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Link Posted: 2/26/2001 3:56:54 PM EST
Sorry to hear of this, Anti. Mail on the way. Milldude
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 4:09:48 PM EST
Let's see, there's Anti and me, who's #3?
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Actually, the week before last, I was diagnosed with a relatively rare kidney disorder that will most likely result in having to remove at least half of my right kidney, if not more -- that's why I was in the midst of a drunken blowout when the fight occured with my wife! [:(]
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 4:12:04 PM EST
Anti, maybe you should get in contact with Sigchick from the old board, she has been this before herself.  Maybe she can give you some pointers.  I know I don't read body language too good, you know what I mean.  I hope everything works out with your misses. We will hold down the fort while you are gone. Take care.
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 4:49:05 PM EST
It's good to see you're in a more cheerful mood after taking her out to dinner. Nothing I could say would change what may lay ahead. I do hope you and your wife all the happiness and to reconcile soon.
Please for your health, stay off the alcohol as it only creates more problems.
When looking at life, think only how much worse it could be, then consider yourself lucky.
I'm in the midst of the company I work for trying to screw me, in court with the ex on CS reduction, just hit the 3rd deer during the year going to work that totally messed my car up, my ex for over 3 months haven't allowed me to have visitation with my children, had a medical problem that about turned into diabetes, to which I changed my eating habits.
Somethings, you can control, while other problems will have to work themselves out.
Through all this, I can only think, it could be worse, helps me get through the sadness, depression and anger I sometimes feel.
Take care.
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 5:28:49 PM EST
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 5:36:45 PM EST

We may have differed on our opinions in the past but I honestly do hope that both you an the missus will find the light at the end of the tunnel. I also will pray that however this thing will turn out, be it to your liking or not, that you will find peace.

A very wise woman once said to me, [b][i]"Marraige is like holding a bar of soap. Hold it too tight and it will slip from your hands,......... hold it too loosely and it will fall off."[/i][/b]

Marraige has, is and will always be a delicate balancing act. It is easier done when both of you practice it.

take care and good luck!


Link Posted: 2/26/2001 5:44:08 PM EST
I truely feel your pain I went through this about 9 years ago now. I had the whole mother in law living with me and church thing too. I would have done anything at the time for my marriage to work. I made a complete jackass out of myself and promised and wined like it gets real easy to do at those times. I made myself a vow after that to NEVER make a fool out of myself for another women.
You have met my new wife(8 years now) Michele and know what a truely remarkable woman she is. That break up was the best thing that could have happened in my life.
You are a decent guy and Nothing you do right now is going to change her mind. She has to decide on her own right now what she is going to do.
Get your shit together but do not give up too much of yourself to please someone else. Make yourself better by not needing her so much right now. I know it sounds wierd but she doesn't want to hear how much you love her right now. You need to stand tall.
Take care of yourself now and your kidney. Your Dad will tell of some people and their kidney problems you don't want them. Get it fixed now.
Good luck Tim, remember to not get your hopes up too high. One day at a time and don't let yourself get depressed it is REAL easy to do.
I truley hope things work out for you and her.
Good luck
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 5:59:06 PM EST
I truely wish the best for both of you!

The "For better or for worse" part is always being tested, the way that you handle each situation is what keeps your marriage solemn.




"I won't be wronged,  I won't be insulted
and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do
these things to other people and I require
the same from them."
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 6:32:18 PM EST
Anti-sorry to hear about your troubles. Been through them myself. Just remember, if it doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world. In fact, a year or two down the line, you may be thinking it's the best thing that could have ever happened to you, even considering the lawyers bills, alimony, and child support (if applicable). Know you don't see it that way now, but don't lose sight of the big picture. Good luck.
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 6:39:57 PM EST
anti, sorry to hear. You're one of the good guys. Take good care of yourself.
Link Posted: 2/27/2001 4:49:47 AM EST
I visited with her for a few minutes at work this morning ([i]dropping off household bills and paychecks to cover them[/i]).  I also specifically made it a point to take her a bouquet of fresh flowers and a bunch of Girl Scout cookies.

This morning is probably the worst pain I have evered suffered with my kidney over the past couple of years, and what sucks the most, is that she isn't here to hold/comfort me. She is obviously very concerned about my health as well, but that's about as far as it can go right now.

Just a few minutes ago on the phone, she actually did tell me she loved me. Even though I'm in excrutiating pain ([i]physically[/i]), that's a huge milestone for me right now!

Link Posted: 2/27/2001 5:52:16 AM EST
Anti,  I've never been divorced, but have been broke up with a few times.  Don't crowd her you might push her away.  But still let her know you love her.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Link Posted: 2/27/2001 6:10:39 AM EST

I truly hope you two are able to work things out, you're both in my thoughts.

Hang in there my friend.

Link Posted: 2/27/2001 9:07:12 AM EST
It sounds like you're both motivated, so give the counseling a chance. The lack of communication is what destroys many relationships. Counseling can help both of you to be better communicators.

Good luck to both of you.
Link Posted: 2/27/2001 9:10:57 AM EST
Hang in there, Tim.

You have my number if you need it.  (You know the counselling genious I get to be after a few Shiners [:D])
Link Posted: 3/2/2001 11:07:19 AM EST
I'm happy to say that with all of your prayers and support ([i]especially those of you that contacted me directly[/i]), she has moved back in and we are starting our lives over, by putting each others needs first.

This has obviously been a very trying time, but was more so for me when the added stress of my kidney was added in.

I actually think that she came around more so in a maternal instinct because I'm unable to do much of anything right now, other than lay around and pump myself full of Vicoden and Demoral.  Regardless of what brought her back to me originally, GOD opened her heart and that's all that matters.

Thanks again for all of the support, but don't quit praying just yet, and especially not for my kidney!
Link Posted: 3/2/2001 11:17:23 AM EST
Glad things are coming back together Tim. Now is the time that you two really need to be together.  Good luck on the kidney thing. If anything happens, can I have the 10/22??[;)]
Link Posted: 3/2/2001 11:34:04 AM EST

That is good news indeed. Take care of yourself and of your wife. Counseling may still  be a benefit. You and your wife are still in my prayers. The Lord will comfort and guide you if you ask him. I'm not saying you have to become a Holy Roller[:D], I'm saying just don't forget Him.

Best wishes and prayers
Link Posted: 3/2/2001 11:57:45 AM EST
That's great news Anti- I hope everthing works out and please check your email.  Also, keep us posted and hang in there.

Link Posted: 3/2/2001 12:31:05 PM EST
I actually think that she came around more so in a maternal instinct because I'm unable to do much of anything right now, other than lay around and pump myself full of Vicoden and Demoral.  Regardless of what brought her back to me originally, GOD opened her heart and that's all that matters.
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I haven't been able to post on this thread until now, but I wanted to say that I am glad to hear that things are improving.  My thoughts are with you and yours.
Link Posted: 3/2/2001 3:39:19 PM EST
Congrats! Mr. and Mrs. ANTI. Concentrate on that kidney and you will be good as new! [:D] Milldude
Link Posted: 3/2/2001 3:45:37 PM EST
Way to go ANTI...
You are in our prayers
Link Posted: 3/2/2001 3:54:37 PM EST
Link Posted: 3/2/2001 4:21:30 PM EST

It appears you may still have a long road ahead of ya (kidneys etc.) but you have alot of friends here and alot of PRAYER power going on.

Keep the Faith!!!

P.S. I taught DonR everything he knows [:D]
Link Posted: 3/2/2001 6:15:00 PM EST

i hope to see all of you again at BUFFALO RANGE.
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