What were you told as a kid that you found to be complete b.s.? - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - What were you told as a kid that you found to be complete b.s.? (Page 2 of 5)

Posted: 3/14/2013 3:45:36 PM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:
My parents told me the ice cream truck was the song truck, he just drive around playing music. I didn't learn different till I was 9.

Edit: I'd use that on my kids, but I like them.

Posted: 3/14/2013 3:46:42 PM EDT

[#2]

In 5th grade they told us that any unprotected sex would make aids.

Posted: 3/14/2013 3:47:22 PM EDT

[#3]

That my uncle died of drinking too much water

Posted: 3/14/2013 3:48:19 PM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
Girls don't fart.

You must know some defective ones. They're not supposed to do that.

Posted: 3/14/2013 3:48:48 PM EDT

[#5]

That GD didn't suck...

Posted: 3/14/2013 3:49:49 PM EDT

[#6]

Quoted:
My parents told me the ice cream truck was the song truck, he just drive around playing music. I didn't learn different till I was 9.

Posted: 3/14/2013 3:50:12 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
My parents told me the ice cream truck was the song truck, he just drive around playing music. I didn't learn different till I was 9.

That's awesome.

Posted: 3/14/2013 3:50:43 PM EDT

[#8]

I was told that Russian and Eastern European women were ugly. Anyone remember that Wendy's commercial with the Russian guard chick asking where' the beef (not the old lady). It was the cold war and I was 18. A few years later I found that they were some of the most beautiful women in the world.

Posted: 3/14/2013 3:51:23 PM EDT

[#9]

Most everything.

AB

Posted: 3/14/2013 3:51:25 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
shit would go on my permanent record

This.

The Evil Permanent Record.

Posted: 3/14/2013 3:51:44 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
My parents told me the ice cream truck was the song truck, he just drive around playing music. I didn't learn different till I was 9.

That's hilarious.

Posted: 3/14/2013 3:54:48 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Snipes

Snipes are real...been on a legit snipe hunt several times.

They taste like shit

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snipe

Posted: 3/14/2013 3:54:53 PM EDT

[#13]

Nothing in Life is Free.......

Just tell that to the 47 million......

Posted: 3/14/2013 3:57:33 PM EDT

[#14]

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:00:10 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Nothing in Life is Free.......

Just tell that to the 47 million......

Or 47%

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:07:57 PM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
http://socialwants.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/permanentrecord.jpg

http://sheepsheadbites.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/sb_permanent_record_paul_lukas.jpg

http://digitalflotsam.org/2ndGradeReportCard.jpg

http://farm1.staticflickr.com/20/68538136_29163c0494_m.jpg

So....

are you just bragging about your ability to be a Music, Literature, and Geography prodigy , or what?

Lemme guess... you ended up writing advisories for those noises one might hear when downwind from the waste processing station....

what do I win?

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:08:33 PM EDT

[#17]

Go outside with wet hair and you will catch a cold.
Make fun of special needs people and you will turn into one.
Black people are just the same as us.
Pray for dead people and it will help them get out of purgatory and get to heaven faster.
If we don't stop communism in Vietnam it will spread all over the world.
If your hair gets too long you will have a craving for marijuana.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:10:31 PM EDT

[#18]

That there is a god.

That playing video games is a waste of time and when I grew up I would realize I would rather be doing physical labor such as gardening rather than being entertained.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:11:43 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Go outside with wet hair and you will catch a cold.
Make fun of special needs people and you will turn into one.
Black people are just the same as us.
Pray for dead people and it will help them get out of purgatory and get to heaven faster.
If we don't stop communism in Vietnam it will spread all over the world.
If your hair gets too long you will have a craving for marijuana.

Keep holding you face like that and you will turn Japanese....

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:12:05 PM EDT

[#20]

That my visual acuity was so bad that I'd never be a cop like grandpa or a FF like my great uncle.

Wrong on both counts.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:12:27 PM EDT

[#21]

"democrats are people just like us, they just have a different way of doing what is right for the country"

complete and utter shit, all democrats fucking suck and want to turn America into a shit-hole readily available elsewhere in the world, except they are too pussy to just move there

that is the nicest way i can put that

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:14:27 PM EDT

[#22]

While my dads buddy was showing us a new gun my dad told me not to touch the metal or it would rust. For the longest time as I got older I had a fetish about wiping down mine or anyones guns after handling them and made certain to only handle them by the wood before putting them away for storage.

Yeah it's a good idea but they aren't gonna rust before your eyes if you touch the blued metal like I was led to believe.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:15:50 PM EDT

[#23]

That you don't have to put your thumb up a deer's ass while gutting it to keep it from shitting on you. My dad really had me going with that one when I was little. Imagine my surprise when I finally got to go to deer camp.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:22:27 PM EDT

[#24]

Id go blind

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:23:04 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:

Quoted:
My parents told me the ice cream truck was the song truck, he just drive around playing music. I didn't learn different till I was 9.

That's awesome.

One I got off of ARFCOM a few years ago was when the ice cream truck plays the music, it means he's all out of ice cream. My kids would be in the front yard and say "Aww, no ice cream again!" as he drove by!

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:23:31 PM EDT

[#26]

The majority of my Highschool math. Totally useless. I will NEVER use things like imaginary numbers.

I asked my teacher "When am I going to use this in the real world?". She replied "On the Test"

Yeah, that seems like a really efficient use of time. I had to sink hundreds of hours into something that I will only use on a test. That really woke me up to how inefficient and wasteful the government is.

Flash forward to recently and I had to Google how to calculate percentages because I never learned how.

But at least I am an expert on Polynomials and Imaginary Numbers now... Just kidding, I forgot EVERYTHING I learned a few months after taking the tests on them.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:24:30 PM EDT

[#27]

I DID NOT go blind!!!!!!!!

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:24:58 PM EDT

[#28]

The teacher is always right.
The policeman is always your friend.
Straight people will eventually get AIDS unless they wear a condom every time they have sex outside of marriage.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:25:54 PM EDT

[#29]

A magical man in the sky that you could whisper a message to.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:30:09 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:

The reason I never met my older brother, David, is because he didn't mind mom and dad, so they left him by the escalators at the mall.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:30:18 PM EDT

[#31]

That I was the bad twin and the good one got to live at Disneyland... Never got to go, fuckers.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:30:42 PM EDT

[#32]

That a working man had to be a Democrat.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:34:41 PM EDT

[#33]

if you yanky your wanky you will go blind.....

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:35:18 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
The majority of my Highschool math. Totally useless. I will NEVER use things like imaginary numbers.
.

The gov't is good at using imaginary numbers every year when they do up a budget

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:38:25 PM EDT

[#35]

I was about 6 when I asked my dad about the "No minors allowed" sign on the door to the liquor store. He told me it was because they didn't want them coming in and getting coal dust all over everything.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:40:39 PM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
To trust people in authority because they have your best interests in heart!

This is it for me. I grew up believing that our government is here for us by us. Boy was I wrong.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:42:18 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Girls don't fart.

lol

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:44:01 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
I was about 6 when I asked my dad about the "No minors allowed" sign on the door to the liquor store. He told me it was because they didn't want them coming in and getting coal dust all over everything.

Now that is funny.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:44:55 PM EDT

[#39]

Liars never prosper....Then I met Attorneys

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:45:46 PM EDT

[#40]

This will probably start a shitstorm.....I was told by my religious leaders if you so much as tasted alcohol you would burn in hell. (It said so in the Bible)

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:47:40 PM EDT

[#41]

That being an engineer would be just like the Mythbusters!!! Fucking load of shit.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:48:39 PM EDT

[#42]

My great grandpa always told me that eating the bread crust from a sandwich would help me whistle.
Guess what: 6,000 sandwiches later and I still can't whistle for crap.

Rest in peace, Omp.

Posted: 3/14/2013 4:59:01 PM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Snipes

Snipes are real...been on a legit snipe hunt several times.

They taste like shit

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snipe

I say again, that's not the kind of snipe the assholes told me I was hunting when I was 5.

Posted: 3/14/2013 5:00:04 PM EDT

[#44]

The big 4 - Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, God, and the Tooth Fairy...

Posted: 3/14/2013 5:05:59 PM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:

Quoted:
My parents told me the ice cream truck was the song truck, he just drive around playing music. I didn't learn different till I was 9.

That's awesome.

Evil, but yes awesome.

Posted: 3/14/2013 5:14:40 PM EDT

[#46]

you'll go blind if you jerkoff too much

Posted: 3/14/2013 5:20:44 PM EDT

[#47]

That the earth's gravity is caused by it spinning.

Even at a young age I thought that very strange. And only would make sense if we were on the inside of the sphere.

Posted: 3/14/2013 5:20:47 PM EDT

[#48]

From old movies...that quicksand, as seen in every jungle / adventure movie, would be a much bigger problem than it actually is.

Posted: 3/14/2013 5:25:29 PM EDT

[#49]

That when I got out in the real world, people wouldn't put up with me the way my family did.

Turned out the real world has treated me much more kindly than my predatory kin ever did.

Posted: 3/14/2013 5:32:41 PM EDT

[#50]

7-11 burritos were made of road kill. I believed there was a truck with 7-11 on the side that went around shoveling up roadkill to make into burritos. I always looked for it but never saw it. Some of the shit my dad told me was great.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - What were you told as a kid that you found to be complete b.s.? (Page 2 of 5)

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