Well it looks like im batting for the other team. - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Well it looks like im batting for the other team. (Page 2 of 4)

Posted: 10/3/2005 5:46:56 AM EDT

[#1]

Or, start talking about man poopers and then try and stick it in her pooper to compare.

Posted: 10/3/2005 5:47:56 AM EDT

[#2]

So what should I do?

Here's an idea: Don't post it on Arfcom!

Posted: 10/3/2005 5:48:25 AM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
Is this a disguised "Thinking about coming out of the closet" thread?

Don't be silly! Don't you know plenty of heterosexual men who pretend to be gay for laughs?

Posted: 10/3/2005 6:03:08 AM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
This all started about 2 weeks ago when one of my friends thats a girl jokingly asked if I was gay. Just then a lightbulb went off im my head....I would make her think that I really was gay. I like playing physiological games.

So over the past few weeks ive been giving her subtle hints that I was gay....and the other day she finally asks me if I was gay or bi.

And I make up this story about how at first I thought I was straight, then Bi, then I really realized I was gay. And she buys the whole thing...she already wants me to meet some of her gay guy friends!! Ive know this girl for about 5 or 6 years so she was pretty shocked....but the part that kinda hurt is that she said she always had a feeling I was gay.

So what should I do?

1. Keep playing along for awhile and suddenly tell her the shocking truth that im not and never was gay, and laugh at her.

2. Try and use it as an excuse for some of my friends that are girls to convert me back to being straight.

3. Or...Just stop now...ive gone too far already.

Everyone is always going to have doubt's about you now. Smooth...real smooth.

Posted: 10/3/2005 6:11:12 AM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:

Everyone is always going to have doubt's about you now. Smooth...real smooth.

Most of us did already.

Posted: 10/3/2005 6:15:03 AM EDT

[#6]

Anyone have a link to the Backrub Thread ©?

Posted: 10/3/2005 6:23:54 AM EDT

[#7]

look at the bright side, start going to gay bars and get free drinks all night.

txl

Posted: 10/3/2005 6:25:05 AM EDT

[#8]

Let me guess, you didnt think there was anything wrong with the man on man backrub thread either?

Posted: 10/3/2005 6:25:51 AM EDT

[#9]

let us know when you have your own goatse.cx site.

Posted: 10/3/2005 6:26:06 AM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
Go with it.

Less competition for the rest of us.

+1

Posted: 10/3/2005 6:28:48 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
I like playing physiological games.

You've know this girl for 5 or 6 years, so it can be assumed you stay with the same crowd.

How do you think that crowd will react when you eventually tell them you're not gay.

You're not gay, right?

I'm thinking this charade will come back and blow up in your face - no pun intended.

Posted: 10/3/2005 6:30:25 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
I like playing physiological games.

Like finding out if you can have a bowel movement after it is packed in extremely tight?

Posted: 10/3/2005 6:37:16 AM EDT

[#13]

It was just a game...right.

Dude, you fucked up. I can understand making a joke
or something, but to actively pretend that you are gay
is WAY beyond the norm.

Sorry, dude, but you have teh gay.

Posted: 10/3/2005 6:37:42 AM EDT

[#14]

This is too damn funny...

Can't wait to hear what happens.

Posted: 10/3/2005 6:40:02 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Can't wait to hear what happens.

It might violate the CoC.

Posted: 10/3/2005 6:43:01 AM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
This all started about 2 weeks ago when one of my friends thats a girl jokingly asked if I was gay. Just then a lightbulb went off im my head....I would make her think that I really was gay. I like playing physiological games.

So over the past few weeks ive been giving her subtle hints that I was gay....and the other day she finally asks me if I was gay or bi.

And I make up this story about how at first I thought I was straight, then Bi, then I really realized I was gay. And she buys the whole thing...she already wants me to meet some of her gay guy friends!! Ive know this girl for about 5 or 6 years so she was pretty shocked....but the part that kinda hurt is that she said she always had a feeling I was gay.

So what should I do?

1. Keep playing along for awhile and suddenly tell her the shocking truth that im not and never was gay, and laugh at her.

2. Try and use it as an excuse for some of my friends that are girls to convert me back to being straight.

3. Or...Just stop now...ive gone too far already.

DUDE, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU EVEN JOKE ABOUT SUCH A THING LIKE THAT.

Posted: 10/3/2005 6:48:34 AM EDT

[#17]

the joke is on you.

have fun with your new life style, remember tell your 1st to be gentle with you.

Posted: 10/3/2005 6:53:22 AM EDT

[#18]

I think it's gone on long enough.

HH

Posted: 10/3/2005 7:00:37 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Ive know this girl for about 5 or 6 years so she was pretty shocked....but the part that kinda hurt is that she said she always had a feeling I was gay.

I'm afraid the joke appears to be on you.

What he said.

What they said!

I can't imagine letting anyone think that you're gay...unless you are, or there's poon in the equation...

As in, 'See if you can change me....'

Eric The(OtherThanThat,You'reSick)Hun

Posted: 10/3/2005 7:03:31 AM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
Let me guess, you didnt think there was anything wrong with the man on man backrub thread either?

man if you're not into dudes you need to straighten this out with her now
eta-i mean epsilon not you cape hunter

Posted: 10/3/2005 7:05:49 AM EDT

[#21]

It would probably be more appropriate to just admit to yourself that you are gay. When your friends have always assumned you were gay, when admitting you are gay in public seems ok to you, well it's just time to stop lying to yourself.

Posted: 10/3/2005 7:19:52 AM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
Let me guess, you didnt think there was anything wrong with the man on man backrub thread either?

So you're saying that the men at your church don't go out in the woods and casually massage one another in a friendly, life-affirming way?

On another point, if a guy is actually gay, I don't see anything "suspect" or awkward about it, unless he's unhappy and secretive about it. My son came home from middle school one day and told me a story that involved some kid calling another kid queer (although, in a case of the language slippage that amuses the hell out of me, the word used was actually "gay"- as in "Frank, you're gaaaaaaay - PC and yet pejorative). I said "Buddy, that's like calling somebody a 'beer drinker.' If he drinks beer, he probably likes it and you can't hurt his feelings by pointing it out. If he doesn't drink beer, it's a pointless thing to say."

Anyway, my law partner just came in. I think I'll go give him an easygoing manly foot massage.

Posted: 10/3/2005 7:22:42 AM EDT

[#23]

No answer yet? Did he have a late night at the Blue Oyster Bar?

Posted: 10/3/2005 8:33:27 AM EDT

[#24]

You're not gay, right?

I'm thinking this charade will come back and blow up in your face - no pun intended.

Yes im NOT gay.

Nawwwww. Im always joken around with my friends.....once she finds out im not gay, shell probably slap me on the shoulder, and something like "I cant believe you did that"...then start laughing.

Anyway. Last night she invited me to go with her to a club to meet some gay guys!!! She did say if I go that the guys would probably try and take my shirt off....what the hell! Im NOT going that far! Thats a little too much for me....I can just see myself being jumped in the restroom by a gang of gay guys.

So I made up an excuse and she bought it.

Posted: 10/3/2005 8:37:48 AM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
You're not gay, right?

I'm thinking this charade will come back and blow up in your face - no pun intended.

Yes im NOT gay.

Nawwwww. Im always joken around with my friends.....once she finds out im not gay, shell probably slap me on the shoulder, and something like "I cant believe you did that"...then start laughing.

Anyway. Last night she invited me to go with her to a club to meet some gay guys!!! She did say if I go that the guys would probably try and take my shirt off....what the hell! Im NOT going that far! Thats a little too much for me....I can just see myself being jumped in the restroom by a gang of gay guys. So I made up an excuse and she bought it.

Is that your sexual fantasy?

Posted: 10/3/2005 10:23:47 AM EDT

[#26]

For some reason I think of this song when reading this thread.

"I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks" - Bloodhound Gang

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:08:40 AM EDT

[#27]

You must have a different kind of humor then me or all of my friends.

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:16:38 AM EDT

[#28]

So YOU are the one buying all the pink and lavender AR-15s!!!!

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:19:50 AM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
Play it out. You might get some nice dick out of the deal.

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:20:41 AM EDT

[#30]

Never play around with anything that would normally end up with knob-gobblin' (by you).

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:22:01 AM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
Tell her you are a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

Now that would be a "PHYSIOLOGICAL" game.

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:22:46 AM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
You're not gay, right?

I'm thinking this charade will come back and blow up in your face - no pun intended.

Yes im NOT gay.

Nawwwww. Im always joken around with my friends.....once she finds out im not gay, shell probably slap me on the shoulder, and something like "I cant believe you did that"...then start laughing.

Anyway. Last night she invited me to go with her to a club to meet some gay guys!!! She did say if I go that the guys would probably try and take my shirt off....what the hell! Im NOT going that far! Thats a little too much for me....I can just see myself being jumped in the restroom by a gang of gay guys. So I made up an excuse and she bought it.

Uh, your excuse should be "PSYCHE!!! I'm not really queer! Wasn't that HILARIOUS!!!!" and kiss her passionately. Because if you blurt out that you just played gay to get closer to her, she'll laugh and mace you. And then sell her story to Hollywood. Expect your part to be played by Jude Law.

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:23:08 AM EDT

[#33]

Do you like playing physiological or psychological games?

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:27:32 AM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
This all started about 2 weeks ago when one of my friends thats a girl jokingly asked if I was gay. Just then a lightbulb went off im my head....I would make her think that I really was gay. I like playing physiological games. Another +1 for the freudian slip thing.

So over the past few weeks ive been giving her subtle hints that I was gay....and the other day she finally asks me if I was gay or bi.Too bad that playing gay is the only way to get the attention of this chick's nether regions.

And I make up this story about how at first I thought I was straight, then Bi, then I really realized I was gay. And she buys the whole thing...she already wants me to meet some of her gay guy friends!! Ive know this girl for about 5 or 6 years so she was pretty shocked....but the part that kinda hurt is that she said she always had a feeling I was gay.
A straight guy would be pissed that a friend always thought they were queer

So what should I do?

1. Keep playing along for awhile and suddenly tell her the shocking truth that im not and never was gay, and laugh at her.She already thought you were gay, so, yea, it would be shocking

2. Try and use it as an excuse for some of my friends that are girls to convert me back to being straight. You have girls that are friends that you have not banged, and apparently need an excuse like this to bang you.

3. [lisp]Or...Just stop now...ive gone too far already.[/lisp]

I get attention from women because I am a man, not because I F*&k other men.

I need to re-edit this. It totally lacks any of the good natured ribbing that I intended.

I'll come back and insert some humor into the end of this post.

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:33:48 AM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:
Do you like playing physiological or psychological games?

Is anyone else struck by the coincidence that the slang term for psychological games is "head games?" Our man likes to play "head games." Hmmmm.

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:37:16 AM EDT

[#36]

So...Epsilon is a guy, right?

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:37:35 AM EDT

[#37]

If you people think your gay. You might as well be gay.

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:38:33 AM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
You gonna be playing catcher?

That is what I was thinking when I read the title.

Straight men never act gay.

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:44:50 AM EDT

[#39]

Epsilon, please change your username to Lambda.

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:57:34 AM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:
Tell her you are a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

And the only way out is through the penis, but you're gonna need help...

Posted: 10/3/2005 12:03:25 PM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
Tell her you are a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

+1

Posted: 10/3/2005 12:04:07 PM EDT

[#42]

Go back to the bi thing and ask her if you and a friend could double team her... and then tell her you're straight when you balls deep inside her.

Posted: 10/3/2005 12:11:42 PM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:
You're not gay, right?

I'm thinking this charade will come back and blow up in your face - no pun intended.

Yes im NOT gay.

Nawwwww. Im always joken around with my friends.....once she finds out im not gay, shell probably slap me on the shoulder, and something like "I cant believe you did that"...then start laughing.

Anyway. Last night she invited me to go with her to a club to meet some gay guys!!! She did say if I go that the guys would probably try and take my shirt off....what the hell! Im NOT going that far! Thats a little too much for me....I can just see myself being jumped in the restroom by a gang of gay guys. So I made up an excuse and she bought it.

OMG, he said "Joeken". Anybody on the AK side is going to know what I'm talking about.

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:26:09 PM EDT

[#44]

Quoted:
You're not gay, right?

I'm thinking this charade will come back and blow up in your face - no pun intended.

Yes im NOT gay.

Nawwwww. Im always joken around with my friends.....once she finds out im not gay, shell probably slap me on the shoulder, and something like "I cant believe you did that"...then start laughing.

Anyway. Last night she invited me to go with her to a club to meet some gay guys!!! She did say if I go that the guys would probably try and take my shirt off....what the hell! Im NOT going that far! Thats a little too much for me....I can just see myself being jumped in the restroom by a gang of gay guys. So I made up an excuse and she bought it.

Dude, please, just step away from the Arfcom. First rule of holes-when you find yourself in one, quit digging.

heh, holes.

Posted: 10/3/2005 11:37:35 PM EDT

[#45]

This man is a homer sexual.

Posted: 10/4/2005 12:12:50 AM EDT

[#46]

I'm wondering why she thought you were gay to begin with .
Especially since she has known you for 5-6 years .
My guess would be that she has never seen you with a woman
or has never seen you show interest in woman .

In fact I can't really think of anything else that would make her
think you might be gay ?