Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
BCM
User Panel

Site Notices
Page / 6
Link Posted: 11/29/2023 11:42:19 PM EDT
[#1]
First thing is go to the dr and get tested. Then go get a lawyer.
Link Posted: 11/29/2023 11:43:29 PM EDT
[#2]
Im not a lawyer but the first thing you need to do is start socking away child support payments.

If you think you are not giving that bitch anything…..the “family” court system will hang you by your balls for the rest of your life…..  you have a social security number and a job…. You’re fucked.

The second thing you need to do is find a GOOD divorce attorney. Someone who actually will fight and advocate for you. Then do what they say.

This is going to be hard to accept…. But life gets better. It will suck some days but it will generally  get better.

This is going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done.
Link Posted: 11/29/2023 11:45:30 PM EDT
[#3]
Nothing good comes from going to the mattresses with lawyers and the courts.  Some times you just have to cut your losses fast and rebuild.

Stop the bleeding.

I wouldn’t let the anger fester because there is really nothing you can do about the situation if she’s moved on.  It’s a reality that the entire legal system is designed to undermine paternal influence and ultimately the nuclear family.  The only viable hedge is a woman earning also.
Link Posted: 11/29/2023 11:45:50 PM EDT
[#4]
Mine had an emotional affair, with sexting videos and pictures, etc, never physical as they weren’t in the same state.  It ended just over three years ago.  We tried counseling which is a waste of money.  She never physically left me but she checked out a long time ago and never came back.  We homeschool our kids so I’m stuck with her for another ten years.  After that, she can GTFO!
Link Posted: 11/29/2023 11:46:40 PM EDT
[#5]
Document everything and gather evidence to use in court.  
Link Posted: 11/29/2023 11:47:35 PM EDT
[#6]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


I feel bad for them. Either they got to witness their mother fuck their "uncle" and think about how she's fucking their lives too because of what Dad will do if he finds out.
Or, you've made such an impression on them that they don't give a fuck.

So, figure that out and go from there is my suggestion.
View Quote


that's part of why I'm so angry. I have always done everything for my kids, never stayed out drinking, never raised a hand in anger, I play toys and games with them and all the rest.. I tried to set a good example, get up, work, pay bills, be responsible, etc
either they're more afraid of their mother's reaction for telling me anything or have no respect for me because of the example she has shown and I have allowed to happen such as it were.. hindsight is 20/20 and I should have kicked the fucking bitch out the day I found out or left, but I'm not willing to give up everything I've worked so hard for because she's a whore, and she wouldn't leave, so I bided my time and tried to work out an amicable 50/50 split agreement.

This shit I found out yesterday has really thrown a wrench in things. It reopened the wounds like it was yesterday. I'm still soo fucking angry and just can't comprehend it. I worked, paid the bills, we always had new cars, kids in private school, she didn't have to work, and she wiped her ass with all of it because he was "her first boyfriend in 1st grade" and they've had a "long term love" all this time..
Link Posted: 11/29/2023 11:54:10 PM EDT
[#7]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
The best revenge is living well. And karma is a thing. Just be patient.
View Quote


This.  Had a similar thing happen to me and as painful as it was at the time the above is true..
Link Posted: 11/29/2023 11:54:36 PM EDT
[#8]
Been there.  Get a good lawyer.  Settle things quickly and move on.

It seems like the end of the world now, but life will go on.

My ex got custody of the kids 22 years ago and moved to a different state.  Never saw them as much as I would have wanted, but we made our time together the best.

They are all grown and on their own.  They know how much I had to sacrifice to pay child support, their college tuition, etc.  They come to me for advice on important things (not their mom) and that warms my heart.
Link Posted: 11/29/2023 11:55:58 PM EDT
[#9]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Part of the problem is, I make 130k a year and she's made nothing over the last 6.
I can't take the kids to school or pick them up because of work    and there's 3 of them I'd get ass raped in child support and probably alimony because she'd have to have them during the week

I know cold and rational is the best thing, but I resent her and all the lies and deceit and want her and him to suffer tremendously
View Quote

Bear in mind the longer you stay married the more of your retirement she can get.
Link Posted: 11/29/2023 11:58:08 PM EDT
[#10]
She was common trailer trash wasn’t she?
Link Posted: 11/29/2023 11:59:43 PM EDT
[#11]
This too shall pass. Live well and be well.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 EDT
[#12]
How old are the kids?  That helps determine response.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:01:23 AM EDT
[#13]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
She was common trailer trash wasn’t she?
View Quote


yes, and the methbilly drywaller she is soo in "love" with is just as bad apparently.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:04:55 AM EDT
[#14]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

This minus Karma.    Karma is bullshit. If true then it means he deserves what he is getting
View Quote

What if this opens the door for something better for him? (It will)

It definitely won’t for her
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:09:43 AM EDT
[#15]
My 1st wife divorced me.
My 2nd, wife I divorced her.
My 3rd wife widowed me. She was the love of my life. It's been almost a year and a half.

I have been "singled" every way you can be. The 1st two are never ending episodes of turmoil. Even if I never see them.

My 3rd wife? Grief notwithstanding, there is some sort of peaceful understanding.

As others have stated one way or another, in all that you do, keep your dignity guarded.

Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:09:44 AM EDT
[#16]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Part of the problem is, I make 130k a year and she's made nothing over the last 6.
I can't take the kids to school or pick them up because of work    and there's 3 of them I'd get ass raped in child support and probably alimony because she'd have to have them during the week

I know cold and rational is the best thing, but I resent her and all the lies and deceit and want her and him to suffer tremendously
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Lawyer up as in yesterday.

And do not go cheap. Find the best, most ruthless one you can.

Revenge is a dish served cold.

Ice cold.

It will be worth it in the end.


Part of the problem is, I make 130k a year and she's made nothing over the last 6.
I can't take the kids to school or pick them up because of work    and there's 3 of them I'd get ass raped in child support and probably alimony because she'd have to have them during the week

I know cold and rational is the best thing, but I resent her and all the lies and deceit and want her and him to suffer tremendously


Posting again. Read the advice of the people who have been through this again because it hasn't sunk-in with you yet. Sorry to sound mean.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:10:50 AM EDT
[#17]
BTDT.

Sorry bro, there is only one thing you can do which is tough it out and move on.

I know, easier said than done. Took me several years to get over my ex that stole my children from me, lied to get a restraining order, and forced me to sell my guns at threat of LE confiscation.

Same betrayal, same lies. I've been in your shoes.

I'm also a govt. Employee (cleared) and i really had to take time to place my life in perspective and learn to live with the new normal.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is going to suck. No other way to sugar coat it.

I tend to focus heavily on work and work mass OT (if available) rather than do the booze thing. It works. Just keep in mind that some states allow OT to be factored into child support, so learn your states laws on this before  doing so.

Pick up skydiving. (Seriously)  it is a great way to feel alive again and when you jump, you have 60 seconds of just you and what you're doing in your brainspace. No room for anything else.  It's fleeting,  but it really allows you to focus outside of the pain and issues.  It also give you access. To a whole new community of really cool people and something to look forward to on weekends beyond sitting at home seething and angry.

Take some time to find yourself. Be kind to yourself. You cannot control other people. You can only control yourself, your actions, and reactions.  Take control of your three foot world in ways that you never have before. It's all you have so take advantage of it.

Learn meditation.  Use it every time you get angry. Seriously, it helps.

Like i said, it isn't going to be an easy ride, but it's one you MUST take now, so either make the best if it and come out better, or let it make you a bitter, fucked in the head, waste.

I'm now at two divorces(it gets easier to handle the more you do it, although it's not experience i really wanted in life), but in CHOOSING to move forward and be better, i'm now at a high point in life, my career, my personal life(my GF is awesome as hell and waayyyy better looking than my exes). I'm making a difference at my work and what i do creates ripples felt around the world, so i feel accompmished in my profession.  My gun collection is bigger than ever, my kids are grown and my money and time are my own.  

It WILL get better. You just need time, space, focus, and once again, i cannot stress this enough, be kind to yourself. You are the only you that you have. Treat you with respect.

And really, take up skydiving. You'll thank me.

Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:12:32 AM EDT
[#18]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

This minus Karma.    Karma is bullshit. If true then it means he deserves what he is getting
View Quote


I've thought about that too. I sit and wonder what I've done to deserve this evil bitch in my life to screw me over so completely like she has. I'm not perfect but I think I'm a good person.
I don't drink to excess ( do drink though) quit smoking years ago, have never cheated, don't lie or steal, I make time to spend with my kids daily, either playing games/toys or just talking, doing homework etc.
I really try my hardest to be a good person. not a saint, but a good decent person.

I could probably take them out to do more things but with the spectre of their mother hanging over me I have been in quite the funk these last few years.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:13:23 AM EDT
[#19]
I didn’t have kids… but after years of reflection, my ex-wife cheating on me was the best thing that could have happened.  It sucks they are such cowards and that’s how they choose to deal with it, but it is what it is. Dont make any drastic changes… be the honorable man you’ve always been. It gets better and with work, your life WILL be better in the long run without her. And it’s tough to say and accept… but hopefully hers will as well.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:17:06 AM EDT
[#20]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Posting again. Read the advice of the people who have been through this again because it hasn't sunk-in with you yet. Sorry to sound mean.
View Quote


I am, my mind is just going in circles right now, I guess it's a common thing i just can't wrap my brain around it, no matter how I turn it around in my head, you know?
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:17:15 AM EDT
[#21]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I didn’t have kids… but after years of reflection, my ex-wife cheating on me was the best thing that could have happened.  It sucks they are such cowards and that’s how they choose to deal with it, but it is what it is. Dont make any drastic changes… be the honorable man you’ve always been. It gets better and your life WILL be better in the long run without her. And it’s tough to say and accept… but hopefully hers will as well.
View Quote



This is true. A few years after my first ex left me, the dam finally broke and i realized that she really did do me a favor.

Same with the second one, strangely enough. Thought i'd be with her forever, and it wasn't until after she left that i realized just how toxic that relationship was.

Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:18:43 AM EDT
[#22]
OP, I’m sorry.

Not sure what else to say. Sounds like you need a good attorney and follow their instructions.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:22:37 AM EDT
[#23]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

This minus Karma.    Karma is bullshit. If true then it means he deserves what he is getting
View Quote

He is. He deserves a loyal woman who will be an asset not a liability. And that’s exactly what he is going to get.

And as noted, her life will most likely not improve and her upcoming unhappiness is her getting what she deserves

Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:23:10 AM EDT
[#24]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
BTDT.

Sorry bro, there is only one thing you can do which is tough it out and move on.

I know, easier said than done. Took me several years to get over my ex that stole my children from me, lied to get a restraining order, and forced me to sell my guns at threat of LE confiscation.

Same betrayal, same lies. I've been in your shoes.

I'm also a govt. Employee (cleared) and i really had to take time to place my life in perspective and learn to live with the new normal.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is going to suck. No other way to sugar coat it.

I tend to focus heavily on work and work mass OT (if available) rather than do the booze thing. It works. Just keep in mind that some states allow OT to be factored into child support, so learn your states laws on this before  doing so.

Pick up skydiving. (Seriously)  it is a great way to feel alive again and when you jump, you have 60 seconds of just you and what you're doing in your brainspace. No room for anything else.  It's fleeting,  but it really allows you to focus outside of the pain and issues.  It also give you access. To a whole new community of really cool people and something to look forward to on weekends beyond sitting at home seething and angry.

Take some time to find yourself. Be kind to yourself. You cannot control other people. You can only control yourself, your actions, and reactions.  Take control of your three foot world in ways that you never have before. It's all you have so take advantage of it.

Learn meditation.  Use it every time you get angry. Seriously, it helps.

Like i said, it isn't going to be an easy ride, but it's one you MUST take now, so either make the best if it and come out better, or let it make you a bitter, fucked in the head, waste.

I'm now at two divorces(it gets easier to handle the more you do it, although it's not experience i really wanted in life), but in CHOOSING to move forward and be better, i'm now at a high point in life, my career, my personal life(my GF is awesome as hell and waayyyy better looking than my exes). I'm making a difference at my work and what i do creates ripples felt around the world, so i feel accompmished in my profession.  My gun collection is bigger than ever, my kids are grown and my money and time are my own.  

It WILL get better. You just need time, space, focus, and once again, i cannot stress this enough, be kind to yourself. You are the only you that you have. Treat you with respect.

And really, take up skydiving. You'll thank me.

View Quote

skydiving hadn't crossed my mind, but I do have 32 static line jumps from my army days (not nearly the same I know, but walking out that door at 800 ft or 3000 is probably similar, minus the 50lb ruck hanging and crushing your collarbones)
I've been kicking aorund the idea of the migflug edge of space flights.. take a trip to russia and fly in a mig at 70k ft

Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:24:22 AM EDT
[#25]
Sorry about the shit you're going through dude, stay strong for the kids and know that it'll get better eventually. Make sure your lawyer is top notch.

Also, this is why I don't get married
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:24:28 AM EDT
[#26]
PSA

Do not "Fall In Love With" a sex addicted Slut! Mental mind fuck is the only thing you will get out of it! Well that? And awesome, amazing sex!

Mental note! The sex is awesome? Because she's banged more guys than your average porn star! Literally!

I should start a self help group

ETA: Fixed the description above! At least whores are smart enough to charge money for it!




Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:25:40 AM EDT
[#27]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

He is. He deserves a loyal woman who will be an asset not a liability. And that’s exactly what he is going to get.

And as noted, her life will most likely not improve and her upcoming unhappiness is her getting what she deserves

View Quote

This guy gets it
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:25:47 AM EDT
[#28]
Been through a similar situation so I know how you feel. It's the worst when you have kids. I will say 5yrs has gone by and I'm in a better spot in life and a better relationship. So it does get better.
Be there for your kids and take them to do shit any chance you get. Definitely get a lawyer. Good luck man
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:30:26 AM EDT
[#29]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Focus on your kids and grind through the process of finalizing your divorce. It will get better.

It’s a business that is breaking up at this point. It’s just money. You can make it back.

I gave my ex a house, a car, the expensive guns from the collection, $1.2 million and $4,000 a month for the rest of her life after she cheated and filed for divorce. I’m better off for it.

It will get better.
View Quote

Wow. I wish I had that much to lose, let alone be better off for it. Kudos, and I don’t doubt it

Off topic for a moment-
May I ask what you do and whether you’re hiring? It’s time I make a move into something new and more rewarding
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:30:39 AM EDT
[#30]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

This minus Karma.    Karma is bullshit. If true then it means he deserves what he is getting
View Quote

Damnit
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:32:34 AM EDT
[#31]
Go to the gym.  Lift weights or run on the treadmill.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:33:10 AM EDT
[#32]
OP: things are not as bad as they seem. Many here have been down the same road.

1. Many feds have an "EAP" (employee assistance program) they can call for free help. They can help with a lawyer and child care. I'd call them and ask for help. It's free.

2. Can you move in a female relative to help with the kids? Can you get part-time help to do school pickups or drop-offs? Can the kids go into before and after care? Doing this shows the judge you can and will care for the kids as well or better than mom.

3. Can you do a temporary alternative work schedule to spend more time with the kids? You just need to get past the initial hearings....

4. From the situation you describe, she might be in the "love" phase with Mr. Wonderful where she won't be acting very strategically about the divorce. This is your best time to act and I'd sue for full custody. I would move fast if I were you.

5. Consider hiring a PI. Then you will have an iron-clad report in hand proving the adultery. The PI might be able to document drug use and can definitely find past criminal convictions of Mr. Wonderful.

6. We do have a WV lawyer on the site who might be able to refer you to the best family lawyer in your county. You need the attorney who golfs every week with the judges and is godfather to the judge's kids.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:34:02 AM EDT
[#33]
Take  deep breath .don't blame your kids.
Get a really good attorney  
Find a girl 20 years younger in A year or so .
I'm serious
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:34:04 AM EDT
[#34]
BTDT.  EXACTLY the same thing.

Good advice all up and down this thread.

Get a good dog (or cat).

PM me if you want.  It does suck big hairy puss-filled donkey balls now,  but if you keep your shit tight, you will come out ahead.  Bitches know that, and they... go even more crazy knowing you DGAF.  

Live your best life and laugh at hers.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:34:30 AM EDT
[#35]
No reason to get pissed at the guy as he did you a favor. You’re mad and hurt today, but that guy did you a solid.

Remain calm, focus on keeping the kids custody and work on yourself. Take a few weeks vacation to Thailand or the Phills. Get lots of pictures and videos. Send them to your EX.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:34:57 AM EDT
[#36]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

skydiving hadn't crossed my mind, but I do have 32 static line jumps from my army days (not nearly the same I know, but walking out that door at 800 ft or 3000 is probably similar, minus the 50lb ruck hanging and crushing your collarbones)
I've been kicking aorund the idea of the migflug edge of space flights.. take a trip to russia and fly in a mig at 70k ft

View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
BTDT.

Sorry bro, there is only one thing you can do which is tough it out and move on.

I know, easier said than done. Took me several years to get over my ex that stole my children from me, lied to get a restraining order, and forced me to sell my guns at threat of LE confiscation.

Same betrayal, same lies. I've been in your shoes.

I'm also a govt. Employee (cleared) and i really had to take time to place my life in perspective and learn to live with the new normal.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is going to suck. No other way to sugar coat it.

I tend to focus heavily on work and work mass OT (if available) rather than do the booze thing. It works. Just keep in mind that some states allow OT to be factored into child support, so learn your states laws on this before  doing so.

Pick up skydiving. (Seriously)  it is a great way to feel alive again and when you jump, you have 60 seconds of just you and what you're doing in your brainspace. No room for anything else.  It's fleeting,  but it really allows you to focus outside of the pain and issues.  It also give you access. To a whole new community of really cool people and something to look forward to on weekends beyond sitting at home seething and angry.

Take some time to find yourself. Be kind to yourself. You cannot control other people. You can only control yourself, your actions, and reactions.  Take control of your three foot world in ways that you never have before. It's all you have so take advantage of it.

Learn meditation.  Use it every time you get angry. Seriously, it helps.

Like i said, it isn't going to be an easy ride, but it's one you MUST take now, so either make the best if it and come out better, or let it make you a bitter, fucked in the head, waste.

I'm now at two divorces(it gets easier to handle the more you do it, although it's not experience i really wanted in life), but in CHOOSING to move forward and be better, i'm now at a high point in life, my career, my personal life(my GF is awesome as hell and waayyyy better looking than my exes). I'm making a difference at my work and what i do creates ripples felt around the world, so i feel accompmished in my profession.  My gun collection is bigger than ever, my kids are grown and my money and time are my own.  

It WILL get better. You just need time, space, focus, and once again, i cannot stress this enough, be kind to yourself. You are the only you that you have. Treat you with respect.

And really, take up skydiving. You'll thank me.


skydiving hadn't crossed my mind, but I do have 32 static line jumps from my army days (not nearly the same I know, but walking out that door at 800 ft or 3000 is probably similar, minus the 50lb ruck hanging and crushing your collarbones)
I've been kicking aorund the idea of the migflug edge of space flights.. take a trip to russia and fly in a mig at 70k ft



It's quite different. Leaning to fly your body is worlds beyond static line.

And you get to use a square canopy and save your knees and back from the insults of round canopies.

And the women in skydiving are cute, hot, and generally take good care of themselves.   There are a few crazy ones as with any other activity, but for the most part they are pretty stable and awesome.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:35:11 AM EDT
[#37]
Lawyer
Divorce
Move on
Work hard for your kids until they are all 18

Enjoy your life after that
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:35:29 AM EDT
[#38]
Been there. Remain calm, make rational decisions. It gets better with time, but it sucks in the moment.
No one who has not been in that situation can understand what you are going through.

Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:39:29 AM EDT
[#39]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I called in a favor from a human pitbull, and had him deliver a message.

The message was received.

And that's all I got to say about that.
View Quote

WHYYYY MEEEE
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:39:56 AM EDT
[#40]
OP - Sorry to see that you are going thru this...

Sounds like me some 20 years ago...

Things have a way of working out...

Get your game plan together...

start closing the joint credit cards

Start closing the the open lines of credit...

Make sure that she has some funds.  Make sure all the bills are being paid.

Get a good lawyer - focus on the important shit.

You got it...so get it in gear.

I changed up my hours at work - took the kids to school and picked them up - worked a full time job - full custody.  she had visitation - I was having fun with nurses on my off weekends - yes they are as wild as you think that they are....

Red

Edit to add - There is nothing new under the Sun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:42:02 AM EDT
[#41]
Hang in there OP


There are good women out there that aren't completely fucked up.

They are all crazy to a certain degree. But some good ones are out there. It's kinda like fishing near a nuclear power plant.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:42:13 AM EDT
[#42]
You made the decision to make kids with this woman, so don’t hold it against them.

Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:42:19 AM EDT
[#43]
Separated is just the early stages for divorce, you started this journey some time ago.  It's time to rip the bandaid and talk to a lawyer and get it over with.  It won't get any better the longer you wait and you'll feel better when you get to move on.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:42:34 AM EDT
[#44]
Quoted:
Separated from there evil bitch but still married because the kids and custody have become a continuous issue.
I refuse to pay her anything so it's a standoff.
I know I'll probably be the loser if it comes to court over custody, regardless of the infidelity on her part. I'm not leaving my kids and my future in the hands of some fucking judge on a crapshoot hope I "win"

I recently found out she was taking my kids to see the guy she was fucking calling him "Uncle" and then coming back and saying I need this that and the other (money) "for the kids"

I'm so fucking livid right now and can do nothing about it. I can't throw her off a fucking building can't go kick the guy's ass (fed employee can't jeopardize my clearance and job..
So I sit here stewing in impotent rage and can do nothing about it.
What am I going to do, "cheat" on her while she's moved on? Fuck hookers for revenge? Not really an option and wouldn't matter anyway.

So I get up and go to fucking work and pay the bills but I'm fucking boiling inside. And still hurt by the betrayal and the fact that my kids never thought to tell me anything about any of this shit.
They're old enough to know better yet let their mother lie to them and believed it and "didn't want to upset me"

Part of me wants to get in my truck and just start driving, fuck this house and job and all the rest, but the rational part says no.

What the fuck do I do? I don't have the time, energy or inclination to even try to get into another relationship, and really don't want one anyway.

Those who have been here, what did/do you do?
View Quote


If you actually own any guns and ammo, you should just ASSume she is going to get a restraining order or an order of protection against you.  Then the sheriff deputies come to seize your guns.

Plan ahead by finding a place to stash your guns say like a relative’s house or sell them to a hunting buddy for $1 each .

The next stop….possibly…. Through your path through Hell is she convinces one or more of your kids  to say that you have been molesting them.

Again, you should prepare for that.

Lawyer up.



Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:49:04 AM EDT
[#45]
As plenty have pointed out: run yourself until you aren't angry. Then go hit the gym.

Rinse. Repeat. Sleep won't come easily so you have to burn yourself out.

Once you get your body in track to beast mode, start going out to slay pussy 10 years younger.

This is the true way to revenge.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:49:33 AM EDT
[#46]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
This. I still yet have to see a spouse break vows, end up with a better life.

take care of your health, fitness and kids. You will see a payoff. Not today, most likely not even tomorrow. But in time  you'll see.

Take my word.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
The best revenge is living well. And karma is a thing. Just be patient.
This. I still yet have to see a spouse break vows, end up with a better life.

take care of your health, fitness and kids. You will see a payoff. Not today, most likely not even tomorrow. But in time  you'll see.

Take my word.


+1
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:50:36 AM EDT
[#47]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
No reason to get pissed at the guy as he did you a favor. You’re mad and hurt today, but that guy did you a solid.
View Quote




This.  My 1st wife cheated.  Awash with grief I booted her from the house, made her give me her ring back, filed for a legal separation.  Then I agreed to try counseling.  Didn't work.  This was in '08/'09 - business was crushed and I was a wreck all around.

Started running daily with my dog and mtn biking.  Started hunting again.  

When I arrived at the conclusion that the guy did me a favor, my thoughts progressed to the realization that I can live with her or what she did but not both.  That's what I told her when I said we're done, I'm finalizing the divorce.  She thought I'd take her back.  Part of me wanted to.  I liked being married.  Like you I did all the money making and so-forth.  But I'm not a jealous person and don't want to be.  Couldn't stand the thought of knowing I cucked myself and always second guessing everything she was doing forever.

The anger will subside.  Take action.  Lawyer up.  Boot her to the fucking curb yesterday.  

She's almost 50 now.  Never remarried, no kids.  I on the other hand have an amazing family and life - hell, several of my ex-inlaws are still clients and I routinely interact with her brother at the gym we frequent.

If you stay you will go mad and do something you regret.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:52:51 AM EDT
[#48]
This heartbreak will break you. It’s up to you whether you leave the pieces broken, or use this as a chance to put yourself back together better than before. But regardless of which it is, this is the part that hurts. Endure it.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:54:00 AM EDT
[#49]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Bear in mind the longer you stay married the more of your retirement she can get.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Part of the problem is, I make 130k a year and she's made nothing over the last 6.
I can't take the kids to school or pick them up because of work    and there's 3 of them I'd get ass raped in child support and probably alimony because she'd have to have them during the week

I know cold and rational is the best thing, but I resent her and all the lies and deceit and want her and him to suffer tremendously

Bear in mind the longer you stay married the more of your retirement she can get.


Date of separation should be the cut off date. But she can contest date of separation.
Link Posted: 11/30/2023 12:55:04 AM EDT
[#50]
I'd get a good lawyer.

Page / 6
Close Join Our Mail List to Stay Up To Date! Win a FREE Membership!

Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!

You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.


By signing up you agree to our User Agreement. *Must have a registered ARFCOM account to win.
Top Top