Self pay

Little one had an "urgent care" visit for hurt finger. X-ray, and just some meds, and general check it out stuff.  
Drove in next morning to pay up. No bill yet "we have no way of knowing". Put 500$ deposit down in yankee greenbacks.
3 months later received a bill for $18.00 looked like my 5 year old scribbled up.  I sent check. 3 months  later received a bill for another 200. Looked more unprofessional than the first...  Stated basically "medical index 1" and a bit more coded gibberish.  I called to confirm it may be the last and that ide stop in that day.  I was told I was in "red" as in a "past due self pay" dude.  Bill showed I wasn't.  

Transfered around to 4 different dept. All of which were "I don't know that would have to be handled by ____". Ok....  

Finally someone figured out "you didn't pay 500 did you?   .....

Basically went into spiral there.  I was owed 98 bucks by the end of it.  I was everywhere from an insane person, to on the phone with an attorney, to billing the little shack with interest from myself.  8 months and it's all finally straightened out, ending with the billing dept. Managers ridiculous "appology" email, plus her hand typed, line by line break down of charges, which also was half assed.  I explained I shared charges with a phyco ex, and a judge or attorney couldn't read that shit that was sent before. Biggest shit show I've ever seen. The shit I'm leaving out you wouldn't believe.  I started recording calls and on two of them I have people say "Im sorry.. I just don't know what to tell you, they won't allow me to see anything here... I don't know what to do".

So

Don't fucking pay ahead or same day. Don't deposit. And mostly, don't pay in cash.  Sit there and wait. let the world call you "a drag on the system."

I've paid every bill I've ever had in cash same day, my whole life..  and my WHOLE life I'm looked at like "wtf" when they see the envelope. Not now, never again. The system is fucked, not me.

K bitching whiney little pissy pants griping post, done.  I'm up early dwelling on things these days...  Lots of things

Most local Practices have the annoying habit of A) billing you right away, before any insurance adjustments are made, and then B) keeping your overpayment and giving your account "credit" toward future billings.  You have to scream at them to get your money back.  I always let it go at least 60-90 days before I pay any "additional" money over my co-pay.  I just recently had a bill start out at $120.00, and by the third notice it was only $40.00, which I paid.

#1 never pay bills that you split with the ex in cash NEVER! always by check or card

#2 turn it over to said ex when you can't get anywhere with the folks you are trying to deal with

I'd get that 5 year old on the fast track to medical coding/billing. We pay them pretty good and there are always open positions.


Quick billing incompetence story: Had a procedure. Facility offered 20% discount if I paid within one week. I took them up on that, calling on day 6 with my HSA card number. They charged me the full amount. I spent a couple hours getting it "fixed." But the difference was never credited to my HSA, so I filed a dispute for the difference about a month later, before the time limit expired. The HSA card accepted the dispute, and credited the difference to my HSA account.
A week later, a check for the full amount showed up from the provider, (that they had previously taken from my HSA account.) Talked to HR and the HSA bank. Only thing to do is cash it and send a check with a form explaining the mistaken disbursement. Told HSA bank to cancel the dispute, but they said not until the other party either responds (or not.) They didn't respond. HSA bank made the credit permanent, because that's the rule.

We are about five months in. At present, I am up about $350 on the deal. I'm expecting a bill for $1,550 one day, once they do an audit.

Wife got surgery, a couple years back. After insurance, the hospital sent us a bill for $11k. I demanded an itemized bill as the one they sent looked probably like OP's. They charged us something like a dozen times for her hospital gown and @ $240/ea. This was just a small part of it, too.

By the time I was done nickle and diming them, we owed ~$1100

It was frustrating and time consuming, but well worth the $10k difference.