I have had a rough start to 2020. I don't see the need to go into details but my family let me down big time. I also feel somewhat betrayed by my husband and his best friend who claims that I am like family to him. A little back story I had surgery and was completely dependent on my husband. My husband had his job bumped (someone with my seniority than him took his shift) and he could have taken a similar shift (making about $10 less than previous shift). He was all set to take this shift but his friend called him and talked him into this shift that essentially left me alone 24/6. I had talked to them both and let them know that I couldn't handle it. The bf called me personally and tried to talk me into it but I was very clear I couldn't handle it on my own yet. Anyway he proceeded to talk my husband into it. I hold my husband accountable for his decision and we are working on things. I have had other falling outs with him lying to me and etc so I blocked him from my phone and let him know I was mad. I  wasn't vindictive I just told him that he was my husband's friend and I was done with him. I have been working on my anger and forgiveness. I am about 70% over my anger and I have been praying for him and for me to forgive and forget.

my question is what more can I do? Do I need to talk to him. I don't mind talking to him but he's a user. I know as soon as I talk to him he will want stuff from me that I am not ready to give. Obviously I haven't completely forgiven him.

I think you did the right thing being done with him, any contact will just feed your anger IMO. Forgiveness takes time and reflection, you can't make yourself forgive someone no matter how hard you try. Sorry I can't be of more help but hang in there you have a lot of friends here.

I think you did the right thing being done with him, any contact will just feed your anger IMO. Forgiveness takes time and reflection, you can't make yourself forgive someone no matter how hard you try. Sorry I can't be of more help but hang in there you have a lot of friends here.

Forgiveness only comes at its own pace. If you were clear to them about your needs and they went ahead and did the opposite of your desires anyway, then I would have no qualms about telling them to FO until I was good and ready to see them, which might be never.

Obviously your husband has his own cross to carry in this.

Thank you for your support. I really appreciate it. My husband is trying to make amends and I am thankful for that.

IMO, you are right in holding your husband accountable, he ultimately had the decision on this.  Although the best friend claims you are like family, (& he may be sincere in that),
but he is still hubby's best friend. He is going to work the angle that works best for him & your husband. Friend should have still honored your request, but I know many guys who
will not do that.

I think you're fine blocking him, but you should be cordial with him.  If the opportunity comes up to talk to him and "vent" , then do so. Let him know how you feel.

Try to forgive him, completely... turn it over to God.

BUT, if he is a user, always be mindful - can you really trust him anyway??  Hopefully your husband also keeps that in mind.

I don't believe forgiveness means you have to trust him, or go along with his bad choices. (the friends that is)

Good luck

Edit- good to hear this -  "My husband is trying to make amends and I am thankful for that."

First off, I'm sorry you're going through that.  I have no way of knowing what you're going through, so the following is just perspective based on my own experiences, and not necessarily direction for you.

On the forgiveness, I'm afraid it's as simple as "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."  If we don't forgive, how can we ask forgiveness from God in light of the previous prayer?  Easier said than done, I know.  What seems to work for me is praying for the offending party.  You don't necessarily have to bring him into your family if you think that he will bring harm, but you do need to forgive him.  Additionally, your husband is an adult (I'm assuming and hoping ).  He is responsible for his own decisions, regardless of what his friend advised.

On the disappointment with your husband, again too many unknowns and it would be presumptuous of me to even pretend to understand, but please consider the pressure and weight responsibility that husbands and fathers face to support their families.  That is one of our chief reasons for our existence.  Not being able to provide is one of the greatest fears.  I don't know what your husband makes, but I would think that $10/hour is a significant cut for most people.  Maybe he thought leaving you alone for longer than you would have liked, while not perfect, was a better alternative to not being able to make a mortgage payment, or having a lien against the house for not being able to pay bills, etc.

I'll add you all to my morning prayers today.  God bless.

My husband and I are doing better. He is target fixated on completing the remodel of two rental property he purchased. He has been arranging his schedule so I have a few hours a day. My attitude is improving. His friend called tonight. I had an urge to talk to him but I just need peace.

Sounds like you're handling a hard time fairly well.

Keep praying, pray for your husband to be the kind of man God directs husbands to be. Also pray for his friend. I'm sorry you have found your self in this situation, but you never know what may come of it. How you handle it is an opportunity to be a testimony.

Pray for him, your husband, and yourself.

I'm sorry, that's all I've got.

When I don't know what to do I just go to God. He always knows what to do.

Ask Him for help.