Was it saying sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch over and over again?

A male cockatiel is a good start. Only the males will be vocal. They live 13-15 years and are hardy and easy to care for. We currently have a quaker parakeet and a green cheeked conure. Birds tend to bond to one person and can be aggressive to other people.  

My Dad did this. They laid eggs. Had 5 birds then.

1. Get cat.

2. Cat eats parrot.

3. Win.

Wow, I did not know that...

Birds can be very cool pets

Lots of posts have already exaggerated some of the potential bad things.
We had a cockatiel that was pretty cool - I taught him to say a few different words and he could even say "here kitty , kitty ...here kitty kitty "
We would let him roam around the house at times
The bird loved to take a shower on your shoulders.

We had to re home him when my daughter was born , very bad respitory allergy to bird dander.

If you want a bird get one , but make sure you are ready for it. Buy a good cage this makes life much easier

This man spoke well, heed his advice.  

To add my own advice, if you get a bird, get rid of any air guns and bird shot rounds you may have around the house. The temptation can be great after the first few days of "Ain't it cool?".

Eta: 40+ years (off and on) of dealing with birds of all kinds. Finches to macaws. The only bird that will be in my home now is the one that flies through an open door or window.

I've had birds/parrots my entire life. My family got into them when I was a toddler. Growing up we had several parakeets, over half a dozen finches, several cockatiels, a conure, a blue and gold macaw, an amazon, an umbrella cockatoo, and four african greys (bought one about 19 years ago that I still own, and raised 3 others that we sold off). We had most of the parrots around the same time.

They take a lot of care and require tons of attention. It can be a lot of work. It can also be very rewarding.

They're not like other pets and you need to know a lot about nutrition, diet, and all sorts of things that can impact their health. There's a lot of food they can't eat and they can be vulnerable to all sorts of chemicals, cleaners, parasites, diseases, and psychological issues. The minimum recommended daily daily attention requirements are usually around 45-60 mins of direct interaction with up to 4 or more HOURS of indirect socialization. Indirect socialization can include them being in the same room as you while you go about your day. Parrots are kinda like owning monkeys or dolphins. They're intelligent and seem to go out of their way to get into trouble or be assholes. They can be amazing pets that are as or more rewarding than dogs, but they're more of a commitment and can have a huge impact on your life.

I'm in my late 20s and still have the african grey. He's around 19 years old and should live at least into his 50s or more. He knows thousands of phrases and sounds. He's an asshole and I love him, but he's a lot of work . Don't buy a parrot unless you are willing to dedicate hundreds of hours of research, attention, and work to them.

If you have any questions, ask away.

I leave you with Grump, the Undead Parrot. Any bird owner should read the full comic .  

Grump, the Undead Parrot (TheOatmeal)

And you can eat your yard bird for lunch when it gets on your nerves!

Loud, eject idea asap.

It was just a thought about getting a bird, but I think I'm convinced not to get one from the posters in this thread.
The one thing that really makes me think is how long some of them live.I'm not one to give up a pet no matter what or how bad it is.

So 30 years or so, or maybe longer is a life sentence for me and the bird especially that it might out live me since I'm 52 years old.

We have a male cockateil. He's a pretty cool little guy. Doesn't say any words but has his own set of sounds that he repeats and dances to. He probably makes about 50 different sounds in a pattern. It's actually pretty enjoyable and relaxing to listen to.

She doesn't tear anything up luckily. We had a Amazon that did though. She copy's damn near anything I try to get her too except fuck Obama. I'm beginning to think she's a liberal. For six months I've been trying to tech her fuck Obama and she just looks at me stupid.

birds are one of the worst animals to keep as a pet.

Don't buy a bird and try to treat it like a mammal.

They have totally different wiring.

Norwegian Blue

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I have a African gray you can have for free.


If you want your house wrecked

My buddy has one. Brutus has eaten thru two walls of Sheetrock then
Got into a locked cabinet and wrecked all the cereal and crackers.
He's fluent in English
pilotman says your ignorant.



Leaving something with the intelligence of a human 4 year unattended long enough to chew through a wall or get into a locked cabinet? Yeah I'd say that's pretty goddamned ignorant. If you did that with a kid you'd go to prison, do it to a bird and the bird is the dumb one. Got it.
I would strap 45lb plates to my ball sack and swim up the Amazon river with Rosie O'Donnell's queef as my air supply to prove my value to you.



That's just fucking wonderful. I always wanted to be like you - I always said to myself that I wanted to end up like someone on the internet from Arizona with the spelling and grammar skills of a six year old.



Just don't forget the black socks!

Birds are nasty pets.

When I was 10 I got an African Gray Parrot.  As a 10 year old I thought it was the coolest thing.  

He turned out to be a real bastard.  Oh he was smart.  Very smart as a matter of fact.  They say they have the intellectual capacity of a human child, and you could tell it was true.  Charlie was working things out all the time.  He was a great talker, and could imitate the tonal quality of person, I mean no shit he sounded just like the people he chose to imitate. AND he used words and phrases. He wasn't just mimicking sounds.

He bonded with my mom, which turned out well, because he lived with her, and I went on with life.  Charlie lived until I was 43, he was probably at least a year or two old when I got him. So he was at least 33 or 34 years old.  Quite honestly what killed him was teflon.  

If my father ever tried to cook he would invariably burn pots.  They didn't know that the fumes that come off burning teflon pots was lethal to parrots.  So his death was premature.  Some African Greys have been reported to live to be 60,70, even 80 years and beyond.   So it's potentially a lifelong commitment.

Just don't use teflon.  


At this point in my 40's, I just don't have the energy for pets.  Even though I'm a dog person, I probably wouldn't have a dog now if it wasn't for the kids.  As far as parrots go, it's a commitment.  But probably no more of a commitment than a dog, but still it's a commitment.  

If you want to go out of town, you have figure out what do with them.  You have to feed them and interact with them even on bad days, or days when you'd rather not. Oh, and believe me they demand it.  

Charlie was clean, hell he was trained to only go in certain places.  So he wouldn't crap off his perch or he'd only go outside.  Oh, and hell it's not like his crap smelled.  One downside to African Greys is the fact that they produce a powder instead of oils to clean themselves, but it's not too bad.  They don't stink.  You would have to clean up their nut and seed shells from time to time.  If Charlie needed his cage cleaned he'd start to get bitchy about it.  But other than that I don't get why people are saying they're nasty.  They had to keep Charlie's cage locked with a tiny padlock because he'd figure out how to open the most complex latches and get out and go exploring.  He loved solving puzzles.  After about 20 he had his flight feathers and enjoyed flying outside, but except for one two day jaunts he never flew away for good.  

IF I was so inclined, I'd probably avoid the Amazons, and go with one of the African species.  But I have no desire to own one now.    

I got Fred in Dec. of '78. He was a year old albino cockateel. After I learned to break him of biting and how to trim his wings, he turned into a wonderful pet for a single young man. He had a leg chain I would hook from him to my medical alert necklace and away to the bars we would go. He was a chick magnet. He trained me to watch the clock and every 20 minutes I would hold him over an ashtray and say "uhh-ohh" and he'd poop and be good for another 20 minutes. Cockateels are desert birds and thier turds are green rings with a white center. If he pooped on anything I could take a napkin, touch to the white part and toss the whole thing in the trash. Most pet birds are from the rain forest and spray crap everywhere...EVERYWHERE!!

Want to keep him quiet? put him in his cage and put a sheet over it. Did he chew? yep, that's what his wooden perch was for.

Want to hang with friends for the weekend? make sure his food and water bowl is full before you leave

Fred died at the ripe old age of 21...blind and deaf....one of my best pets

I still have birds, but Fred was a true pet.

That guy is a spitting image of Conan the Birdbarian, my first bird (and namesake). He's now ~22 years old. He's a senior citizen now, and likes his afternoon and morning naps. He's outlived a female 'tiel and a bunch of 'keets. It'll be a sad day for our family when he moves on.

Shop around, and you might get lucky and find a great breeder. There used to be a guy in my area who was disabled. He supplemented his income by breeding Cockatiels and I think Parakeets. The birds were his life. Conan was super friendly, and had no fear of people right out of the gate. Get the flight feathers trimmed, so they will be dependent on you, and learn to trust you. Treat it right, and you'll have a friend for many, many years.

Best advice here.  I've had a parrot, know other owners and work with wild animals for a living.

My Conan can say "Hey Conan" and "Pretty bird." When we lived in an apartment, he'd cat call my wife when she came home. Wonder where he learned that.
He loves to whistle along to the Andy Griffith show theme. He's also a racist, because he likes to whistle Dixie with me.

Their super smart anytime the water is turned on mine says want some water. So she knows what the word water means not just mimicking the word. When my dogs or Quaker parrot are being loud she screams quiet.she is mean to my four pitbulls though. She gets down on the floor and walks around the house and surprisingly and much of a bitch she is to the dogs and cat their scared of her.

One of these f**ing birds few into my yard 9 yrs ago.  I felt sorry for the feathered parasite and took him into family.  Pain in the ass..  Shoot the damm thing, now!!!

If you want a bird, get a chicken. Seriously. Get a Speckled Sussex pullet (hen). They are friendly, will eat from your hand and let you hold them, not too noisy, and will lay a few eggs. Very easy to care for.

The birds you are talking about are total assholes. My MIL had one like your picture. We celebrated when the little fucker died. She said she'd never get another bird.

Mine does say pretty bird. But its a combo of talking and whistling. He gets fired up when I wake in the morning and when he hears me coming home from work. One day I was eating spaghetti and he flew and landed on my plate and started eating. I think he knew I was pissed, he hasn't done that since.

Maybe she treated the bird bad or he was asshole. I dunno. Cockateils are among the most easy going birds.

Pretty much the same with mine. He is nowhere near as clear as a parrot. I'm definitely "his person," but he'll let anybody hold him. He's pretty good about letting others pet him as long as they follow his rules. If he gets upset, he just gives warning nips, never bites hard.

The only funny thing he has done was steal a CZ stone out of my sister's earring. He dropped it, and we had a heck of a time finding it. Ended up in the bottom of her glass of sprite. That was over 20 years ago, but we still laugh about it. Freaking jewel thief.

I do have some funny memories of Charlie.

He never bonded with me.  Oh, he would tolerate me, even get on my hand without biting too hard, but we never had a close relationship.  However, he loved my mother. She could put him on his back, scratch his neck, lift his wings and basically cuddle him without so much as a peck.  If I tried it he'd bite the living shit of me.    

Honestly looking back on it, it was the best thing that could happen.  Once I got into junior high and beyond the last thing I wanted to do was spend time with a parrot.  Which is the only advice I would give on the subject. Be careful about getting a long-lived parrot for a kid.  I'm not saying that ALL kids shouldn't have them as pets, but just most kids shouldn't have them as pets.  

I did do quite a bit of research on the subject.  I like the African parrots.  I don't think I'd own an Amazon, although I heard some okay things about the Panama Amazons.  The idea of a hormonal bird just doesn't seem good to me.  I think if you get one get it as close to weaned as possible.  Charlie was mature when I got him.  I have no idea what happened in the first 12-24 months of his life.  But he wasn't hand reared.  I know that.  He was neurotic as hell when I got him.  Hell, back then he might have been wild.  It took me forever to get him to let of the cage and get him on my hand.  There was a lot of pain involved.  

 


 

Nah, don't get a bird.



Get a monkey.



Let us know how much fun that fucker is once you have him a while.

I have a female cockatiel. Females do not talk or whistle. Males do. My cockatiel does tweet, etc. at times but not too loud. I put a cover over her cage at night so she knows it's night.

We had two cockatiels when I was a kid.  The last one died when I was about 24 or 25 I think.  We didn't even know how old they were when we got them.

They were amusing and fun in many ways, but when I was a child and teenager living with my parents I frequently became frustrated and aggravated with them since they simply would not shut up sometimes and would just ramble on very quickly.  They knew a few whistle tunes which were cute.  Also, one of them was vicious to everyone but my mom.  If you opened the cage he would instantly fly to her most of the time, and he'd bite the shit out of me.  The other one was always more docile and friendly.

Looking back I fondly remember them but I also don't forget how annoying they could be, and thus I'd never own them as an adult again.

My Umbrella Cockatoo was loud. messy and very demanding. He also destroyed a chest of drawers once. He was very loyal but holy crap was he destructive. The conjures we owned were much less demanding.

Get a crow outside of that birds fucking suck.

l have had a number of them. First, a love bird that was very friendly and would come sit beside you and even eat dinner with us. It loved hemp seeds (a normal and required part of bird food) and would pick them out of the other seeds and then sit up on its perch and rock back and forth with its eyes closed and chirp softly. Then it would move down to a certain part on its swing and masturbate wildly, rubbing its tail on the swing until it would suddenly shriek, throw out its wings and then climb back on its perch and sit there with its eyes closed. It made a good pet for one particular reason - it was hand-raised. Unfortunately, it caught cold one night and died.

There is a big difference between hand-raised birds and birds that are not hand-raised. Hand-raised will really bond with you. Not hand-raised will rarely be your friend, and never to the same degree as hand-raised. "Hand-raised" means that someone sat there with them around the clock feeding like a baby when they were very young - a lot of work.

Then we had a cockatiel that was hand-raised. If we let it out of the cage it would fly to me immediately and sit on my shoulder up next to my face. It was very attached to me. Like the lovebird, it was a sweet, loving bird that tolerated handling really well -- as long as I was doing the handling. It loved me to stroke it under its chin. It was pretty much indifferent to anyone else. Then it died of a respiratory problem. When they go, it is about 24 hours from the first sneeze to a dead bird, so you have to get them to the vet quickly.

Then we got some blue and gold macaws. They are supposed to cost a couple grand each if you buy them in the store, but we accumulated three of them for free from Craigslist ads. They were all rescue birds that we got from other people who couldn't care for them anymore and wanted them to have a good home. We soon found out why they were free.

The first one was a hand-raised female, about a year old when we got her, with an expected life span of about sixty years. So, if you are serious, you start making plans in your will for these birds. The first one was a sweet-tempered thing that would sit on a child's arm peacefully and liked us to fix her a plate of whatever we were having for dinner so she could eat with us. The first thing you need to know, if you care about the bird, is that these birds need socialization and companionship probably more than puppies. If they don't get it, the results can be disastrous. She was a wonderful bird with a few small drawbacks.

The first drawback was that she screeched at random throughout the day and they (I shit you not) sound as loud as a fucking jet engine. I mean ear-splitting, painful levels of sound. More about this later.

The second drawback was that she shit every fifteen minutes, like clockwork. Not just a little shit, either, but big eight-inch long runny piles of shit. So you tend to want to keep them in a confined area just to limit the huge amount of shit. That brings us to the next issue.

Big birds are used to having the whole fucking jungle to fly around so, if you put them in a cage (5 feet high by 3 feet by 3 feet) they get really frustrated and start plucking their own feathers. This is what happened to the second bird we got. The second bird had been left in the cage so long that her chest was completely bare and all she did was sit on the bottom of the cage holding her wing over her head and screaming. That is, when she wasn't slicing my fingers open with her beak. I still have a two-inch scar where she laid me open like a fillet knife.

So they need to get out of the cage, and have some companionship, which brings us to the next problem -- (not the problem of big runny green piles of shit at random places). That is, they need to chew, and they will chew up every piece of wood - furniture, kitchen cabinets, window blinds, and whatever else. That is, even though you have bought them a bunch of shit to chew.

So to get the first one some companionship (because the second turned out to be a psycho) we got another one, a big male who had been in the cage so long he didn't know how to fly. And, he had a nasty personality. Big birds with a nasty personality are really something. You will want to kill the motherfucker on a regular basis.

So we wound up with three macaws. Each would shit each fifteen minutes, which, with three of them, meant a new pile of big, green, gooey shit every five minutes, around the clock. The bird area was off of the family room, near the kitchen, so we stopped having dinner parties. Nobody wanted to eat around screeching, shitting birds.

As you are looking at these big piles of shit that you are thinking about the fact that their food costs more per pound than a good New York steak, and you buy it by the fifty-pound bag. They shit half of it out and scatter the other half all over their area so, in terms of dollars, they definitely eat better than you do. That doesn't count the supplemental fresh fruits, vegetables and meats (they like chicken and steak). In order to control the mess, think of donating one bedroom with a door you can close. But don't let that bother you because there is more fun.

The first macaw (the sweet one) and the male started to get it on, which was good for the mental health of the female, but then she began to pick up the male's behavior patterns, so she wasn't quite as lovable as before. They will generally bond with one other animal. If that is you, then you need to be there on practically a full-time basis. If they bond to another bird, they will both spend a good deal of their time screaming at you like banshees from hell. Imagine the racket if someone lit up an F-15 engine in your living room. It is something like that. Not just loud, but painful fucking loud.

We eventually built a cage outside to deal with the shit and the noise. Those are tropical birds, used to the weather found in South American jungles, so 100 degrees is just about ideal for them. That means they aren't at all equipped to deal with cold weather or snow, so the cage had to have a full time heater going throughout the winter. Figure a 1,000 watt electric heater running 24-7 full-time all winter as part of your costs.

You could also consider a cockatoo. They look sweet and lovely, and just the kind of thing you would want to have as a pet. What you don't hear is that all the cockatoos that are like that are less than about three years old. After a few years, their personality changes entirely and they are some of the meanest, nastiest fuckers you will ever meet. So you get about two or three good years with them, and then another 60 years or so of absolute fucking hell.

So get a hand-raised cockatiel and nothing bigger. Fucking seriously.

That's hilarious.  

I didn't know Cockatoos went through the kind of personality changes you're describing.  I knew Amazons did.  But they say they can mellow a bit after they go through the psycho hormonal phase of transitioning into sexual maturity (I think at 5 years).  During their "bird puberty" they can be absolutely horrible, to the point that they're not recommended for the inexperienced owner.   Like I wrote earlier some Amazons are better than others in this respect.  

Hand-raised parrots are definitely the way to go.  If they're not friendly when you get them, making them friendly is an uphill battle.  It can be done, but you'd have to be a fairly good bird trainer willing to put in a lot of time.  I know I wouldn't take another bird like Charlie.  The seller "sold" him saying it'd just take time for him to get use to me.  ...well he never did.

It's probably better just to find a good breeder and deal directly with them.  Find one that hand-feeds their birds, and make sure to handle the bird before you buy.  If it seems overly skittish, or bites, don't buy it.  It's just too much of a pain in the ass to deal with neurotic bird.  

Of the larger birds I think a good hand-fed African Grey or Timneh African Grey, which is supposed to be a more personable subspecies of Greys would be an okay choice.  I've also heard good things about Cape Parrots, which are kinda rare in the states, and I imagine would be somewhat more expensive.  

The smaller African parrots also seem to be pretty good birds, Senegals, Meyers, and Jardine.  Although I think they all have their pros and cons.  

I wouldn't have a macaw, that's just too much bird.  I do think there is a smaller species of macaw, Military? Severe macaw?  I can't remember, that might be a better choice if you want one.  

My sis has a beautiful blue handfed lovebird. It's delightful to hold. It just climbs all over you and nestles right into you. They're not all like this but the ones who are properly handled from day 1 are amazing. They're better to handle if they've always been alone, because if they get used to having another bird around they'll prefer the bird over human attention.

Only do this if you aren't planning on handling the bird about 40 min a day or more. If you get two they will prefer to be left with eachother and not enjoy human contact nearly as much. They can get a bit nippy if you don't make the bird see you as it's companion.

Why anyone would get a bird, cat, snake, mouse, hamster, frog, turtle, ferret, etc... is beyond me.

you don't want a bird...noisy, dirty, disease prone pets that can be expensive to take care of..

My wife worked for a vet for years.
She says bird people are always neurotics,
cray-cray, mashugana, loco.
Don't go there!

the head of our dept is a bird person, she's not only a little nuts but she picks her nose and does not bath regularly...she's also 50+ years old, in terrible shape and wears leather pants..

My parents have three Quakers that I watch for them when they are on vacation. They are fun birds that require a lot of attention and upkeep with keeping their cages clean. Birds are loud when they get annoyed and aren't shown any attention. They aren't statues that just sit in the corner somewhere.

Terrible,terrible idea. They are by nature pure assholes. If you are lucky it will bond with you but that still means its going to be an asshole to everyone else. One of the worst pet birds IME.



If you must have a pet bird,a hand raised cockatiel is the best going. They are noisy and messy but tend to have great dispositions.

Same here . A week or ten days at a time is ok but I wouldn't want it full time . The one I bird sit for has a bit of personality
but even the most aloof dog has it beat ten times over

Get a dog instead

This, or at least stick to mammals as pets.

Birds shit a lot.