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Umm, I don't mean to make a bad day worse, but there's something wrong there........ edited to add All right, Burley saw it before me..... |
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I give you an extra 10 points for putting four words like this togther...of course queer by itself is not a swear word but in the context it works for me. Nice job MTS... |
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1) Coat a quarter,a dime and a nickle with your DNA
2) Let dry 3) Coat the change again with urine 4) Let dry 5) Serve your DNA potporri to them in a envelope shoved under the door |
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+1 Might wanna go to town hall and ask for a hardship extension before they cut off your utilities... Good Luck, Pete |
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When you stop by to pay your huge debt ask to use their toilet. Once there do an "upper decker" in the shitter.
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What's worse is I hear postage is going to be 39 cents. If they sent you a self addressed envelope I would put a letter in there saying "FUCK YOU EAT SHIT! YOUR 40 CENTS JUST GOT EATEN ON THIS ENVELOPE ASSHOLES!"
ahhh collectors. |
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He's not on the SEBR list is he? Might want to delay his a couple weeks...
BTW, my week has been pretty fuckin shitty too. Thanks for the laugh. |
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Tell them you're sorry, but the change fell out of your pocket in the washing machine. They can pick up the money out of the machine as it's being fixed.
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That's the best one yet. I'm going to have to go the the Chinese buffet for dinner tomorrow and then drop off the $.40 on Saturday morning. |
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winner right there.. |
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A friend told me once he was harrassed endlessly by AT&T for an outstanding past due balance of...wait for it....$0.00. Thats right, $0.00. Threats of lawsuits, credit smearing, etc, etc. He called CS several times to clear it up, they all laughed and said they would take care of it. But the letters still came.
He finally wrote them out a check for $0.00 and mailed it in. Guess what appeared in his returned checks the next month? That's right, they actually cashed the check for $0.00 and the letters stopped! |
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BEST RANT EVER!
That was fucking hilarious Now, pay your fucking bills! |
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That is the best part of the whole rant. |
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Dude, If you want, I'll Paypal you the 40 cents.....relax. What's your e-mail addy?
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Mo-Town Steve:
I think you should get some shoe-polish, darken yourself up, put on a do-rag, a bunch of bling, baggy pants, a Glock 40, and walk in there as your new rap persona: "Foh-tey Cent!" |
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The Machines have taken over! Demanding their check for 0.00 dollars and their bill for .40 cents over the washer.
Go home and gear up, Skynet has become self aware and is fucking with you. |
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You know, they say that everyone out there has a twin they don't know about. Darn glad to meet you. As far as this "debt" goes, you can do several things not mentioned in previous posts: Give them a 40 cent coupon for douche or a shoehorn to get that stick out of their ass. Give them 40 cents Canadian. Aluminum is about 40cents per pound. You see where this is going. Make sure you shred it into fine peices and piss on it. Maybe some Doe-in-heat urine and a hair dryer. One 37cent stamp and 3 1cent stamps. Collect pennies that a train has ran over. 40 of them. In the middle of the night, wheel your washer in front of the managers door. Do it close enought that a glued-together-roll of 40 pennies just fits between them, and then glue the pennies to the door, and the washer to the pennies. You no longer have a broken washer, and they have their Goddamned 40 fucking cents. |
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The Ryder thing is a common scam they like to play. I remember it from when I used to work for them.
Get receipts everytime you pay the rent, dont be late, take it inside personally. Apartments are commonly plauged changes of management companies each one handles things differently. We just had a management change at the shit hole ghetto I live in. One day I come home to find a similar note on my door. They claim their wonder system found that I was $492.00 behind. I go round and round with these people to no avail. I get a summons to a evection hearing, I show up with no legal counsel, I'm broke I cant afford one. I present copies of signed receipts from the last 4 years of residence. Judge throws out the case. I come home today and guess what? I'm magicly $56.00 in the positive. That just isnt possible |
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It's been a while since I've read a good rant, and this was a fine one.
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hmm,
Didn't you once Choke-A-Bitch for far less... Musta' been another. |
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We have a winner!!!!!! Best thread in a long time...Thanks for the laugh...I needed it. SG |
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Ladies and gentlemen, pay attention. This is how you rant. |
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I agree, although I think a "dust off and nuke it from space" with 40 cents strapped to the bomb would better |
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They're on to you, ya filthy gun owner!
Now she's trying to get you evicted, in favor of an Austin transplant named "Sunflower" or "Moonbeam". |
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MS,
I won't claim that I know the Texas Property Code, chapter and verse but this CUNT is unfuckingbelievable. IM me if you have any general questions. You should be able to google it also. You have "squatters rights" now eta FWIW, I'd really consider moving. Really sounds like trouble and these 'tyrants' seem to be force feeding these form letters to their paying customers. Sucks but alot of complexes operate just like this "buy and don't worry about low lifes like this" |
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That's a pretty good rant there. I don't think anybody but The_Macallan could top that.
I do know how annoying those stupid apartment complex notes are. One time, I got a note on my door demanding that I remove the aluminum foil from my windows or be evicted, complete with my apartment number. Problem is, I don't have and have never had any aluminum foil on my windows. My next door neighbor, however, has aluminum foil on one window, and some kind of blanket on another. I figured the idiots can't figure out what apartment is what in their own fucking complex. So, I took pictures of my window and my neighbor's window with my digital camera and made up a letter with the pictures to demonstrate their mistake for them, and dropped it off in their mailbox. I had a day off to talk to them a couple days later, and everything seemed to be fine then. Now, I own a house. Much better, so far, at least. Profanity and offensiveness aside, it sounds like your biggest problem is the "payroll problem" at work. Get that fixed, and everything else should be small potatoes. Is everyone where you work having that problem? How long have you worked there? How easy would it be for you to work somewhere else? |
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Man - I have been out of the loop a bit, I was off the forum a while.
But isnt this the same motown_steve who "Vadered" some jackass at a gun show? Yet now I see you caving in to the BS of the world. Buck up, man! Youre too big of a bad ass to let little shit like this worry you. And if you do, you'll have a heart attack at 40. From another Steve, keep up the good fight, something will fall inline. |
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That was SC-Texas. |
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send them a payment of .50 cents. you will be clear and they will spend upwards of about 25.00 + for someone to process the refund and return you a check.
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+1 |
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I will certainly say that you have shown much initiative and creativity in your post. However, I noticed that you did not use "fuckfaced shitweasel" or "pig-faced sack of rat guts." Now, this might be an artisitic difference, or simply an oversight brought upon by your significant emotionally-distressed state. In any case, I am happy to have you among the ranks of those of us who truly aprreciate the fine art of profanity for fuck's sake.
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That was a very eloquent critique. |
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Well, I'll be dipped in shit and fried as a hushpuppy. And thanks. |
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motown_steve, I take back all the bad things I've said about you. That was a great rant.
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You owe $0.40 in rent? Ask them if you can make payments on the debt. Tell them you will put in an extra $0.03 a month for the rest of the year and on the last month pay off the last $0.04 in full the following month. And be sure to get a fucking receipt!
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Sucks being motown_steve
So, I'll see you tomorrow at Tiger Valley, right? |
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Do us all a favor......tell us how you REALLY feel !! |
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Remember... Postage goes up on January 1 |
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Steve:
Deep breath in, deep breath out. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Seriously, it was some good ranting but you won't be any good use to anyone if you get your self all worked up to the point where you get sick or something. |
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You're kidding, right? |
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