’s best and he gets paid a lot to do it. He needs a good smack. |
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:43:24 PM EDT
[#38]
Quoted: January 16, 2021 .... this post is satire...I hope.  |
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:44:18 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The OP should be banned for posting fake shit. |
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:46:20 PM EDT
[#40]
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:46:31 PM EDT
[#41]
Got my hopes up.
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:47:17 PM EDT
[#42]
You had me till the bedroom pics. Xi don’t roll like that.
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:49:02 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: "this post is satire...I hope." Oh gee, you fuckin think Dude...you'd be surprised how many people here take anything literally. |
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:53:35 PM EDT
[#44]
Quoted: January 16, 2021 Chinese Premier Xi JInping was found uncounscious at his home in Shanghai today by Party Members. https://c.files.bbci.co.uk/1344B/production/_98032987_gettyimages-810310530.jpg Initial speculation he was just sleeping was immediately overcome by the large amount of blood that was evident on and around his bedding. https://www.thetrentonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/The-hotel-room-covered-in-blood-after-a-part-of-Liu-s-penis-is-cut-off-by-his-lover.jpg Xi was taken to Hospital and given hydration and blood transfusions to make up for the unexplained blood loss. Initial investigations revealed no evident bleeding and no trauma. Upon waking up, Xi was able to explain the occurrence to Doctors and curious reporters from the China News Network. https://media.beam.usnews.com/c4/96f83ecefad29559897a33a220a775/media:e1c4d2bc945f4e4e9106d627e1554079APTOPIX_Virus_Outbreak_China_23605.jpg "I was watching CNN in the United States, and noticed that Biden had deployed 25,000 troops to defend his inauguration. This is 10 times more troops than we ever felt necessary even here in the Motherland. The flogging and crackdowns by the surveillance state of the Americans were worthy of our treatment of the Uighurs." https://variety.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/cnn-go.jpg?w=1000 "Watching America almost instantly descent into a petty dictatorship police state, with 74 million Americans on the way to the Death Camps was too much for me. I began to orgasm. For the first few minutes, it was just semen. Then it was a clear liquid. But after 2 hours, it started to become blood. I attempted to summon help, but the wracking orgasms prevented my iPhones Facial Recognition from getting a good enough image to unlock." https://media.defense.gov/2021/Jan/14/2002564842/600/400/0/210113-Z-NI803-1128.JPG Doctors expect Xi Jinping to make a full recovery Xi has already promised to send Biden, Harris, and Pelosi personal ovens that they can shovel Trump supporters into from the comfort of their own offices, in the Chinese Tradition. https://www.moderustic.com/gallery/51716.jpg this post is satire...I hope. |
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Posted: 1/16/2021 7:53:35 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Rated troll |
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Posted: 1/17/2021 12:40:37 AM EDT
[#46]
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Posted: 1/17/2021 12:43:17 AM EDT
[#47]
Myth: Plausible
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Posted: 1/17/2021 12:48:34 AM EDT
[#48]
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Posted: 1/17/2021 12:49:28 AM EDT
[#49]
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Posted: 1/17/2021 12:50:37 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Not the time for shit like this No shit |
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