This may be a long story, so bear with me. I am not a good author.

I am a captain at a small volunteer fire department. Lately I have been missing a lot with my family to pursue higher and specialized fire department training.

Last weekend, with my Chief's permission (begrudgingly), I took all of the front line swiftwater gear and four other firefighters to swift water training out of town. As you can imagine, not all places are suitable for swift water training. We drove an hour and a half away, three days in a row, to complete awareness and operations levels training.

Sunday we were in the water all day doing training evolutions. We were at a rocky spillway. The water did stink,  but no mud. When we got back, we rinsed all of the gear off and laid it out to dry. The same as we always do with gear that has been used. I even turned all the gear inside-out so it would dry well.

I told the other station captain, the district chief, and the chief what I did. The chief suggested I wash the gear in the gear extractor and put it on the gear dryer at the other station. I told him simply that I didn't think it was needed but I would if he wanted me to. That was the end of the conversation.

Yesterday, I had more specialized training (live fire instructor) and had to leave early for the day. I made plans to have the gear put back into service while I was gone. I went by the station and checked before I left. It was all still wet. So I made other plans to have the gear cared for.

My chief found the gear in this state. He took the gear, washed it, and then put it on the gear dryer to try. He then sent me a text saying maybe when I go back this weekend (swiftwater technician), maybe they can teach how to care for the gear.

At last night's meeting he stated that the gear was souring, that it shouldn't have been laid out to dry on boat (as is standard practice at my department) and that he shouldn't have to take care of the gear. He said he should have left the gear so that we could go next weekend in nasty gear. He said our actions were unacceptable. All this was directed towards me, as I was the officer.

He pressure washed the gear (lightly?),  and then put it in the gear extractor to spin dry (because they state "hand wash only").

I felt like during the whole situation he was being disrespectful and was wrong. I followed our standard practices.

I don't think he wants us to take these classes. The last time we were scheduled for this training, he would not let us take the gear,  so we had to cancel. We have only three technical rescue people on the department- the youngest is 62. I am the fourth most trained person on the department and, because of my age, probably the most capable. We are the largest department in the county and the only one with any technical rescue capabilities. We are expected to be capable.

I am tired of him wielding his power over me. If I go and do something he finds unacceptable, I get my ass ripped. I the rules are always unclear and inconsistent. If I cancel, he gets what he wants. I usually fund my own training (state training is usually free, but gasoline, books and supplies) to keep from dealing with any of this.

I have been missing a lot with my family because of the training opportunities that keep becoming available lately. My department hasn't paid for any of them (only my certifications) except the swiftwater training (transportation and gear). I am consistently scoring at the top of all evaluations. I have had 120 hrs of off site training in the last month and a half.

I am thinking about going to him this morning and resigning the department. I feel like I have earned respect, but I am getting none from the chief.

Am I just being a diva?

Edit: Maybe the fire service. Maybe just temporary.

Let it burn.

I think you should speak to him, man to man, about your concerns first.

Working with a dick boss (DB) can be tough.  I, luckily, only had a couple in my career.  

As frustrating as it was at the time, I vowed to not let the DB win.  No DB was going to make me quit doing a job that I enjoyed and/or was a good learning experience.  I learned a lot about what not to do or be from them.  

You may just be tired right now from all the training.  Give it a while, get some rest and decide later what to do.

Volly? Bail. Let everyone else know why.

Dumbshit personal politics like that were the primary feature during my time at my local volunteer department. I left.

If you have to drive hours to find swift water, what are the odds you need that training.

I know you border ohio but I have only ever heard of one river catching on fire and that was cleveland, not cincy-nasty.

No. You are right. Some chiefs like to be tyrants. It is a major ego trip for them.  We had one just like that. I resigned after 19 years of service because of him.

He was only here 4 years because he left to go to California for a $200,000 a year chief position there.

Unfortunately, I was already out because he was saying he was going to be our chief until he retired and he is only 44. There were several of us that quit. He hired young new kids who worshipped the ground he walked on, and now the dept is staffed by kids with no experience. He got what he wanted.

We are sure he left due to shady business dealings. He was buying/taking people's property that he condemned. He was about to get caught, so he left.

Flash flooding is a thing.

It's hard to work somewhere that is ran by ignorant retards.

Sounds like you have two issues. One being an abrasive supervisor and the other being lack of family time. I wouldn’t put too much stock in the first issue. I would focus on spending more time with family though. I never hear anyone say how they wished they had spent more time at work. Work isn’t life. Your family is. The biggest part of most things in life is just showing up and being present.

Good advice. Also, as previous poster said, maybe try talking to him? Of course that's only an option if the guy is reasonable. Sounds more like he thinks he's the smartest guy in the room and just likes to throw his weight around. Maybe make a case to the powers that be for you to take over his job?

Why did you join?

Is that reason better than having some boss troubles?

Why would you stay?

Your Chief is a dooshbag, and most likely jealous of your abilities as one training in specialized rescue techniques.

Jealousy is endemic in a lot of public service / first responder professions. The best way to get back at those fuckers is to keep doing what you are doing and getting better. Do everything by the book so as not to give him a reason to bust your balls legitimately and smile in his face as he grimaces when he sees how much better at being a fire fighting professional  you are than he is.

The boss "suggested" you handle the gear one way and you chose to not heed his "suggestion". As a result he was unhappy.

What did you expect?

So your boss should just let you do it your way? Since your way is better.

I’ve heard this before.

You should definitely go somewhere else.

Take his job OP

i don't want to be a jerk

but if he's the boss -- and you're the subordinate you might be better off with this :

'hey chief -- thanks for letting us use the gear for training.  i'm going to clean it this way A. B, C -- is that fine by you ?' and then see what he says.

especially as you say there are no real hard and fast SOPs.

Managers like employees who elicit feedback and act on it appropriately.

Put yourself in his shoes.  He THINKS -- 'this guy bugs me about this training for weeks -- then drags out all the gear -- and then doesn't clean it properly'

that assessment may not be correct -- but its what he thinks likely.

Basically -- you get an 'A' for INITIATIVE -- scheduling / executing the training.   But a 'C-' for FOLLOWERSHIP -- getting everything put back up to a certain standard.

only you can decide if the juice is worth the squeeze long-term.   good luck

If you aren't on a career fire path and this is impacting your family negatively (it usually does, even when career) then it may be time to move on, I've seen this before and your chiefs either a mini ego fed tyrant who thinks he's always right and/or he doesn't respect you. The only thing that will end this is if he leaves a those like him (his minions) dissipate as well. Good luck, don't take any shit, they should be swooning over every single one of you still their helping and not being dicks...

This.

28 years in the fire dept.  I find I am much happier when I tell the Chief and or Director of Public safety what I think.  They don't always agree but I win a good % of my battles.

Pick your battles wisely.

your chief knows shit about leadership

I was going to say, there were a couple of guys with chief boners at my local Volly dept. That's cute and all but you speak to me like an equal, I volunteer to help, not be a part of this bullshit after school activity hierarchy game. I no longer volunteer.

To be fair, the only one I had beef with was a community college teacher and most of our younger vollys were in their early 20s, so he carried over his teacher persona. No thanks.

Did you catch the part where the boss washed the gear against the specs of the manufacturer?

Family first,

Also, speak your mind.

Volunteer get the fuck out

Full time gig?  Suck that sweet gov cock till your payday retirement

Did 7 years as a volley. Never again.

The fire service attracts some really narcissistic, glory seeking, power hungry a-holes.  Our current chief was that guy until he became chief.  He actually improved.  He fights the good fight constantly with city hall to improve our dept.  

Good luck OP.

The odds are great. We have multiple floods a year. I have been on multiple "rescues". Most are just standing water and relatively safe.

My county has a popular campground that had multiple calls a day during the height of covid. All those were rescued by bystanders.

2 years ago, I had to be rescued off of the Nuess river by a Volly fire dept. the river was 14 feet above flood stage, and I had lost an oar overboard on my rowboat.

I am very grateful for them.
All I have to add to the conversation.

Volunteer position? Bail. If the community wants professionals they can pay for them.

That is a huge thing. I have missed a lot. I have dedicated a lot to the department. Christmas eve (a few years ago), I spent the day pulling other people's families out of car wrecks instead of being with mine (before I had kids). Last Thanksgiving, I was protecting other people's homes rather than be at mine. Last valentines day I spent more time with a leave blower than I did with my wife.

I was taking officer 1 during the first two soccer games. Swiftwater Ops during the 3rd. I was planning on swift ops for thier 4th.

If I didn't know any better, I would think you are a guy I work with. He volunteers for a local fire department and has the exact same types of stories, often.

Not saying he, or you are wrong. But this is a common theme with volunteer departments. Lots of infighting.

I for sure don't want his job.

Because his way is objectively wrong. You don't put drysuits in a washer. Hand wash only.

This part isn't up for debate.

What I did was insufficient (I made plans to correct it). I am saying that I shouldn't been treated the way I was.

You lost me at VOLUNTEER and MISSING TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY. I left the volunteer fire service nearly 15 years ago now because of their unrealistic expectations. If on top of already unrealistic expectations they are discouraging or disparaging of your extra efforts to go above and beyond for additional training, coupled with having a family that is missing you, I would be walking in a second. You will never get this time back with your family and while serving your community is a noble cause, your duty to your family comes first. These volunteer fire departments need to get over their egos and form larger fire districts and put on paid cross-trained fire/EMS staff. Don’t you guys have county-based EMS services in Kentucky?

Not at all. I was following our practices. I was doing as I was told and as I was trained.

I am saying I shouldn't have got a stern talking to and the smart ass comments.

I did. If it was insufficient or incorrect, correct it. But be respectful.

There is a way to handle this.

He was completely wrong about the gear entirely. You did it exactly how it should be done. Rinse and let air dry. It isnt rocket science.

My question to you...It sounds like you arent getting what you want from this volunteer gig and that it is causing personal strife in your family life. Where is the mystery?

This.

Coming from a long time volly and former chief (youngest our department had had at the time), lots of the old head volly chiefs run the dept like their own little personal fiefdom and anyone who goes out and tries to excel they see as a threat. He knows you will have more training and experience than him (if you don't already), you're probably better with the rest of the guys than he is, and he finds that threatening to his title

ETA have a direct conversation with him about it, clarify that you felt it was unneccessary to call you out in front of everyone and put everything out on the table, including your thoughts about leaving. His reaction will tell you all you need to know about how to proceed

Cheif: Does the gear need to be washed? If so, it can be washed in the washer (incorrect). We have the dryer at station 1.

Me: It should be good. We weren't in mud, just stinky water. The PFDs and helmets probably just need to dry. The drysuits should dry quickly (also incorrect ). If you want, I can put them on the dryer.


That was the end of the conversation until his comments that I read as him being a smart-ass.

Cheif: Maybe they can teach you all on how to take care of your gear.


He found it as someone was following up on taking care of the gear.

I lasted about 6 months after my first was born. Turned out I already had enough going on in my life that was taking me away from my family, and dealing with petty ego-driven bullshit for the pleasure of spending even less time with them did not work for me. I do miss the training though, that was generally a lot of fun.

Edit: you're going to have to change your screen name lol

"We have only three technical rescue people on the department- the youngest is 62."

What happened to the days where men would go talk to each other like men and hash things out?

Volunteering a shitload of your time to hang out with bros and play with equipment seems like a lame alternative to spending time with your family or getting other productive stuff done.

I’d put that behind me and use your time doing things you enjoy more.

VFD is like a homeowners association only with an extra pyromaniac thrown in.


I'm less than inclined to take a ration of shit when I'm being paid for it, it just ain't happening for free.

If you quit you won't be FF208 ( firefighter 208, I assume ) anymore.

Volunteer Department?  Give yourself a demotion for a while.  Make sure you follow through on that demotion and do not under any circumstance overstep your new boundaries.  You always have the option of moving to a different volunteer organization.