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Posted: 10/14/2021 2:30:19 AM EDT
She had a basset/beagle mix named Simon.  

Simon had a ballsack the size of a fucking grapefruit.   It just barely cleared when he'd waddle slow.  

So Simon would run a mile to my house and the fucking thing would look like it got caught in a weed whacker.  

He'd never complain to me but when I'd drive him home he'd hop out and start whining while dragging the fucking thing around until she lotioned up his ballsack.

What did we learn here today?
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 2:31:23 AM EDT
Let's Go Brandon
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 2:33:00 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/14/2021 2:33:35 AM EDT by DoverGunner]
You have a thing for scratched up grapefruit size sacks
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 2:47:06 AM EDT
You have interesting neighbors

Link Posted: 10/14/2021 3:01:40 AM EDT
Gotta admit, lotioning up my bag sounds intriguing
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 3:06:43 AM EDT
Was this when you live in Florida?
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 3:10:26 AM EDT
Wild-eyed Crazy Mary?  Did the road have a curve?  
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 3:16:06 AM EDT
She take a thunder from the mountain
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 3:36:55 AM EDT
Originally Posted By MshakeMO:

What did we learn here today?
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Wear underpants when you go for a run.
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 3:41:14 AM EDT
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Originally Posted By Barrelburner:
She take a thunder from the mountain
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You got to hide ee
Hide
Ee hide...
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 3:42:40 AM EDT
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Originally Posted By MotorMouth:


Wear underpants when you go for a run.
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This is probably the best takeaway.  
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 3:55:09 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/14/2021 3:55:35 AM EDT by MotorMouth]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By MshakeMO:

This is probably the best takeaway.  
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By MshakeMO:
Originally Posted By MotorMouth:


Wear underpants when you go for a run.

This is probably the best takeaway.  




Link Posted: 10/14/2021 3:55:20 AM EDT
Found a picture of Simon being blurry with Sam.

Unfortunately his nuts are just out of frame.  

Attachment Attached File
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 4:41:40 AM EDT
A mean old woman down the road I grew up on used to sick her dog on me and my friends when we were walking by her house.  Nowadays it’s a lawsuit but back then my parents said it would help make you run faster.
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 5:23:20 AM EDT
I thought this was going to be a Pixies thread


Link Posted: 10/14/2021 6:44:09 AM EDT
Lady goes to the vet with Muffy, who has a large hairy growth emanating from her posterior.

"Doctor, can you do anything about that big hairy growth there?"

Vet says, "No problem, here's a prescription for some ointment, just rub it on the hairy growth and it'll be gone in no time at all!"

Next day, the lady goes to the Pharmacy and presents the prescription to the Pharmacist. He looks at it and says.

"Wow! this is pretty powerful stuff. You'll have to be very careful when you apply this ointment".

"If it's for your underarms, make sure you don't use any deodorant for at least 2 days, otherwise you'll get a huge rash".

Lady says, "Ah but it's for" and before she could finish the pharmacists says:

"Well, if its for your legs, make sure you don't wear any tights for at least 3 days!".

Lady says. "No, No, you don't understand!"

"It's for my Schnauzer!"
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 7:15:48 AM EDT
Originally Posted By MshakeMO:
She had a basset/beagle mix named Simon.  

Simon had a ballsack the size of a fucking grapefruit.   It just barely cleared when he'd waddle slow.  

So Simon would run a mile to my house and the fucking thing would look like it got caught in a weed whacker.  

He'd never complain to me but when I'd drive him home he'd hop out and start whining while dragging the fucking thing around until she lotioned up his ballsack.

What did we learn here today?
View Quote


Neuter your male pets?
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 7:17:37 AM EDT
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 7:20:34 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Rhinodo99:
Wild-eyed Crazy Mary?  Did the road have a curve?  
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In an old tar paper shack?
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 7:22:55 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By dogsplat:

Lady goes to the vet with Muffy, who has a large hairy growth emanating from her posterior.

"Doctor, can you do anything about that big hairy growth there?"

Vet says, "No problem, here's a prescription for some ointment, just rub it on the hairy growth and it'll be gone in no time at all!"

Next day, the lady goes to the Pharmacy and presents the prescription to the Pharmacist. He looks at it and says.

"Wow! this is pretty powerful stuff. You'll have to be very careful when you apply this ointment".

"If it's for your underarms, make sure you don't use any deodorant for at least 2 days, otherwise you'll get a huge rash".

Lady says, "Ah but it's for" and before she could finish the pharmacists says:

"Well, if its for your legs, make sure you don't wear any tights for at least 3 days!".

Lady says. "No, No, you don't understand!"

"It's for my Schnauzer!"
View Quote

"Well then lady, in that case you'd better not ride any horses for at least a week!"

FIFY
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 9:05:11 AM EDT
Don't drag your nuts through the weeds
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 9:08:12 AM EDT
Granny had great hands?
Link Posted: 10/14/2021 9:15:51 AM EDT

I often wonder how big my beagles balls would be if he wasn't neutered. Dudes a strapping dog I bet they'd be some hangers
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