Quoted: The dispatcher can tell which officer is transmitting by pulling up the serial number of the radio when the mic is keyed in emergency cases...So one night it had been very quiet on the radio when very loudly all you hear is "Motherfucker get off me!! I'll kill you you sonuvabitch!!" Dispatch immediately called "Kilo12(?) are you code-J(secure)?" A brief pause then "Kilo 12 is code-J...My partner and I had a slight disagreement!!" Apparently his K-9 bit him over him not sharing his sandwich!!

 !!

The worst thing I have ever had to say was all units respond to the courthouse/jail to back my partner....there is an officer down,, and then took control or deploying responding officers


the fuuniest thing I ever heard was were I used to work. An older man who was from the hills of west virginia came to the big city. He was taking a report from a young college student about here apt. being burglarized. All of a sudden the officer came of the readio very excited and said "start me an ambulance, she fell over dead".  He had several other excited transmissions then he said " I have started BREAST massage...." It was not funny at the time but we did laugh our asses off later. His breast message got him a life saver award. Later it was founf out she had a heart abnormality and the stress and fear brought it out. The visual of him giving breast message has made many smiles since then

We had a Chief that was a total ***hole.  One of the guys in a neighboring community could imitate him perfectly....It drove the Chief crazy.  This guy would wait until the Chief called into dispatch and then mimick his conversation over the air.....The only problem came one day when I was in the car with the Chief when this guy started....The Chief went nuts and I was trying to keep a straight face....I almost ****ed my pants... It was great...This guy was a total jerk and finally got fired.........

Me "43 Radio"
Dispatch "umm.... go ahead 43"
Me (giving a license plate in a made-up phonetic alphabet) "Check-it"
Dispatch "ahhh.... 10-4"
pause
Dispatch (Gives plate info back)


telephone call to dispatch a few minutes later
Dispatch "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT???"

(A new dispatcher that has never seen Super Troopers)

Quoted: Yeh I've been called Farva a few times. While enroute to a Cardiac arrest I got cut off by some yuppy in a BMW and yelled out the window "I'm gunna ram ya u fuckin Jew!" well my parner just keyed the mick for additional info and it of coarse went out over med 10.  Supervisor wasn't happy bout that one. Right after I joined F.D. as a JR. long ago I was to get the Rescue ready for a parade. Well we got a call right after I finished. My chief jumped in the officers keyed the mike to go responding  just as the driver lurched out of the bay. The chief slide halfway off the seat and theis was his transmition. Chief  "Rescue - to county      WHooo the fuck armoralled the seats?!" Countys reply- "we don't know who armoralled the seats but are you responding rescue  -?"

LMFAO

One quite night out of pure boredom, I sounded a bicycle horn over the air on our talk-around band. I was unaware that the dest Sgt. on duty was apparently traumatized at a young age and a bicycle horn was somehow involved. Well he snapped, he got on the air and demanded to know what radio it was coming from. Dispatch couldnt trace it because it was on talk-around and doesnt go thru the repeater. He has filed several internal investigations over this bike horn in the past 2 years.

Now every one I know at work has a bicycle horn as a ring tone on their cellphones. And someone who has their own radio that is untraceable, gets on the air and goes off with the horn like a circus clown in heat for several seconds while this Sgt. is on the desk. He has went home sick 3 times due to this. I kinda feel sorry for the guy, but he is truly a raving lunatic, and the look on his face when the horn blows is priceless.

    One evening while covering an injury accident, I crossed over a barb wire fence and in the process, one of the barbs caught on my pants about mid-thigh.  It poked a hole in the pants, but cut the skin underneath.  Went to the hospital to get the driver's info and while there, the nurses suggested that I get a tetanus shot or at least look at the injury.  After declining this, I left and a co-worker called me on the radio and asked about my injury and was kind of making fun of me.
    Without thinking ahead, I stated, "You should see my three inch gash".   As soon as I said it, the radio went silent.  I knew that everyone working that night with me was laughing their ass off just like I was.

    This was about eight years ago and we still have a good laugh over it occasionally.

Try going by your girl friends house and announcing over the PA "This is the Sheriff's Office...come out with your pants up!"....only to realize you're not holding the PA mike...thank God it was a slow SUnday afternoon....hock.gif

We had another funny the other night.  While parked across the street from the PD, I noticed a guy run up to the door then back to his car.  I immediately feared something was wrong and as I put my car in gear, dispatch came up on the air requesting units to return to the station as there was a problem in the parking lot.

As I got to the parking lot, dispatch could see the guy, on camera, driving off and as she was telling me which was he had went, as she was not aware I was soo close, I got in behind him and when my patrol car came into camera view so said... "oh, there ya go...go,go, go, gett em".

Have no idea what was up as the guy went about three blocks and bailed out of the car.  Oh well, quick tow sheet and short report cured that.

In a foot chase:

Me: (open mic) stop, get on the ground. Motherfucker stop. Sounds of me tackling suspect.
Supervisor: Unit 4 how is he?
Me: Ah....(sounds of suspect swaering and yelling about being a lawyer) He's an asshole.
Supervisor: UNIT 4! (stern-you just swore on the radio)
Me: Unit 4 dispatch I have one in....stay on the fucking ground! Shit I swore again. I have one in custody.
Dispatch: 10-4
Supervisor: Unit 4 I copied he says he is a lawyer and he is resisting?
Me: 10-4
Supervisor: 10-4 copy you have one asshole in custody

Supervisor was really cool and it helped that it was night shift!

Quoted: stay safe BTW this thread is hilarious

+1

I'm in Baghdad as part of a protective detail, advancing a helicopter landing pad in the green zone and the motorcade is in route to me.  There are a combination of Chinooks, Blackhawks, and Apaches waiting for the protectee and the motorcade.  One of the crewchiefs runs up and asks me if I want to "hot load."  I wasn't sure what he was asking so I say "what?"  He explains that it means the blades will be moving on the helicopters.  I wasn't sure about this so I called the motorcade on my radio and said:

Me:  "Follow, from advance, Do you want a hot load?

FollowCar "What?"

Me:  "Follow, Advance I say again do you want a hot load?"

Follow car to another unit "Lead, Advance asks if we want a hot load"

Lead: "Yes."

Follow: "Advance, Follow, Yes we want a hot load."  In the background I can hear the out of control laughter of the follow car agents as I realize that for the rest of my time on the detail I will never live this down...

Semper Fi

Keep 'em Comin. I'm dieing of laughter here.

BTW, I accidently keyed up and said "Motherf***er" over our talkabout channel. Thank God that doesn't run through dispatch.

All I hear is a supervisor yelling, "15(me) you're transmitting"

Our local park police share our dispatch freq. A couple years ago, one of them transmits "10-42" to end his shift.

Dispatch keys up saying "10-4, have a good night..." and the mic stays keyed for some reason and the rest of the line goes "... see ya later, dorko."

Well the phone calls and accusations start but somehow it is played off that the dorko comment was actually directed to another dispatcher leaving comm center at the same time the park officer signed off, and it was just a technical problem with the mic key. (So far, so good...)

A couple hrs later, one of our officers, out with a suspect at some disturbance... running a name phonetically over the air to this same dispatcher:

"... first name Wilfred - W william, I ida, L lincoln, F frank, R Robert, E edward, D Dorko..."

She keyed up saying "10-4" but the tone of voice said something completely different

Try running something at night with K-knife or P-pneumonia. I found a license plate with KPK in it. I used the knife and pneumonia when I called it in. The dispatcher was so flustered she didn't know whether to shit or wind her watch.

Not police related or something I said, but funny none the less. I was responding to some rediculous 19 car pile up during an ice storm, and our neighboring district's duty officer came over the air ( the whole county heard mind you) "Attention all responding ******** apparatus, be adviiissseed.. it's as slick as a greased pig out here." I about wrecked the truck I was laughing so hard.

We have a hair salon in our city called the House of Beauty.  Once on the air I mistakenly called it the House of Booty.

sorry double tap.

This has gotta be one of the best threads I've seen in a while.

I am the third unit in pursuit of an auto burg suspect.  The suspect turns onto a cul-de-sac.  All three units stop while the suspect does a 180.  The unit calling the chase says, "He's turning around - OH SHIT!"  as the suspect rams his car.  Dispatch replies, "10-9? (repeat last transmission).  It was a bit tense at the time, but I still crack up when I remember that.

Quoted: One day while talking to my fiancie on the Nextel I grabbed the mike to respond to the dispatcher.  Went to contiune the conversation with her and forgetting that I still had the mike in my hand and said "ok Babe" over the Radio.  Starting getting MDT's from the dispatcher and the fiancie. Dan

You got to be careful with the Nextel two way when you are on duty.  Sometimes I'll hang the phone clip on my epaulat(however you spell it) and talk on the two way like my hand held.  Sometimes you get confused as to which one to use.

I had a Lieutenant who was with another deputy who snuck up on a couple having sex in a parking lot.  The other deputy was calling out hte location over the air and the LT was unaware he was keyed up and the LT said, "damn he's fucking the shit out of her," which was heard quite well by us all over the air.

We had a dumbass deputy last year that drove his patrol car through flood waters and was so stupid as to give a play by play over the air until his car was flooded out.  5L19...I've got high water.....now it's up to my rocker panels....now it's in my car....uh oh my car is stalled in the high water.  Needless to say the supervisors went ape shit because of him driving in the high water to begin with but calling it out over the air when all the brass was still around.  

One of our detectives was doing servailence and was looking for a burgler when he saw a car fly by him and said,


          "Did you see that guy, He Was Fuckin Hallin Ass"

Or we had a sarg. that took a female deputy in the back seat or the patrol car to show off his shotgun (if ya know what i mean). and he accidentally keyed his prep...

"slurp,,,,,slurp,,,, oh its sooooo big,,,,,, suck it baby,,,," is all we heard!!!! true story..

he retired a little early after that.

tag. this is funny stuff!

I've only been at this job for a few months but the funniest one was in reference to a disabled vehicle hazard on the interstate where the deputy advised "10-4, can't get the jack off".

At my old job, was there 5 years, we'd heard toilets flush, guys straining on the shitter and there were rumors about an officer who snuck home for a quickie with the wifey and you heard it all.

Working near the mountains, we used to have problems with radio reception while in the canyons. We would have to switch to a different response channel, but even then it didn't always work, so we would ask for any additional details prior to entering the canyon. One day while going hell bent to a motorcycle down up one of the canyons, I advised the dispatcher that I was coming into the mouth and asked if there was anything else she would like to say before we got too far in. The look on my partners face was priceless.

Another night we started our shift by stopping in our dispatch center and talking to them for a few before we went 10-8. One gal with particularly large breasts was only wearing a tight white T-shirt. She stood up and was putting her uniform shirt on over it, causing her chest to be thrust forward. After running a few calls and finally getting some down time at a post, the conversation turned to "Julie's rack". A few "Oh god, how I would love to play with those things" and the like, then our pagers went off. Yeppers, stuck mic and very recognizable voices. At least she was a good sport about it and thank god it was the middle of a graveyard shift.

Back when we 1st got headsets on the engines. A captain with a very distint voice thought he was keying the intercom on the engine when he was actually keying up the radio. Gave a good talking to to his rookie about "you should do unto others as you'd have them do unto you", went over pretty good considering what a jerk the Captain was.  It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't just given the whole county his crappy chili recipe 20 minutes before.

Great Thread!
Responded to a man beating a woman on the street corner.  As I arrive on scene I see it is one of our inbred frequent-flyer couples.  I didn't see the two hitting each other but they were both scratched up and panting.  The male half is a pain in the ass and never shuts his yap. They both started to get aggressive so I radio, "G.V. 37-4, could you send me another unit?  It's the Mosley's and Pa Mosley is being a flaming hemmorhoid!."  & I'm the sergeant!  Anyway we finish up.  Neither of the two want to charge the other, as they need each others welfare checks for the rent, and Ma Mosley needs Pa Mosley to drive her to the methadone clinic the next morning.  As I am speaking to Ma Mosley, Pa starts acting up with my other officer as I am radioing dispatch to check the two for warrants (always a good problem solver)  Me :  "G.V. 37-4, could you check Pa Mosley...." as Pa is acting up (I was having a bad day and had zero patience), ".....38-12 go ahead and hook his shit up!  I'm tired of their shallow gene pool!"   Of course I had to give a briefing later on maintaining professional communications over the radio.

A common one with our guys is, "G.V (unit #) could you notify A/C (Animal Control) that there is a flat cat on main and auburn."  An anonymous officer will add, "MMMMMM. Them's good eatin'"

Another good trick to play on new dispatchers on graveyard is to get the license plate of their personal vehicle.  Then meet with all of your shift guys in a parking lot across town.  Then call out a failure to yield (pursuit) with that license plate, and description of the dispatchers car.  Ask the dispatcher to run the plate while we are using our sirens in the background.  Just as the dispatcher tries to tell you that the car is hers, you key the mic. and have one of the guys throw a wooden pallet against a dumpster as you call out that the bad guy collided into another car.

This is a great thread, so I'm gonna try and keep it alive.

The agency to the south of  us is a major university with their own PD. They help us out in the city and we help them out when they need it on campus. One of their rookie officers made a traffic stop on a border road and had the driver bail out on him. It was his first foot  pursuit and he gave a very loud (and high pitched) rundown on which way the guy went and took off after him. A bunch of units were in the area looking for the suspect  and one of our guys drove down a street and saw the campus officer running. Disptach was asking for a description and direction of travel. The campus officer was yelling all of the info out, but not in the radio, just yelling it out as he was running.  Our officer had pulled past him when he noticed this, so he put the car in reverse, backed up, rolled down his window and passed along what the campus officer was yelling to everyone but the radio.

I can't remember if we ever caught the guy or not....

One other time we had a couple of units on a OWI stop, the guy had pulled into his driveway and tried to make it into the house. Our guys had him detained in the front  yard when his intox (and angry) mother and father woke up and came out to see what was going on. The backup officer stated "um, Adam-20, can we get another unit here before the shit hits the fan". Immediatly the phone in dispatch rang, the sergeant asked "what did he just say", the ever protective dispatcher (me) told him, "he said before IT hits the fan". To this the Sgt replied, "ah, thats what I thought, have him stop in to see me when he's clear".  Got a scolding, but nothing more.

Stay safe,
CT

Great thread!

Im sure many have heard these but this is for those who havent.
We have some funny dispatchers over here and can take a joke, but there are the "special" ones who cant.  I was working and there was a new dispatcher (We can always tell),  One of my beat partners ran a guy for a rap/warrant,

PO: "2M278 rap warrant"
Disp:  "Standing by"
PO: "Lastname, : Echo November Oscar Sierra,  First name Phillip DOB 10/1/67"
Disp:  "278,  Negative rap/warrant for "Fillipinos"

Ten minutes later he got her with Sam Owens  (samoans)!!!!
Once she figured it out no one else in his sector got sent to any cases.  We all helped him out though.  Worth it.  

A Deputy with the S.O. thought he had the P.A. mic and really had the radio mic.  

His exact words to the driver of a car he was pulling over were, "Grab a piece of the curb Asshole".  After that there was radio silence.  

Back then, they couldn't know who keyed the mic.  Just by voice.  

Colt_SBR  

Quoted: Great thread! Im sure many have heard these but this is for those who havent. We have some funny dispatchers over here and can take a joke, but there are the "special" ones who cant.  I was working and there was a new dispatcher (We can always tell),  One of my beat partners ran a guy for a rap/warrant, PO: "2M278 rap warrant" Disp:  "Standing by" PO: "Lastname, : Echo November Oscar Sierra,  First name Phillip DOB 10/1/67" Disp:  "278,  Negative rap/warrant for "Fillipinos" Ten minutes later he got her with Sam Owens  (samoans)!!!! Once she figured it out no one else in his sector got sent to any cases.  We all helped him out though.  Worth it.

I actually know a man who's name is Sam Owens...

As with many other departments, the "peanut gallery" responds to dumb/funny/mistakes on the radio with mic clicks (or scratches, beating against the steering wheel, rubbing on the pant leg, etc). Our new radio system that will be in by May will pretty much kill all of that, as each officer has a portable assigned to them (or by car number). It will show exactly who was the last one to transmit, and so the anonimity will be gone.

A moment of silence for the mic click....  

Stay safe,
CT

Back in my younger days I was an EMT in SoCal and worked for several Ambulance Companies.

We got new dispatchers all the time. One time a female dispatcher came over the air and it sounded something like this:

Her: Unit 298 (in a soft sexy voice)
Me: 298
My partner in the background not knowing I was transmitting: She sounds pretty f****** hot, but I'll bet her ass is as wide as Texas..
Her: 298 10-9
Me: (LMAO) Dispatch 10-22 (disregard)
My partner was right....


One night I was working part time in an ER and a radio call came in that got so out of hand, OCC (Orange County Communications) had to step in and make a few corrective comments about being professional. A young man, that I happened to go to high school with, got his penis stuck in a vacuum cleaner..Yep..You read it right....The medics couldn't even get a sentence in there was so much laughter on both ends..He had lacerated his wanger..

On a mental health call, we had a guy who thought he was a chicken..When the dispatcher wanted to know the status of the patient, I calmly said "We're en route to KFC with a XX year old chicken. Please have the colonel standing by"..I got in trouble for that one because I drove a hi-top rather than a box and patients can hear what you say and it freaked him out...Loved those mental health calls. Maybe I'll write about the guy who was married to Gene Harlow and the Chinese Hooker..

This thread is great!

Holy cow...where to start.  Of course, all the good stuff gets said on midnights, which is where I spent 95% of my patrol time.  Here's some of my favs...(Callsigns have been changed to protect the offenders)


'Bout 3 am.

Metro: "K91, call of a loud, barking dog, last half hour, area of Ann and Birch."

K91 (one of our K9s): "Kaaaaaaay-Nine One BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK I've been in the area for the last hour BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK and I haven't heard a goddamn thing BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK Clear Code 1 BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK."

(Code 1 - No Police Service Needed) hat

Another one...at about 4:50 AM...if I recall.  Middle of winter, cold as hell.  Ton of snow.  I'm sitting at a red-light, four-way downtown, running plates parked near a local crack hut.

All of a sudden BAM!  Rear-ended.  Face-plant into air-bag.

In a little bit of shock, I key-up: "Metro, Delta 601, I've just been rear-ended at High and Dwight!"

Metro: "10-4, Delta 601.  Any supervisor close?  Delta 601, advise on injuries..."

Supervisor: "Metro, Sierra 910, I'm with 601, goddamit.  I hit him.  Roll me a bus and two hooks."

I look up into my rear-view, and sure enough, there is a supe's Tahoe buried in my ass.

Metro: "Sierra 910, roger on request for rescue and tow.  Nature of injuries?"

Supe: "Pissed off, Metro."  had

Another Gem from K91 (another of our 30+ year vets on Mids)

K91: "K91, Metro, 10-6 HQ taking a crap."


Me, during a foot chase through a dealerships back lot:

"601, Metro FOOOOOOOTCHASE!  White, male, 6 foot, 180, Black Jack---GET ON THE GODDAM GROUND! GET ON THE GROUND! ON THE GROUND MOTHER FUCKER!"


My least favorite..again, winter.  Been dead quiet for two hours.  I'm in the station, at the desk, drinking coffee and shooting the shit with Sierra 910, he who tried to kill me with the Tahoe.

"K91, Metro, I've been shot."

Said it cool as a cucumber.  Rolled into a Stop N Rob parking lot on the south side of the city, as a shitbag ran out the front door with a bag o cash and a .45.  He took two rounds in the vest and one that grazed his scalp.   Shitbag was caught after an extended foot chase and got to take the long way back to the station.  


Jeez...I have a ton of others.  As you can tell, our Mids shift was pretty relaxed.  Big town, not much mickey mouse BS.  Had an academy pal come up and ride with me several times.  He worked in a much smaller, college town in the central part of the state.  He was amazed at what we got away with, both on and off the radio.

Also, my first post here so Forum Newbie Alert.  I've been off the job for about 2 years now...went into the private sector.  I'm having second thoughts. hinking.gif  I miss my blue brothers.

Shots fired

Quoted: Also, my first post here so Forum Newbie Alert.  I've been off the job for about 2 years now...went into the private sector.  I'm having second thoughts.  I miss my blue brothers.

Damn good first post Random!!

Quoted: Quoted: Also, my first post here so Forum Newbie Alert.  I've been off the job for about 2 years now...went into the private sector.  I'm having second thoughts.  I miss my blue brothers. Damn good first post Random!!

Yeah, feel free to share some more.

Our radios are encoded with our unit id's also but I had one long graveyard shift where I just couldn't help myself. After being dispatched to a 50 year old man with general malaise we picked him up and went en route to SMC (Our local ER).

ME: DTMF 223 "Rampart this is Squad 51" (Our ERs have a DTMF muted system, to get a specific ER you dial their tone sequence)
ER: "SMC On, Go Ahead Smartass"
ME: "SMC This is Dexter 17-9-2 en route to your location.."
PATIENT: "Hey! You don't look like John Gage!"
ME: "with a 50 year old male complaining of general illness, all vitals within normal limits, suitable for triage, ETA of 5"
ER: "Good copy, advise your patient that Dr's Bracket & Early are on vacation, SMC Out"


Who would have guessed that the one night I decided to call Rampart that both the patient and the ER Nurse would be Emergency! fans?

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Also, my first post here so Forum Newbie Alert.  I've been off the job for about 2 years now...went into the private sector.  I'm having second thoughts. hinking.gif  I miss my blue brothers. Damn good first post Random!! Yeah, feel free to share some more.

Thanks.  I have to get the old brain clicking.  Amazing the stuff you start to forget after you have been away for a while.  Ill drop another post in here once the juices start flowing.

Ok..here's a couple more:

One of our graveyard guys was a real clown.  Tall, Skinny, Goofy.  We nicknamed him "Dense" cause it rhymed with his last name.  Outstanding cop though.

On Christmas Eve, I hear on the radio (Dense calling Metro)

Dense: "Echo 641, Metro, 10-27 by name."

Metro: "Go ahead Echo 6."

Dense: "27 as follows, Last Name: Kringle, K - King, R - Robert, I - Ida, N - Nora, G- George, L - Lincoln, E - Edward.  First Name: Kris, K - King, R - Robert,  I -Ida....."

Metro - "Kris Kringle, Male/White, Clear and valid."

Was a real 27, based on some guy out of FLA.  Every XMas, Dense would fire that one off.

Another name he liked top run over the air was Harry Dick.  Also a valid 27 in our state.  Nothing like hearing the dispatcher pause, take a breath and say: "Harry Dick is Clear and Valid."

He also used to run a female mental subject over the air every time he saw her who's last name was:  Vangina


We had a large Vietnamese population to, so one night he calls a warrant check over the air:

Dense - "Echo 641, Metro,  Warrant check."
Metro -  "Go ahead E641"
Dense - "Metro, check wants on a Male Asian, Last name: Singalong, First Name: PingPong."

I believe that one cost him 2 days.

I dont know where he found the 27 info on the people that he ran, but he had tons of them.  George Washington, Bruce Banner, Clark Kent....

Best one, for you South Park Fans.  Our cars had two radios in them.  One was the main base radio and the other was an old base system we called Low Band, a sort of car-to-car used for BSing, planning where to eat, breaking a guys balls.  Dispatch could hear it and xmit on it, but it wasn't recorded.  We heard an ISPERN (state wide emergency network) Msg about a vehicle wanted in connection with a Homicide out of Chicago, possible having Canadian Plates.

So, about 30 seconds later, somebody keys low band and all of a sudden, you hear "BLAAAAAAME CANADA! Their not even a real country anyway!"  Followed by the entire rendition of Blame Canada soundtrack from the movie.

I was laughing so hard I had to pull over.


Other classic midnight stuff:

On a quite, cold as hell night where there have been all of 6 calls all night:

"Metro calling Officer Wilson"
(Groggily) "Go ahead"
"Are you awake?"
"No."
"Check your MDT.  Your clear for 10-7."
"10-4...going back to sleep."

RandomUser,

Sounds like you're from IL originally? Did you know that SOS has a state ID card # on file for Santa Claus? Every Christmas eve, someone at my dept. runs the file # on mids. I've got it written down in my at work, I'll have to remember to write it down so I can post it for everyone to have fun with Christmas Eve.

Yup, you got me pegged.

I forgot about Santa Claus.  I thinky my buddy used to SOUNDEX every goofy name he could think of and see what was on file.

We had a large Vietnamese population to, so one night he calls a warrant check over the air: Dense - "Echo 641, Metro, Warrant check." Metro - "Go ahead E641" Dense - "Metro, check wants on a Male Asian, Last name: Singalong, First Name: PingPong." I believe that one cost him 2 days.

Welcome back to the family Random.

Thanks Mountain.

As soon as I am done with my civvie contractor, I am seriously gearing up to get back to civ LE.  I just miss it to much.

Running around willy-nilly with the camels, scorpions and bi-pedal locals is a hoot, but I don't feel as at home as I did behind the wheel of a black and white.

A note:  last time I talked to Brother Dense, he'd accrued a grand total of 33 days suspension time.  Gotta love that guy.

I only managed to rack up 10 days or so.

Back in my days as an ambulance jockey in Santa Clara County (San Jose area), we used to have a lot of fun on the radio...  On one occasion I asked my dispatcher, "has anyone told you how sexy you sound when you get tired?  I think you're in the wrong line of communications."  Unfortunately, her headset was unpugged and the entire bay area dispatch center was rolling.

Another time I visited the same dispatcher late one night on our way back from Vallejo.  It had rained and there was a puddle of water in the alley. Not paying attention, I stomped in the puddle and it splashed all over the dispatcher's legs.  She informed me she'd told her fellow dispatchers she was going to the bathroom and now they'd think she had pissed her pants.  So as my partner and i were driving down the freeway and I was arguing with the dispatcher I said, "Well you're the one who got wet.  I guess you got too excited when we stopped by."  

That dispatcher and i both were awarded "final written warnings" for improper radio traffic and sexual harrassment.  Since then she's become one of my best friends.



The funniest thing I've ever heard on the radio was when one of my fellow deputies was transporting a drunk to the hospital (he was too drunk for the jail to accept him).  During the trip the drunk passed out and the deputy radioed,

"He just went down on me and I can't get him arroused!"