or is it me?

I've got an issue that I spent a few months praying about. The details aren't extremely important, but after a few months what seemed like the most clear answer to that prayer fell into my lap. It was great, I was the happiest I'd been in quite awhile...and now that same answer that looked to be a 'yes' is looking more like a 'no'. Needless to say I'm confused, frustrated, and a little perturbed. I now ask God how I may have misread His answer, with all of the permutations of who/where/when. Here's what has me tied up at the moment...not only do I not trust what I thought I was seeing, I now don't trust myself to be able to separate Him talking to me from the possiibility that my own mind is "answering". This morning I literally had both 'yes' and 'no' enter my head when praying about this particular situation, and I feel like God wouldn't change His mind in the course of a few seconds (although He could).

So, folks...how do you determine that you're actually hearing Him and not your personal projection of Him? I'm Catholic if it affects your response.

The will of God for you particularly (as opposed to his general will for all people to know, love, and serve him in this life so that we can spend eternity with him in the next) can be difficult to distinguish.  I have known a couple times in my life  for sure that God was asking me to do something.  

The first time was when some friends tried to set me up with my now wife.  I hadn't met her yet and was commissioning into the Army and headed to Ranger School, the 82nd, and then Iraq.  I had never really seen myself settling down in the future, my plans were after doing some high speed stuff in the Army to go back to my family's ranch in NE and play cowboy.  However when my friend mentioned her name I clearly heard a voice tell me, "this is what I have for you, you're going to marry her." I did my best to pull a Jonah and avoid meeting her, and even after meeting and beginning to fall in love did my best to avoid what I knew was inevitable, and best for me, but finally decided to obey while laying in the prone "pulling security" on top of a cold North Georgia mountain in December.  Following, surrendering to that voice has completely altered the trajectory of my planned life, but it has been for my good.

The second time, after returning from Iraq, my brigade was immediately put on the global response force, 6 months earlier than scheduled because 2nd Brigade was sent to Haiti after the earth quakes.  I found myself working 16 hour days frequently as we tried to reset as quickly as possible and train up for an entirely different mission set then we had done in Iraq. My wife and I were married about 6 months before my deployment, and we quickly realized the next 18 months on two hour recall to Fort Bragg, were going to be very tough on our young marriage.  (There wasn't a lot for my recent college graduate wife to do in Fayetteville, NC)  that's when an opportunity to go to the Old Guard came along. I didn't join the Army to march and play dress up, but I knew immediately this was God's opportunity for us. I put in for it and was accepted, however my brigade commander denied the transfer.  We were sort of devastated as we clearly thought going to DC was God's will for us. Over the next few days we came to grip with staying at Fort Bragg, somewhat bitterly at first.  After we sat and prayed together "not my will but thy will be done" the very next morning my battalion commander found me after PT and gave me word that I was getting sent to The Old Guard despite their wishes to keep me. Apparently the day before my brigade commander had been at human resource command when it's cg cornered him and told him something to the effect of, "I hear you don't support the Army's mission to honor its fallen heroes, that couldn't be true could it?" So he released me, and it turned out to be a great gift to both my wife and I, apparently divinely ordained but only when I surrendered my will.

Given all of that there are a few signposts I find very helpful in determining the specific will of God:

1.  Scripture (or in your case church teaching), does it directly say anything, or have principles that apply to this situation.  Like for example marriage is a good gift that God gives some of us.
2.  Open doors, if God truly wills something for you, he will (eventually) make a way.
3. Personal impressions while deep in prayer.   Often the Holy Spirit may speak to us in a still small voice while we are communing with God.
4. Surrendered desire, when we truly come to a place where we seek God's will above our own will, if we still really feel something is the right move it likely may be.
5. Advice of other faithful individuals who both know and love you and know and love God. God often chooses to speak to us through our fellow Christians, just be sure they know and love both you and the lord.

No one of these is a guarantee, but taken together they can give you a pretty good idea what God's will for you is. Often however I think God leaves it to us to make the wisest choice possible with the information available following his principles (like love your neighbor, provide for your family etc...), and I've found sometimes when he does ask you to do something, you just know (typically because it's something you don't want to do but feel an overwhelming sense you must).

Hopefully this long post is helpful, good luck discerning his voice and will.  Thoughts?

Definitely a sticky situation that we all face.

In general, if it's something that would be bothering me that much I would seek outside counsel in order to assist.

Answers can sometimes seem apparent, though that might be allowed in order to bring us to a place where we are truly willing or ready, or other things are in place, to receive the actual answer rather than have it just seem as such.

IF the answer is what I WANT, then I definitely pray more, research more, and will attempt outside counsel. If it's what I might not want, I try to prayer a prayer of resignation to the will of God and then seek outside counsel.

This all assumes the options don't have any sin involved in achieving them or otherwise are against my state in life, duties, etc.

Your question, often asked.. throughout history, I propose, is "discernment of spirits".  

Simple answer, there is no simple answer... but, you know that now.

Right off the bat, I appreciate your situation.  After decades of being in the battle, I am very cautious of any 'voice'.  For me, from the start of any prayer or 'accepting' any 'spiritual' input.

To start that process, I place myself at the site of "The Annunciation", the Birth of John the Baptist (a wonderful story of God's power and prophecy), Jesus' birth, Presentation.. each of the celebrated times of His life, sacrifice and resurrection. However, I return to the foot of The Cross... If any 'message' is not bracketed by praise to God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, I 'rebuke' it then immediately return to Jesus' gaze from his Cross.

During that time if the 'voice' is not praising Jesus Christ as the Son of God, remember it...for it is not "with or from God".  Evil cannot tell the full truth.  Therefore, we must

The Church knows a lot about experience with God and the forces making war against God.  The prophets did not cease to be sent by God after the Bible was written. There have been Catholic 'visionaries'... even American ones..  a search of "Catholic visionaries" will yield many posts... and the Church is replete with experiences and validation, or reproach, often from Saints, who would constantly test the 'voices' whether they were from God, or not.  

The Church teaches that God does indeed "speak" to His children.  The method for validation is not precise, but has some basis.  

1- feeling a 'call' from God, or a response from a petition to Him.
2- humility to God's direction
3- In all things praise to God alone

In all things, Praise... humility...

This does not preclude asking for God to reconsider what we think he is saying.  Just as Noah and Moses petitioned God to 'change His mind', we can ask for clarification, or pray for others.  

When in prayer, how to discern "spirit" or voices you feel/hear?  There are individual 'words' given to us, so it may not include intentions of others... but must be deeply discerned as well.  

As above, petition with humility and praise...  

Consider Padre Pio... Let me condense. The man, the Priest, was attacked by satan and evil spirits, even when presiding at Mass... He explains God calls us each to reconciliation as part of our spiritual awakening and humility to God's loving authority.  Clearly in his example, God's way is not the cheap way...

In closing for now, know God does accept 'intercessory prayer' from us and the College of Saints... and so we stand and pray that God acknowledge by His peace, which alone surpasses all understanding...

I was wondering just this evening what's coming next. It seems I'm just along for the ride.

Is the choice between two goods or between evil and good?  If the latter, then you are not hearing God.

Are you indifferent to the outcome?  If not, pray, asking for the grace to accept God's will and be indifferent to the outcome.

Does what you're hearing agree with God's word (scripture)?

Does it sound like God (like a father)?

Does what you are hearing bring peace?  This one can be tricky.  If you are in God's graces, then what you're hearing should bring you peace, at least over time as you become used to the idea.  If you are not in God's grace (e.g. living in mortal sin), then God's word may bring you consternation.  

Been a busy couple of days, so just getting back to this. Trying to address all of the questions...

1. I am not living with mortal sin, and generally do a decent job avoiding it.
2. The request is admittedly self-serving but not necessarily selfish. It is not a "right vs wrong" dilemma, more of a " I'd like this situation to turn out like this". I have acknowledged this in prayer.
3. I have acknowledged that this situation could be something He doesn't want for me.
4. Without exception, every time this request is made I make a point to acknowledge "according to Your will" and "trying to trust You".
5. I haven't heard anything that would obviously be against His will.

If people buy into the idea that God is omniscient, then God knows everything about us, and everything will encounter, want, need, or think about from the moment of our conception until our death.  IF it is true that God is omniscient, then there really isn't any need to pray to God, because God would already know what we are going to want, need, or ask for.

God doesn't "need" our prayers as God already knows everything.  Saying that God wants, needs, desires our prayers would indicate that God is vain in wanting/needing/or desiring our prayers or worship, and that would indicate that God isn't perfect.  Even saying that God "appreciates" our prayer doesn't make sense because God would already know our hearts and whether we are truly grateful for God's blessings or gifts or whether we take those blessings for granted.

Prayer does benefit the person doing the praying as it is a form of personal affirmation or meditation. But God doesn't need or want our prayers as God already knows everything.

Everyone else is of course free to have their own views.  I don't attack anyone else views, nor do I feel compelled to defend my own views.   So for those who would hope to engage me in some kind of debate or discussion about their views VS my views, save yourself the time.

Hmm...just like your post in the other thread you've set yourself up with quite the position: "I want to be able to say whatever I want in here, and don't bother even saying anything different because I won't listen".

If someone tries to show evidence that could prove your assertions wrong, you don't even have to look at it. You can't ever be wrong if you can't be show that it is possible.

Ah, but "I still better have the right to say my piece, just don't say yours".

Seems like a heck a way to go through life...head in the sand and angry when others walk by.

If things are easier indeterminate, then either do what you want to do or pray something like "God, I've asked for an answer about _______ and I haven't heard one.  If You don't give me a clear sign by _______, then I am going to do it".

This is where I landed on my own, but I also believe that the apparent yes I got could also be a short term affirmative in preparation for something else.

Sometimes the answer is “Wait.”

More often than not.

I've never been able to determine things like, and don't trust that an answer that seems right to me must be from God. I've said that I've had a strong feeling that I should do something, but can't take it beyond that.

What I have seen though, is times where something random turns out to be important. One example is is a friend of mine who I hadn't talked too in years, and I suddenly felt like calling him. I called him, and he seemed a bit awkward at first, and then told me that he was driving out somewhere to kill himself. We talked for a while, and before the call ended we were talking about meeting somewhere.

I never had the feeling *God told me to call him*, but after the call I thought *How else would I have gotten the feeling to call him at that moment?*.

For the stuff we're wanting to do, I think we're most often just left to determine what's right on our own.