• Come in with your extremely disinterested girlfriend and have her buy 2 guns 2 days after you told me you weren’t legally able to buy a gun in Wisconsin…and then start picking out accessories for your, oops, her gun. Allow me to introduce you to a concept our store calls the “administrative denial.”



• Try to buy ammunition when we’ve kicked you out 3 times previously for being a drug dealing shitneck. Welcome to number four. Even IF I valued your commerce here, you still smell like jazz cabbage, which is why we kicked you out last time.



• Call me a liar for telling you that 55gr functions in a 1/7 twist barrel. It might not be suitable for extreme long range applications, but per your own admission, you shoot dirt at less than a hundred yards.



• Repeatedly insist that 7.62x54R functions in an M1A, AFTER I inform you that’s 7.62x51, not the Russian round. I don’t care if you intentionally jack up your rifle, but I’m not going to let any innocent bystanders hear your dangerous misinformation going uncorrected.



• Tell me that you quit shooting today because you really wanted to shoot long range, but the wind is really blowing your 223s off course at a hundred yards. I’ve done the math already so I could insult a local news station that claimed the wind blew bullets across a street - your claim is even more absurd.



• Conversational profanity. I’m not a prude. Profanity has a place to express strong emotion, usually in a stressful situation, or to insult someone, something, or a concept. I understand some people may use it more often than that.  But there’s no need to use f-bombs every other word, or add odd prefixes or suffixes to them to try and fit them in weird places in the conversation. Please do not refer to the guns as “bitches” either. You’re not Eminem.



• You must WANT to stink like jazz cabbage. That’s the only reason one could smell of it so thickly and pungently that OTHER customers complain about it.



• You’ve shot up so many times that the hollow of your right elbow is a bloody mass of needle tracks and you’re starting in on the left arm now. Don’t act surprised when I refuse to let you handle a gun.



• Don’t get pissy with me when I show your wife guns…you specifically stated you two were shopping for a gun for her, and she wants to handle them. Also don’t get pissy with me when I explain to HER that unlike your suggestion of a subcompact 40 or 45, a midsized 9 would be easier and more enjoyable to shoot for someone who’s never used a gun before. Why do I suddenly get the impression that she’s just here to buy a gun for you?



• Is that an Iron Cross tattoo on your elbow?



• Ask for a grand for a Ruger AR556 that you bought BEFORE the Shanghai Shivers started and only paid $650 for. Yes, I know what you have too. Do you think I’m stupid? Why would I pay you that?



• Call me a thief because you assume I voted for Trump (I did, but you don’t know that). I didn’t call you an irredeemable subhuman pedophile enabler when you told me you voted for Biden. Only one of our accusations is true, and its mine.



• Attempt to return a gun. This isn’t Walmart, and this isn’t a rug that clashes with your color scheme. I know you said you haven’t used it yet. I have my suspicions you meant to add “in a crime” to that sentence.



• Ask me to place a gun in an appendix holster in the front of your pants so you can try it out. That would require me to hold your front-butt out of the way. I’m not doing that.

I love my job. Every day is a new and different adventure.

Choot-em.

The. Fuck you say bitch ??

Retail sucks. Gun range retail really sucks.  

Did you know Smith and Wesson is the only company that can produce .40 caliber barrels ?  Yeah me either but boy did I get a lecture from a customer once

OP needs to work at a gun store not in a ghetto.

Wisconsin eh? I was in a tacti-cool range and store today with a sign on the door that basically said, "If you smell like weed, we wont sell to you."

You wouldn't be around Manitowoc would you?

That’s not me. I wish we had that sign on the door. I get enough electric lettuce stench blowing in my windows from the neighbors, I don’t want to smell it at work TOO.

Or, ya know, ever. I don’t know what it is about weed that makes people want to smell like a chocolate bar was wrapped in spinach and set on fire.

There is a place in Sun Prairie that has a sign on the door to not enter if you smell like weed.  I was walking into the store when 2 clean cut guys were following me in. I am a smart ass and don't give a damn. I turned to them and said, "hey - you guys smell like weed. Stay out".  That's when I saw the guns and the badges on their belts.  Madison police department detectives. They did not laugh.

I used to have a gun shop of my own. One day a customer came in and claimed that his dad had worked in intelligence in Germany in the 80’s. Being a huge Cold War buff, I was trying to figure out how to ask if his dad would be interested in answering questions or talking to me about it. Imagine my disappointment when he went on to say that his dad had “taught him things”. I don’t mean things like how to make biscuits and gravy or change a tire. Oh no, this was the nebulous “things”.

I had a moment and couldn’t help myself.

I said that my handlers didn’t care about his “things”, since we’d moved on to fighting alien zombie deer. I continued to lay the shit on as thick as I could get it.

The problem is that the son of a bitch believed me and this led to a huge injoke amongst a few other people.

I’ve got only one Tactical Timmy type customer, and he didn’t come in much. He received a C&D letter from the local PD for claiming multiple times to be a detective and departmental instructor. Apparently his father carries an RPD in Vietnam. I doubt that

Local range near me has the same sign. So did the range I just went to near Pittsburgh.

There's a gun store in Waukesha that has a sign that says exactly that.

TLDR...

It’s not the one guy that keeps getting arrested for claiming to be a cop is it?

If he’s been arrested for “stolen valor” type claims, he’s never told us. We do know he’s been served papers for impersonation because he did it in front of the head of the department he claimed to work for.

LOL if you've ever worked at a gun shop or been an FFL you'd know that's just the tip of the iceburg.

Yikes. Years ago I applied for a gun store job, but didn't get it. Maybe it was for the best.

Jeremy Dewitt is the guy that I’m thinking of.

Best job I’ve ever had. I love it. Every interaction is entertaining or fulfilling or reinforcing.

"Served papers"? Either he committed a criminal act of impersonating law enforcement, and was arrested..or he wasn't. Impersonators don't get civilly served paperwork, they get cuffed and educated on the inner workings of the criminal justice system.

You know, I'm all for legalization and I don't care what you smoke, and I'm all about carrying everywhere I go.  But if you can't help smoking so much and so often that you always reek of stank, you don't need to be touching guns.

He was issued a Cease & Desist and told that if he kept claiming to be something he is not, he would visit new worlds of trouble with several expensive lawyers paid by the city’s bottomless pockets as his guide.

Your rules are tldr

I'm still trying to get my Dad to teach me the 55 different ways to break a dudes neck that I'm sure he learned in Nam because Maj Paine said he learned it in Nam.  He gets a kick out of that movie.

Why does OP hate freedom?

Either this is your first "gun job" or you really need to work on your people skills. But, you sound like typical gun store employee....not an individual I'd consider fun to hang out with.

……….

Idea- we send 3 members from WI HTF into OP's store, we see who OP bitches about most.

Winner gets free box of ammo from OP.

I fell for it at first. You're trolling. Got me!

Nobody can be this fucking.....well,weird.

3 years selling guns. Before that, 11 years selling books and movies, before that, a year at Sam Goody. I’ve been selling stuff pretty much my entire working life.

My customers love working me and ask for me by name…except for the criminals. They don’t like me.

If you say stendo for my gat you get nothing.

Nothing wrong with an iron cross on the elbow.

Everyone on this planet has the right to own firearms. If you can afford it you can buy it

That would be Top Pack Defense.
I'd be game. I do have a PhD in Sarcasm and Smart Assery.

I don't understand why an iron cross would inherently be a problem. The German air force uses it on aircraft right now

@jaredgrey
Thank you and all the others for putting a smile on my face.

When I lived near St Louis I worked repairing  M1 Garands for gun stores pawn shops and individuals referred to me.
The worst was a middle age guy whom decided to straighten his op rod out. And argued to death it was suppose to be straight. ??

Attached File

I feel just a hint of suspicion towards people who sport tattoos of Nazi imagery. I mean, maybe he likes reminiscing about his time as a foreign fighter pilot, but I kind doubt it.

Recruit some more!
No shit, right?  Oooooh, books.  And the customers love to work him....whatever that means.

What's wrong with the iron cross?

It only took 10 seconds for me to figure out that I didn't want to watch all 9+ minutes. Shame on you.

The wind one gets me

Takes around 50mph 90 degree cross wind to push 55gr 15ish feet off at 500 yards out of a 16" barrel. Around 6 inches at 100. Was he shooting in a hurricane/tornado?

Edit: according to Strelok. I have never dealt with a 50mph wind while shooting

Pretty sure I'd enjoy hanging out w/ OP more than you.  I've had two gun sales jobs and finally got my 01.  I just have one issue, I have a terrible sense of smell, and have never been around weed.

OP, I just had two basic sales tactics.  If you walked up to the counter, I handed you a gun.  If that wasn't the gun you were interested in, you'd tell me, and I'd hand you another gun.  Americans have a difficult time putting down a gun in a gun shop.  They really want to take em home.

The other was I'd wait until they had paintakingly filled out the 4473.  I'd ask em then if they wanted to add any other guns w/o doing any more paperwork before I ran the check.  Didn't hit all the time, but enough to make it worthwhile.  Very occasionally I'd have to grab another 4473 to tear out the page and list more guns on it.  

Working in firearms manufacturing for a bit over 20 years,you get some really weird customer service calls.

Once a guy had bought an M82A1 and immediately gave it to the stores "gunsmith" because the Smith said reaming out the first 6" of rifling in front of the chamber would give it more muzzle velocity.
Customer sent it back to us after only owning it for about a month. Said the accuracy was all over the place at 100 yds. Sometimes not hitting an 8x10 piece of paper at 100.
We got it back in and I fired it and thought "WTF" after looking at the original test target we keep for records.

I looked in the barrel with a borescope and saw the lands in front of the chamber were gone. The guy did a nice job of reaming it, I will give him that.
Called the customer and that's when I got the story about the "gunsmith". Told the customer the shop owed him a new $1200 barrel.

Shop owner calls raising all kinds of havoc. Told me to just cut the barrel back and rechamber it. Told him that was a no go. Can't be done but for just 2 revolutions of the barrel. So about .120" or so.

Customer says just hold onto the rifle. It sits for about 2 months in the vault. Finally the shop calls and says to rebarrel it. I forward him to the girl in sales to pay. And I complete the rebarrel and test fire. Send the customer a copy of the test target fired with M33 ball. All was good.

Different gun shop calls and says they are sending a gun back as their gunsmith says the rifle is going to malfunction. I ask if they even fired it. They said no. But they can tell it will malfunction because the chamber end of the barrel face has marks on it. I tell him the rifle does not have a last shot hold open and when the bolt closes after the last round, the extractor that sits a hair above the bolt lugs will rub the chamber face and make the marks he is seeing. He says he is sending it back anyway.
Ronnie says to rebarrel it, shoot a new target and send it back. I do that. Gunshop owner calls and says the same marks are there that will cause a malfunction.  We get the rifle back....again.

Ronnie says rebarrel it and DO NOT test fire it. I say okay and send it back. Never heard a word about it anymore.

Customer has probably never fired it.

Yep ,rode the counter for 22 years .
I drive a flower delivery truck now,  it's much better LOL

Everything in the OP that wasn't drug or straw purchase related.  I would have just shrugged off and ignored

I’ve been using both of those tactics recently. So far no one has taken me up on filling up the 4473 yet. But I do have a few  favorite guns I like putting in peoples hands.