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Posted: 2/24/2021 11:41:39 AM EDT
In a NYT breaking report...The NEW THREAT to the USA!

(quote)
The world needs monkeys, whose DNA closely resembles that of humans, to develop Covid-19 vaccines. But a global shortage, resulting from the unexpected demand caused by the pandemic, has been exacerbated by a recent ban on the sale of wildlife from China, the leading supplier of the lab animals.

The latest shortage has revived talk about creating a strategic monkey reserve in the United States, an emergency stockpile similar to those maintained by the government for oil and grain.  

I see profit here...any volunteers ? 14.99 an hour.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/23/business/covid-vaccine-monkeys.html?smid=tw-share&utm_source=morning_brew
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 11:46:06 AM EDT
[#1]
Man, this has a CoC ban written all over it....

Link Posted: 2/24/2021 11:50:16 AM EDT
[#2]

"We must not allow a monkey gap!"
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 11:53:30 AM EDT
[#3]
Peak monkey!!!!
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 11:55:51 AM EDT
[#4]
Somebody, somewhere is attempting to discover the proper porn to get Chim Chim in the mood
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 12:00:09 PM EDT
[#5]
this reads exactly like the beginning of a John Ringo series

Link Posted: 2/24/2021 12:06:17 PM EDT
[#6]
Too many trunk monkeys in use, I suspect...
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 12:09:56 PM EDT
[#7]
Quoted:
strategic monkey reserve
View Quote
What.  The fuck.  
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 12:11:29 PM EDT
[#8]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Man, this has a CoC ban written all over it....

View Quote

I guess I'm getting jaded.  I didn't even think of that.
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 12:14:42 PM EDT
[#9]
ban monkeys they are dangerous.

when monkeys are outlawed only monkeys will have guns.

Link Posted: 2/24/2021 12:15:36 PM EDT
[#10]
Don't mind me, I'm just here watching the edgelords shitpost and play coy.
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 12:15:37 PM EDT
[#11]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
What.  The fuck.  
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
strategic monkey reserve
What.  The fuck.  


Strategic Monkey Reserve is a great band name
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 12:17:46 PM EDT
[#12]
Research primates, primarily rhesus and cynomogus monkeys were becoming more and more difficult to obtain from the international market (either China or India) even before COVID.  

Domestically raised macaques are very expensive and in short supply from commercial breeders due to USDA regulations.  A young male rhesus could run well over $10,000 last time I was "in the know" about this sort of thing which has been a couple of years.  

However, this particular story was clearly ginned up by the the federal primate center they reference at Tulane and those in other locations to get their share of that sweet, sweet COVID cash.
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 12:18:26 PM EDT
[#13]
Texas has a bunch of dudes on Death Row.



Just sayin'.
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 12:18:29 PM EDT
[#14]
Damn dirty apes


Link Posted: 2/24/2021 12:21:06 PM EDT
[#15]
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 12:21:55 PM EDT
[#16]
I better de/invest my equity in Chiquita.
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 12:26:10 PM EDT
[#17]
There's sig line material in there somewhere.

In another note, my first thought was they might want to keep Detrick open!
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 1:24:20 PM EDT
[#18]
Bleeding heart lefties hounded many of the primate labs out of existence in the 90's.

Maybe we can subcontract that type of research out to the chineses where there are no ethical or cultural problems to deal with. I hear they have a really really really close analog to humans safely caged over there.
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 2:07:44 PM EDT
[#19]
A former coworker told us that he had once worked in a monkey research facility on the left coast and his job was to collect the monkeys from the cages so they could extract semen, lol. He said that they used an electric probe inserted in the monkey's rectum in order to extract the semen. We nicknamed him monkey spank
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 2:30:10 PM EDT
[#20]
We do have a few swinging wild here in Florida.
But they do have that deadly herpes thing going on if that is a problem....
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 2:33:19 PM EDT
[#21]
Vietnam has lots of monkeys as does all of SE Asia and the islands...you could raise all the monkeys you could possibly use.
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 2:33:47 PM EDT
[#22]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Man, this has a CoC ban written all over it....

View Quote



I had the funniest post that would have won the internet too.
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 9:07:10 PM EDT
[#23]
Maybe we need a Federal Wildlife Marshal to track down Jay and Silent Bob again to see if they have been stealing more monkeys from the labs
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 9:12:12 PM EDT
[#24]
IBTL
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 9:15:53 PM EDT
[#25]
Peter Gabriel - Shock The Monkey


Actually I was expecting Project X
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 9:27:29 PM EDT
[#26]
I'm here world! I knew I was special and would do something important one day!

Attachment Attached File
Link Posted: 2/24/2021 9:37:26 PM EDT
[#27]
You can't make this shit up anymore.
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