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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:13:17 PM EDT
[#1]
There is a strip club called Bandaids in Phoenix AZ. I dont dare step foot in there for fear of what the trips to a psychologist would be.
It looks every bit as trashy as it sounds.
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:14:00 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Bar in Michigan has a one-armed stripper. That sounds like a win, not fail. 
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:14:08 PM EDT
[#3]
Amateur night many, many years ago at the Cherokee outside of Ft Benning.
Kinda chubby girl, not ugly, but not something you'd be proud to have on your arm gets up on stage and starts dancing. Started taking off her clothes and was immediately bombarded with calls to put them back on when her holey/dirty/nasty underwear was revealed. |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:14:18 PM EDT
[#4]
I've only been to a strip club once, and we wound up leaving in a big hurry because the guy who rode there with me surreptitiously pissed all over the door guy's kiosk desk thing while talking to him. So, this is mostly a tag for hilarity.
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:15:49 PM EDT
[#5]
I got a table dance from a mother and her daughter.
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:17:34 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I got a table dance from a mother and her daughter. <wince> That's kinda fucked up. Was it worth it? |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:18:09 PM EDT
[#7]
i had a random girl in a strip club parking lot come at me swinging and try to kill me after i told her id buy her a drink if she sucked me off
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:18:09 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I got a table dance from a mother and her daughter. Sounds like winning to me.
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:19:38 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
<wince> That's kinda fucked up. Was it worth it? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: I got a table dance from a mother and her daughter. <wince> That's kinda fucked up. Was it worth it? Yep.
But it was fucked up. |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:20:15 PM EDT
[#10]
last " club " i went to.. i was " refused "entry because my shirt had no sleeves .
wtf ? |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:21:20 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Yep. But it was fucked up. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: I got a table dance from a mother and her daughter. <wince> That's kinda fucked up. Was it worth it? Yep. But it was fucked up.  |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:22:24 PM EDT
[#12]
Chubby dancer came out and started dancing. Some guys heckled her and she started crying and fled from the stage. Couple other dancers came out and chastised the hecklers...it was comical.
So, poor manners.....in a strip club...? LOL. |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:22:53 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: last " club " i went to.. i was " refused "entry because my shirt had no sleeves .
wtf ? Keeping the local gangbangers and underdressed ARFCOMmers out. Their club, their rules. There was a club in Arlington @ one time that charged for table dances inversely by the weight of the dancer. |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:24:04 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
There is a strip club called Bandaids in Phoenix AZ. I dont dare step foot in there for fear of what the trips to a psychologist would be. It looks every bit as trashy as it sounds. thats just gay,. i can understand not wanting to go for a bunch of valid reasons .. but "fear of what the trips to a psychologist would be." doesnt cut it. lebares is open..
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:25:12 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Had a shoe fly off the foot of a stripper twirling around the pole one time. Came within inches of pegging a buddy in the head. At another buddy's bachelor party one time, we went to a totally nude place. One of the strippers (who was quite good looking IIRC) kept reaching behind her ass and putting her hand inside her underwear repeatedly. It was frequent enough to be noticeable. Finally the drawers come off, and she keeps doing it. Eventually she ended up on her hands and knees right in front of me (we were sitting right up at the stage). She turned around and her ass was right in my face. Turns out she had a giant hemorrhoid and she had been reaching back to shove it inside her asshole.   |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:25:24 PM EDT
[#16]
Local joint about 10-12 years ago.
Big girl.....not fat just Amazonian , but not good Amazonian. Like Russian weightlifter big. I see her dance for some other dumbass, her signature move was to jump up as high as possible , landing with her ass on dudes lap . Fuck that shit She comes over, won't take no for an answer ..... Proceeds to dance........goes for the signature move.... While she's in the air I push away and me and the chair slide out from under her ...... 
Yep, she lands flat on her ass. She wants to get pissed, I told her , honey I told you I didn't want a dance , and you're insane if you think I'm going to let you jump on me like that.
Stupid bitch . 
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:25:31 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
There is a strip club called Bandaids in Phoenix AZ. I dont dare step foot in there for fear of what the trips to a psychologist would be. It looks every bit as trashy as it sounds. I drive by that place every day on the way to work! I feel unclean just driving by it. The HiLighter on the other hand...that is my kind of dirty. Had a buddy visiting from out of town and he got a BJ there a couple months ago. Every trip to a strip club has a fail somewhere...just can not think of a good one at the moment. |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:26:22 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Keeping the local gangbangers and underdressed ARFCOMmers out. Their club, their rules. There was a club in Arlington @ one time that charged for table dances inversely by the weight of the dancer. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: last " club " i went to.. i was " refused "entry because my shirt had no sleeves .
wtf ? Keeping the local gangbangers and underdressed ARFCOMmers out. Their club, their rules. There was a club in Arlington @ one time that charged for table dances inversely by the weight of the dancer. this was baby dolls in Dallas. no biggie. just hadnt been to one in YEARS.. then i get. sir you need sleeves to look at tities .. we did turn around and leave... but not before getting a eye full of tities,... i will not be denied TITIES! saw tities and paid. zero in my mind i won
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:27:47 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yep.
But it was fucked up. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted: I got a table dance from a mother and her daughter. <wince> That's kinda fucked up. Was it worth it? Yep.
But it was fucked up. That would be.....awesome!....in a fucked up kind of way
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:29:02 PM EDT
[#20]
Well....
Lemme see here. 
How about the stripper I got into a fight with at MY bachelor party?
How about the stripper that pee'd on my leg while in a club?
How about the stripper that got into a fight with another stripper over me in a club? 
How about the stripper that cried and sobbed because told her I wasn't interested in "going home with her".
It's best for me to stay away from strip clubs. Dumb shit and retard drama always happens.... 
-ZA |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:29:09 PM EDT
[#21]
Austin, TX about 1982.
Buddy turns 21. Wants to go see strippers. Okay. Me and several other friends take him to a strip place. I've forgotten the name of the place. As evening wears on, 21yr old is getting drunker and drunker. One decent looking girl is out in front of us dancing. As she stands ass over him, Drunk21yr Old stands up kisses her right in the boo-tay.
She instantly spins around and smashes one of her huge heeled shoes into his face. Then she picks up my drink(which was in a tall GLASS) and smashes that over his head. Broken glass flies everywhere, including hitting one of our group right near his eye. He is bleeding big time. Stripper continues to bash on Drunk 21yr Old. Quite effectively too.
Bouncer runs over to grab him and slices his hands on the glass shards stuck in Drunk21yr Old hoodie when he grabs at his neck. I manage to get the stripper off Drunk21yr Old. Stash him in the car. Tell the others I'm getting him out of there. On the way home, Drunk21yr Old pukes in the back of my car. Awesome night.
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:29:23 PM EDT
[#22]
I went to one with some buddies
dancer came out and had hand print bruises all up and down her back where the guy had been grabbing on Thats about as wild as it gets for me |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:29:48 PM EDT
[#23]
Clermont Lounge in Atl a couple summers ago.
For those that have never been there, this place is basically a dive bar with some nudity. Well my group was standing off to the left of the bar around/ on a platform that was raised about 8 inches from the main floor. One of my buddies who was really trashed ended up losing his balance and falling off this platform. Except he didn't just fall... he fell right into a stripper that was walking by taking her to the ground as well. Needless to say, she was not happy. He also ended up somewhat cut up and covered in who knows what from the floor of that place. |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:32:05 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Remember Shepherd Park, back in the old days?
Way back in the olden days: Had a high school buddy getting married, took the guy to Goodguys for a drink a couple hours before his bachelor's party.... The stripper had him do a quick congratulatory muff-dive. I took him home before the party, where he was living with his GF. He walks in, she comes over and gives him a big smooch, rears back and starts punching his face off. "I know that smell, yousonuvabitchgetthefuckout......" That was awkward. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Goodguys in D.C. My buddy and I went there for his graduation. The stripper had a monkey bar like apparatus where she would swing her legs out spread eagle to a guy standing directly in front of her. Well my buddy was a bit tipsy. She swings out legs all wide open. He leaned in and got smacked in the nose by the stripper's pelvic bone and broke his nose. One of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Way back in the olden days: Had a high school buddy getting married, took the guy to Goodguys for a drink a couple hours before his bachelor's party.... The stripper had him do a quick congratulatory muff-dive. I took him home before the party, where he was living with his GF. He walks in, she comes over and gives him a big smooch, rears back and starts punching his face off. "I know that smell, yousonuvabitchgetthefuckout......" That was awkward. How about 3 Captains in Landover....Saw a Stripper shoot her ex-boyfriend there... Not so great times.
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:32:50 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: this was baby dolls in Dallas. no biggie. just hadnt been to one in YEARS.. then i get. sir you need sleeves to look at tities .. we did turn around and leave... but not before getting a eye full of tities,... i will not be denied TITIES! saw tities and paid. zero in my mind i won Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: last " club " i went to.. i was " refused "entry because my shirt had no sleeves . wtf ? Keeping the local gangbangers and underdressed ARFCOMmers out. Their club, their rules. There was a club in Arlington @ one time that charged for table dances inversely by the weight of the dancer. this was baby dolls in Dallas. no biggie. just hadnt been to one in YEARS.. then i get. sir you need sleeves to look at tities .. we did turn around and leave... but not before getting a eye full of tities,... i will not be denied TITIES! saw tities and paid. zero in my mind i won That was painful to read without punctuation.
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:34:06 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
That would be.....awesome!....in a fucked up kind of way Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted: I got a table dance from a mother and her daughter. <wince> That's kinda fucked up. Was it worth it? Yep.
But it was fucked up. That would be.....awesome!....in a fucked up kind of way I got one from mom earlier in the night. Daughter came up later and said my mom said you were nice guys , want a dance? We said sure who is your mom. She danced for you earlier, mom waved at us. It was a totally nude place. |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:34:38 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I had a girl at Legs in Martinsburg, WV queef a dollar bill about 14 inches into the air from an upside-down split position. She had me fold it like a tent and place it over something that looked like a birds nest full of chewed gum and bacon grease. Oh... Strip club fail? Sorry - Wrong thread. Oh fuck...I'm crying here!!! 
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:37:59 PM EDT
[#28]
Lactating mom squirting the guys on pervert's row...
whoops this is the FAIL thread...I should have put it in the WIN thread 
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:39:15 PM EDT
[#29]
Went to Centerfolds in Denver and my buddies and I managed to get seats right up to a side stage. A cougar with big bolt ons gets up and does her thing. Close to the end of her set, she walks up to me and puts one ankle on each of my shoulders giving me a great crotch shot. She then slid back and forth a couple times, but apparently lost control, next thing I knew, her vag had hit me in the face
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:39:48 PM EDT
[#30]
Tag for hilarity...
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:40:18 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Like I said. If its your thing go for it. There is no reason to be offended friend  Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I have never had the desire or the displeasure of visiting a strip club I guess if that's what you're into go for it. Its Just not for me Like I said. If its your thing go for it. There is no reason to be offended friend Thanks for letting us know twice. |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:42:13 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: thats just gay,. i can understand not wanting to go for a bunch of valid reasons .. but "fear of what the trips to a psychologist would be." doesnt cut it. lebares is open.. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: There is a strip club called Bandaids in Phoenix AZ. I dont dare step foot in there for fear of what the trips to a psychologist would be. It looks every bit as trashy as it sounds. thats just gay,. i can understand not wanting to go for a bunch of valid reasons .. but "fear of what the trips to a psychologist would be." doesnt cut it. lebares is open..  |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:43:59 PM EDT
[#33]
Topless Billies in NYC
All banged up my buddy throws a tip on stage to Daisy Duke. You tip or you get yanked from stage side. He realized it was a $20, thought it was a $1. He tried to climb up on stage and retrieve it. It got a bit pushy in there, so we ended up on the street PDQ. Chick was cranky and bouncers were huge. |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:44:46 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Had a shoe fly off the foot of a stripper twirling around the pole one time. Came within inches of pegging a buddy in the head. At another buddy's bachelor party one time, we went to a totally nude place. One of the strippers (who was quite good looking IIRC) kept reaching behind her ass and putting her hand inside her underwear repeatedly. It was frequent enough to be noticeable. Finally the drawers come off, and she keeps doing it. Eventually she ended up on her hands and knees right in front of me (we were sitting right up at the stage). She turned around and her ass was right in my face. Turns out she had a giant hemorrhoid and she had been reaching back to shove it inside her asshole.
You win |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:45:20 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I drive by that place every day on the way to work! I feel unclean just driving by it. The HiLighter on the other hand...that is my kind of dirty. Had a buddy visiting from out of town and he got a BJ there a couple months ago. Every trip to a strip club has a fail somewhere...just can not think of a good one at the moment. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: There is a strip club called Bandaids in Phoenix AZ. I dont dare step foot in there for fear of what the trips to a psychologist would be. It looks every bit as trashy as it sounds. I drive by that place every day on the way to work! I feel unclean just driving by it. The HiLighter on the other hand...that is my kind of dirty. Had a buddy visiting from out of town and he got a BJ there a couple months ago. Every trip to a strip club has a fail somewhere...just can not think of a good one at the moment. I will have to visit once again.
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:48:49 PM EDT
[#36]
I can't tell my best story because of the CoC
Another time I went to a club with my boss. We both went in his car. Stayed till closing. My boss left with a stripper and left me there. 100% stranded. 
I called my girlfriend at 3am to come get me. She did. Decided she was a keeper if she gets out of bed at 3 am to pick her drunk stranded boyfriend up from the strip club so I married her. 
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:49:01 PM EDT
[#37]
Three words...
Dottie's Body Shop |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:50:23 PM EDT
[#38]
Was at a strip club for my 21 with a bunch of my friends, my dad and his friends. One of my friends pays the stripper $50 bucks to pull me on stage and "work me over". Get pulled on stage and undressed to boxers. Two strippers lay me down and start grinding on me. At some point they roll me over on my stomach.
Next thing I know I have one stripper sitting on my shoulders and one on my legs. All of a sudden I feel my boxers being pulled down, then liquid in between my ass cheeks. I start bucking like a fucking bronco not know what the fuck is going on. I feel the strippers get off me and I'm able to roll over and see what transpired. Apparently the stripper sitting on my legs took a full beer and put in between my cheeks, she was getting ready to cork the fucker when my dad runs up and yanks the beer out of here hands, and starts screaming at the stripper saying. "Ain't know way I'm gonna stand by and let something get shoved up my boys ass! Bouncers had to come over and calm my pops down.
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:51:12 PM EDT
[#39]
Exec team goes to vegas and meets with a customer.
Customer happens to OWN a big strip club in town. 4 of us go as guests. We get 1k of "House Money" each from the owner. Girls go nuts trying to get us to VIP room. 2 of us go. I'm mildly sober so I quickly realize that each song is $100, and only lasts about 30 seconds. I split after my house money is gone. The CFO - who was shitting in the cab on the way there...is to f'd up to know what's going on. I look for him, but VIP area is dark and big. About 45 minutes later theres a huge commotion. Its our CFO fighting with the dancer, bouncer etc... yelling NO WAY etc... He spent all the house money, all his money, and was short just under a grand. ATM was tapped out and I had to loan him the dough. Let's just say, we didn't close the deal with the owner after the big scene.
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:51:29 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I was at a strip club getting a lap dance from a girl and we start talking and I find out she's from Joshua, where a lot of my family is from. Turned out she was a cousin of mine I hadn't seen since I was a teenager and she was a young girl. The point at which we realized it she was grinding on my dick so it was kind of awkward. Did u let her finish? |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:52:40 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I can't tell my best story because of the CoC
Another time I went to a club with my boss. We both went in his car. Stayed till closing. My boss left with a stripper and left me there. 100% stranded.
I called my girlfriend at 3am to come get me. She did. Decided she was a keeper if she gets out of bed at 3 am to pick her drunk stranded boyfriend up from the strip club so I married her. You win. On many levels. |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:54:52 PM EDT
[#42]
When I was a college student, I was assigned the duty of finding a strip joint for one of my friend's brother for a bachelor party. I was pretty young and inexperienced with these establishments so I decided to just go down the freeway and walk into a few and look around. One place had a jukebox that the huge women on stage would select songs off of. Another place had a midget stripping when I walked in the door. She sure could move quickly and swing around the pole with those little arms and legs. The third place looked the darkest and smelled kind of musty. I walked in and looked around and saw an asian girl giving a guy a lap dance. She was at a distance and turned around and looked me in the eyes. We both froze for a moment. It was one of my best friend's little sister. I turned around and left. This all happened on the same day. I decided to let someone else find a place for the bachelor party.
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:56:26 PM EDT
[#43]
Cheetas (?) Outside littlecreek anphib base.
Went in with an mp I had been talking to. Told her ide be right behind her and tossed my pistol under the seat of my car... Walked in with her and as soon as I get inside tell her I have to go back to my car real quick... As soon as we sit down a group of 4 guys sits behind us (I guess they weren't tipping) Chicks come out to dance carrying blankets to lay down on the stage and start dancing on all 4s... They all looked like cats that reciently had a litter... |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:56:43 PM EDT
[#44]
Winner!
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I was at a strip club getting a lap dance from a girl and we start talking and I find out she's from Joshua, where a lot of my family is from. Turned out she was a cousin of mine I hadn't seen since I was a teenager and she was a young girl. The point at which we realized it she was grinding on my dick so it was kind of awkward. |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:57:05 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I went to hilighter with a fellow arfcommer, after he suggested bandaids. Glad we ended up going to hilighter. I will have to visit once again. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
There is a strip club called Bandaids in Phoenix AZ. I dont dare step foot in there for fear of what the trips to a psychologist would be. It looks every bit as trashy as it sounds. I drive by that place every day on the way to work! I feel unclean just driving by it. The HiLighter on the other hand...that is my kind of dirty. Had a buddy visiting from out of town and he got a BJ there a couple months ago. Every trip to a strip club has a fail somewhere...just can not think of a good one at the moment. I will have to visit once again. Let me know. I'm a 3 minute drive from it. Taxi ride home is cheap!
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:58:12 PM EDT
[#46]
I've seen a stripper with a "fuse" hanging out of her vag. Almost lost it on the floor.
The other times weren't so much fails as just plain hilarious. They all revolve around a nice little methhead truckstop/"newstand"/bar called the Silver Slipper in Ottawa, IL. Fucking hilarious place. Chicks are trashy and gross, but they are enthusiastic and will get all over that 2 story pole. Good friend saw his first "wink" there. Another one had the legs draped over the shoulders, face full of snatch, when the stripper decided to beat the shit out of his face WITH her snatch. Unreal. This dude was getting destroyed all with a stripper crotch. Looked like he'd been slapped in the face repeatedly afterwards, but curiously he was happy about it. |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:59:22 PM EDT
[#47]
Saw a black girl do a somersault into a guys face as her wig went flying into the crowd.
Got tapped on the shoulder only to look up at some 18 year old chic with a gigantic skull and crossbones tattoo covering her entire stomach and visibly recoiled from her. Saw a co worker get smacked in the balls when he got to close. One girl that was very young I told her to just go home and rethink life. One place was a traveling strip show that showed up at all of the remote country bars. I was sitting in a chair and the girl does a flip onto my lap and proceeded to try and rub it in my face. Strip club was closed down that I had gone to a few times and there was a public service message asking anyone who had sex with one of the girls to see a doctor ASAP as she had the AIDS. |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 5:59:36 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
The Yellow Rose in Morgan City LA. One girl had no tits, flat as a board. One was slightly pregnant. One was decent but had a bad boob job. The ex-stripper 35 year old grandmother bartender had cut marks going up her arm. I got gloriously drunk that night since crew change and freedom was the next morning. I will see your Yellow Rose and raise you Jimmy Cs in Houma. Had a genuine midget working the floor and the bartender was 8 months pregnant chain smoking and drinking all while wearing a tube top. The Hornets Nest in Galliano is slightly worse. I love south Louisiana. |
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Posted: 1/12/2015 6:01:55 PM EDT
[#49]
My college room mate ended up marrying one of my old girlfriends. For his bachelor party we hit a strip club in LA. We were all a little buzzed and he says, watching the hotty stripping, "Susan doesn't do that for me!" Without thinking about it I replied "She did for me." Ooops. Fortunately he drank enough to forget about it!
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Posted: 1/12/2015 6:04:52 PM EDT
[#50]
I saw a stripper down in Miami, full nude, dancing with a glow stick shoved in her asshole.
Went to the Booby Trap outside of Birmingham, AL and the girls had pick and pay for their own music out of the jukebox. They had blocks of wood chained to the tables that were beat on the table for applause. The had a "Beat Your Wood" contest about every hour and the winner got a t-shirt or something. I saw a Mexican stripper in Phoenix, bigger girl, yank her bottoms off and proudly show off her hair underpants. Watched two strippers in Louisiana whip the shit out of a buddy of mine and rip his shirt to shreds onstage since it was his birthday. Walked into a strip club in Homestead-ish, FL and saw just the top of a midget strippers head as she was walking on the other side of the u-shaped bar. I laughed so hard I nearly pissed myself. I saw a hot stripper in Phoenix who danced the pole super aggressively yank it out of the ceiling and go bouncing across the stage. I saw a stripper in Elko, NV with the longest gym sock titties I've ever seen. Her bullet wound scar rounded out the package. I did hang out with a couple of drunk strippers one night at an empty club in Panama City, FL and had them full on making out and groping each other and me. I was sitting in the middle of the couch with one on either side. |
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