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Posted: 4/30/2011 7:05:12 PM EDT
[#1]
"That's 'Ma'am' to you, son."
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Posted: 4/30/2011 7:22:54 PM EDT
[#2]
Some of you folks are real wimps...Why would you apologize for not giving them something they don't deserve?
"I am sorry I don't have anything to give you'. FUCK THAT. My standard response is "What do you want"? Then when I determine that they are a beggar and not a normal person with a normal question I say "Keep walking, there is nothing but trouble for you here". It works everytime and they ALWAYS apologize for bothering me. LOL |
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Posted: 4/30/2011 7:23:30 PM EDT
[#3]
"No, thank you," always works for me.
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Posted: 4/30/2011 7:25:01 PM EDT
[#4]
"There is no excuse for you."
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Posted: 4/30/2011 7:27:01 PM EDT
[#5]
Quoted:
Funny, the overwhelming majority of the times I've ever said, "Excuse me, Sir" to someone on the street it was because the person dropped something that appeared to valuable. If I would have received a rude response, that person would have lost whatever item they dropped forever. The only thing I've ever asked for from a person on the street is a light. ETA: The reason I posted this is because it's always best to be polite to people until they've given you a reason not to, even if you suspect that they are just looking for a handout. ARFCOM misses the olden days when people weren't polite and you could tell someone to fuck off at the drop of a hat. The beggars were more openly hostile. The most you risked was a swift punch to the mouth since assault was generally over looked if done for the right reason. 
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Posted: 4/30/2011 7:28:10 PM EDT
[#6]
Look them in the eye and say "I may look like a "sir" on the outside, but inside there's a beautiful woman yearning to be free!"
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Posted: 4/30/2011 7:28:45 PM EDT
[#7]
When they ask for a dollar, I say "Sure, got change for a $100?"
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Posted: 4/30/2011 7:32:37 PM EDT
[#8]
Quoted:
When they ask for a dollar counter their question by asking them for two dollars. I ask them what they need the money for and how far along are they to getting there? When they tell me, I ask to borrow five bucks. |
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Posted: 4/30/2011 7:34:58 PM EDT
[#9]
Hey! Get on your side of the street...I am working this side!!
Worked for my dad when he was a businessman in Orlando. He would get hit up by bums all the time when he was dressed in a suit and tie. |
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Posted: 4/30/2011 8:07:17 PM EDT
[#10]
My conversation is like this:
Them "Excuse me sir" Me "Yes" Them "You got a buck to spare for....(whatever their story is)" Me "No, but thanks for asking"..then I walk off while they have their  face
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Posted: 4/30/2011 8:10:24 PM EDT
[#11]
"Sorry not interested" has always worked for me. That and the right look and attitude. The beggars will often just skip me when going lane-to-lane at the gas station with the "I ran out of gas and need money to get home" routine. An unblinking 1000 yard stare watching their moves works.
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Posted: 4/30/2011 8:12:24 PM EDT
[#12]
"You are not excused."
The last guy that approached me near Division St. asked me for three dollars. I offered to pay him the three bucks if he washed my windshield, and he declined. He immediately asked again, and I told him that if he puts in his own three dollars we can flip for it, winner takes all six bucks. He declined that as well. When he asked me for the third time in a minute, I told him he missed opportunity 1 and 2 to get his three dollars, and now he can kindly fuck off. I may or may not have been giving him the Wolf stare at this point... but I did have a gas nozzle pointed in his general direction.  |
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Posted: 4/30/2011 8:15:40 PM EDT
[#13]
I like to ask them for money.
Throws them right the hell off. 
If I spot one that actually looks like he's in trouble, I'll offer to take him to the nearest store/restaurant/etc and buy him food. I've never had someone accept my offer. |
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Posted: 4/30/2011 8:25:13 PM EDT
[#14]
Here's what I do:
If your back or side is facing them, open your mouth and let your tongue hang out the side. Once they get nearer to you, whip your head around quickly and start shouting "HULLO!?? HULLLLOOOO!??"
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Posted: 4/30/2011 9:09:04 PM EDT
[#15]
Wrap a couple of quarters up in a bill, so that it obviously money but has a bit of heft. Keep iy in your pocket. When someone asks you "excuse me sir..." toss it about 2 feet from you. When they stoop to pick it up you can kick them right in the face.
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Posted: 4/30/2011 9:11:58 PM EDT
[#16]
Quoted: I look them right in the eyes and say "No". It's a very powerful word that is not used often enough. Eric  Same here. VERY forcefully. |
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Posted: 4/30/2011 9:20:00 PM EDT
[#17]
When I was younger I would tell them that I do in fact have change on me and keep walking. Now when asked if I could spare some change I just say no thanks, cheerfully, as if they were offering me money. Temporarily confuses most of them, but they hear the no. Not sure why I do that, but I do |
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Posted: 4/30/2011 9:25:09 PM EDT
[#18]
About five years ago I hit a stretch of days that for every day I ran into a bum asking me for money. The last one I that hit me up I responded with the following' "What is it about me that attraches people like you"? He mummbled something and I cut him off "No seriously dude, what is it"? "People like you keep fucking with me so I must look stupid or drunk or something so level with me, what is it". The dude walked away fast.
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Posted: 4/30/2011 9:29:52 PM EDT
[#19]
"Excuse me, sir..."
"Fuck you, cunt." Walk on. Profit. I'm not kidding. |
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Posted: 5/1/2011 4:55:00 AM EDT
[#20]
just tell them to fuck off and die
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Posted: 5/1/2011 4:56:28 AM EDT
[#21]
Excuse me sir, my best reply is "why, did you rip a nasty fart?"
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Posted: 5/1/2011 5:02:22 AM EDT
[#22]
Quoted:
You are excused, bye. this. |
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Posted: 5/1/2011 5:04:41 AM EDT
[#23]
Just start making human beat box noises and do the robot dance or pop'n & rock'n.... They'll leave you alone!
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Posted: 5/1/2011 5:11:47 AM EDT
[#24]
"Sir may work this week, but come Monday its Ma'am..... Finally" and skip away..........
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Posted: 5/1/2011 5:21:14 AM EDT
[#25]
Quoted:
ask them for money right off the bat. I do that shit all the time when a stranger walks up to me about to ask for something. blurt out : I need $100 dollars. I get the look and they leave me the fuck alone.
Bum was vectoring in on the three of us at work. He was rehearsing his lines as he came towards us. I hit him up first. "hey man, you are around here all the time ain't ya?" Him "umm yeah" Me "Tomorrows payday and we want to get some coffee. Can I borrow 5 bucks till tomorrow morning? We'll be right here and I'll pay us back first thing." Him " Dang, I was hoping to get some money from you guys" Coworker "Sorry dude, we are broke too" |
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Posted: 5/1/2011 5:25:50 AM EDT
[#26]
I'm sorry, I don't speak English. Have a pleasant day.
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Posted: 5/1/2011 5:26:37 AM EDT
[#27]
Quoted:
I'm sorry, I don't speak English. Have a pleasant day. Thats pretty evil.....ed! 
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Posted: 5/1/2011 6:03:56 AM EDT
[#28]
When they say "excuse me sir" you say " NO I WONT LET YOU SUCK MY DICK FOR A DOLLAR, GET AWAY FROM ME !"
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Posted: 5/1/2011 6:11:42 AM EDT
[#29]
Me: Excuse me sir...
You: EAT SHIT AND DIE MA'AM! I"M no sir, I work for a living! I've got better things to do than talk to you! I'm not old enough to be called sir dickhead! Me: Well I just wanted to inform you that your car was on fire but hey, fuck you too. |
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Posted: 5/1/2011 6:12:55 AM EDT
[#30]
"Don't call me 'Sir', I work for a living!!"
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Posted: 5/1/2011 6:27:51 AM EDT
[#31]
Just once I'd like someone to call me 'Sir' without adding, "You're making a scene."
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Posted: 5/1/2011 6:29:49 AM EDT
[#32]
Quoted:
I HATE that phrase. They ALWAYS start out with that, it never ever fails, someone will makes eye contact or walk towards you (you can see it a mile away, they want something) and its the 'ol excuse me sir shit. Cant they think of something new? Like maybe "Hey buddy...." and I could respond with "I'm not your buddy pal!" I mean come on, excuse me sir leaves nothing for me to work with. I usually just ignore them but that way of dealing with it is getting old. I need something for next time. ETA: draw down or blade at 45 has been used. Excuse me. |
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Posted: 5/1/2011 6:30:40 AM EDT
[#33]
Quoted:
I HATE that phrase. They ALWAYS start out with that, it never ever fails, someone will makes eye contact or walk towards you (you can see it a mile away, they want something) and its the 'ol excuse me sir shit. Cant they think of something new? Like maybe "Hey buddy...." and I could respond with "I'm not your buddy pal!" I mean come on, excuse me sir leaves nothing for me to work with. I usually just ignore them but that way of dealing with it is getting old. I need something for next time. ETA: draw down or blade at 45 has been used. Best response would be to slug them in the face as hard as you can. How dare they be polite
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Posted: 5/1/2011 6:35:45 AM EDT
[#34]
My brother just tells everyone, "Can't help you." Even if the response don't fit he still tells then that.
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Posted: 5/1/2011 6:36:02 AM EDT
[#35]
You're excused!
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Posted: 5/1/2011 6:40:04 AM EDT
[#36]
I always say "what the FUCK did you just call me!?" it even works in the office where I'm often referred to as "hey IT guy."
Thankfully, it's a cop shop and most of them a pretty good sense of humor. |
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Posted: 5/1/2011 7:09:12 AM EDT
[#37]
Quoted:
Quoted:
I look them right in the eyes and say "No". It's a very powerful word that is not used often enough. Eric
Same here. VERY forcefully. I like to give them the "bad dog" no. Next time I visit a city I'll have to bring a rolled up newspaper. I also like the "You are excused." along with a be gone gesture. |
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Posted: 5/1/2011 7:35:46 AM EDT
[#38]
Quoted: I like to ask them for money. Throws them right the hell off. If I spot one that actually looks like he's in trouble, I'll offer to take him to the nearest store/restaurant/etc and buy him food. I've never had someone accept my offer. My Grandpa worked a traveling gang on the railroad in the 50's. He told me once he would never give a guy money, but would offer to buy them food at the local diner. In all the time he had only one guy take him up on the offer. |
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Posted: 5/1/2011 7:52:57 AM EDT
[#39]
Quoted:
I HATE that phrase. They ALWAYS start out with that, it never ever fails, someone will makes eye contact or walk towards you (you can see it a mile away, they want something) and its the 'ol excuse me sir shit. Cant they think of something new? Like maybe "Hey buddy...." and I could respond with "I'm not your buddy pal!" I mean come on, excuse me sir leaves nothing for me to work with. I usually just ignore them but that way of dealing with it is getting old. I need something for next time. ETA: draw down or blade at 45 has been used. If your wanting to be an asshole tell them there is no excuse for them they used it up when they were born. |
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Posted: 5/1/2011 8:17:09 AM EDT
[#40]
Quoted:
I HATE that phrase. They ALWAYS start out with that, it never ever fails, someone will makes eye contact or walk towards you (you can see it a mile away, they want something) and its the 'ol excuse me sir shit. Cant they think of something new? Like maybe "Hey buddy...." and I could respond with "I'm not your buddy pal!" I mean come on, excuse me sir leaves nothing for me to work with. I usually just ignore them but that way of dealing with it is getting old. I need something for next time. ETA: draw down or blade at 45 has been used. Make eye contact, very loudly say, "No, thank you" and keep walking. If they continue, I'll cut them off with, "You're telling the wrong guy". You really need to get rude and abrupt to pass the message... I am not the sucker you're looking for. |
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Posted: 5/1/2011 8:27:40 AM EDT
[#41]
one of my best friends ALWAYS does a preemptive strike on bums. When he sees them heading for us, he will bee line towards them and start asking for money, cigarettes, etc.
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Posted: 5/1/2011 8:35:36 AM EDT
[#42]
"I can't help you, SIR."
If you're reasonably in shape, they think you're a cop as the cops are the only people that use the word back on them. Of course, they get outta dodge quick. 
Kharn |
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Posted: 5/1/2011 8:35:45 AM EDT
[#43]
Unless you have a card reader up your ass your fucked.
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Posted: 5/1/2011 8:45:30 AM EDT
[#44]
Hey! Can you push a wheelbarrow and mix concrete? I have a 150' driveway to finish, and the last 2 guys just quit.
C'mon! I'll give ya $15 at the end of the day! |
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Posted: 5/1/2011 8:50:43 AM EDT
[#45]
Quoted:
Funny, the overwhelming majority of the times I've ever said, "Excuse me, Sir" to someone on the street it was because the person dropped something that appeared to valuable. If I would have received a rude response, that person would have lost whatever item they dropped forever. The only thing I've ever asked for from a person on the street is a light. ETA: The reason I posted this is because it's always best to be polite to people until they've given you a reason not to, even if you suspect that they are just looking for a handout. This! I'll also add that the wise become less cynical with age. Some people are just looking for a handout while many others are truly in need because of a bad turn of circumstances. Still others are mentally incompetent and just trying to survive. I remind myself how fortunate I am every time I encounter someone who's living in the street. |
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Posted: 5/1/2011 9:01:11 AM EDT
[#46]
Blade, hand hovering over CCW, "that's close enough", keep walking
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Posted: 5/1/2011 10:02:56 AM EDT
[#47]
Quoted: Quoted: Funny, the overwhelming majority of the times I've ever said, "Excuse me, Sir" to someone on the street it was because the person dropped something that appeared to valuable. If I would have received a rude response, that person would have lost whatever item they dropped forever. The only thing I've ever asked for from a person on the street is a light. ETA: The reason I posted this is because it's always best to be polite to people until they've given you a reason not to, even if you suspect that they are just looking for a handout. This! I'll also add that the wise become less cynical with age. Some people are just looking for a handout while many others are truly in need because of a bad turn of circumstances. Still others are mentally incompetent and just trying to survive. I remind myself how fortunate I am every time I encounter someone who's living in the street. |
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Posted: 5/1/2011 10:22:36 AM EDT
[#48]
Miss_Magnum:
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