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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:55:14 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You should probably file this shit under "things I shouldn't discuss on the internet with strangers". Why, because it is a certain part of the body? Are you a Puritan? Lots of guys suffer with this condition. This place very often functions as a group help discussion. If someone else can see they need to get their act together, eat right, take fiber regularly, because this is the definite trajectory of their course, then it is good thing. Or mentality of 12yo Bevis and Butthead? " uh, huh huh. He said 'butt". |
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:56:51 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What did they give you for pain? I am guessing oxycodone for now. I skipped some posts. Get some rest. Yeah, and 1k Tylenol, opposite rotations. Scheduled labeled alarms on my phone. |
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:58:19 PM EDT
[#3]
take care of yourself.
please don't post pics! |
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Posted: 9/23/2022 11:05:55 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted: take care of yourself. please don't post pics! But how will we know what to watch out for? |
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Posted: 9/23/2022 11:12:06 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Why, because it is a certain part of the body? Are you a Puritan? Lots of guys suffer with this condition. This place very often functions as a group help discussion. If someone else can see they need to get their act together, eat right, take fiber regularly, because this is the definite trajectory of their course, then it is good thing. Or mentality of 12yo Bevis and Butthead? " uh, huh huh. He said 'butt". Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: You should probably file this shit under "things I shouldn't discuss on the internet with strangers". Why, because it is a certain part of the body? Are you a Puritan? Lots of guys suffer with this condition. This place very often functions as a group help discussion. If someone else can see they need to get their act together, eat right, take fiber regularly, because this is the definite trajectory of their course, then it is good thing. Or mentality of 12yo Bevis and Butthead? " uh, huh huh. He said 'butt". On the contrary, I think it's just fine. You'd be surprised how many people suffer from fissures and hemorrhoids. Throughout history no less. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 3:27:21 AM EDT
[#6]
Guys.
Try this. You can buy it on Amazon. It really helped me big time after taking for about 5 days. The brand is Omniven 500 The ingredient that fixes your ass is diosmin. It was recommended to me for a different circulation issue and helped my ass. Look it up. It’s $20 we’ll spent. Please report back. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 3:49:37 AM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: When life gives you a bunch of grapes, make wine? Been there (with the hemorrhoids, I mean). That would be some shitty wine.  Hope things start looking up for you op, things can always be worse, so try and look for the good in your day. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 4:00:03 AM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You should probably file this shit under "things I shouldn't discuss on the internet with strangers". And sometimes it's the perfect place to discuss such things. There have been discussions on this site that literally - and dramatically - changed my life. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 4:16:01 AM EDT
[#9]
I've gotten them after sitting for 12 hours a day every day with few breaks on crappy chairs
Not fun. At all. I do my best to walk around more now. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 4:32:52 AM EDT
[#10]
As multiple others suggested, GET A BIDET!!!
Get an electronic one preferably with an on-demand water heater. I have 2 MOENs from Costco and love them. A cheaper manual valve one flooded my house. You have to plug it in a socket though which I don't have near the toilet so I use a string of Christmas lights as an extension cord. On and off the toilet in less than 30 seconds with a smile! Used to be a 15+ minute unpleasant ordeal. Like continuously wiping a brown marker. Zero hemorrhoids since, over 2 years. I suffered through grape sized thrombosed for years. Desperately lanced one myself with my ex-gf's large bore dull sewing needle. Couldn’t find anything else and desperation level peaked. Was even scheduled for a hemorrhoidectomy which I cancelled the week before. Research showed the reoccurance rate after surgery is very high and it's a barbaric procedure. Mine was caused from crazy narcotic constipation after 2 surgeries. You ever had to use a spoon to help remove a shit baseball more dense than the Earth's core from your asshole? More painful than the hemorrhoids I promise. No amount of any stool softeners or fiber helped me. I've now found that magnesium citrate works very well for me and it's actually a healthy needed suppliment. FWIW, In greater doses it's what they give you before a colonoscopy to evacuate everything. Normal amounts daily makes it perfect. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 4:38:03 AM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: As multiple others suggested, GET A BIDET!!! Get an electronic one preferably with an on-demand water heater. I have 2 MOENs from Costco and love them. A cheaper manual valve one flooded my house. You have to plug it in a socket though which I don't have near the toilet so I use a string of Christmas lights as an extension cord. On and off the toilet in less than 30 seconds with a smile! Used to be a 15+ minute unpleasant ordeal. Like continuously wiping a brown marker. Zero hemorrhoids since, over 2 years. I suffered through grape sized thrombosed for years. Desperately lanced one myself with my ex-gf's large bore dull sewing needle. Couldn’t find anything else and desperation level peaked. Was even scheduled for a hemorrhoidectomy which I cancelled the week before. Research showed the reoccurance rate after surgery is very high and it's a barbaric procedure. Mine was caused from crazy narcotic constipation after 2 surgeries. You ever had to use a spoon to help remove a shit baseball more dense than the Earth's core from your asshole? More painful than the hemorrhoids I promise. No amount of any stool softeners or fiber helped me. I've now found that magnesium citrate works very well for me and it's actually a healthy needed suppliment. FWIW, In greater doses it's what they give you before a colonoscopy to evacuate everything. Normal amounts daily makes it perfect. My first thought was bidet. I used to have hemorrhoids because of ibs. My ass would bleed nearly every day. Dealt with it for several years. Pandemic and the Great Toilet Paper Shortage got me to buy a bidet. No more hemorrhoids and no more bleeding. I just have a $30 one from Amazon. It'll wake you right up in winter. Lol. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 4:44:42 AM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted: As multiple others suggested, GET A BIDET!!! Get an electronic one preferably with an on-demand water heater. I have 2 MOENs from Costco and love them. A cheaper manual valve one flooded my house. You have to plug it in a socket though which I don't have near the toilet so I use a string of Christmas lights as an extension cord. On and off the toilet in less than 30 seconds with a smile! Used to be a 15+ minute unpleasant ordeal. Like continuously wiping a brown marker. Zero hemorrhoids since, over 2 years. I suffered through grape sized thrombosed for years. Desperately lanced one myself with my ex-gf's large bore dull sewing needle. Couldn’t find anything else and desperation level peaked. Was even scheduled for a hemorrhoidectomy which I cancelled the week before. Research showed the reoccurance rate after surgery is very high and it's a barbaric procedure. Mine was caused from crazy narcotic constipation after 2 surgeries. You ever had to use a spoon to help remove a shit baseball more dense than the Earth's core from your asshole? More painful than the hemorrhoids I promise. No amount of any stool softeners or fiber helped me. I've now found that magnesium citrate works very well for me and it's actually a healthy needed suppliment. FWIW, In greater doses it's what they give you before a colonoscopy to evacuate everything. Normal amounts daily makes it perfect. Not a spoon, but I put a latex glove on and dug it out with my index finger. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 4:53:22 AM EDT
[#13]
I have had some trouble with hemorrhoids through the years until I started taking stool softeners every day. No problems since. I hope that continues.
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Posted: 9/24/2022 6:20:26 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Not a spoon, but I put a latex glove on and dug it out with my index finger. I really wish I didn't identify with this post. A few years back, got diagnosed as pre-diabetic so I dropped soda entirely. Thing is, I also got a prescription for metformin. At the same time, I finally broke down and asked for something to deal with my ADHD, so I was put on a "medium" dose of adderall. Metformin already fucks with your gut, but I also got to learn that adderall completely deletes my appetite. Adding a little bit of joy to this, when I started on the meds the wife shifted us over to keto. Stuff got interesting relatively quick, but didn't go to hell until I opted for a fiber supplement in the hopes of evening things out. Yeaaaah, that didn't work as intended. Only positive thing I can say about that time period is I lost 40 pounds in a month on my "methformin" diet. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 7:31:14 AM EDT
[#15]
Time for an amusing hemorrhoids story. It's even better for the people who remember Howard Cosell.
Howard Cosel was interviewing Fran Tarkenton in the days before the 1975 Superbowl. The interview was held in the courtyard of the hotel where the Vikings were staying. Wally Hilgenberg, Bob Lurtsema, and Alan Page filled wastebasket with water, and from the second floor, dumped water on Cosell. They hit him squarely, and knocked his toupee off. Hilgenberg and Lurtsema ran off, but Page stood there admiring the handiwork. Cosell was upset, and got even. It took until next season when the Vikings were on a Monday night game, but he got even. Page missed that game due to inflamed hemorrhoids. Cosell knew this fact, and made sure the fans knew it too by repeating it every chance he got. Camera catches Page on the sidelines, mention hemorrhoids. A play where Page may have done better than replacement, mention hemorrhoids. https://shamasportsheadliners.com/vikings-got-cosell-at-75-super-bowl/ https://www.twincities.com/2018/02/01/drenching-howard-cosell-rare-moment-of-levity-in-vikings-super-bowl-history/ |
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Posted: 9/26/2022 9:08:53 PM EDT
[#16]
OP you still with us????
Hoping you're not doing too bad. Give us a sign when you can. |
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Posted: 9/26/2022 9:36:33 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Yeah, and 1k Tylenol, opposite rotations. Scheduled labeled alarms on my phone. They gave you an opioid? Wow. I figured that's the last thing. My doc only gave me Gabapentin and Torodol with a little bit of Tramadol. In regards to the pain: I hope they gave you the long-lasting injection of Exparel, which lasted about 3-4 days. Those few days after surgery are actually the easiest; I would say it's day 5-10 that is the worst. The good thing is that the pain is only excruciating when you have a BM and the rest of the time it's not bad. Continue to follow your doctor's recommendation and do those sitz baths! I scoffed at first but they really do help. 2-3 times a day is best while you're healing. |
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Posted: 9/27/2022 10:09:45 AM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: OP you still with us???? Hoping you're not doing too bad. Give us a sign when you can. I am here. Surgery went well, Friday. There was extensive work done, according to the doc. They have either made some pretty great advancements in the procedure, my doc is exceptional, or I'm just lucky. It has been far from pleasant but not as bad as what I expected. >edit out all the gory details< They gave me oxy but I've only taken a couple. As of last night, no more oral pain meds. Topical lidocaine and 1% hydrocort. Been on a pretty restricted (self imposed) diet of thick or steel cut oats, prunes, blueberries, carrots, celery, and a little chicken. That's been since friday before last. So, a little weak right now but am increasing calories and activity. Lifted some light weights in the kitchen this a.m. while my oats cooked to try to get some blood flowing. Doc didn't put any restrictions except to say plenty of water, fiber, fiber foods stool softener. Pain will regulate activity, says him. All in all, I'm pretty thankful it wasn't as bad as what I'd heard but will be glad to be back to "normal" because laying around really sucks. Should I start a new thread, "I got a new butthole, AMA"?  I have taken the time to catch up on reading, research, and self education. I can now program a Baofeng uv5r, longhand.  Been listening to Kings Island traffic. Surprised 460mhz gets out this far with all the shit between us. There is a lot to learn about radio. |
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Posted: 9/27/2022 10:12:43 AM EDT
[#19]
Awesome update - glad you're on the mend.
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Posted: 9/27/2022 10:15:39 AM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: They gave you an opioid? Wow. I figured that's the last thing. My doc only gave me Gabapentin and Torodol with a little bit of Tramadol. In regards to the pain: I hope they gave you the long-lasting injection of Exparel, which lasted about 3-4 days. Those few days after surgery are actually the easiest; I would say it's day 5-10 that is the worst. The good thing is that the pain is only excruciating when you have a BM and the rest of the time it's not bad. Continue to follow your doctor's recommendation and do those sitz baths! I scoffed at first but they really do help. 2-3 times a day is best while you're healing. I did get the long lasting injection. I've got no way to know how much it helped. Seems the pain has been fairly the same, with maybe a little less on Saturday (second day). The oxy really didn't do anything for me, so I just left it. Took maybe 2 or 3 total to try to sleep. The OTC 4% topical lidocaine is a wonderful thing. I don't know why I hadn't seen this stuff before. Will be a staple in our medicine cabinet from now on. Lots of uses. |
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Posted: 9/27/2022 10:18:45 AM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I am here. Surgery went well, Friday. There was extensive work done, according to the doc. They have either made some pretty great advancements in the procedure, my doc is exceptional, or I'm just lucky. It has been far from pleasant but not as bad as what I expected. >edit out all the gory details< They gave me oxy but I've only taken a couple. As of last night, no more oral pain meds. Topical lidocaine and 1% hydrocort. Been on a pretty restricted (self imposed) diet of thick or steel cut oats, prunes, blueberries, carrots, celery, and a little chicken. That's been since friday before last. So, a little weak right now but am increasing calories and activity. Lifted some light weights in the kitchen this a.m. while my oats cooked to try to get some blood flowing. Doc didn't put any restrictions except to say plenty of water, fiber, fiber foods stool softener. Pain will regulate activity, says him. All in all, I'm pretty thankful it wasn't as bad as what I'd heard but will be glad to be back to "normal" because laying around really sucks. Should I start a new thread, "I got a new butthole, AMA"? I have taken the time to catch up on reading, research, and self education. I can now program a Baofeng uv5r, longhand. Been listening to Kings Island traffic. Surprised 460mhz gets out this far with all the shit between us. There is a lot to learn about radio.  I'm sorry, couldn't help myself. I'm glad surgery went well and you are on the mend. No more sitting at the lathe for you! |
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Posted: 9/27/2022 10:41:44 AM EDT
[#22]
Glad to hear it went well.
Now you have time to work on your short story.
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Posted: 9/27/2022 11:09:10 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Glad to hear it went well. Now you have time to work on your short story. I was just looking at that. As soon as I can actually sit in my chair, I intend to start back in on it. Typing on my side blows. I've been reading Halffast's Lights Out and it has inspired me to do my own novel. I think I could put out a decent story, if I can devote the time and energy to it. That's the tricky part. |
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Posted: 9/27/2022 11:15:17 AM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I was just looking at that. As soon as I can actually sit in my chair, I intend to start back in on it. Typing on my side blows. I've been reading Halffast's Lights Out and it has inspired me to do my own novel. I think I could put out a decent story, if I can devote the time and energy to it. That's the tricky part. If you get really bored…. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Pétomane Mel Brooks named the Governor in Blazing Saddles after this guy. |
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Posted: 9/27/2022 2:44:15 PM EDT
[#25]
It's funny. Rigby is my boy's cat but he hangs with me the most, when I'm here. Little guy has barely left my side since last Friday. Huckleberry used to have that job.
 Attached FileRiggs is the fluffiest cat I've ever seen. Like a sharp teddy bear. |
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Posted: 9/27/2022 3:51:57 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It's funny. Rigby is my boy's cat but he hangs with me the most, when I'm here. Little guy has barely left my side since last Friday. Huckleberry used to have that job. https://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/206831/20220927_143426_jpg-2541472.JPG Riggs is the fluffiest cat I've ever seen. Like a sharp teddy bear. You aren't kidding. That's some fur. |
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Posted: 9/27/2022 3:54:02 PM EDT
[#27]
OP posts scary stuff.
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Posted: 9/27/2022 8:23:02 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I would have thought an unending rotation of ice packs would be better for the inflammation and pain.  Blue Mountain State - Ice Rod Therapy |
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Posted: 9/30/2022 10:57:33 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: They gave you an opioid? Wow. I figured that's the last thing. My doc only gave me Gabapentin and Torodol with a little bit of Tramadol. In regards to the pain: I hope they gave you the long-lasting injection of Exparel, which lasted about 3-4 days. Those few days after surgery are actually the easiest; I would say it's day 5-10 that is the worst. The good thing is that the pain is only excruciating when you have a BM and the rest of the time it's not bad. Continue to follow your doctor's recommendation and do those sitz baths! I scoffed at first but they really do help. 2-3 times a day is best while you're healing. @zhukov was right. Fucking hell. It wasn't so much the wearing off of the 3 day anesthetic. It was the increase of "real food" and that resulting trauma. I hadn't taken any meds since Monday and that was just ibuprofen. Had to take an oxy this a.m. Didn't want to but holy hell, that was unpleasant and a hot bath wasn't doing diddly. So, thanks for trying to warn me. I'm going back to my quarter cup of oats a day. |
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Posted: 9/30/2022 11:00:26 AM EDT
[#30]
Surgery twice.
Then a bidet, and I just don't have them anymore. You just don't know what you're missing until you start using one. |
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Posted: 9/30/2022 11:01:52 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: @zhukov was right. Fucking hell. It wasn't so much the wearing off of the 3 day anesthetic. It was the increase of "real food" and that resulting trauma. I hadn't taken any meds since Monday and that was just ibuprofen. Had to take an oxy this a.m. Didn't want to but holy hell, that was unpleasant and a hot bath wasn't doing diddly. So, thanks for trying to warn me. I'm going back to my quarter cup of oats a day. Yeah, stopping pain meds was a bad idea. Set a timer and stick to it. Other than that, the next few days will be the worst but the end is in sight. Keep taking those baths - I don't even feel gay anymore when I sit in the tub now.
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Posted: 9/30/2022 11:01:56 AM EDT
[#32]
OP everyone is Different.
I was Cut on a few and banded on the others. Didnt even use my Lidocane topical. Stayed Hydrated, limited activity, did some sitz baths and took ibuprohin. Was good as new in a weeks time. take care |
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Posted: 10/11/2022 7:16:24 PM EDT
[#33]
Mowed some grass today. Ordinarily not a big deal.
Crap, what a month of not eating and laying around will take out of a man.  |
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Posted: 10/11/2022 7:24:05 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Mowed some grass today. Ordinarily not a big deal. Crap, what a month of not eating and laying around will take out of a man. if we need to do a Striker approved fundraiser to buy you a Japanese bidet seat and some shotgun shells let us know.
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Posted: 10/11/2022 7:29:50 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Yeah, stopping pain meds was a bad idea. Set a timer and stick to it. Other than that, the next few days will be the worst but the end is in sight. Keep taking those baths - I don't even feel gay anymore when I sit in the tub now. This for sure. Pain meds are prescribed for a reason, use them. Seems you are up and about though, thats great. My father was basically incapacitated for 3 weeks after that surgery. |
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Posted: 10/11/2022 8:18:58 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This for sure. Pain meds are prescribed for a reason, use them. Seems you are up and about though, thats great. My father was basically incapacitated for 3 weeks after that surgery. I ain't exactly ready to run a marathon. But I got to get going. Doc said pain will keep me from over doing it. So, I don't want a lot of meds. I don't recommend this as a good way to get time off work. I'm just glad to be a little productive, again. Even went to the shop for a bit. |
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