My good friend Alan just took his life last week.

He was someone I felt I could always rely on in SHTF to hold the line and not hesitate to do the right thing.
He was a member of this board (I dont know which SN)
We lived far apart in recent years since we both moved due to jobs..

I always felt a certain kinship with the man...

Sadly same the "cool kids" in the Combat shooter community sometimes would not give him a whole lot of respect because he non-mil, overweight and with his glasses looked a bit like the quintessential "Fudd", plus his rifle was not cool and expensive but an economy rifle...

Alan wasn't a Fudd and did the best he could with the resources he had..

He looked like a giant bear of a man but was actually saddened I noticed when during a range day a bunch of guys he looked up to, with $2000 rifle set ups, optics included, made fun of his 600 dollar optic less rifle..when he was trying hard to be part of that community..

he did lose tons of weight at some point and got pretty fit and showed us what he could do.

What ultimately happend I think is the combination of moving to another state away from his friends, a divorce, job loss and then the lockdown.. at some point prior to the lockdown he was becoming very overweight again and didnt even want to come out and meet up with his old buds for that reason...

I feel I should have tried harder to keep in touch... maybe it could have been prevented.
But the last time I called he didnt pick up so I called less when I should have called more...

Sorry if I am rambling a bit, but when looking back at what I saw of his life, I always wished the community would have treated him a bit better.

In my mind however, the lockdown I feel, is what pushed him over the edge

Prayers. Very sad story.

Yes people can and will be assholes.  I had a buddy
similar in a fews ways to your friend.  But George
didn't care and stood up for us all.  We shot together
on a trap team for some years.  I should have been
closer to him too.  But as in life we were moving different directions.  I was called by another guy
and told me he passed away.  Take care.

So very, very sorry for your loss.  

The previous post about assholes among us is unfortunately correct.  Feel comfort knowing you were a positive and supportive element in his life.....

I'm so very sorry to hear about your friend.  I lost my Dad to suicide 34 years ago after he and Mom separated.

Sorry to hear about your friend.

Self-esteem is a fragile thing.  Sorry about your friend, OP.