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Posted: 5/12/2004 7:19:52 PM EDT
[#1]
OK, I know this is bleeding over into a general language bitch session, but:
Ass-SELerate for accelerate (akSELerate) exCAPE for escape (esSCAPE) esSTATIC for ecstatic (ekSTATic) Just heard a state rep refer to the fact that judges have a certain amount of "lean way" in making decisions. The fifth seal has been opened. |
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Posted: 5/12/2004 7:22:32 PM EDT
[#2]
Irregardless
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Posted: 5/12/2004 7:23:15 PM EDT
[#3]
1) Perpetrating
and 2) In my experience (Okay, it's three words, but it still counts.......) Actually, I've even heard a guy use "antidisestablishmentarianism", once. He was about as dumb as a barrel of hair. ANM |
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Posted: 5/12/2004 7:34:53 PM EDT
[#4]
The "t" in often was supposed to be pronounced. Webster's 1913 Of`ten\, adv. [Compar. {Oftener}; superl. {Oftenest}.] [Formerly also ofte, fr. oft. See {Oft}., adv.] Frequently; many times; not seldom. \Of"ten\, a. Frequent; common; repeated. [R.] ``Thine often infirmities.'' --1 Tim. v. 23. And weary thee with often welcomes. --Beau. & Fl. Like many words the prevailing pronunciation is eventually deemed correct. Aks (ask) has been used for 1000 years but it's still considered wrong, a pretty singular exception. |
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Posted: 5/12/2004 7:48:00 PM EDT
[#5]
Fully automatic bushmaster assault sniper saturday night special rifle weapon that allows more thrusts per squeeze.
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Posted: 5/12/2004 7:49:46 PM EDT
[#6]
H.L. Mencken used to refer to such pseudo-intellectuals using big words and a stilted writing style the same way Saddam's AAA in Baghdad was used for (fire for effect), as "bloviate". In grad school and as a teacher I had to read a lot of "bloviate" writing. Education professionals really know how to sling the jargon and happily murder the English (and German) language(s) in so doing. Unbelieveable. I'd be sitting there, reading some tract, for twenty minutes or so, and it would hit me: "Just what the f*&% am I reading?!"
I have always admired people who knew how to cut through the BS and wipe out "bloviancy" with logic and fire big, obscure words right back in the faces of the blowhards. I remember reading Robert Graves' "Goodbye To All That", in which he tells about being at Oxford University with his fellow student T.E. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia), a man who did not suffer fools gladly (even though many had thought him one in the past). One particular professor of rhetoric there was in the habit of using the most obscure words possible to describe the most mundane things, just to be a smug blowhard, letting everyone know his vocabulary was far superior to that of anyone else mortal. At one point, when Graves, Lawrence and a friend came back from a visit to London one evening, the professor asked Lawrence, "Was it caliginous tonight in the metropolis?" Lawrence shot back, ever so smoothly, "Yes, but not altogether inspissated...."   For those who might need it: www.dictionary.com (I sure had to use it to look up dem woids....  )
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Posted: 5/13/2004 3:58:56 AM EDT
[#7]
high rate of speed - speed doesn't have a rate, speed is a rate, where's fizassist when I need him?
utilize marginal "six a.m. this morning" allegedly the use of the personal pronoun "I" as the object as a sentence. For instance, "Joe went to the store with Bill and I." "I" is one of the objects of this sentence, and as such should take the objective form, that is, "me". If you take Bill away, the sentence becomes, "Joe went to the store with I." However, "Bill and I went to the store" is correct. This is middle-school grammar. That'll do for now. |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 4:13:36 AM EDT
[#8]
"axe" instead of "ask"
"Surreal" as in every dumbass actor/athlete/popstar. "Wow, it was like sooooo surreal to win that award". It's funny (in a sad way) how "wrong" words eventually become "legit " and part of our language. Growing up, my dad would go nuts whenever someone said "irregardless" claiming "that's not a word!". According to the dictionary, it's been a word since 1929. 'Course now we have words like "dis" in the dictionary. Go figure. R |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 4:19:23 AM EDT
[#9]
substantive
One of the new buzz words; I don't know if stupid people use it to sound smart, but people who are smart enough to know better insist upon using it to sound more authoritive or sophisticated. 
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Posted: 5/13/2004 4:22:32 AM EDT
[#10]
Ad Hominem
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Posted: 5/13/2004 4:34:08 AM EDT
[#11]
Some pet peeves:
ATM machine = automatic teller machine machine? WTF? Are people really that stupid? at the end of the day, .... = pseudo-Oxonian phrase used by liberal Hollyweird types to mean "when we add it all up, ....". access, used as a verb. It's not a verb- it's a noun. Lazy computer types came up with that one. to impact something, as in to affect something. Impact is violent. Affect is not. Construct, used as a noun. I REALLY hated hearing that one every freaking day of college by hoity-toity profs. "One ought to employ greater circumspection in ascribing full cognizance of the construct of Hegelian duality"......  Prioritize: Jimmy Carter came up with that one. That's a good enough reason NOT to use it!  
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Posted: 5/13/2004 4:43:28 AM EDT
[#12]
Beat me to it! Okay...how about: nonplussed, hold forth, valid issues, sprinkling their speech with the word had. |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 4:53:41 AM EDT
[#13]
That's the humor I was looking for. |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 4:56:00 AM EDT
[#14]
"Orientated" instead of "oriented".
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Posted: 5/13/2004 5:01:39 AM EDT
[#15]
Any 30 second sound byte from Rev. Al Sharpton.
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Posted: 5/13/2004 5:20:52 AM EDT
[#16]
It's not the words; it's when they take a 10-word sentence and add 25 more to it, then twist it into a circle.
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Posted: 5/13/2004 5:34:50 AM EDT
[#17]
High Falootin'
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Posted: 5/13/2004 5:41:21 AM EDT
[#18]
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Posted: 5/13/2004 5:45:29 AM EDT
[#19]
Conundrum
Enigma paradigm Quite frankly...... So that we're all on the same page,... Mostly anything one could read in "the one minute manager" |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 5:46:39 AM EDT
[#20]
religion of peace
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Posted: 5/13/2004 6:51:19 AM EDT
[#21]
"Certificated," meaning "possessing a certificate." The local school board often refers to "certificated personnel." Let's see. What does a certificate do? It "makes certain" or certfies that a person has accomplished a given thing. So, if a person's status has been certified, the person is certificated? WTF!
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Posted: 5/13/2004 7:00:24 AM EDT
[#22]
One meaning of certified is "certified insane". I leave it up to all to connect the dots on this with publik skool teechurz.....  FWIW, on my teaching certificate, it says my credentials are "good for life". Whose life?
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Posted: 5/13/2004 11:10:53 AM EDT
[#23]
And yet another one. I am reading a trial transcript in which the idiots involved including lawyers with doctoral degrees keep using the word "gift" as a verb. Man! That sets my teeth on edge!
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Posted: 5/13/2004 11:17:57 AM EDT
[#24]
If that don't beat all, Son. You's a smart one! |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 11:29:02 AM EDT
[#25]
"Mo' money, mo' money, mo' money..."
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Posted: 5/13/2004 11:29:27 AM EDT
[#26]
Ha! You hit the nail right on the head with that one. You must have been a business student. I just took an exam on that book and I can't stand all of that management crap. They have about a million different ways to say, "Do good". |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 11:35:12 AM EDT
[#27]
Do you know the four things that really, really motivate employees? 1. Decent pay. 2. Basic respect. 3. Health insurance. 4. Praise when it's earned, and occasionally accompanied by a crisp $50 or $100 bill. Everything else is bullshit. |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 11:36:21 AM EDT
[#28]
"Amazing" ---Everything Hollywood has to say about anything is AMAZING!
"If you will"---Especially during the war coverage last year, all of the reporters would say this after a description. Sometimes they even said it 3 times in one sentence. "The former, the latter"---Every pinhead columnist these days has to use this one now instead properly identifying their point of reference. "Whether or not"---An example: "I don't know whether or not he is gay or straight." Can't people just say "whether" something is <blank> without having to add what it may be not?! "and I"---I think all of the correcting of "and me" has created this abortion of words. Just watch any reality dating TV show and watch how many times people mess this up thinking all the while that they are correct. |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 11:48:24 AM EDT
[#29]
I work with a lady that loves to make herself sound smarter.
Whenever she is faking illness (on average at least 1 day a week) she says, "I can't come to work today, I have been regurgitating all morning.” Or “due to the inclement weather, I will be unable to safely navigate to the office premises on this scheduled work day. I will be working from my home office today, and will periodically check my electronic mail and voicemail so that I can coordinate my activities with the rest of the team.” Translation: “There was 1/2” of snow last night, and I’m a lazy bitch, so I’m going to milk this opportunity to take the day off while you suckers do my work for me. Oh and I will check my email once today (but not actually do any work), so I get paid for a full day of doing nothing without losing a sick day or vacation day.” And she loves to use the word ‘reference’ at least one in EVERY SINGLE sentence. “I’m calling you in reference to the problem you referenced in the meeting today. If you reference my email, you will find a reference to the solution which involves referencing the documentation referenced in last weeks focus group.” |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 11:51:44 AM EDT
[#30]
[jethrobodine]I done larnt all muh cipherin' back home in Bug Tussle. Now ah'm gonna be a double-naught spy![/jethrobodine]
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Posted: 5/13/2004 11:52:04 AM EDT
[#31]
Actually, the word "gift" can be used as a verb, and in legal parlance (hey, now there's one for 'ya..."parlance") its not uncommon. gift n. Something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation. The act, right, or power of giving. A talent, endowment, aptitude, or inclination. tr.v. gift·ed, gift·ing, gifts To present something as a gift to. To endow with. |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 11:55:44 AM EDT
[#32]
Hmmm.... does that mean that Pam Anderson and Samantha Fox are gifted individuals?.......
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Posted: 5/13/2004 11:59:46 AM EDT
[#33]
Ooh! That just reminded me of another one:
"Actually" This has become SO overused. Some people say it when it is entirely unnecessary and preface every sentence with "Actually,....." "Realistically" Liberal douches use this one all the time to somehow belittle others arguments. Example: "Realistically, Osama isn't in a cave." "Realistically, Bush isn't going to win." "Realistically, I am a douche." |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 12:11:18 PM EDT
[#34]
Maybe; I suppose you could say Pam Anderson was gifted a nice endowment by her cosmetic surgeon. OTOH, I'd really like to gift a taste of my endowment to some of the ladies in the BOTD thread. 
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Posted: 5/13/2004 12:18:43 PM EDT
[#35]
Paradigm is my all time favorite!
Had a boss that brought the break the paradigm philosophy to work. Insisted I watch the tape. I told him no thanks for I've seen it a hundred times everytime the customer wants me to lower the price. Every new guys comes in with the same shit! I guess I had a paradigm about paradigms. Tj |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 12:31:07 PM EDT
[#36]
My pet peeve is with the word "rubric".... I used to only hear it in colleges, now I hear talking heads use it on TV and on the radio, sprinkling it in with the paradigms. To which I say: "Hey, pal- rubric THIS!" 
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Posted: 5/13/2004 12:37:16 PM EDT
[#37]
That's right up there with using "literally" to mean "figuratively," as in "I was literally dying up there," to which the proper response is probably "No faster than usual, apparently." |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 12:41:26 PM EDT
[#38]
Saw a note a manager had left for his men one day...
Friday mourning..... I couldnt contain myself. Spellcheck is your friend. |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 3:13:01 PM EDT
[#39]
.
>assertain >nomenclature Pardon me sir, do you have any gray pupon? |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 3:36:29 PM EDT
[#40]
Back in my undergrad days I suffered through a woman prof who was really really proud of her ivy league undergrad and phd. She was even prouder of her daughter going to yale...you get the idea.
She had to use french terms all the freaking time (in a mid level soc class) and not provide a translation. I was taking a roman and american comp lit class at the time, so I found the coolest quote about a roman general. The next paper I wrote for stuck up I wrote so that my ultimate point could have been that the leader guy was really great or a real boob. I left my thesis out until the second to the last sentence, which was the quote in latin. Bitch. Ha ha. No comments on that paper to indicate she knew my point. |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 3:38:07 PM EDT
[#41]
'Eaven and 'ell sir, I tend ter lean towards the english cockney ter impress limp dicks.
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Posted: 5/13/2004 3:42:20 PM EDT
[#42]
Up here in Michigan legal land it is a verb. Gift, gifting, gifted. The reason 'gift' has a specific verb meaning is that it means a transfer during life for no value or future value (BTW subject to 11k per year pp limit). Bequest is a verb meaning transfer by will on death, and in a trust it is fund (fund, funding, funded) and allocate/designate. |
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Posted: 5/13/2004 5:45:32 PM EDT
[#43]
Here, even legally, it is a neologism. The prior term was "donative gift" or "pure gift." The 1945 Webster's unabridged lists that use of the word as the second definition under the second listing of "gift," and says it is "chiefly Scottish." The 1853 Webster's unabridged lists no use of the word as a transitive verb other than to mean "to endow with a power or faculty" [which is definition one under listing 2 in the '45 Webster's]. IMO, it is immensely stupid. If I deliver to another person all possession of and right, title, and interest in and to a thing, I do what? I give it to him. Thus, IMO, saying that "I gifted him" with the thing is pompous horseshit. It's like saying that an alternative way to announce that I wrote a letter to the President is to say "I lettered George Bush," or like saying that Herman Mellville "noveled Moby Dick." 
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Posted: 5/14/2004 9:34:59 AM EDT
[#44]
predicate.... I love this word... but I can never find the right context to use it so I don't.
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Posted: 5/14/2004 12:05:41 PM EDT
[#45]
Spellcheck wouldn't have caught it though. Spelled correctly, just the wrong word. What really drives me nuts is when people use "loose" in place of "lose"...<grrrr!> |
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Posted: 5/14/2004 12:27:38 PM EDT
[#46]
Geopolitical
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Posted: 5/14/2004 1:08:14 PM EDT
[#47]
"...it begs the question..." Begging the question is a logical fallacy. People in the media use this term when they merely want to ASK a question. They think by saying "beg", it will sound more urgent or important.
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Posted: 5/14/2004 1:27:55 PM EDT
[#48]
What happened to the pronunciation of "harass". The second sylable used to be accented, as in harASS. Now it's HARass and HARassment.
The lose and loose one is way too common. I think we'll see more and more of this as time goes on. Kids now seem to communicate with crypic messages which are a combination of abbreviations, acronyms and phonetics. |
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