https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/did-millennials-finally-kill-flirting

Many women dream about how they will finally meet the man who becomes their husband.

They think up numerous romantic scenarios  maybe he'll approach while I'm sipping a latte in a small coffee shop. Maybe he'll strike up a conversation with me in an elevator. Or he'll spot me on the street and not be able to resist saying hi. He'll approach, we'll flirt, exchange numbers, and the rest will be history.

But in the modern age, it's just not so. Young people increasingly meet online, and the Millennial destruction of traditional social mores has pretty much killed flirting.

Gone are the days of meeting in the park, at a dance  or even at the bar, really. Men just don't approach women to flirt these days  and it's largely feminism's fault. But there is something we women can do about it.

How We Killed Flirting

The death of flirting occurred under the perfect storm of the #MeToo movement, campus sexual assault panic, "street harassment" hysteria, growth in feminist ideology, and a newfound obsession with "consent."

During #MeToo, the media (and social media) was flooded with stories of women retelling instances of misconduct. But what started out as tales of genuinely immoral behavior soon morphed into something else  women were claiming misconduct when a man was simply approaching her to signal his interest. Even if he had done so rather awkwardly, or misread her and failed to comprehend her lack of interest, the idea was that he had crossed a line he shouldn't have.

Suddenly the phrases "unwanted advance," "unwanted hug," or "unwanted kiss" were everywhere. Despite the behavior being branded as "unwanted," in many instances, the woman hadn't made it clear that she wasn't interested in the first place. Women seemed to be expecting men to read their minds and claimed zero responsibility for their role in holding a boundary. Then, they branded the man as a predator.

Now, many of these women probably genuinely believed it was the case that they were harassed. This is because we have expanded the definition of "harassment." In the past, something was only harassment if a boundary had been clearly established or communicated, and then someone repeatedly transgressed it. Not any more. Now the mere expression of interest can be considered a potential violation.

It's the natural progression of the false idea that men are the oppressors of women and should be viewed with suspicion. This worldview has totally killed flirting.

Men Are Now Too Afraid To Approach

After years of being told that unwanted advances = harassment, men simply don't want to risk approaching women out in the real world, for fear of being accused of a dark motive later.

Before this sterilized culture emerged, we would naturally send signals, some subtle and some overt, that acted as clues for us to determine if someone were romantically interested. Maybe we caught their eye across the room and held their gaze. Maybe we smiled at them on the bus. This would be the signal for a man to make a more overt move  approaching us to chat or ask for our number.

But why would a man make a more explicit move  or start the flirtatious dance at all  if he fears he'll be rebranded as someone sinister just for doing so?

Instead, men now approach only where it's safe  on a dating site, where a woman's mere presence signals openness to being approached. How very safe and tidy  but it also takes a lot of the excitement and spontaneity out of life.

Feminism sought to shift the power dynamics between men and women, and shift them it did  right into total sterility. We're now firmly held inside a bubble-wrap culture in which women view the mere expression of interest as a potential violation and men are too afraid to make a move for fear of being branded "creepy."

How Women Can Bring Back Flirting

The saddest thing about the death of flirting is that it eradicated the air of potential romance and hopeful expectation that a young woman could feel when she leaves her house. If men weren't so afraid to approach us, the right man for us could always be just around the corner, lending our experiences an air of magic and mystery. Instead, that hope is never present. We find ourselves swiping on dating apps instead.

If we want to revive a culture where it's okay to flirt, the onus is really on women to make it clear to men that we're okay with being approached in public  that we're either going to accept their offer or politely decline, not brand them as a creeper if we're not interested. (Men, of course, also need to clearly read our signals, whether they're signals of interest or disinterest, and be willing to go away when we say no.)

Feminism has told women that we lack power, which is a lie. The reality is that women are alluring, and as such, we hold a lot of power. Masculine energy pursues, while feminine energy responds and receives. Being on the receiving end of romantic advances means we have all the power to say yes or no. We're the gatekeepers of romantic encounters.

If we women want to reverse this culture where men think they shouldn't ever approach us, we need to learn how to be open to advances while also clearly communicating our boundaries when necessary. Instead of being quick to accuse men of predatory behavior when we simply aren't interested, we can learn how to gracefully rebuff unwanted approaches while still being open to making new connections.

We could learn when it's time to say "no," but also how to be polite while doing so, instead of automatically branding him a creep. For instance, if a man you aren't interested in gets the wrong idea and asks for your number, you can politely decline   "I'm very flattered, but I don't have romantic feelings for you." Or if he touches you in a way you don't want him to, say, "I'm sorry if I gave the wrong idea, but I should let you know that I'm not interested."

It's largely up to women to end this culture of fearful puritanism. We need to stop assuming that every time we're approached, it's some gross violation. Women need to remember the power we have when it comes to men  we have the power to decline an unwanted advance firmly without treating every advance as an assault.

Closing Thoughts

The feminist Millennial culture that has equated any discomfort with the violation of boundaries has eroded all the fun that men and women used to have in flirting and seeking a partner out in the wild. Many men have responded to feminist ideas that they ought to be viewed with suspicion by refusing to approach women in the real world entirely. But we can revive flirting if we handle male advances with grace, class, and a willingness to clearly communicate our boundaries.

Here's how to flirt.

Don't be 285 pounds.

Smile and be interesting to women.

Profit.

Thats a very wordy way to state that only difference between flirting and harrassment is the level of her interest

Is OP Joker?

Added in a few important factors that have became requirements lately.

This story is pretty much BS, there is still plenty of flirting going on for those that actually get out of the house.

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They're not though. Women want to laugh, be made to feel special, and not be physically repulsed by your naked body. You don't need to be Adonis. You need to be interesting.

Sounds like something an uninteresting fat guy would say.

Phew, I snuck in just under the wire.

Too bad I'm only 5'4".

OP, GO BUY A FUCKING HOOKER AND GET LAID! STOP POSTING RELATIONSHIP CRAP!

I still flirt. Seems like more girls are flirting with the guys now a days though.

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Dating in a Liberal city must be like tapdancing through a minefield.  You'd have to video every encounter with a woman just in case she tried to #MeToo your ass later just for the attention on social media.

I call BS.....Given that the schools are now filled with the kids of Millennials someone must have been doing some flirting/fucking.

That said I bet they won't have the ass to put a end to their kids from being masked-up forever.

LOLZ

If you need a few more tips, dress reasonably well. No, you don't need to wear imported London silk suits.

Bathe or shower regularly. I wouldn't think I have to remind people of this, but here we are.

If you have horrible teeth, get them fixed. Bad teeth are very distracting. Far more so than a potbelly gut or slightly out of date clothing.

And may I reiterate, BE INTERESTING. Talk about things you like. Stargazing is one thing. All women love looking at the stars, almost none of them do it regularly or know anything about it. If you can point out Mars or Jupiter, and which constellation they're in (only 12 to memorize, fellas) then her panties will get wetter than a mop in a bucket.

Yawn.

GenX killed flirting when they started banging underaged high schoolers while being teachers

You haven't been out much lately have you. Younger gals these days have quite the midset, even the ham planets demand turbo chads. I find it amusing and I foresee many younger ladies being old cat ladies in the future.

You hang around the wrong women.

In This Thread we learn who dwells in basements, never leaving, and who exists out in the world with their fellow human beings.

For What It Is Worth, a careful reading of the classic (for a reason!) How to Win Friends and Influence People always helps, as does practice existing in live society.

Reminds me of the thread about a week ago where posters here were soiling themselves when they found out I change clothes several times a day. You know, after working out... coming home from work... before going out to eat or meet friends. Amazing how many stinky pigs there are out there in the world today, even more amazing is how many of them don't even know it.

I guarantee flirting is alive and well.  Quit reading media articles

LOL have you been out lately? Most guys are not 6' 4" and built like defensive linemen. Most guys are overweight.

Be interesting. Don't be disgusting to look at naked. Be confident. You will have a river of pussy.

They hit it pretty good, but left out that if women want romance and a committed relationship, fucking guys on the first date via dating apps is the wrong way to get a committed relationship. Why buy what you already get for free, etc. also, they bitch about guys being deadbeats, no job, etc, well fucking deadbeats who still live at home, ensures said deadbeats have no reason to become better. no one has standards  anymore beyond looks though, and while looks will get you fucked, it takes more to get a husband, and while women control sex and flirting and who gets to fuck them, men control if a actual serious relationship develops, and who they enter it with. Generally it’s not skanks they fucked via a dating app on the first date. After all, why commit to any one woman, when you have a dating app full of women will fuck you on the first date, even if your broke / jobless and living with your mom at 40 years old.

More women created problems.

Used to be a man had to be worth a shit for a woman to even consider going out with them,( because future planning required a stable home )  then they had to date a woman for weeks / months before sex happened, under the hope the guy was emotionally committed by then, and would not dump her the morning after screwing her. Which benefitted women greatly, as it got them a good man, and serious relationship.

Now they have this shit, where all they get is fucked and dumped, not to mention they made marriage / divorce a hell on earth for men, so fewer men want to marry at all.

That aligns with the majority of GD. But it's the truth. A lot of young women these days have some seriously unrealistic standards.

Greatest game ever!

Man, ain’t that the fuckin’ truth.

Crazy girls and fat girls always flirt with me at the gym.

Sane hotties never even notice me.

I don't hang around women, I don't have time to listen to their hen pecking. This has been observed over time in my area, and having conversations with younger fellas that I manage. This may be regional, but it seems standards have changed quite a bit these days.

Believe me, you didn't need to tell us. We know.

there's also plenty of crazy women out there who will mistake fairly innocuous comments or flirtatious behavior as sexual harassment.


One person I know is currently going through that.  He's being accused online of harassing some woman for making fairly harmless comments.  The same woman has a history of accusing others of the same thing.

Why would you flirt with someone that has a known history of accusing people of sexual harassment for nothing?

Sounds like a woman who went out with a man who beats women, and got beaten. Sorry it happened, but the fuck did you expect?

80% of American women are worthless, if they're not, they will be. If it wasn't for that thing between their legs, you would have as much interest as picking up a rattlesnake

This ^^^^^

Say the wrong thing or smile the wrong way and you are doomed.  Thank you liberal marxism.

kwg

Modern flirting...

Yea you're pretty much FOS and clearly don't get out much, especially with the younger gals you're claiming to be such an expert on. Both my wife and I are 21 thus hang out and associate with our "younger" peers, mostly thirty-somethings on down to teens. TG44 is pretty much spot on, sure there are always exceptions, but there always have been. I would 100% guarantee that the guys saying "Women only want _______" fall into more than one of the EXACT categories TG44  is talking about.

You often hear old couples with 30 -50 years of marriage say the guy had to chase her / badger her / wear her down for weeks / months to score a date. She told him no over and over and over and over, but his persistence, and ignoring her no, and Showing up to work, home, in public etc. which eventually wore her out and she finally said yes to a date, and he won her heart, and a long happy marriage.   Today it would get you arrested.  women want drama and acts like that, while doing their best to criminalize it.

first off, its not me...

second of all, the guy didn't know her history at the time.

You’re more fun when we disagree, so stop it.

If your only way to communicate is by typing on your phone, you’re probably a lousy conversationalist. Learn to speak to people face to face. Be confident, not a dishrag. Look at people when you talk to them. Be interested in what they have to say. Thing is, women’s fashion magazine articles and Oprah commentary aside, heterosexual women are attracted to men who act like men. It’s biological.  If you can entertain a woman, make her smile, show her a good time, while not acting like a sensitive semi-gay shopping partner or mealy-mouthed misanthrope, chances are you’ll get laid.  It might not happen every time, but it will happen.

True.  

But with women it's only harassment if your ugly to them.  It's very subjective.

I am pretty funny and can flirt pretty well.

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Yes you are 21 and already married, know everything already, and hang out with teenagers. Call me in 20 more when you've experience more life. Thanks.

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im just curious why OP spends so much time reading cosmo and the like

Oh pleezze....

It's not about a fear of harassment. People now a days are so scared and/or have no communication skills beyond emojis. They have turned into Simps and/or want "virtual" relationships. They are also very lazy, where they expect women to do all/most the work - while they just sit back and collect pics, tel. etc.

When I do online dating, I'm quick to recommend meeting offline and that's where they bail. They are comfortable wanting to chat, sext and/or exchange pics all day. I'm to the point where I'm like, 'No more pics and/or chat...let's meet in person over drinks and coffee, where there's no pressure and if you don't like what you see, you can leave; and, you can ask me whatever you like in person'.

But nooo, I guess spending $6 on a coffee is too much and/or is a committed relationship?

Then, of the people I've met offline. I must have bad radar. If they are already interested in and/or dating someone else - why not come out with it already? They'll chat with you, even take a number and just won't say what their situation is - even when you flat out ask them.

Lastly, there are guys who literally want to you to show up at their place - w/o meeting them firsthand. Really? Do I look like some mutation of Doordash and prostitute? Even "if" I'm not looking for a husband - don't I have a right to see who I'm dealing with offline before I even get invited for a nite-cap?

Uggh, I hate dating now a days....

So thanks Millennials...we have a generation of Simps, Limps, Lazy and/or illiterate "males" (not "men") out there who are more satisfied to follow some Thot's "Only Fans" - rather than get out there and actually communicate with others.

That was my first thought.
Joker covered this story earlier this week

40 year olds should have found a marriage material girl and settled down already.

If not, there may be something unappealing about you to the opposite sex.