Wife of 9 years now wants divorce says unhappy for over a year and never said anything till last week. Already moved out and no contact besides nasty texts from her since. Possible affair that has now become a relationship.

Any truth that you can sell your guns or ammo for $1 to say friends/family if its done before any paper work is even thought of being started? Had a friend say he's seen it happen twice. not sure if true.
House is only in my name and almost paid off and being told 1/2 equity is now split?
25 silencers and two sbrs involved among other items. just say its a lot of stuff.....

Any help much appreciated.

Please consult an attorney in your state who specializes in representing MEN in divorces.

Dude, take a day or two off and have a (usually free or small fee) consultation with as many divorce attorneys in your area as you can.

If it were me, I'd store the guns/ammo/etc. in a locked safe at a good friends house off-property for the time being.

FPNI

stay in the house. contact attorney ASAP.

I would hesitate to make any financial decisions right now if a separation has occurred.

she is for real entitled to half the marital assets.

Which county?

You aren't going to transfer NFA items quickly and for a dollar.  Aren't they in a trust?

Did you pay off the mortgage before being married?  You may have substantial separate property.  

Those are legal issues.  People who aren't nuts don't get divorced; they agree on the terms of a dissolution.

You're fucked, OP.  


I'm not a lawyer, but I know you're a Man.   A Man with guns, and a pissed off soon-to-be-Ex who thinks she's already setup with the Replacement, and thus finds you expendable.

Be VERY careful what you say to ANYONE, and be nothing but nice in all texts and phonecalls and social media posts.   It wouldn't be the first time someone tried to pigeonhole someone's character to better their divorce settlement.  Moreso once the "friends" start giving her "advice."  

Take a day off, talk to the lawyers.   Keep your mouth shut and your opinions to yourself until the paperwork is finalized.

Laws vary from state to state.  As others have said, lawyer up immediately.

Also, you should ignore all communications from her starting now unless your lawyer specifically advises you to have a dialog with her.  There is nothing you can say directly to her that will help you, you will more than likely shoot yourself in the foot if you haven't already.

Try posting in Ohio HTF and congrats! Are you Columbus from the 161 username?

good luck bro

It's a safe bet that she not only already has a replacement male, but also an attorney.

Post pictures please.

..of these 25 suppressors and 2 SBRs.

Do NOT try to hide or sell assets.  You are going to need to declare all currently existing assets and all debt in writing for the court, then decide who is going to get what asset and what debt.  Judges are not dumb and if it's brought to light that you are attempting to hide value (by selling it or otherwise), the judge is suddenly not going to be very happy with you and bad things will follow.

A note about debt, divorce decrees are NOT agreements with financial institutions.  What matters is who's name is on the debt, not what the decree says.  If you and your wife decide that she will pay for credit card X and that is in the divorce decree, credit card X is going to give fuck all if your (ex)wife stops making payments, about what the decree says. They didn't make any new agreements in the divorce and they will come after the person who's name is on the account (your name or both your names).

In order truely transfer a debt from one party to another in a divorce, the debt needs to be refinanced (with the lender) in that person's name only.

First off, get a good lawyer.

Next, don't try to hide assets. Instead, freeze all credit; get all your titles, deeds, and bank statements organized.

Ohio differentiates between marital assets and personal assets. If you owned it before you were married, it remains yours. If it was acquired after the marriage, half is hers, no matter who paid for it.

My ex had been married before, and assumed all states split all assets down the middle in a divorce. When she left me for a younger guy, she counted on getting half the proceeds from the house, vacation property, cars, motorcycles, and also latching on to half my retirement annuities. Guess what? They all were purchased or earned before the marriage, and stayed mine. She got a houseful of furniture, one car, and a permanently upraised middle finger from me; nothing else.

Going through a very similar story. Lucky my ex-wife didn't do a great job in her discovery and didn't care too much about my personal items. Tools, guns, ammo, etc. Keep anything valuable locked up at the house, change the safe combo. lock up ammo.

Def see a lawyer.

Any debts that are hers or in her name, stop paying them. stop giving her money for anything. keep paying debts in your name (house, cars).

what sucks the most, is she's been thinking about this for a year, and has had time to cope, get advice from her shitty divorced friends. Get a lawyer. Most will consult for free. Hire one. Hope you can reach an agreement before it goes to court.

I made some big mistakes be I caught her cheating. Outfitted a new house, transferred her debt to my name.

PM me if you want to talk. Been separated since last july, just reached an agreement this month.

Save the texts and say nothing to her.

Does anybody ever cash out and move to a non extradition tropical country?  Why submit to indentured servitude?

This.  IANAL, but I've heard divorce judges can get pretty nasty if you pull any shenanigans to hide assets.  Unless she doesn't know what guns you own or she has a shitty divorce attorney you are probably setting yourself up for a judicial bitch slap.

ETA Stay away from alcohol, social media, and your soon-to-be ex.  Emotional and/or intoxicated people do stupid things and you can't afford stupid right now.  Any conversations between you and the ex should be minimal, cordial, and documented if possible.  Don't give her any rope to hang you with before you get in touch with an attorney.

nvm.

People with enough money to do that usually have the foresight to take care of the problem short of moving.  It's a move that really takes several million.

If she left, change all the fucking locks. Change any and all passwords. Lock it all down, meet attorney ASAP

Hire an attorney as soon as you can.

Remove all the firearms from the house.

Lock down your bank and credit card accounts.

Did I mention to hire an attorney?

All great advice. Went thru it and was the most stressful two years of my life. The key for me was getting the right lawyer....had to fire the first one..only after she burned thru my $20 k retainer. Good luck...and think forward.

In Ohio it's like winning the lottery for a woman. That is a quote from a divorce attorney.

I am curious about items owned by a trust.

Does she know you have 21 Suppressors and all the gun stuff? If not I wouldn't be posting what you have on the internets....

As others have said, meet several lawyers choose the one thats going to be the most agressive/best reputation, change the locks, passwords, get all your shit in order and present it organized to lawyer, the easier you make the job for him the less he will have to charge you.

This is the wrong place to ask for divorce advice.

Also, nuke that OP.
Her attorneys WILL scour through all of your social media.

I see a lot of good intentions in this thread from people who've been through the process as clients.  Yet, just as you wouldn't take tips on cardiac bypass surgery from someone just because he had a zipper scar on his chest, taking guidance from the walking wounded of domestic courts may not be prudent.

Getting the most aggressive DR attorney is likely to get you the longest divorce and the highest bill, and insure that your soon to be ex gets the same kind of counsel.

I went through this 15 years ago, in Ohio, and kept my rather large gun collection. It can be done, I had a great lawyer and had to allow her to take other assets from the marriage equal to the value of the guns I bought while married. The biggest thing is to make sure you stop her from incurring new debt, you will be in the hook for half. My lawyer had to slap my ex with a restraining order forbidding her from entering into new debt. This saved my rear when she violated the order, bought a new car, and tried to have me pay half. Same for the credit cards she obtained and maxed out. Get a lawyer today. You will come out of this just fine.

Unpossible. ARF told me that marriage is the only way to be happy and finding a good woman easy.

Seriously, get a lawyer.  Best of luck OP.

Go back to the house. She can come and go as she wishes. Don't try to get rid of any assets or hide them. Chances are her attorney will have seen such a thing about 1 billion times.  Lawyer up. I am three years into in Ohio divorce and no end in sight.

Get thee to a lawyer, NOW!  You'll get to keep pre-marital assets but everything else goes 50/50.  You'd be wise to maybe be a bit flexible on marital assets if it lets you keep your NFA stuff.  Get a real lawyer.  Not one of these kids who wander around all day long looking for someone to fix their paperwork and show them how to tie a tie.  Set realistic goals and then don't get all emotionally involved in it.  It's a strictly business transaction now.  The quicker you resolve this, the better.  

Any kids?  

Divorce has 4 components:
Custody split
Child support
Distribution of assets
Alimony

If no to kids, congrats, you're halfway there and that's usually the most contentious part.  Given that she up and left i'll assume you don't.  

Distribution of depends on the state.  Some states are community property and some are equitable distribution....both mean that you're more or less on the hook to lose 50% of your marital assets.  And more than likely that's 50% of all of your assets unless you have a prenup...9 years in i'd imagine you have a significant amount of comingling of pre marital stuff with marital that can be difficult to impossible to prove is your sole property.  You'll be required to disclose all assets during the divorce proceedings.  Home, Guns, furniture, vehicles, etc...anything of significant value.  I would recommend against hiding assets (selling them for $1) as the judge will throw the book at you if you are caught.  (i.e. you say you have only 5 suppressors but she took pictures of 25).  If she told you last week that she's out, most likely she's been planning it much longer.  

Alimony is based upon "need" of one party and "ability to pay" by the other.  Other factors go into it but those are the main ones.  If you make 100k and she makes 25k, expect to pay a significant chunk to her for 1/3 to 1/2 the length of the marriage.  If you both make roughly the same you'll be slim to none.  If she makes more than you, hit her for everything you can....if it's good for the goose, it's good for the gander, right?  One thing that can affect this (depending on the state, court district, judge) is "relative fault".  If she's engaged in infidelity you could get off the hook for some or all on the alimony.  

Hire a competent attorney who knows the court system in your AO.  He'll be able to give you a lowdown on what you're looking at.  Since she dipped on you, try to get an order of exclusive use of the marital home so you don't have to live with her through the divorce process. (note you would likely have to pay her support if you do though).  If you want to pursue fault-based divorce you may want to interview a PI as well.  

Get a Digital audio recorder and run it whenever she's around to protect yourself from false DV charges.  Ask me how i know this.  

Have you been served with papers yet?  If not, get your attorney and file asap.  A competent attorney will have a better idea for who will rule most fairly in your favor and who will fuck you for being a man.  Filing first makes a difference.  

Get in the gym if you're not already.  It'll help you keep your head right through this.

OP needs to go in assuming he will need an aggressive litigator.  If the ex is reasonable through the proceedings he can manage the attorney and keep his dog at bay...hopefully they'll get it done in mediation and not have to go through the courts.  But if they do, he'll want that aggressive litigator.

Good thing is the used market on suppressors is shit...

so, you own 25 suppressors, used value is 100 - 200 each.

so, give her 2K (half the value of the suppressor collection) and call that done.

Just went through this myself last year.... it sucks.... but....

Question : Why is divorce so expensive?

Answer : BECAUSE ITS WORTH IT!!!

Good luck, brother.

First thing I would do is close down all your social media, and contact a good attorney.

Consult an attorney.

The trick is keeping it a dissolution. Things are less formal in a disillusion and as long as everybody agrees to the agreement, the Judge/Magistrate usually doesn't question it too much. That's how mine went, anyways. "I keep the firearms." was spelled out in the agreement. She gets "x, y, z", ect.

Now, the trick is: SHE has to agree to it. How badly does she want out? Like mine, it sounds like she wants out pretty badly. That means you can dictate terms somewhat and maybe sell her on "If we go this route, you won't need to waste money on a lawyer. Mine can write up the agreement.". I told right off that I wouldn't give up any of my guns and I'd draw the divorce out as long as I could, if she went for them.

Oh, and keep in mind, if she agrees to pay for something, it'll cost you to try to make her. My wife got our truck, with the agreement that she would pay it off. In writing. She didn't and they started coming after me. Emailed my lawyer and was told we could go back into court, and they'd tell her to pay it, but if she didn't, they probably wouldn't do much about it. He told me it was probably less expensive to just pay it off (owed $1500). I also got a bill for 1/4 hour of his time.

That's my experiences, anyways, worth about $0.02.

Plant some coke in her purse problem solved.

Yes. She’s having an affair.

Mine stated in the MDA that she had to pay off her vehicle, refinance, or i could sell it to satisfy the debt.  Failure to comply with terms of the MDA will get them slapped with contempt.  

What county OP?

Lawyer Up.  ASAP.

And no, all the internet advice about "the easy trick to hide your assets" isn't really true.

Stay in house. Take your stuff out of the house to a friend. Also move your banking to a new bank not just a new account at the same bank. close all cards and joint accounts

What guns?

Do not be the dumbass that lists his complete inventory  in legal documents because that now becomes potentially public record depending on your state laws.  

She wants out make it easy for her to get out and don’t be an ass, BITE YOUR TONGUE and you’ll come out ahead in the long run.  I know it’s super fucking hard but you want to play the long game here remove all emotion this is now a business transaction.  Love is gone you’re not getting her back this is strictly business Now.

Call her and tell her that you want to make this easy and you both work with the same lawyer who is basically your paper man  for a non-contested divorce.

Doing it any other way only cost you money and as my attorney friend said you just end up buying your attorney a Porsche only to get the same result

Yeah, I probably should have had it worded that way, but I took her at her word.

Last mistake I made with that one.

Good advice here, OP. Five week “cooling off period” in Ohio for a dissolution.  Market the dissolution as a fast out so she can get on with her life.  Sorry for the news.  Stay strong, brother.

Ohio's divorce laws are about average.

Anything of value acquired during the marriage gets split 50/50.

Spousal support exists, but is far from universal.  If you have relatively equal earning potentials it doesn't usual get ugly (Don't get married and let your wife play housewife unless you consider that, or have enough kids to make it makes sense).

OP doesn't mention kids,  so my guess is spousal support is going to be 99% of the argument. This is why you need an attorney, now.

Ask a lawyer. But doesn’t a person get to keep their personal items?  For example a woman’s jewelry case and it’s contents. Mine told me that, but your in another state.

OP hasn't set forth enough information to assume he will need an aggressive litigator.  Too often, the attorney for a party in a divorce isn't the one being controlled, and the parties to the marriage are easily manipulated into making the fight worse, particularly if funding for a fight is available.

In Ohio, a party's allegation of infidelity isn't going to make a difference in property distribution or spousal support, and being the first to file may set off a cycle that diminishes the chances of an agreed settlement.  In almost all failed marriages, someone feels hurt and can be goaded into vindictive action.

I've done it for people both ways, and made a lot more money when they fight.  


The way a sane person does this in Ohio involves both parties coming to an agreement on terms, and only then filing for a dissolution.  Two months later we all go see the judge and they are done.