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Posted: 1/20/2006 7:14:35 AM EDT
[#1]
Restrain by whatever means necessary. Call authorities. He is worth more to us alive and humiliated, than dead and martyred. Tell the media to kiss my ass.
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Posted: 1/20/2006 7:14:48 AM EDT
[#2]
Hi
 Welcome, wont you come in?  |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 7:21:19 AM EDT
[#3]
I've always wanted to buttstroke somebody with my Garand and he would be the perfect target. And then maybe stick him with the bayonet on my Enfield for good measure.
John |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 7:23:33 AM EDT
[#4]
8 rounds of .45 acp. Now where's my $25million?
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Posted: 1/20/2006 7:24:05 AM EDT
[#5]
I'd really rather leave him alive so that information could be extracted from him. however, I would do my best to make the rest of his existence extremely painful. |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:07:13 AM EDT
[#6]
 I'd cuff him and call the feds. While we are waiting for them to arrive, I'd fix him a nice BLT. |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:12:38 AM EDT
[#7]
Eight rounds of 230 grain 45ACP
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:16:38 AM EDT
[#8]
OK, I'm going to need a power drill, 3 burly lonely gay men, and 10 pounds of pork ribs. Come back in a week and I'll let you know where the rest of the terror cells are. |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:19:40 AM EDT
[#9]
+10000000 and dont forget the pork dildo! |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:20:44 AM EDT
[#10]
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:28:04 AM EDT
[#11]
A couple hard, pipe-hittin' ni***rs - check. Pair of pliers - check. Blow torch - check. Okay, time to get medieval on his ass. |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:28:37 AM EDT
[#12]
Cheese Grater....
Nuf said. |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:29:59 AM EDT
[#13]
Me ->
 <- Him.And a little Me ->  <- Him when he's down.Kharn |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:40:45 AM EDT
[#14]
 +.9bar |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:42:39 AM EDT
[#15]
Won't you come in Sirl ( pronounced like Curl)
Cuff the scum Put the bacon grease on the stove, y'all got some right Walk to garage, find my friend hand sledge Backon grease should be hot now dip tips of .45 ball into bacon, follow up with 5.56 about two mags worth each Move towel head to office as it has a tile floor and makes for easy clean up Pour hot ( and I mean smoking hot) bacon grease over tender parts of body Apply hand sledge to extrimities starting with toes Extract where he hides his money Call Feds, open beer, pop in porn tape and seat towlie in front of Add sledge as needed, open medical bag to keep him awake Change out porn to something from the Morman chior Hand him over to Feds The .45 and 5.56 were only if needed and of course I would take pics for posting After feds pick him up sit down at computer and transfer all of towlies money to Salvation army |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:44:17 AM EDT
[#16]
Guns would be the last thing I would use- and probably not on him at all. I would just straight out kick his ass, right there in the front yard. Ed Norton would call and suggest that I star in American History X II after he saw the video of the curb bite. It would just be kinda of a primal rage that would happen for a while, long after he was dead. In the end, I would draw my weapon and turn and draw down on the crowd of neighbors that had gathered and inform them that if they stepped on my property that I would have to defend it (since I now have a $25 million dollar dead, bloody lawn Jockey laying on my lawn.) Pistol in hand, I would call 411 and ask for the number to the White House.
"Hey, can I speak with GW?.. Uh Huh.. Look, Just tell him I'm from Texas and I have OBL out here on my lawn.. Yeah, Osama..... No, I just killed him... Hey look, just put GW on the ph.... No Im not prank calling......I don't know, he just rang the damn door bell...Do I know him? Look lady... " lol |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:44:58 AM EDT
[#17]
I'd call up some of my boys and go to work on him with a blow torch and a pair of pliers........
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:45:52 AM EDT
[#18]
.40 cal to the head.
Collect reward. |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:46:07 AM EDT
[#19]
Give him a big hug........
Then knee him in the balls!!! |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:46:12 AM EDT
[#20]
It involves rope, a chair, and a dremel tool.
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:47:11 AM EDT
[#21]
My message would go something like this:
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG *stop, reload* BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:48:27 AM EDT
[#22]
.45 ACP to each knee and one to the gut, video camera and then post it on ARFCOM.
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:49:06 AM EDT
[#23]
I'd get out the bacon and say here have some while I'm dremeling his teeth out. THis is of course after I've cut off his feet and fed them to him, made him look at a slaughter house video processing the pork he is about to eat after I have cut off his eye lids. HEE HEEE HEEE HEE . THis is so fun!!!
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:52:27 AM EDT
[#24]
the message for him:
When playing poker down in Hell with Hitler, Stalin, and Mao, watch out for Mao because he cheats. Then have one of my girls beat him to death with a frozen pork loin. |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:52:58 AM EDT
[#25]
That (2x tap CoM + 1 to the head) was gonna be my answer, if no one beat me to it. Only thing I'd add is: "and a roundhouse kick to the face, courtesy of The Chuck, who regrets to inform you he couldn't make it today, because he was otherwise engaged, busily defiling your 72 'virgins' (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)." |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:55:14 AM EDT
[#26]
BANG!!! Now I'm rich!!!!
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:55:21 AM EDT
[#27]
The only answer i could give you right now is that i would knock him out, tie him up and keep him somewhere. Then i would call a few friends & we would have to discuss his
ETA: Shooting him would just be too humane. |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:55:32 AM EDT
[#28]
I'd say "thanks for the $25 million reward" BAM! BAM! doubletap
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:55:33 AM EDT
[#29]
Yup, I think we'll make a Texan outta you yet.......... you sumbitch! 
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Posted: 1/20/2006 8:58:25 AM EDT
[#30]
I would slightly modify your idea and impale the whole body (Tepes style), starting with the anus. Then I would take a page from macman and also put the panties on his head. Prior to all this, I would be mightily tempted to invite the Brokeback Mountain cowboys over, so they could stuff it in his pooper and I could post pics (over at DU  ).
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Posted: 1/20/2006 9:01:16 AM EDT
[#31]
IIRC, they tortured the fuck out of an attempted assassin of Louis XV. They placed the knife hand in burning sulfur, did some other stuff, and then opened up his chest and poured in molten lead before quartering him. Ouch. Oh, them were the days, back when torture was torture, and abuse was abuse, and the traitor lib media damned well knew the difference! 
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Posted: 1/20/2006 9:03:13 AM EDT
[#32]
They would all of a sudden discover "standards of journalistic integrity" that someone had packed away in a drawer years ago. 
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Posted: 1/20/2006 9:05:50 AM EDT
[#33]
Duct tape + chair + louisville slugger + video camera + extra groceries (he'd probably be here for a few days).
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Posted: 1/20/2006 9:10:06 AM EDT
[#34]
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Posted: 1/20/2006 9:19:45 AM EDT
[#35]
LOL good response
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Posted: 1/20/2006 9:26:23 AM EDT
[#36]
1) Torture him for days, break him down, and find out where all his family members are hiding
2) Turn him in ALIVE after telling him my plans 3) Collect 25mil woo hoo 4) Use some of the money to hunt down and behead his family members 5) Invest the rest in a diverse portfolio and retire 6) Throw a party 10-20 years later when the government FINALLY executes his sorry ass |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 9:44:06 AM EDT
[#37]
I'd take him into my bathroom, stick him in the tub, baptize him, then post the pics on terrorist websites.
"Look y'all, Osama has converted to the true faith!"
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Posted: 1/20/2006 9:46:53 AM EDT
[#38]
Make him read all 40 pages of this thread
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Posted: 1/20/2006 10:14:10 AM EDT
[#39]
First I'd torture him for about a month with misc. type beatings everyday. Little food (pork) little water (his own urin sometimes) all the while Keeping him medically alive enough to take the next round of beatings. Then I'd probably give him a good weak of recovery, you know, to get his hopes up about me possibly releasing him to the gov't. with his life while I collect 25 mill.
Then when he's strong enough I'll give him three pistols, only one will be loaded(thats what I tell him anyway). He would be given the option of shooting his brains out or me turning him over to our gov't. I would not have a gun, and his selected option would most likely be to point the gun at me while pulling the trigger ........OOOps NO BULLETS; He tries for the other 2 guns(also unlaoded) as I reach for the baseball bat to knock his ass out. He will later wake up screaming to the sound of me sawing at him with a hacksaw. I may have some friends help me to spead up the progress so he doesnt bleed out, as I will be sawing off all unessesary parts connected to his torso(other than his head). I will have already have aranged for him to be put into a medically induced coma. In a few weeks he will wake up with no legs, no arms, ears, nose lips, scalp, genitals, beard, etc. Then I'd tie a rope around his neck and pull his helpless torso behind my truck on the freeway during rush hour for the ride of his life! His head would then be taken to a taxidermist to be mounted obove my fireplace where I'd spit on it every morning before I brush my teeth! -Then I'll collect my $25 million!
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Posted: 1/20/2006 10:19:21 AM EDT
[#40]
12 gauge slug to the forehead, after I used buck on his groin.
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Posted: 1/20/2006 10:21:13 AM EDT
[#41]
Hello OBL: Meet my friend Mr. 12 ga. Autoloader!
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Posted: 1/20/2006 10:22:10 AM EDT
[#42]
 *BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG* -reload- *BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG* |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 10:30:21 AM EDT
[#43]
What nobody is gonna offer the man any pork rinds, WTF? Where is your hospitality?
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Posted: 1/20/2006 10:34:50 AM EDT
[#44]
Cut off his head...take pics and post pics online for ROPers with computers....send pics to Al jazeera for ROPers with TV's...Call Feds..collect money and hire airplanes to dump pics of dead Bin Laden all over the middle east for the backwards assed ROPers without computer or TV.
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Posted: 1/20/2006 10:34:54 AM EDT
[#45]
YEAH.....I fed the Bitch pork! Look a few posts above. |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 10:42:59 AM EDT
[#46]
*Bang**Bang**Bang**Bang**Bang**Bang**Bang**Bang**Bang**Bang**Bang**Bang*
*unzip sound* Ah.............. that feels better. *zip up* "That'll tech you al-qaeda bastages. Oh wait, you're that Osama one?" *Empties mag into corpse* |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 10:46:00 AM EDT
[#47]
My message to him: "You will spend every day of eternity in Hell watching me rape your mother and your sisters."
GunLvr |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 10:49:04 AM EDT
[#48]
First, I'd force him to eat rancid hamburger. Then, I'd stick hot shards of glass and metal into him. Then I'd castrate him with a butter knife and pour rubbing alcohol on all the wounds just before I'd choke the shit out of him with a Burka.
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Posted: 1/20/2006 10:56:50 AM EDT
[#49]
Invite him in to talk and see if the 2 of us could figure out this truce. Ask him if he would like something to drink and spike it with a little GHB.
When he woke up he would find himself strapped to a chair in front of a lighted wall with many small jars. Every 1/2 hour I would cut off 1 of his joints and place it in a jar. After about 28 hours he would then be just a torso and head and be on the verge of unconsciouses. I would then inject him with a big syringe of bacon grease and just before he was about to die, he would have a wood chipper accident. |
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Posted: 1/20/2006 11:00:04 AM EDT
[#50]
Shit, remind me not to get on your bad side
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