Women's rights.


-PAGE 2 IS MINE

I came in here just to post that.

A man and a woman are on their honeymoon night in West Virginia.  As she undresses, the newly wed wife tells her husband that she is a virgin, and has been saving herself just for him.  The newly wed man screams in horror, and runs out of the room, into his truck, and all the way back to his family's house.  Upon relating the tail to his father, the man is told he done right.

"She ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."

Polygamists

so a famous artist is commissioned to paint the last thing that went through gen custers mind.


at the day of the unveiling, the proud artist threw the sheet off his masterpiece only to show a painting full of flying cows in the sky and a foreground full of fornicating indians.


the director of the museum pulled the artist aside an said "what the hell is this!?"  

the artist responded-    "custer was thining 'holy cow what are all these fucking indians doing here?"

I was just about to post this myself...surprised someone beat me to it.




 

OLD  VERSION: The  ant works hard in the withering heat all summer  long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The  grasshopper  thinks the ant  is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come  winter, the ant  is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper  has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.



MORAL  OF THE STORY: Be  responsible for yourself

MODERN  VERSION:


The ant  works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The  grasshopper  thinks the ant  is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come  winter, the shivering grasshopper  calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant  should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and  starving.

CBS, NBC ,  PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of  the shivering grasshopper  next to a video of the ant  in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America  is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How  can this be, that in a country of such wealth,  this poorgrasshopper  is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit  the Frog appears on Oprah  with the grasshopper  and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Acorn  stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group  singing, 'We shall overcome.'  Rev. Jeremiah Wright  then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's  sake.

Nancy Pelosi &  Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry  King that the ant has gotten rich off the back  of thegrasshopper,  and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC  drafts the Economic Equity &  Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the  beginning of the summer.

The  ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number ofgreen bugs  and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is  confiscated by the Government  Green Czar.

The  story ends as we see the grasshopper  finishing up the last bits of the ants  food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's  old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The  ant has  disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper  is found dead in a drug related incident and the  house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize  the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL  OF THE STORY:  Be  careful how you vote in 2010.

Three rabbits are sitting on a log in the woods.

One of them gets up and says "awwww fuck it", then goes home and hangs himself.

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag."

"Oh, really? Darn!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me. "

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no", said the little old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, $20 or off it comes.

"Well, that seems only fair" laughs the cop. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well, you know, not everybody pays".

I read the whole thing.



Amazing story.





 

I read that entire thing..and chuckled