Hi guys

 I'm new to cooking(divorced and learning).  I'm totally clueless as to what pots/pans/sizes I need.   I've looked at sets, but wonder if its the way to go, or if Im better off buying just the pieces people actually use.  I'm open to suggestions on what I will need, and what brands to buy, or stay away from.   My budget is $4-500
Thanks in advance

One style

Cast Iron. Properly seasoned and maintained they will last forever and cook almost any thing.

EBR

A single dude needs:

10 inch cast iron pan (this gives you something to argue about on the internet)
12 inch or larger non stick el-cheapo pan
small sauce pan for oatmeal/sauces (stainless for this, with a good cover)
medium sauce pan for noodles and making soup (stainless for this, with a good cover)

Plus, one indirect / direct electric countertop cooking device like InstaPot, AirFryer, toaster oven, toaster/convection oven. Pick whatever fits your style (slow cook vs wings and fries)

You will want a microwave as well but everybody has one without thinking about it.

Expand if you will have kids around.

10-12" nonstick. Tfal is cheap enough and holds up ok. Throw it away when it ends up scratched and buy a new one
10-12" cast iron. Just grab a lodge. They're everywhere and cheap.
8 quart pot, preferably something stainless for soups, broths, pasta..etc
3 quart pot for sauces, small things of soup, reheating foods
Baking sheets

That covers 90% of the cooking you will do. Once you're more practiced you'll identify gaps but have a better idea what you need for your use then

$500 for a divorced guy to get a set of pots and pans???

There’s this place called Walmart.

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Thanks for all the replies.  So far I do have a microwave, an instapot, crock pot, 6" Lodge dutch oven.  I do have custody of both my boys too :)
ETA: Im of the buy once cry once mentality, so I don't mind investing in something decent

A big stock pot for chili, soups, etc.  A six quart dutch oven works in a pinch as a substitute

a frying pan,....pick one.

a 2 quart sauce pan with lid
a 1 quart sauce pan with lid

maybe a third sauce pan of either of the two above listed sizes.

Don’t buy a set. There’s always pots in there you’ll never use.

When I rebuilt after a fire, I asked this question here. Best advice I got was buying some tri-ply pots from a restaurant supply house. I don’t remember the website, but look on Amazon. I’ve bought Volrath brand pots there before. All Clad is another good brand but they are pricey.

I recommend an 8ish quart pot for soups and stews, a 12 inch cast iron skillet with a cover, few smaller pots for sides, rice, etc,  maybe some carbon steel skillets.  Some half sheet pans too. Start with that and as you learn to cook you’ll figure out what you need and don’t need.

Costco or Sams club both have excellent deals on cookware packages. I do not recommend trying to buy one piece at a time, cant beat the bundles.
If you have a smooth top cast iron is a no go. Those cool looking chefs pans.... Don't. You need the best nonstick you can get.

A few of the smaller sets can be good buys, but most sets of pots and pans end up with several specialty pieces you rarely ever use. You need a good 8 qt pot for soups, stews and pasta, you don't need a 7 qt narrow deep pot with integral strainer dedicated for pasta as a standard 8 qt stock pot works just as well. You need 2 & 3 qt sauce pans, a 2 qt saucier is nice to have but not really necessary. You need a 12 inch skillet, with a lid. I find 10 inch skillets a little too small to make bacon as only the center piece of bacon fits in the bottom, the ones to either side end up going up the sides and don't properly fry on the ends. A lid is necessary for cooking some items as it traps steam that then cooks the top of the food instead of all the heat coming from the bottom. Makes a big difference on a grilled ham and cheese sandwich, or even just sunny side up eggs. A 4-5 qt saute pan is again a nice to have, but not necessary; you can use a 12" skillet instead. A good 6 qt cast iron dutch oven can replace the 8 qt stock pot initially, but it's better to have both. As time goes by you can buy some of the nice to haves that fit what you are cooking, like 10 inch and 8 inch skillets, 4 qt sauce pan, a 4-5 qt saute pan etc. I agree that buying a few quality pans is the way to start, cheap pans and skillets make cooking harder as they tend to burn the food with hot spots as they are too thin to properly spread the heat.

The type of stove you have makes a difference, induction stoves need to have iron/steel cookware - but cast iron tends to scratch and a dropped skillet can even break the glass top. Many stainless steel sets don't work very well as they aren't very magnetic, they will heat up but the same setting results in a cooler pan than a carbon steel pan. Carbon steel cookware works the best but takes more care and skillets need to be seasoned like cast iron if they don't have a stick-free coating. Electric coil stoves of whatever design are just more difficult to control the heat, and ones with glass tops over the burners just make this worse. They take more time to heat up and you tend to burn things setting the heat level too high initially trying to get the burner to warm up, which then ends up too hot for most of the cook time. Gas stoves are overall the most flexible and easiest to use, but the environmental nazi's have them in their sights and they are already banned in new construction in a few places.

I've bought sets earlier in life.  One of my biggest mistakes was buying into the Calphalon craze in the 80's.  All that stuff (and $$$!) eventually went into recycling or the dumpster.  I also gave up on the revolving door of buying a "quality" non-stick fry/saute pan every couple years and I own no non-stick any longer.

I'd agree with those here who advise getting just what you need.  The only thing I know about your style of cooking is that it will differ from mine.  Get the pans that will help you out the most.

For myself, I've found that the best "bang for the buck" is to get quality commercial cookware like Vollrath from an online restaurant supply house.  A couple of places that have worked well for me:
KaTom Restaurant Supply
Webrestaurantstore

If it holds up in a commercial kitchen, there's no way in Hades you're going to damage it short of a ball peen hammer.

My choices by function:

Frying/saute - Lodge or Matfer black carbon steel.  Sole exception here is a 14" Vollrath tri-ply stainless.

Sauce pans/stock pots: Vollrath tri-ply

Never buy a "cookie sheet/pan" (Walmart, Target).  Save money and get better results with 1/4 and 1/2 size commercial sheet trays.  I like/own/use Vollrath - YMMV.

Braising/roasting/baked pasta (e.g. lasagna, baked ziti, sausages, peppers and onions) - 1/4, 1/2 and full size stainless hotel pans.  Nobody tells you about these pans.  IMHO they're one of the great "secrets" of the resto biz.

What's missing?  Although I own some great CI ware, I now use it exclusively for baking, like cornbread or focaccia or Sicilian thick crust pizza. Why?  Carbon steel is lighter and easier to work with, creates a superb crust on a steak and is no more difficult to clean/care for then CI.  Not throwing shade at the CI aficionados in any way - you do you.

One underrated benefit of commercial sheet and hotel pans is everything is a standard size.  Therefore it all stacks and stores wonderfully saving space in your kitchen.

So, you see, I have no strong opinions on this subject!  

Just go to a restaurant supply place and get a few things.. you really only need one teflon pan, one or two pots, and one or two saute pans at most.
Just grab what you think you need.. you don't really need some cookie cutter set.

I'd recommend a Ninja Foodie set. They are pretty nice for a non stick pan set.

I like these OXO Bakeware 1/2 and 1/4 sheet pans. A little thicker than normal. Square rolled edge for rigidity. Made in the USA.

https://www.oxo.com/catalog/product/view/id/1275/s/non-stick-pro-2-piece-sheet-pan-set/category/198/